12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 9: Dancing In The Street, Extended Family & The Pina Colada Song…

12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas – Day 9
Dancing In The Street, Extended Family & The Pina Colada Song…
December 17, 2017
DougMaynard.com

It’s a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I have so many things that I could and should be out there doing. Okay, I’m lying. I have no life and nothing to do. I could watch some football on the TV or maybe go stalk someone on Facebook, but screw the NFL, at least until the playoffs, bunch of kneeling ass commie punks and so far as Facebook goes, a restraining order is just another way to say “I love you!”, right? Hold on for a second. I just thought of something. Be right back.

Okay, I’m back. Did you miss me? I just remembered about a guy I met last night at work who just happens to be my neighbor. I meant to look him up and see if he had a Facebook account last night, but I forgot. Too busy with making meatloaf and watching “Mixed Nuts”. And no, that’s not a transgender porn flick although that would make a great title for one if you think about it. So I went and looked up my new casual associate. I found his father, but not him. Now I’m a sad panda. But I’ll get over it.

As for here and now, I should be going out into the world and trying to get in some “chill time” with my BFF and the mini-me. We haven’t spoken since Friday afternoon if you can believe it. I think that’s a new record for us not talking for the past eight years, at least for the times that we’re getting along and not being bitches and fighting. I’ll text him as soon as I finish this, unless he texts me first. And then I won’t.

It’s time for Day 9 of the “12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas” blog series. I think I’m running a day behind here. I need an assistant. Or a boyfriend. Maybe both? Anyone interesting in applying? The pay would suck, but then again, so would the boss. Whoa! That was majorly inappropiate and wrong to add that line. I should be ashamed and should edit it out. But the rules for the “Days of Dougie” blogs is that anything goes and no censoring or political correctness allowed. I am so going to be sued one day. Damn you Kevin Spacey and Gloria Allred. Let’s go get the “Magic Bag” and see what the topics for today will be.

We have, “Dancing In The Street”, “the Pina Colada Song” and from the Christmas version of the “Magic Bag”, we have “Extended Family”. Looks like a fun ride is ahead. I’ve been wanting to tackle that damn “PinaColada” song for a while. It’s a great song, but so damn wrong in so many ways. Let’s get to shaking and do this.

Dancing In The Street…

Last time I went dancing in the street, someone called 911 because they thought I was having a seizure. I can not dance. It’s not my fault though. The white gene in my body, which says I have no rhythm is Republican and tends to supress and hold down the gay genes in my body which want to shake their booty and get down like a sea gull in a McDonald’s parking lot. Okay, I don’t get that reference either, but it’ll be okay. I just can’t dance. Not in the streets, not in the clubs, not in the house and not at the high school prom. Actually, I did dance a lot at my high school prom. Myself and my date for the evening, Carolyn, made the front page of the school newspaper while dancing together at the prom. It was a fun night and yes, I had a good time.

But what does all of that have to do with “Dancing In The Street?. That was a good song, originally recorded by Martha and the Vandellas and then covered by the team of David Bowie and Mick Jagger in a special recording and video made for Live Aid. Van Halen has also covered this song. I should record this song. Oh wait, I don’t sing either. No singing and no dancing. I may as well be straight and white. Well, I’m half way there anyhow. Let’s move on to the next topic.

Extended Family…

This one, to me, is very simple to define. It’s the people you meet, as life goes by, that may not be related to you by blood, but are as real and close and as much family in your eyes, mind and heart as any blood kin may be. It’s the people you work with, were raised with, meet at the church or club or even the local convenient store and for whatever reason, the connection is there and it just clicks. They become your brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews or whatever label or title you choose to use and give them. The label doesn’t matter… just the person themselves.

Oh crap, I just realized something. Extended family is your cousins, aunts, uncles, in-laws and the people who ARE related to you in some way, be it by blood or marriage or whatever. If that’s the “extended family”, then what are the people I was talking about in the first paragraph? I know what they are. A true blessing. And nothing more needs to be said because that says it all right there. Moving on…

The Pina Colada Song…

The real name of the song is called “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” and here are the lyrics. It was written and recorded by Rupert Holmes and was the last #1 song of the 70’s. I’ll add the video too at the site in a “Video Of The Day” post. But for now, the words.

I was tired of my lady, we’d been together too long.
Like a worn-out recording, of a favorite song.
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed.
And in the personals column, there was this letter I read:

“If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
I’m the lady you’ve looked for, write to me, and escape.”

I didn’t think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.
And though I’m nobody’s poet, I thought it wasn’t half-bad.

“Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
I’m not much into health food, I am into champagne.
I’ve got to meet you by tomorrow noon, and cut through all this red tape.
At a bar called O’Malley’s, where we’ll plan our escape.”

So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place.
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face.
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, “Oh, it’s you.”
And we laughed for a moment, and I said, “I never knew”..

“That you liked Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
And the feel of the ocean, and the taste of champagne.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You’re the love that I’ve looked for, come with me, and escape.”

“If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain.
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain.
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape.
You’re the love that I’ve looked for, come with me, and escape.”

So read it again, The man is bored with his marriage and checking out the classified ads while she’s laying in the bed next to him. And he comes across an ad and likes it and decides to cheat on his unsuspecting wife. He replies to the ad, goes to meet the woman and guess what? It IS his wife. She’s bored with the marriage too and looking for escape.

This is not good at all. Both the man and wife are looking to cheat on their partner. And what happens when they meet in O’Malley’s? They smile and laugh and compare notes. What the hell? Oh hell no! I find out my partner is placing ads in the paper and looking for some extra side-action, I’m getting pissed off. I’m gonna bust ’em in the face and show my ass. I’m not going to sit there and laugh and say, “I didn’t know you like Pina Colada’s and rain!”. This is so un-real and insane. And the woman, she’s the one who placed the ad in the first place and when caught, just smiles? Are you crazy? Actually, that part I can see because women will do that if they’re busted and caught at something they’re not supposed to do. Smile and act all innocent. Or else go crazy and turn the tables on the man, making him take all the blame for what SHE did. I think that’s one of the reasons I’m happier being gay. Well, that and I like guys. But still, back to my point.

These two are not happy so they both decide to cheat and then, in the end, find out that the person they’re looking for all along was each other. It makes for a great song and a cute story, but realism and true to life, I don’t freakin’ think so. But then again, I’m a wrestling fan so what do I know about real life, right? This song just annoys me, but in a good way. And now, it’s stuck in my head too and I’ll be singing along to it the rest of the day.

And for the questions asked in the song, I don’t much like Pina Coladas. I prefer Bud Light or Jack Daniels. Walking in the rain is awesome and a great feeling, especially with the right person next to you. Love the ocean, but making love in the dunes isn’t good. Ever gotten sand up your crack? Not a pleasant feeling. Making love at midnight is awesome. I need a boyfriend. Or a friend. Or a boy. A FWB. I’ve got benefits if anyone needs a friend. I’m tired of being alone. Maybe an ad in the classified section. It worked for these folks. Oh vey!

And I guess that’s all for today. I’ll post the video for the song at the site, http://www.DougMaynard.com and also on my Facebook and Twitter pages so you can enjoy it and have it playing in your mind as well for a few days. You’re welcome. Thoughts and comments are welcome and appeciated. Add me on Twitter at @doug28352. And I guess that’s all. Have a great one and stay safe. Love you – mean it and if you like Pina Coladas, call me.

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 12 Days 2

12 Dougie Days Of Christmas (Prologue)

@00 @ 1 1 a a meme

Tomorrow, it begins anew. It’s the “Twelve Dougie Days of Christmas”, exclusively here for your pleasure, at my site, DougMaynard.com. Are you excited? Are you ready? Are you wondering what the hell I’m talking about. Well, the answer should be yes for the first two questions and as for the last one, I’ll explain.

We already know what the twelve days of Christmas are, right? The whole song thing with ducks, geese, maids and five golden rings. Well, take that song and the whole Christmas spirit for which it embodies and mix it up with a recurring theme here at the site, the whole “(Insert number here) Days of Dougie” thing that I do occasionally, where I, for a certain period of time, write every day and it’s totally random. I draw the topics of discussion from a bag of scraps of paper I have called the “Magic Bag” and whatever comes out, that’s what I write out. No advance knowledge or warning – just here’s the topic and go. It’s always a challenge, usually entertaining and makes for a great writing exercise. That’s what we will be doing here, but with a bit of a Christmas theme and twist. It’s my Christmas present to you since I’m too cheap to spring for cards or anything else. And it’s a present to myself as well since it gives me an opportunity to cut loose and just see what happens. Any topic is possible and no limits or political correctness allowed. It’s just a free as a bird concept and we’re going to run with it.

So starting tomorrow, Wednesday, December 6, 2017 and running for the next twelve days, until December 17, 2017, be sure to watch your Facebook timeline or Twitter Feed for the “12 Dougie Days Of Christmas”. And if you’re not following me on Twitter, you should be at @doug28352. I’ll follow back. Just saying.
But anyhow, it’s coming and just like Santa Claus, it’ll be bringing all sorts of Christmas goodies for your enjoyment… I hope. You’ve been warned. Now sit back and enjoy the ride.

And now, work beckons so I must depart. Keep watching and thanks to everyone who comes to and reads the site for your support. Have a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and all of that. I’ll catch you later.

Ubuntu!

One On One: Enzo Amore versus Cousin Itt…

Tossing Salt Presents: One On One
Enzo Amore versus Cousin Itt
October 27, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Two of the most iconic short characters in the history of television are from the WWE, the ever-annoying and obnoxious current WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Enzo Amore and from the legendary Addams Family, the family philosopher and voice of reason, Cousin Itt. Because absolutely no one asked, here is a side-by-side look at these two little folks who wear the dark glasses and weird hats. It’s Enzo Amore versus Cousin Itt as they go… One on One.

Enzo Amore versus Cousin Itt

Enzo…

Short & Fiesty
Weird Hair
Part of WWE 205 Live
Certified G & Bonafide Stud
Annoying Voice
Wears Gucci
2-time WWE Cruiserweight Champion
Crowds chants catch-phrases
Once part of NXT
Former Partner of Big Cass
Attended the Mayweather / McGregor Fight
Kicked out of the WWE Dressing Room

Cousin Itt

Short and Lovable
Covered With Hair
Part of the Addams Family
Carefree Bachelor and “Full Of Talent”
High Pitched Voice
Wears Derby, Dark Glasses and Gloves
Actor, Singer and Marriage Counselor
Only Understood By Family Members
Once part of an exhibit at the zoo
Was Married to “Margaret” in the Addams Family Value movie.
Officiated the wedding of Fester and Debbie
Always welcome at the Addams Family household.

And there is no comparison really. Cousin Itt is the epitome of the word “Cool!”. And Enzo… he gets on my nerves, just as he allegedly gets on most everyone elses in the WWE. He supposedly really is that annoying and I believe it. So Cousin Itt wins and is the real “Certified G” and “Bonafide Stud”. And if you don’t agree, two words for you… lol. And there you go… How you doing?

And with that, I’m down and gone. Thanks for reading. Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated. Follow me here and on Twitter too at @doug28352. Until the next time, take care. Love you – mean it.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 1 a enzo vs it meme

 

Homo-Redneck Rant…

Homo-Redneck Rant – September 18, 2017

People just trip me out sometimes. Earlier today, I shared on my Facebook page a post that was one of that of a Confederate Flag with the meme, “Why is it OK to display a gay flag and have gay pride but not OK to display a Confederate flag and have Southern Pride?” And my comment was “I’ll proudly display them both at my home. #homoredneck4life”.

And yes, that is the truth. I have a keychain on my keys right now with the Confederate flag on it and on my leg, I have tattooed the gay pride flag, with Thumper (from the movie “Bambi” right dead in the center). I don’t care for labels much, but long ago, my BFF and brother from another mother tagged me with the label “Emo Homo Redneck” and it fits so if a label is required, that’s the one I use.

But back to my story. I posted that post on my Facebook page and forgot about it. It’s not a big deal. I’m proud of my southern roots and proud to be a gay man and I think anyone that has known me for more than a few hours would know and realize this. Both distinctions are part of who I am, yet neither is the total of who I am. I am a combination of many things to differing degrees and I am Dougie… hear me roar. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, I don’t think that post will surprise or faze anyone who truly knows me and they’ll just shrug, smile and move on to the next post or meme or whatever. That’s how most people would react, but there is one person on my Facebook page that doesn’t seem to get with the program. Let me explain.

I came to my computer a few minutes ago and I had an IM waiting. No big deal. It’s from a guy who I know casually and have for about ten years, maybe a little longer, and while we’re not friends per say, we have mutual friends in common and if we see each other in the street or at Wal-Mart or whatever, we speak and wave and move on. But they’ve sent me a message and well, it was a bit on the crazy side.

He commented almost immediately that he didn’t know I was gay and always thought I was cool. And I’m reading this and am like, “please don’t be going where I think this is going.” And then after a comment about the rebel flag and having a beer sometime, he got right to the point, which is where I was afraid this was going to go. “You want to suck my **** sometime?”, he asked, And he sent a picture of his penis in the next message, all proud and in it’s full glory. It was nice and pretty enough but could use a little trimming around the edges so it it wouldn’t be so bushy.  But in regards to that question, I don’t think so. The answer is “NO!”

Why is it that every straight man assumes that if he’s friends with a gay man, all we want to do is jump his bones and sleep with him? What the hell? Ninety-eight percent of my friends are straight guys and while some of them are attractive guys, just because we hang out and are friends does not mean I want to jump into the sack with you or get funky like a monkey with you or whatever. I might check you out sometimes and I might even talk trash and throw out the occasional innuendo or perverted comment… Hell, I can almost assure you that I’ll be making remarks and talking trash because that’s what I do. It shows that I like you, respect you and am comfortable with you. And that’s between me and my friends. And the few that have called me out on my trash-talking, it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s just friends being friends and guys being guys. It’s not a big deal.

But this guy realizes that I’m gay and just automatically thinks I want to suck his… It doesn’t work like that, sweetheart. I’m not that easy. At least buy me dinner or let’s go hang out at the college first or something. And what’s really bad about this is that this person is married… with children. And I know his wife. And I know his kids. Again, not well, but I know them. And he’s sending me dick pics and trying to get laid. Nah, it ain’t gonna happen. Not now and not ever. I have a good mind to reveal his name and send his message and pictures to his wife on her Facebook page. I did think about it, but it’s not going to happen either. I’m going to ignore the pic and I replied back that thanks, but no thanks. I don’t do married men and it wouldn’t be right. Hopefully, he’ll get the message. And I’ve already forgotten the entire reason for this post and why I decided to write this. Oh yeah, there are a few things that my friends, straight, bi, gay, transgender and otherwise, all need to know when dealing with me. And here goes…

Even if I’m checking you out, don’t feel special. I check all of the guys out at some point that I hang out with.

I do not want to get into your pants or be your side-homo or whatever. If I want to get freaky with you, I’ll tell you. Don’t assume.

If I talk trash and talk innuendo, don’t take it too seriously. It means I’m comfortable and relaxed with you. I talk trash sometimes and if if makes you uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll quit. Or talk back. It could be fun too.

If you’re in a relationship, I’m going to respect that and keep my distance, regardless of what I might think of or feel for you. And if I’m in one, I expect you to do the same.

And I’ve forgotten what else I was going to say. What was the point of this whole blog anyhow? My mind just went blank. I hate it when that happens, which is far too often sometimes.

So long story short, to summerize everything I’ve already said. I posted a meme. Proud to be a Southerner and proud to be a gay man. A guy wants to me suck his d***. He sent a pic. I said no and that’s the end of that. And I don’t sleep with or try to sleep with every guy I’m around or even most of them. I will talk trash, but all you straight boys is safe. ‘Nuff said!

This post was weird. I’ll post it anyhow because I wrote it and if I write it, you must read it. I probably should have just done a “Wrestling Q&A” instead. I’m going to go get ready for work. Maybe Ryan, my future ex-husband from the college, who I WANT to sleep with and make my baby-daddy, will come in to the store tonight. He so damn sexy… and a really nice guy too. He wrestles. I like wrestling. Rawrrrr!

I’m gone for now. Maybe the next piece, after work tonight will make more sense. I’ve got a “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”, a “This or That” and an “Opposing Views” all lined up and outlined. I just have to write and post them. Oh vey! Well, until the next time, don’t send me any dick pics and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Okay, change that. If you’re actually cute and someone I would probably like to talk to, unlike this clown I was speaking of earlier, send me any pics you want. I’m on Facebook and Twitter at @doug28352. But just don’t assume anything. Ask and I’ll tell you, but assumptions… we all know what they do. Later, my Peeps. I’m down and gone.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 pride rednck

I’m Back!

I’m back…

As some of you may have noticed, it’s been almost a week since my last update of the site. And if you didn’t notice, pay attention. Just kidding (or am I?) But long story short is not that I was abducted by aliens and carried deep into outer space and subjected to many deep and dark probes. Well, not quite that anyhow, although I have been poked, probed, analyzed, scrutinized and given many dirty looks over the past week, but just not be aliens. At least I don’t think they were aliens, but a few of them just may be. Hmmm. Next time, I ask to see their green cards.

But what happened and why I haven’t been here to flood your Twitter and Facebook with notifications about assorted Q&A’s and lots of wrestling stuff, was quite simply, I got sick. I’ve been feeling kind of out of it and bad for a while and last week was no different. Pain and I are old friends and physically hurting is something that I’m quite familiar with and used to. But last week was worse than usual and I was definitely just a pale shadow of my usual loving and awesome self. But I figured that I’d do as usual and tough it out and be okay. Well either that or just die and, regardless of which one happened first, that’d be the end of it and life goes on, right? Well, unless I had died and then it wouldn’t have mattered. I actually wasn’t too worried about that prospect though. I have too many people left in this world to piss off and annoy the shit out of to go anywhere anytime soon. And I was having headaches, sore throats, body aches and fatigue, all of which are annoying as shit, but generally not anything more than that. Or so I thought.

By the way, if I should ever happen to suddenly die without warning or advance notice, someone please destroy my computer. Erasing the browser history might not be anough and there are some things that my family and any survivors should never see or know about, like the google search for gay unicorns in Antartica. Or the disabled midget porn with honey nut cheerios. I’m a writer, damn it. It’s just research for a blog. But someone clear my browser and destroy this computer… please.

What was I talking about anyhow? Don’t mind me. I’m drunk… on life. Yay! But back to last week. I was hurting and weak and feeling bad. I felt bad on Tuesday and Wednesday, but didn’t really pay it attention. Thursday, I’m a hurting and sick little bitch, but I’ll be okay. I work Friday at my job (and yes, I worked my entire shift because I have work ethic and my responsibilities come first, before everything, including my own personal health). But by the end of work Friday night, I was so damn sick and sore and hurting so badly. I couldn’t talk and was slurring my words badly. I couldn’t swallow or drink and was having trouble breathing. My head was hurting. My ears were hurting. I haven’t felt that awful in years and that’s saying something. I got off work and went immediately to the Emergency Room of our local hospital.

Long story short (didn’t I already say that? I guess I lied then… lol) my blood sugar was close to 500 and there was an absess on my left tonsil at the back of my mouth and it was partially restricting my throat and breathing. I was admitted pretty quickly and then transferred to Moore County, about 30 miles away, where I ended up staying until late Monday afternoon. I’m now on several medications, back on shots for my diabetes (3 shots a day), a restricted diet and many more appointments to come.

So I haven’t been writing because I’ve been sick. I’m still not 100%, but I feel a thousand times better than I did. And hopefully tonight and tomorrow, I’ll start playing catch up for the site. I’ve got so many things I want to write about and the stories I want to tell you. You just don’t know. I’m going to try and get a couple of Q&A’s up today for a warm up and then, it’s on like syrup on a stack of pancakes. I’m hungry by the way. Pancakes would be good.

But the bottom line is, get ready because my site, DougMaynard.com, is back. I’m back… and like Eric Bischoff’s old wrestling theme from his WWE days as the RAW General Manager used to say (obscure wrestling reference), “I’m back… and better than ever!” So hang on, come back often and let’s do this.

A big shout out to my brother, Kenneth, who has done so much for me the past week (and always). Couldn’t make it without him. Love ya, Bro! And to everyone for giving me reason to keep doing this and keep going on every day, even when I want to just say “screw it!” and give up.

And now, my friends, as Al Bundy used to say, “Let’s rock!”

Ubuntu!

P.S. If you have any comments, thoughts, ideas for topics to write about, questions about absolutely anything, good recipes, etc… please let me know and talk to me. I’m always trying to improve the site and expand my topics of conversation. Any help or feedback is appreciated. I can be reached at my e-mail, Doug28352@yahoo.com or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/saltpalace. And on Twitter, I’m at @Doug28352. Follow me. And again, thanks to everyone for the support and inspiration. Ya’ll is the bomb! Love ya – mean it!

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Wrestling Q&A – July 31, 2017

Tossing Salt Presents:
Wrestling Q&A
July 31, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Greetings and welcome to yet another wrestling Q&A. Yes, I do way too many of these things, but what the hell? There are questions and I have answers and what is a man supposed to do? I guess I could just go watch YouTube or Netflix and try to put myself to sleep for a few hours. It’s late at night and I’m tired and have to be up early. That would be the smart thing, but when have I ever claimed to be smart? A “sexy beast” to be sure, and definitely smarter than the average bear, but I still like to occasionally just go with the flow and say to hell with conventional wisdom. This is one of those times, besides, sleep is over-rated anyhow. The questions come from Facebook, both the Jim Crockett Promotions group and the KoK. The answers are from me. Let’s do this…

What is everyone’s moment when they fell in love with wrestling?

It’s hard to pick just one defining moment, but I know of a few from back in my childhood days that were strong factors. How about The Mighty Igor bouncing Crusher Jerry Blackwell around in the ring like a basketball? How about Blackjack Mulligan and Ric Flair teaming, then feuding and having classic battles all over the territory. How about the Anderson Brothers getting a man in the ring and working on that arm, breaking down their opponent piece by piece. How about watching Johnny Weaver and Gene Anderson go thirty minutes in Lumberton, NC and putting on a wrestling clinic, bell to bell. How about the first time seeing Andre the Giant live and in person. That man was freakin’ big. So many great moments to choose from and all of them contributed in some fashion to turn me into the fan I’ve always been and remain today.

Who was the greatest three man team to hold this title (NWA World Six Man Tag Team Championship)?

I had to go look this up because while I certainly remember the six-man tag titles in the NWA, they weren’t around for long (1984 – 1989) and were never really big or important in the overall scheme of things for Crockett or the NWA. They weren’t held by many groups and certainly not the teams like the Freebirds or Midnight Express, who you’d expect to see in six man tag matches. The main teams that held the titles were the Road Warriors and Dusty, The Road Warriors and Tenyru, The Russians (Ivan, Nikita and Krusher Kruschev), Ivan Koloff and the Powers of Pain, and a makeshift team of Sam Houston, Buzz Tyler and Manny Fernandez. WCW had their own six-man tag titles for a while too, but this question was specific about the NWA version. And of the teams that held the title (and mainly because I didn’t like Dusty as a wrestler and refuse to give him any credit for his titles), I’ll go with the first set of “Russians” to hold the titles as the greatest team. That was Ivan, Nikita and Don Kernodle.

Who had the better 1st year in WWE? Angle or Styles?

Different times and different eras, so it’s like comparing apples to oranges in my opinion. Both men have done incredible in their WWE debut years, but AJ has a long professional history behind him, having been a major star all over the world. Kurt was relatively new to the world of professional wrestling and when that is taken into consideration, to do as great as he did and score the success he did, in his rookie year, I have to go with Kurt on this one.

How is it fair in an rumored 13 Match Summerslam card, 8 of the 13 are Raw matches??!!

It doesn’t have to be fair. It’s the WWE and RAW is considered the A-brand and # 1 show by WWE management. That’s just how it is and how Vince McMahon wants it. How we feel about it isn’t important.

Is There a Match that you have seen, that others have not that you would recommend to fans?

I have long said that the match between Ric Flair and Barry Windham w/ James J. Dillon (The Horsemen) versus The Midnight Express (Stan Lane and Bobby Eaton) w/ Jim Cornette at WCW Clash of the Champions IV: Season’s Beatings, is one of the best matches I have ever seen, bar none. I would strongly recommend this match for everyone to see at least once.

Who you think was the strongest man in jcp? I think maybe Superstar Billy Graham.

Superstar Graham was strong to be sure, but during his time with Crockett, he had slimmed down and worked a more martial artist type style than his usual muscle man character. The strongest man I can remember would be the Mighty Igor. He played a character of a simpleton in the ring, but the man was so damn strong and this was pre-steroids. He regularly would perform tests of strength like bending steel bars, breaking cinder blocks or even, with his back braced against a wall or a wrestling ring, use his legs to hold back a moving car. He was billed as “The World’s Strongest Man” and this was twenty-five years before Mark Henry. And like Henry did in the WWE, Igor definitely could live up to the hype with his muscles and power.

In your era of watching jcp, who is your top 5?

You don’t specify singles wrestlers or tag teams so I’ll do both. I’m not going by the best or most titles, but who I enjoyed the most and I loved to watch and see and hear from the most. For singles, it would be in no particular order, Blackjack Mulligan, Ric Flair, Baron Von Raschke, Masked Superstar and The Great Kabuki. As far as Crockett era tag teams, I’ll go with, again in no particular order, The Anderson Brothers, Steamboat and Youngblood, Ray Stevens & Jimmy Snuka, Paul Jones and Baron Von Raschke and finally Sgt. Slaughter and Don Kernodle.

Is that it? I was just starting to get some momentum going and was getting into it. Well, if you have any wrestling questions or any questions of any kind, about anything, send them to me and I’ll do my best to answer. Nothing is off limits around here. I’m at Doug28352yahoo.com or at Twitter at @doug28352.

And thank you for reading. Feedback is welcome and appreciated. I guess I’m going to try that bed thing again. Wish me luck. Have a great night and I’ll catch you later.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 kiss demon meme

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: July 28, 2017

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
July 28, 2017
Doug Maynard
DougMaynard.com

Greetings, salutations and all of that great stuff. Welcome to professional wresting’s most eclectic column since 2002, the one and only “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News”. I’m Doug and I’m your host for the evening. Enter freely and of your own will. I haven’t been around all that much for a while now, spending more time trying to build up my own blog over at DougMaynard.com rather than commenting on the great sport we all love, but at the request of our resident boss-man of all things PWBTS, I’m here today to throw together a little something something for your reading pleasure. How about some Q&A and lots of it? Does that sound fun? I think so, so let’s get to it. These questions come from Facebook and a little group called the KoK (Kult of Kayfabe). And a few come from the group “Jim Crockett Promotions – A Great Era In Pro Wrestling”. Both groups are awesome and you should really check them out if you get the chance. And with that said, let’s talk some rasslin’…

Wrestling Q&A…

Simon says, “The Observer is reporting that WWE are looking to do another roster shake-up after Summerslam, with superstars possibly being sent down to NXT… So, my question is who would you select to drop into NXT? And why?”

Off the top of my head, the top men and women that I’d send down to NXT would be probably The Ascension, Dolph Ziggler and maybe Big Show. The reasons are as follows. With Dolph, he’s a great talent, but has grown stale on the main stage and isn’t really being used much anyhow. So let him go to NXT to work with and help guide the new guys, add some “star power” to the NXT events and possibly re-brand himself for another run on the roster. With the Ascension, it’s the same thing. They were buried pretty much from the start when they came to the main roster and they need to be re-branded or rebooted or something. How about a trip back down to NXT to get repackaged and allow them a second chance when the time is right. And Big Show because his act is stale and tired and he could be more useful as a trainer / agent with the NXT wrestlers, plus like Ziggler, he would add star power and name recognition to the NXT live events.

Ben says, “Name a wrestler that everybody HATES but you LOVE.”

Bo Dallas, Heath Slater and Curtis Axel… the former Social Outcasts and current Miztourage, plus one who has kids. Always loved their work and characters even when they’re working the c-shows and being buried.

Ben says, “Name a wrestler that everyone loves but you hate.”

Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. I just don’t get them or like their characters. They do nothing for me at all.

Dallas says, “Am I the only one that don’t want the Broken Hardys in WWE? I feel like they will end up like the Wyatts or something… I just dont see it being taken serious in WWE.”

I don’t think that the “Broken Universe” characters and concept would work in WWE either and would quickly end up being buried, especially since we’ve already had Matt and Jeff back and being Matt and Jeff Hardy, not the Broken Matt and Brother Nero characters. While I don’t mind a few teases here and there, I think that Matt and Jeff are better to just go on being themselves and not be trying to rehash the past and what they did in TNA. But with that being said, I still have to say this too. “F*CK THE OWL!”…

Nick asks, “With what WWE has done with Nakamura, Finn Balor and Gallows and Anderson, do you think its a good move for Kenny Omega to go there when he can?”

I’m kind of on mixed opinion on this. If Omega does end up in WWE eventually, he’ll make more money and get more mainstream recognition than he ever has at any point in his career. But that being said, he’ll go from being the big fish in a relatively small pond to being a big fish in an ocean full of big fishes and he’ll be one of many fighting for the top spots rather than automatically being given that spotlight from the beginning. He could end up like AJ Styles or he could be buried like Gallows and Anderson. It could go either way. I think he’s talented enough and charismatic enough that he’d have a good run in WWE and be moderately successful, but would he be the big dog? Nope, I doubt it. Omega just needs to decide what he wants to do and then weigh all the options, both pro and con. I think he’d do well.

Nick asks, “When Carmella cashes in, will she be successful or not? I think she will be successful. Why or why not?”

She is the first Ms. Money In The Bank. And Naomi is not all that as the Smackdown Women’s Champion. I think Carmella will be successful when she cashes in that contract and will be a great Smackdown Women’s Champion as well.

Is it smart for Baron Corbin cash in at Summer Slam for a Raw belt?

Baron Corbin is a Smackdown Live superstar so I don’t even know if cashing in on a Raw title is possible. But if Corbin wants to jump into the mix with Roman, Braun, Samoa Joe and Brock Lesnar, so be it. Go for it. I don’t think his odds would be all that great, but what the hell? It’d be fun to see. Corbin is much better watching the action with Jinder Mahal and either Cena or Kensuke and get involved at the end of (or during) that one. His odds would be much better.

What should be the stable name? (Jinder, Khali, Sighn Brothers)

It should be “प्रभुत्व”, pronounced “prabhutv” and is the Indian word for “Domination”.

So on a scale between 0-meh how excited were you for The Great Khali’s return?

I had a feeling we would be getting a surprise, but I was for some reason, thinking Shawn Daivari rather than Khali. But whatever. So long as Khali doesn’t try to wrestle any single matches, it should be okay. I’m actually glad to see him back to add a little credibility to Jinder’s reign.

Should I be embarrassed that I just now realized PJ Black is Justin Gabriel?

Yes, you are an idiot and should have immediately recognized that Black and Gabriel are one and the same. And you know what happens to stupid idiots who can’t recognize that these two names were used by the same man? Do you know what happens? You just made the list! (I am so glad that Chris Jericho is back!)

On the lookout for some decent podcast to listen to at work, usually mix it up between Jericho’s, E&C’s pod of awesomeness, stone cold and Sam Roberts, any others recommended?

Eric Bischoff’s over at MLW and Jim Cornette’s are both excellent to listen to. Tony Schiavone’s is pretty good and even though they’re not technically podcasts, listen to the audio shows on PWInsiderelite.com (subscribe) and listen to Dave, Mike, Eps, Les Thatcher and the rest of the PWInsider crew. Great stuff all around.

I seriously hope that Braun wins at Summerslam. Who you guys want to win? Strowman, Joe, Roman, or Lesnar?

I don’t think that Braun is quite ready to be the Universal Champion at this point and I sure as hell don’t want to see Roman get it, so I’ll go with Samoa Joe. The man is a walking and talking wrestling machine and definitely deserves the opportunity to be the top dog on RAW for a while.

In just WWE, where do you rank New Day in all-time greatest stables?

I won’t discount their success and marketability, but for me personally, I probably wouldn’t even have them in the Top 10.

2 part Question: #1 Why is WWE still holding on to Paige and Her Contract. #2 By Now, is Paige even Marketable?

I think that the only reason that WWE has not fired Paige yet is because of the movie they’re filming about her career and her family. They have so much money and time already invested, plus The Rock is one of the executive producers, and they don’t want to lose on this project. And is she still marketable? If Paige was to start acting right, dump Del Rio and clean up her act, America loves a great comeback story and Paige would be a living, breathing example of hitting rock bottom (or extremely close) and then making that journey back to the top. I don’t think it will happen though because there are stories (not confirmed) that a warrant has been issued for her arrest due to the incident with Del Rio a few days ago in an airport and if she is arrested for Domestic Violence, it’ll be her third strike with the WWE and they’ll have no choice but to fire her. It’s going to be interesting to see how this all plays out.

And now, let’s go old school with some questions about the Mid-Atlantic region and the territory that was Jim Crockett Promotions…

Who in your opinion was the most underrated talent in Jim Crockett Promotions?

So far as talents in Crockett that were fantastic and could go, but never got their just due, I’ll go with Gary Royal, who had success in the Central States as a manager and was also a former NWA Junior Heavyweight Champion. And how about Dewey Robertson, who went on to later fame as the Missing Link in Texas and then the WWF. So many names to choose from. Wait, I know. Let’s go with Don Kernodle. The man was awesome as part of a tag team with Sgt. Slaughter, but aside from that, was rarely given the kudos he deserved so often.

Nivram asks, “Did Dusty Rhodes copy his mic style after Thunderbolt Patterson?”

Yes. Dusty copied his promo style after both Thunderbolt Patterson and Superstar Billy Graham. He’s admitted to this in several interviews and I believe also in his book.

Doug asks, “Who was the poorest fit in JCP? I would say Larry Zbyszko in his 1987 run, didn’t fit at all.”

Zbyszko could have been used better than he was. I admit that, but think about this. We (fans) still talk about Zbyszko and Baby Doll and whatever was in that manilla envelope thirty years later, so was it really a bad spot for Larry? The first character that comes to mind for me was Superstar Billy Graham. Not long after his WWWF run, he came to the Carolina’s and had shaven his head and was doing a martial arts gimmick, plus was placed with Paul Jones as his manager. I still scratch my head at that and wonder what were they thinking?

Joe asks, “Who do you think was the greatest manager in JCP? Mine was a tie between JJ Dillon and Jim Cornette.”

I love Dillon and Cornette and would even go so far as to say that Corny is one of my favorite managers of all time, but I’m going to go with Gene Anderson for managers who were solely Crockett. The man barely talked, but he was an “Anderson” and having Gene in your corner was instant credibility. I remember him managing Iron Sheik, Jimmy Snuka, Ray Stevens, etc and he was great in his role. Maybe he was never the “big star manager” that the others were, but he was damn good at what he did.

John asks, “In JCP, what matches never happened that you wish did happen?”

I would have liked to see Flair and Kabuki have a go at it. The Andersons versus The Briscos or versus Steamboat / Youngblood would have been fun to watch. And how about Blackjack Mulligan versus Ole Anderson in a wrestling ring (and not at the WCW Power Plant). That could have been great to see.

Lamar asks, “Road Warrior Hawk vs Road Animal in a Chicago street fight – who ya’ll taking? I’m taking Hawk!”

Well, they snack on danger and dine on death, but the dead man here would have been Animal as Hawk would have totally whipped the “big man’s” ass.

Lamar asks, “Best memory of JCP?”

Where do I start? Valentine breaking Wahoo’s leg? Valentine breaking Flair’s nose? The whole “Hat versus The Robe” feud with Flair and Blackjack Mulligan? The antics of the “Boogie Woogie Man” Jimmy Valiant? Enforcer Luciano chewing on a light bulb during an interview. The Anderson Brothers trying to “sacrifice” Ray “The Crippler” Stevens to keep their tag team titles? The Battle Royals in 1981 where the eventual winner (Sgt. Slaughter) won a 1981 Cadillac? The Brisco Brothers turning on Jimmy Valiant and breaking his boom-box? Tully Blanchard’s search for his “Perfect 10”? Abdullah the Butcher coming out of nowhere and attacking Wahoo McDaniel? So many great memories to choose from here. I think though, I’ll go with the build towards Starcade 83 with Dick Slater and Bob Orton Jr. going after Flair and trying to collect the bounty placed on Flair’s head by then NWA World Champion Harley Race. That was a fantastic build for a truly historic event.

Josh says, “A while back, Jimmy Valiant told me that Crockett had all the talent to compete with an organization up north. He said the problem was Crockett didn’t know how to use or promote his talent on that level and that he tried to expand too fast. I agree with Jimmy. What are you thoughts and opinion on this?”

I think I agree. Crockett was fine being a big fish in a small pond and if he had kept Crockett Promotions in the south-east, I think things may have worked out a big better in the long run. But moving the company HQ to Texas and trying to go all over the United States was too much, too fast and the company wasn’t ready or prepared for that kind of expansion. Also, having Dusty as the booker probably didn’t help matters either because Dusty had big ideas, but couldn’t really get past the idea of maybe having others in the spotlight instead of just Dusty and his friends. If Dusty had been just a booker and not an active wrestler, things could have worked out better as well, but the “Dream” had to be at the top of the card and his act grew stale after a while. From what I understand, Jim Crockett didn’t want to run JCP and was selected by the family to run things after the death of their father and the original pick to run things, Frances Crockett’s husband, left the business. So maybe if David or Frances or some other member of the family had been the boss and making the decisions, things could have worked out differently too. But this is all speculation. Valiant was there though and part of the company at the end so I would guess he knows better than most of the rest of us. He’s probably right.

Larry asks, “If you were given the chance to induct an all JCP Class to the WWE Hall of Fame, who would be your picks?”

Well, if you take away the most obvious picks, who are already members of the WWE Hall of Fame, like Ric Flair, Dusty, Rick Steamboat, Blackjack Mulligan and Jimmy Valiant, I think you would still be able to have a really strong group of inductees. My choices would be Jim Crockett Jr., Wahoo McDaniel, Paul Jones, The Anderson Brothers, Baby Doll, Magnum TA, Baron Von Raschke, Nikita Koloff, Bob Caudle and referee Tommy Young.

Wow! That was a lot of questions and a lot of answers, but it was fun, wasn’t it? I need to pick up my game and get back to writing real columns about real news and items of interest and it’ll happen, sooner rather than later. I promise. As for now, I’m out of here. Thank you for reading and thank you Bob, for putting up with my slackiness and procrastination. Check out my site, DougMaynard.com, when you get the chance and let me know what you think. Thoughts, comments and ideas on how to make things better / topics to write about, are appreciated. I’m on Twitter at @doug28352 and on Facebook at Facebook.com/saltpalace. Look me up and add me. And now, as the great Baron Von Raschke would say, “Dat’ is all de’ people need to know!”. Have a great one and I’ll catch you later.

Ubuntu!

wcw world title belt