Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie
Billy Dee Williams, Smells Like Dope & Maxton
December 2, 2020
Greetings, salutations, and how the hell are you? Welcome to a special “Day of Dougie”. “Why is it special?”, you ask. I’ll tell you why. Because I haven’t written one in a while, because it’s the first non-Q&A blog of December, and because I like to use that introduction. It makes it seem like I may be talking about something important and relevant rather than the usual ramblings and rantings about something next to nothing. And who knows? I may, but we won’t know until I do the “Magic Bag” thing and draw out some topics for discussion.
Only 29 days left for 2020. I am so glad this year is nearly over because the past twelve months have been, to put it bluntly, a bunch of total crap. I just hope that once this year is finished with, we can finally relax a bit, take a deep breath, and move on with our lives in a fairly sane matter. But what if 2021 tells 2020 to “hold my beer”? With the Pedo and The Ho’ presumably taking over the White House on January 20, 2021, we’re already destined to be in for a wild ride of government overreach, socialism, and insane policies that will set our country and the American dream back about twenty-five years, give or take. And when Sniffy vacates the office of President, either willingly or not, and (Not) TheUgandan Giant takes control, we’re really fucked. But maybe justice will prevail. We’ll have to wait and see. By the way, where’s Hunter? Let’s get out the Magic Bag and figure out the topics of the day. Let’s get busy.
We have the bag in hand and are now looking to see what the fuss is all about and what’s causing all this. Our topics are: Billy Dee Williams, Smells Like Dope, and Maxton. An odd combination to be sure, but it is what it is. Let’s do this.
Billy Dee Williams…
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t really know much about this guy. He’s an entertainer and actor and did the commercials for Colt 45 beer back in the ’70s and early ’80s. And Florence, on The Jeffersons, had a wild crush on him when he did an appearance for the show. I can remember Marla Gibbs, the actress who played Florence, screaming “Billy Dee Williams! It’s Billy Dee Williams!” when he came on screen in the classic sitcom. Oh yeah, how could I forget? He also played the role of Lando Calrissian in the Star Wars movie franchise. So he’s been around for a while and done many a thing in Hollywood. And he recently came out as “gender fluid”, whatever the hell that means. It’s in the Wiki-notes. And I guess that’s enough about him. He’s a famous actor, painter, and betrayed Han Solo to the Empire. What more do you need to know? Let’s move on.
Smells Like Dope…
This one is a personal peeve of mine, but I’ll try to keep my composure and keep it short. Marijuana is illegal. I know that people say that it should be legalized and it’s not as bad as alcohol and all of that stuff. Blah, blah, blah. But it’s currently illegal. And it stinks to high (pun intended) hell. And kills brain cells. Did I mention it stinks. I’d rather smell a pile of horse shit than to have to smell someone who reeks of the illicit evil weed. So why do people come into my store and it’s almost as if they were Pig Pen (from the Charlie Brown cartoons) with a faint cloud of smoke and stink drifting behind them. They’re in a closed-up vehicle, puffing away on this illegal substance, and then come into a place of business, stinking the hell out of the place. Don’t they realize that the smell lingers and is clinging to them? And it makes me want to puke all over them. I generally break out the can of Lysol and start spraying as soon as they walk away from the counter to kill the odor. Have some respect for others and air out first before you come to a place of business where non-potheads may be present. I don’t want to see it or smell it and yes, we all do smell it. If you want to break the law and smoke pot, that’s your prerogative, but don’t force me and others to suffer as a result by having your doped-up ass stinking up my environment. Smelling like dope is not a badge of honor or anything to be proud of. It says to me and others that you don’t obey the law, don’t have respect for others and are too stupid to notice. And that’s the bottom line on that. By the way, turn that music down and pull up your pants too. And get a haircut. And let’s move on.
Maxton, NC is a small town about ten miles away from where I now currently reside. It’s a small town and when we, my family and I, moved there in 1979, it was even smaller. It had only one stoplight. And the place we lived, about three miles outside of the city, was 1.2 miles down a dirt road, surrounded by cows and fields. I actually liked living in Maxton, but that move changed my life forever. We, my family and I, were living in Raleigh, NC. The capital city of North Carolina. I was getting ready to turn fourteen years old, the prime of a young man’s life. And my family moved from a nice three-story home not far from the center of Raleigh to a small town with one stoplight, no neighbors, into a double-wide on a dirt road. And people wonder why I’m so fucked up in the head sometimes. Well, now you know. Maxton was a good little place back then. Now, as in most smaller towns, the businesses have left and drugs/crime have taken over, but I made some good friends there and have some good memories. Some not-so-good too, but mostly fond ones. And there you go.
And I guess that’s all for today. I glanced up at the clock and I have to go finish getting ready for work. A long day today, oy vey! So until the next time, take care of yourself and watch out for the crazies. Any comments, thoughts, or questions are welcome and appreciated. Have yourself a great day and always remember, every day is a great day when it’s a Day of Dougie. I’ll see you soon.