Well, I’m sitting here watching “Conan” on television and yes, I am that bored. I stayed home tonight instead of heading over to the La Krew Familia compound and chillaxin’ with my friends. Was feeling kind of rough and even though my foot is still hurting quite badly… and my hand is throbbing… and I’m having slight chest pains, I still feel a thousand times better now than I did earlier tonight. I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday morning about my hand and I think I’ll do some questioning about the hurting legs, feet and chest too. Or maybe I’ll just swallow a few of these Dollar General Extra Strength Pain Relievers (500mg) and just forget about it and be happy. Hmmm! It could go either way here.

Did you hear about the folks at the Vatican. One-hundred and fifteen Cardinals have gotten together to elect a new Pope. Wouldn’t you hate to be a teenage male intern at the Vatican right now. And all of the Cardinals, they don’t have access to newspapers, television, radios, telephones or the internet right now until the voting is complete. Gotta have some fun and entertainment somehow. Just watch your butt, little male teenage intern. Don’t worry – all the Cardinals will do it for you.

Ouch! Now we all know why I’m not in the running to be elected the next Pope. Well, comments like the one above plus I’m not Catholic. That may have something to do with it as well. Who knows?

So what I’m going to write about it here a little of this and a little of that. Okay, that sounds kind of dumb. I’m going to clean out my notebooks and tell you about some of the things / ideas that I find as I flip through the pages. These are the notebooks I keep and carry around with me inside my “prop bag” and if an idea hits for something to write about or something for InFamousTV, I write it down and make a note of it in these books, supposedly for future reference. So let’s take a look at some of these ideas and maybe I can get a lock on which ones are worth keeping and which ones should be tossed, never to be seen or thought of again.

Yeppers, my friends. I’m “cleaning out my closet”, in a sense. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Let’s do this.

*****
Flash forward to almost five hours later. It’s now 5:30 in the morning. I was hurting so badly earlier that I decided to put this on hold and go to sleep instead, where I had a nice, restful night of tossing and turning and some weird ass dreams about world domination (no lie). And now, many hours later, I’m back up and my shoulder and back are hurting like I’ve been in a fight and someone whooped the hell out of me. It was probably K-Mak since he texted me at 1:48am and I didn’t return the text. I just saw it like five minutes ago and will return the message in a little while. I want to give him and the family time to be awake before I start texting, rather than text now, wake him up and then be blamed for him being an ill-ass grouch who didn’t get any sleep… lol.

Now what was I going to do? Oh yeah, we’re going through the notebooks (at least one of them) and seeing what hidden treasures are there. And by the way, still no official results on the Pope election either. I’ve got a bag packed and am ready to head to Italy and the Vatican. I’m ready to take over so just give me a call, fellows.

We start off with notes on something called “The Cast”. This is a prepared listing of “truths” about the InfamousTV staff that my main man (and alter ego) Vincent Paul Phillips used in his “war” against them. Just lots of one liners and jokes about me (insults and gay jokes), K-Mak (drinks 417 Red Bulls a day – true, from Sesame Street, picture in post office, etc) and Keri (secret member of KKK, slaps ho’s around, sumo wrestler). Some of the jokes were used and some were not, but it was a fun video to make and gave life to the Vincent Paul Phillips character and a whole series of videos that unfortunately, most of which never were released for public consumption. One day, they will be. Vincent Paul Phillips is too fun a character to portray and he will never, ever go away or die.

I have eight pages of these “notes”. Damn!

Here are some questions for an “Interview with K-Mak” that never happened. Six random questions that make no sense. Might still do this one if we get really bored one night.

Some more notes about Vincent Paul Phillips and some possible editorials and his war against InFamousTV, as well as notes for a “Elmo Is Evil” rant. And yes, Elmo truly is the ultimate personification of pure evil. That, my friends, is very true!

It’s the start of a letter to the man I love. About 3/4 of a page of rambling that I never finished. I miss my man and despite all the naysayers and bullcrap, I do love him more than anyone can ever truly realize. Get over it, haters!

My “rap song” or at least the lyrics for that I wrote for “Part 26” of the original “Thirty Days of Dougie” series. I was going to actually do this rap and show it on YouTube, using a new alter-ego called “Salty D”, but the night we were going to film, my shyness and reluctance to appear on camera and make an ass of myself was shining bright and I couldn’t get it working right. But one day, Salty D will live and this little song I wrote will be performed. And it’s still a thousand times better than anything Little Wayne has done in the past seven or eight years. (Have I mentioned lately that Little Wayne sucks! Well, now I just have!)

We have lots of doodles and drawings on the next few pages. Lots of faces and squares. Good thing that I’m a writer, because I sure as hell ain’t no artist.

More notes for possible future projects including “the rap song”, “hee haw hijinks” (where we do skits from Hee Haw), DJ Salty D promo ideas, a “Save The World” video (making fun of things like USA for Africa), and ideas for a roundtable discussion where myself, K-Mak, Keri and whoever else we can recruit sit and discuss anything and everything.

And the next page has an idea for something called “Poetry Corner” where K-Mak and I read some of our original poetry / writings on camera for the InFamousTV project. I still like that idea, especially since I’ve got notebook after notebook dating back to 1983 of nothing but poetry and song lyrics and things that I’ve written. I’m a pack-rat and don’t throw this stuff away.

A listing of the columns that I’ve written (Tossing Salt – Worldwide News, Six MInutes, Tiger Tales, Wrestling Fact or Fiction), some of my accomplishments (over forty stories published at FanFiction.net) and some of the sites I’ve written for (Wrestle-Zone.coUK, LordsofPain.net, PWInsider.com, TheWrestlingHeadquarters.com). Looks like I was preparing to draw up a resume of sorts or maybe a business card. Who knows?

Two more “false starts” in letters to the sexiest and greatest man alive, with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. I also have lyrics written up for a “where oh where are you tonight” piece for myself and K-Mak to do. Never could talk him into the idea, but it’d be funny and I’m going to keep trying.

A note to do a piece like Junior Samples used to do on Hee Haw, that Little Wayne says that the word “ass” rhymes with the word “ass”, and a quick “Film at 11:00” idea about Cupid being eaten by a pack of wild hyenas. That one must have been written on Valentines Day.

And then we go to the next page which is another false start letter and a couple of Stevie Wonder “Film At 11:00” monologues that are very crude and insulting and politically incorrect. We definitely need to do this stuff.

A few words for a person that I have a helluva strong crush on that I’ll never be able to say to his face. I love my guy (Cal), but this guy makes me so damn horny. He’s a cutie to the max and I just want to jump his bones. Does that make me a bad person? Get the hell over it. I’ve had to.

Some poetic comments about how I hate my life sometimes and can sometimes feel alone in the crowd. It’s some pretty blue and depressing stuff. And there are also some ramblings about North Korea here as well. I think I was thinking about doing a “V.P.P. Rant” about the problems with that crazy little country (and how much I love chinese food).

Lots of bitching and notes about Walt Disney (the second most evil corporation in existence after Wal-Mart) and some ideas about some different clues to their evil ways that I can use in one of my written pieces if I ever decide to tackle that subject (and dare face the wrath of the mouse).

And finally, a basic plot outline for a Dark Shadows fiction crossover with House M.D. that I’ve started working on for FanFiction.net. It’s part of my “Avenging Shadows” universe and has Avengers, X-Men, Barnabas and Quentin Collins, some of my own original characters and Dr. House. I don’t know when it’ll be up at the site, but it’s a story that popped into my head and is just too damn good to not attempt.

And there you go. That’s one notebook (only about 1/3 the way filled) of ideas that I’ve had and scribbled down in my attempts to really get this InFamousTV project off the ground and also have some good future writings and ramblings. Nothing is off limits and I’m here to inform and entertain. I have another notebook that I write in even more often than this one, but I’ll save that for later. I think I’m through for today.

Yeah, I am. My hand hurts and I want to go play on YouTube for a while. So have a great day and I’ll catch you on the flip side.

I’m Doug and I’ll be the next Pope (maybe – maybe not). Have a good one.

Ubuntu!