Wrestling Fact Or Fiction: March 30, 2013

Tossing Salt Presents:  Wrestling Fact Or Fiction
March 30, 2013

So it’s time to sit down once more and talk about the greatest sport in the world, professional wrestling. And rather than do two columns, one with my ramblings and rantings and the other with two weeks of “Fact or Fiction” goodness, I’ve decided to just combine it all into one big package and let the chips fall where they may. There will be another wrestling piece, with match predictions for the TNA pay-per-view Slammiversary, coming up later today as well. You’ve been warned.

A few quick items that I want to discuss very briefly before I get to the “FoF” stuff.

I want to begin by sending my condolences out to to the friends, family and fans of Hector Garza, who passed away due to cancer, earlier this week. Garza was an amazing grappler who had all of the tools. He had a great look, some great moves in the ring and that very special “it” factor. And damn, he was a sexy man. Just after Juvi, he was my favorite “guilty pleasure” in the old WCW days and he definitely will be missed. The world is a much sadder place now.

Also, I want to send out some get-well wishes to “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton, one half of the legendary Midnight Express and truly one of the nicest and most decent people in the wrestling industry. Bobby has been having some heart problems and is currently hospitalized. Here’s to a speedy recovery and the best of health in the months and years to come. And why isn’t Bobby and the rest of the Midnight Express (Stan Lane, Dennis Condrey) in the WWE Hall of Fame yet? Hmmmm? They are definitely worthy. Get well soon, Bobby!

Why hasn’t the WWE reached out to Chris Masters yet and snatched this incredible talent back up? He’s riding high on the publicity from his recent heroics and is more visible and better than ever. The WWE roster is majorly lacking in solid main-event level talents and Masters could be brought in to help fill that void. He’s still extremely young, but he’s that damn good. Sign him up, WWE… soon.

Right now would be a good time to use a transitional champion to get the WWE title away from Cena and eventually back to Punk… or anyone else (besides Ryback) who’s not named Cena. And who better to handle this (and who better deserving of the honor) than William Regal. I’ve been watching a lot of recent Regal matches from NXT (against Ambrose) and the man is still better and more over than 98% of the wrestlers in the WWE, TNA or anywhere else. He should have at least one run with either the WWE or World title on his resume. Now, while everything in the WWE is in a kind of a state of flux, due to Dolph being out due to a concussion and Cena being Cena, with Punk out for at least a few more weeks, give Regal a title run. What would it hurt and I want to see it… NOW!

Let’s move to the Fact or Fiction stuff. The questions were “borrowed” from the past two weeks over at 411mania. The answers, as always, are mine. Let’s do this.

1. Three Stages of Hell with John Cena & Ryback will be an entertaining PPV attraction.

FICTION: I have no desire to see John Cena against anyone and especially not Ryback. Ryback has size and presence, but his in-ring skills leave something to be desired. If it was Miz or Cody or almost anyone else, I’ll probably be interested in this match. Cena is capable of good matches. I’m just burnt out on him. But add Ryback to the mix and my interest just drops to nothing. I could care less about this match.

2. Kane & Daniel Bryan should not turn against each other.

FACT: The Kane / Bryan partnership has grown on me over the past year and I’d like to see it be continued as a kind of Sting / Lex Luger thing where, no matter where their characters are in the mix, they still have a bonding of sorts. Kane and Bryan as the WWE’s version of Superman and Batman? Not always on the same page, but still having a bond? Yes! Yes! Yes!

3. The Shield will have a bad tag team match at some point.

FACT: This is a loaded question because at some point, everyone has a bad match or performance. It’s inevitable. But that being said, I think that the talents of these three men, so long as the WWE creative doesn’t screw things up, will be on or near the top of the card for sometime to come.

4. Sting will never receive another TNA World Title shot after Slammiversary.

FACT: Sting should not be in the title picture now and should not be in the title picture at any point in the future. He’s a “special attraction” for TNA and should be content with letting the younger, full-time talents take care of the title matches and storylines.

5. The new X Division format has made you care more about the title matches & performers involved.

FICTION: This new format sounded interesting in theory, but in actual reality, it sucks! TNA just needs to focus on good matches and good stories – not stupid stipulations that detract from the product. And by the way, when is TNA going to offer to help out Zema Ion with his medical issues? He is their employee and a former X-Division champion after all..

6. The Monster Abyss will appear at Slammiversary.

FICTION: I’m sure his “brother” will be there, but I’m hoping that TNA saves the return of Abyss for something that people might actually watch, like Impact! Use the character where he can make the most, pardon the pun, impact and not at a pay per view that probably won’t do 10,000 buys if they’re lucky.

7. There will be a Match of the Year Candidate at Slammiversary.

FICTION: I doubt it. I don’t even see any matches listed on the event that I’m wanting to see, much less might qualify as a “Match of the Year” possibility.

8. Bray Wyatt will be a main event performer for WWE within the next year.

FACT: I’m loving these promos and I went and watched some of Wyatt’s matches from NXT. The young man has definitely got “it” and the former Husky Harris is ready for prime time. I’m not saying that he will be contending for the WWE or World Championship’s in the next year or so, but the U.S. or IC titles are definitely in his future. I’m sure that his daddy (Mike Rotundo), uncle (Barry Windham) and grandpa (Blackjack Mulligan) are extremely proud.

9. You’re looking forward to the continuation of the John Cena vs. Ryback feud.

FICTION: End this soon… PLEASE!

10. Curtis Axel will get over with Paul Heyman by his side.

FACT: Despite the dumb name, Joe Henning is one of the most talented men on the WWE roster. He has all the tools and having Paul Heyman by his side is just the final piece of the puzzle. Axel is now stablemates with Brock Lesnar and CM Punk. He’s with the big dogs on the porch now and already has victories over HHH and John Cena. The future is looking very bright for this young man.

11. The angle with Triple H at the end of last week’s Raw will lead to something interesting.

FICTION: It’ll lead to HHH coming back and saying that he’s “The Game” and squashing someone. Nobody cares. Go ahead and retire already, HHH. You’re more valuable in the back. Stay there.

12. Antonio Cesaro is boring.

FICTION: He’s not boring in the ring, but his character, as given to him by WWE, is kind of lame. If they’d let him be himself, he could and would get much more over with the WWE Universe. He’s a talented guy, but they have to let him show it.

13. You like Summer Rae as Fandango’s dance partner.

FACT: It’s much better to have one regular person, especially if she’s a wrestler in her own right, as Fandango’s partner rather than bring in new poeple every week. Better potential for future stories and plus, she can take bumps if needed.

14. James Storm’s mystery partner at Slammiversary will not be his former partner in America’s Most Wanted, “Wildcat” Chris Harris.

FACT: Harris and Storm haven’t teamed together in almost seven years, plus the last I heard of Harris, he had become a chunky-monkey. Whoever Storm’s partner ends up being, it’ll be someone with a more recent history with Storm.

15. Matt Hardy should win the ROH Championship.

FICTION: While I’m not disputing Hardy’s talent in the ring, his antics outside the ring have smeared the name and given him a big black mark in the industry. Until he’s proven conclusively that his problems of the past are in the past and he’s clean and ready to fly right, he should not be holding any kind of major championship where his reputation can damage the company.

16. Glenn “Kane” Jacobs should run for political office.

FACT: President Kane? I like the sound of that. And if he doens’t like what his opponent is saying in a debate, he can beat them up or set them on fire. Works for me. ‘Nuff said!

And there you go. I’ve got more to talk about, but the sun is rising and I need to go to bed. Always remember, don’t trust anyone… I’m out of here for now. Catch you later.

Ubuntu!

Shooting Cars And A New Wrestling Faction

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I guess it’s 5:00 somewhere. Why am I awake? I stayed home last night. I went to bed at a decent hour. Well, it was 1:30 in the AM, but that’s a decent hour for me, especially since my usual go to bed time is somewhere between hearing the newspaper guy throw the paper in the driveway and the sounds of a school bus coming to take the parasites to school. But I try to do right and go to bed and all of that stuff (tv was boring) and what happens? I’m wide awake now. Uuugh!

So I guess that means ramble and rant, right? Wow! Trying saying that three times really fast. Ramble and rant right – ramble and rant right – ramble and rant right. Okay, it’s not so hard after all. It just seemed like it’d be harder than it is, but this mouth is used to big things so what’s three little words, right? And I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this. Sounds like a tongue twister turned to innuendo turned to epic fail. Oops! Moving on.

We had a gun shooting incident at work the other day. I think it was Tuesday afternoon. It all happened on first shift and the details are a bit sketchy as of yet. I’ve heard what my fellow employees have had to say about it and I read the paper on Wednesday, just like everyone else. So people are pissed off about something to do with a child custody case and decide, when they see the person that they don’t like, they decide to shoot at them? I would say “only in Laurinburg”, but people today are crazy and stupid and a bunch of idiotic ass-clowns. If all of the gibberish I’m hearing is even partially true, I’ve got news for the “alleged shooters”. Trying to pump a nigga full of lead in the parking lot of a Nic’s Pic Kwik during the middle of the day is NOT going to help you win custody of a child. All you did was shoot a car and make yourself into a wanted fugitive. Dumb ass! And to really make it bad, since you supposed to be all anti-popo and “f*ck the police” and all of that garbage, you also gave a couple of cops a nice pay-day off the clock for sitting up at the store and being “security” for a few days. So you missed the one you were shooting at and just messed up a car, drew attention to yourself and are now having to run from the law, totally f*cked up any chances of your family ever winning whatever custody problems you were having and put money into the pockets of the police officers.

If being a moronic ass-clown was a place and job, you’d be King Moronic Ass-Clown of Moronic Ass-Clownabia. Dumb ass!

I had an idea for a wrestling faction last night. Yes, I’m going to get in a small piece of this ramble about the world’s greatest sport. I am an “internet wrestling journalist” (whatever the hell that is) after all. I want an anti-establishment group of heels that secure the guidance of a mentor or manager and fight to “beat the system” and get respect in the WWE because they’ve been overlooked and treated like crap by the WWE “powers that be” and they’re tired of it. This is kind of like the Shield seeking justice, but still different enough that it could be a rival gang instead.

First I’d have Christian approach former tag team partner and current NXT announcer William Regal and after cutting the fool for a few minutes, have Christian suggest that he’s been over-looked and ignored by the WWE powers-that-be and suggest that Regal, who has also been relegated to being an announcer even though he’s one of the best in-ring performers of all tme, act as his mouth-piece and manager and that they form an alliance of themselves and other individuals who deserve to be at the top of the food chain in the WWE, but are held back by politics, conspiracies and people like John Cena. Regal agrees and then we have two.

Then we see over the next few weeks as Regal and Christian approach Zack Ryder and bring up how he did everything he was supposed to do to get himself over, but has been buried by WWE management as a result. They suggest that Ryder join their alliance and he agrees.

Next up is Alex Riley. He was so big and so hot and was getting over like a mo-fo, due to his feud with Miz. And then…. he was pulled from TV and vanished due to whatever reasons. We still don’t know. But the guy has all the tools to be big and to be a solid mid-card player. He’s asked to join the alliance and he agrees. Now there are four.

We see them approach Michael McGillicutty. He’s the son of “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig. Why the hell is he working matches on the c-shows and being forced to use that stupid name? He deserves better. He deserves respect. And lo and behold, Joe Hennig agrees and we have five.

And why stop there. Let’s add one more name, for “star power” to the group. He’s “The Worlds Strongest Man” Mark Henry. He’s a former World Champion, but he still gets disrespected. Rather than do as he has and just keep beating people up, not that there’s anything wrong with that, why not be part of a group and demand respect. It could keep Henry strong and in the spotlight, but allow his in-ring schedule to be cut nearly in half and help prevent any injuries, thus extending his career and effectiveness.

So picture this group: Christian, Zack Ryder, Alex Riley, Joe Hennig and Mark Henry, led by the ever-so-dangerous William Regal. Give them a catchy name, like “Excalibur” and they can be tweener characters just looking for justice and respect and they don’t care who they have to run over and take out to do it. Christian and Henry could go after Cena and Ziggler for the main titles. Hennig and Ryder could go after Kofi or maybe Team Hell No for the U.S. or tag titles and Riley could re-start his feud with Miz. Regal could handle the promos, much like J.J. Dillion did for the Horsemen back in the day and we could see feuds with the other groups like 3MB, Ziggler’s gang, and eventually The Shield.

I promise you that if a group like this was to be created, it would not only get over big time with the fans, but would also immediately jump start the careers of all six of these men, give the WWE some instant credible main-event players. People would be going nW who? Four Horse who? Evolutwho? Dungeon of Who?

Okay, maybe not all that big, but it would work and create instant gang warfare all over the WWE. It’s a valid idea with several valid players just ready to step up and be used correctly. Hey Vince, just do it.

And guess what? Now I’m tired again. I’m going to bed (again). Have a great day. Thoughts and comments are welcome.

Ubuntu!

Shooting Cars And A New Wrestling Faction

It’s 4:30 in the morning and I guess it’s 5:00 somewhere. Why am I awake? I stayed home last night. I went to bed at a decent hour. Well, it was 1:30 in the AM, but that’s a decent hour for me, especially since my usual go to bed time is somewhere between hearing the newspaper guy throw the paper in the driveway and the sounds of a school bus coming to take the parasites to school. But I try to do right and go to bed and all of that stuff (tv was boring) and what happens? I’m wide awake now. Uuugh!

So I guess that means ramble and rant, right? Wow! Trying saying that three times really fast. Ramble and rant right – ramble and rant right – ramble and rant right. Okay, it’s not so hard after all. It just seemed like it’d be harder than it is, but this mouth is used to big things so what’s three little words, right? And I have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this. Sounds like a tongue twister turned to innuendo turned to epic fail. Oops! Moving on.

We had a gun shooting incident at work the other day. I think it was Tuesday afternoon. It all happened on first shift and the details are a bit sketchy as of yet. I’ve heard what my fellow employees have had to say about it and I read the paper on Wednesday, just like everyone else. So people are pissed off about something to do with a child custody case and decide, when they see the person that they don’t like, they decide to shoot at them? I would say “only in Laurinburg”, but people today are crazy and stupid and a bunch of idiotic ass-clowns. If all of the gibberish I’m hearing is even partially true, I’ve got news for the “alleged shooters”. Trying to pump a nigga full of lead in the parking lot of a Nic’s Pic Kwik during the middle of the day is NOT going to help you win custody of a child. All you did was shoot a car and make yourself into a wanted fugitive. Dumb ass! And to really make it bad, since you supposed to be all anti-popo and “f*ck the police” and all of that garbage, you also gave a couple of cops a nice pay-day off the clock for sitting up at the store and being “security” for a few days. So you missed the one you were shooting at and just messed up a car, drew attention to yourself and are now having to run from the law, totally f*cked up any chances of your family ever winning whatever custody problems you were having and put money into the pockets of the police officers.

If being a moronic ass-clown was a place and job, you’d be King Moronic Ass-Clown of Moronic Ass-Clownabia. Dumb ass!

I had an idea for a wrestling faction last night. Yes, I’m going to get in a small piece of this ramble about the world’s greatest sport. I am an “internet wrestling journalist” (whatever the hell that is) after all. I want an anti-establishment group of heels that secure the guidance of a mentor or manager and fight to “beat the system” and get respect in the WWE because they’ve been overlooked and treated like crap by the WWE “powers that be” and they’re tired of it. This is kind of like the Shield seeking justice, but still different enough that it could be a rival gang instead.

First I’d have Christian approach former tag team partner and current NXT announcer William Regal and after cutting the fool for a few minutes, have Christian suggest that he’s been over-looked and ignored by the WWE powers-that-be and suggest that Regal, who has also been relegated to being an announcer even though he’s one of the best in-ring performers of all tme, act as his mouth-piece and manager and that they form an alliance of themselves and other individuals who deserve to be at the top of the food chain in the WWE, but are held back by politics, conspiracies and people like John Cena. Regal agrees and then we have two.

Then we see over the next few weeks as Regal and Christian approach Zack Ryder and bring up how he did everything he was supposed to do to get himself over, but has been buried by WWE management as a result. They suggest that Ryder join their alliance and he agrees.

Next up is Alex Riley. He was so big and so hot and was getting over like a mo-fo, due to his feud with Miz. And then…. he was pulled from TV and vanished due to whatever reasons. We still don’t know. But the guy has all the tools to be big and to be a solid mid-card player. He’s asked to join the alliance and he agrees. Now there are four.

We see them approach Michael McGillicutty. He’s the son of “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig. Why the hell is he working matches on the c-shows and being forced to use that stupid name? He deserves better. He deserves respect. And lo and behold, Joe Hennig agrees and we have five.

And why stop there. Let’s add one more name, for “star power” to the group. He’s “The Worlds Strongest Man” Mark Henry. He’s a former World Champion, but he still gets disrespected. Rather than do as he has and just keep beating people up, not that there’s anything wrong with that, why not be part of a group and demand respect. It could keep Henry strong and in the spotlight, but allow his in-ring schedule to be cut nearly in half and help prevent any injuries, thus extending his career and effectiveness.

So picture this group: Christian, Zack Ryder, Alex Riley, Joe Hennig and Mark Henry, led by the ever-so-dangerous William Regal. Give them a catchy name, like “Excalibur” and they can be tweener characters just looking for justice and respect and they don’t care who they have to run over and take out to do it. Christian and Henry could go after Cena and Ziggler for the main titles. Hennig and Ryder could go after Kofi or maybe Team Hell No for the U.S. or tag titles and Riley could re-start his feud with Miz. Regal could handle the promos, much like J.J. Dillion did for the Horsemen back in the day and we could see feuds with the other groups like 3MB, Ziggler’s gang, and eventually The Shield.

I promise you that if a group like this was to be created, it would not only get over big time with the fans, but would also immediately jump start the careers of all six of these men, give the WWE some instant credible main-event players. People would be going nW who? Four Horse who? Evolutwho? Dungeon of Who?

Okay, maybe not all that big, but it would work and create instant gang warfare all over the WWE. It’s a valid idea with several valid players just ready to step up and be used correctly. Hey Vince, just do it.

And guess what? Now I’m tired again. I’m going to bed (again). Have a great day. Thoughts and comments are welcome.

Ubuntu!

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: Extreme Rules Predictions

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: Extreme Rules
May 16, 2013

Coming up on Sunday night, it’s the WWE and their “Extreme Rules” pay per view. So that means it’s time to break out the crystal ball and do some predictions. Yeppers, that’s what we’re going to do. And away we go…

*WWE champ John Cena vs. Ryback – Last Man Standing.

The only thing I can think of that would be worse than having John Cena retain the WWE Championship would be having Ryback win it. He sucks… badly! The man is physically imposing, but he can’t talk, can’t wrestle and can’t realy generate any kind of heat. I see it and most of the so-called WWE Universe sees it too. I just hope that Vince can see it. Cena retains the title and continues to suck the life out of the WWE Championship until SummerSlam and the (hopeful) return of CM Punk.

Winner and STILL WWE Champion: John Cena

*Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar – Steel Cage.

Triple H won at Wrestlemania and if he wins twice in a row, then they may as well just stick a fork in Brock and send him to NXT or something. He’s done. So Brock won their first battle, HHH won the second and here, in the rubber match, it’s time to shout “Here comes the pain!”. Brock takes the very brutal trip to the pay window with a big win.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

*Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger – I Quit Match.

If Dolph can’t compete due to injury, then he should be strippe of the title and this match between Del Rio and Swagger should be for the World Championship. But not in the WWE (this week) so instead of a title match, we get an “I Quit” match. I think I’d rather watch Ricardo versus Zeb than Del Rio versus Swagger, but whatever. Swagger is still getting a bit of a push, but Del Rio is the one that the WWE sees a big future in. Del Rio takes the arm and makes Swagger tap.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

*WWE United States champ Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose.

A member of The Shield as the United States Champion? Hell, that sounds like a plan to me. Make it happen. I think it will.

Winner and NEW United States Champion: Dean Ambrose

*WWE Tag Team champions Team Hell No vs. The Shield. – Tornado Rules.

And now we have the tag titles on the line. I would love to see The Shield walk out with all the gold, but I don’t think it will happen yet. Team Hell No still has some life left in them and as much as I’d rather see Bryan and Kane go their seperate ways and see Bryan back in the WWE / World title picture, I don’t see a title loss here yet. Look for a DQ finish as Ambrose comes down to lend aid to his Shield comrades.

Winners by DQ and Still Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No

*Miz vs. Cody Rhodes.

The Miz is awesome. Cody has a great mustache. And right now, both are extremely low on the WWE food chain so no one gives a damn about what could be possibly the best match, from a pure wrestling standpoint, on the card. Let’s flip a coin. Heads! Miz wins.

Winner: Miz

*Big Show vs. Randy Orton – Extreme Rules.

Lots of plunder. Lots ofstiff spots. Lots of craziness. And a win by the deranged deserter with the RKO. He’s back in the main event scene again. And the Viper is biting hard.

Winner: Randy Orton

*Sheamus vs. Mark Henry – Strap Match.

This brings back memories of the classic Greg Valentine – Wahoo McDaniel days. Oh, I guess that’s before your time. Snoogins… lol. It’s got an old school feel and could be a pretty good match. I know it will be stiff and both Sheamus and Mark Henry will be feeling it for days afterwards. Henry doesn’t need to win. Sheamus does. So give this one to the walking jar of mayo.

Winner: Sheamus

*Chris Jericho vs. Fandango.

Fandango won at Wrestlemania so Jericho takes this one downtown to Chinatown. Fozzy rules and Jericho is the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla. But it won’t be a clean finish so Fandango takes a walk during the middle of the match and gets counted out. Yep, that’ll work.

Winner (by count-out) – Chris Jericho

And there you go. My predictions for WWE Extreme Rules, coming up on Sunday night. Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I doing the Fandango? Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated.

Ubuntu!

Wrestling Fact Or Fiction – May 16, 2013

Wrestling Fact Or Fiction – May 16, 2013

While I’m on a roll tonight (translated: TV sucks and I can’t sleep), I decided to do another quick piece on the wrestling stuff, thus keeping my status as an “internet wrestling journalist” (whatever the hell that is) and “pro wrestling’s most eclectic columnist” alive. And this time, borrowed from the pages of 411mania.com (but the answers are all mine), it’s “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”. Let’s do this.

1. WWE has done a good job building the Extreme Rules PPV.

FACT: They’ve promoted the card heavily and it actually seems like it matters, rather than just being the “pay per view after Wrestlemania”. There are some interesting matches and stipulations and it’s actually managed to get my interest. Seeing John Cena as the WWE Champion and not having CM Punk available (or the new World Champion Dolph Ziggler for that matter) has hurt the WWE in making a great card that will draw fans, but they have certainly been working hard and trying (for a change). Kudos for that.

2. The Shield will win the US & Tag Team Titles at Extreme Rules.

FACT: Let the Shield have some dominance with the gold for a while. The Kane / Bryan team of Hell No has ran it’s course in my opinion and no one cares about the U.S. title anyhow. Maybe the Shield as champs will generate some interest in those belts.

3. The Chris Jericho/Fandango Dance Off was an effective way to open this week’s Raw.

FACT: They got the cheezy stuff over with quickly and ended up with a really good segment by Jericho and Fandango. It worked for me and I liked it.

4. WWE Saturday Morning Slam will return for a second season.

FACT: This show attracts kids and kids mean money. So yeppers, WWE will keep it going as long as they can.

5. TNA moving Impact to 9:00 on Thursday nights will help their ratings.

FICTION: There may be a short spike at first, but the TNA audience will stay pretty much where it is until they find that perfect angle and new star and no change in time slot will fix that.

6. You’re excited about the return of Abyss.

Fiction: He’s the love child of Kane and Mankind. Didn’t care for him before and don’t care for him now. Yawn!

7. Austin Aries should be punished for sticking his crotch in Christy Hemme’s face on last week’s Impact.

FICTION: Hemme screwed up the introduction and didn’t fix it even though she had ample time. Aries is a heel and reacted in a heel manner, in character to help save the segment from Hemme’s flub. I’ve seen Hemme, back in her wrestling days, give people bronco busters (also known as the “face full of stuff”) and it’s part of the show and the business. Maybe Aries shouldn’t have stuck his crotch in her face, but he was reacting to her mistake and trying to save the segment. Hell, he can stick his crotch in my face anytime… lol. Hemme needs to grow up and get over it. If she’s really that upset, an apology by Aries should be sufficent. Any other type of punishment is over-reacting and just plain dumb!

8. Jay Briscoe should stay off the Twitter machine.

FACT: Learn to think before you speak or else don’t expose your ignorance in a public forum like Twitter. I’m all for free speech, but if you say something stupid, be prepared to face the consequences. I know I’ve had to more than once for things I’ve said in these columns and in my writing. Briscoe should do his talking in the ring, via his wrestling. And if he wants to do the Twitter thing, he just needs to turn that little self-censor on. It’s not always fun to do, but it is often necessary.

And there you go. Another week of “Wrestling Fact or Fiction” is finished and ready for delivery. I’m going to bed now. Have a great night and I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: Super Card – May 16, 2013

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News

“Super Card”
May 16, 2013

Yeah, I know it’s been a while since I’ve sat down and rambled for a bit about the world’s greatest sport, but better late than never, right? I came across a question, asked by a gentleman named Stu Art, in the wrestling group that I belong to on Facebook called “Kult of Kayfabe”. It’s a good question and rather than answer on the Facebook page, I decided to do it the right way. The “Tossing Salt” way. Just like Sinatra, I’m doing it my way. Let’s do this…

Stu Art asks, “If you had an opportunity to do a “dream card” with people wrestling today what would it be? Only condition is it cant be more than 7 matches long and bear in mind they would be wrestling in their current health and state.”

This question kind of stumped me at first because the only wrestling I manage to watch anymore is generally RAW (I DVR it) and I’m not really a big fan of today’s product. I’m a fan of “old-school” wrestling and most of the wrestlers I’d love to see perform and would use in a super-card are older, generally retired or semi-retired and not really of appeal to the modern day “sports-entertainment” fans. I do like a few people though and while this will be strong on WWE and TNA names, I’ve decided to give it a shot and see what I can do to answer this question.

So we’re looking at a “wrestling dream card” with seven matches maximum and the superstars involved would be in their current health and state of being. Okay, here we go.

World Championship Match
Two Out Of Three Falls
CM Punk versus William Regal

Street Fight
Timber The Lumberjack w/ Joey Nuggs versus Michael Youngblood

Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman versus Samoa Joe

Chris Jericho, Charlie Haas and “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels versus Austin Aries, James Storm and Bobby Roode

Four Corners Tag Team Elimination Match
The Main Attraction (Scott Powers & Chris Steele) versus BD Productions (Derk Douglas & Brad Branson) versus Ethan Storm & Cham Pain versus Carlito Colon & Chris Masters

Kharma & Tara (Victoria) versus Beth Phoenix & Natayla – Special Referee: Lita

Hell In A Cell
The Undertaker versus Matt Morgan

And there you go. And I can already see a lot of naysayers scratching their heads about my “card” and some of the folks I’ve included. Well, let’s run down the matches and I’ll explain why I picked each one and the participants involved.

The main event is CM Punk versus William Regal. It’s pretty obvious that Punk is the “name” that will draw fans and put the butts in the seats. Regal is just one of the most well-rounded and talented men in the world of professional wrestling. It would be a great match to watch and the two out of three falls stipulation is to pretty much give us three great matches for the price of one.

The street fight between Timber and Mike Youngblood is simply two men who I know (one casually, one very well) and they have great chemistry together and bring out the very best in each other when they wrestle. They’d try to steal the show and could very well do so with the great action (and shenanigans) that these men are very capable of.

Brock Lesnar versus Samoa Joe would just be a brutal, stiff and fun match to watch.

The six man tag between Jericho and friends versus Beer Money and Aries would pit the three most talented and charismatic men in TNA (in my opinion) against probably the best “sports entertainer” in the business right now with Jericho and one of my personal favorites, Charlie Haas, along with Daniels, who is simply amazing at what he does.

The “Four Corners” match would give my three favorite tag teams (all friends), who are also some of the most amazing and talented performers that I’ve ever had the chance to watch wrestle a chance to strut their stuff and showcase their talents. As for Carlito, I miss watching him perform and Chris Masters is probably the hottest guy in the world right now who’s not part of either TNA or the WWE. He and Carlito made a great tag team in the WWE and this match, with the skills and talents of all the men involved, would be a clinic in tag team wrestling.

The women’s tag match consist of four of the biggest names and best ladies currently in wrestling. Get Lita to be the ref to add some “star power” and let these ladies all do what they do best… wrestle.

And the Hell in A Cell match is the Undertaker’s special match. After Wrestlemania, it’s his major claim to fame. Matt Morgan is big enough, good enough and talented enough to not only push Taker to the limit, but take him down. It would be one helluva match to see.

And that’s it. My “super-card”. Maybe it’s not the “big names” that everyone would be expecting, but with this card and these talents, I can promise you that this would be a show that, from match 1 to match 7, would entertain and keep the fans excited and interested. It would be that damn good! And yeah, it would put butts in the seats. I’d pay to see it.

And on that note, I’m out of here for now. Got things to do and a bed that keeps calling my name. I’m Doug and thank you for reading. I do appreciate it. Comments and questions are welcome.

Until the next time, “dat is all de’ people need to know!”.

Ubuntu!

Customer Service

I was at work the other night when one of my co-workers made an observation. She asked “Do you ever look at the customers?”. I just kind of laughed and asked her to clarify. And she responded that I glance at the customers, then look mainly at the register and the money and the merchandise as I bag it up. I just laughed and made some kind of joke that I’m all about speed and getting the customers out and not socializing or making small talk.

And then a couple of nights ago, a customer noted the same thing. She bought some scratch-off tickets and then came back to cash them in (she won lots of money – congratulations!) – and when I cashed her tickets in for her, she asked me if I even remembered selling them to her. And yes, I did. It had only been ten minutes earlier and I think I surprised her by recounting exactly how much money she spent and everything that she had purchased a few minutes earlier, including her scratch off tickets, the pack of Newport 100’s in the box and the ice cup. She remarked that it seemed to her that I was only paying attention to my register and money and not the customers.

And so I started to think about it. And you know what? Those two, making those observations, are totally correct.

I generally don’t give the customer that I’m waiting on more than a passing glance or two (to make sure that they’re legal and old enough to buy whatever it is that they’re purchasing) and to see if I know them. I’m about speed and being professional, being polite, but hurrying the sale along so I can move on to the next customer and take care of business as quickly as possible.

Of course, there are exceptions. If it’s a good looking guy, I’ll take my time and provide plenty of eye contract and be sure to glance over (and admire) every inch of their sexiness. And if it’s someone I actually like or am friends with, I’ll slow down and talk for a moment or two before moving on to the next customer. But those are few and far between and generally, I’m all about speed and precision, being professional and polite, but nothing breaks my stride and it’s take care of the sale, take care of the customer and move on. That’s just me and how I am.

But anyhow, back to my rambling monologue. Tonight, at work, these observations were on my mind and I decided to slow down for a few minutes and actually look at my customers while I wait on them. Make the small talk and be friendly as well as professional.

Well, I looked at many, many, many of the faces that come into my store regularly. I saw details and expressions and emotions I’ve never seen before. And I realized something. There are some ugly ass-clowns that come into that store. There are some attractive folks as well, but for the most part… let’s just say I was not impressed. I think I was better off just taking the money and keeping the eye contact to a bare minimum. How would I describe some of these faces? Most are kind of plain or average, but then you have some that look like Frankenstein’s face after he just realized he stepped in dog crap and an M-16 stuffed up his nose to explode. Oh yeah, and with a bucket of vomit dumped over his head. Yeah… not even fugly because all the drugs in the world would make you want to have sex with these people. Bleh!

So bottom line is, if you’re an attractive male or a friend of mine… or just plain interesting and cool, I’ll look up and look at you. But for the rest, it’s just take the money, give them a glance to check for legality and get them the hell out. So far as eye contact and personal interaction goes, three words. “Don’t do deet!”… And believe me, I won’t!