All In The Family: New Neighbors

Archie and Edith Bunker have some new neighbors. Archie is NOT having a good day. All In The Family Fan Fiction story.  What can I say – an idea popped into my head and I was bored… lol.

-Doug

 

Archie Bunker walked into his home and slammed the door.

“Edith, I’m home!”

Edith Bunker came running from the kitchen, wrapping her arms around her husband and kissing him repeatedly on the cheek.

“Archie, how was your day!”

“Get off me, you dingbat! I’m tired and I need a beer!”

“Aw”, Edith sighed. “I’ll get your beer, Archie”, she smiled.

As Edith went into the kitchen to get Archie a beer, he continued to talk.

“It was rough at work today. Ol’ Stetch Cunningham didn’t come in and I had to work his job too!”

“I’m sorry Archie”, Edith said as she walked back into the room, handing him a cool beer. “Why wasn’t Stretch there? Was he sick?”

“Nah”, Archie complained. “Something about something… I don’t know! He’s gonna be out all week though!”

“I hope he’s okay”, Edith said, worringly.

“Aw, Stretch will be okay! He’s the funniest man I know! You know that, Edith?”

“Yeah, I know”, Edith agreed.

“So when’s dinner gonna be ready?”, Archie asked. “I’m starving over here?”

“It won’t be long. I heard some good news today?”, Edith answered.

“Good news?”, Archie asked. “What? Did Gloria finally decide to dump the meathead?”

“Archie, that isn’t nice”, Edith said disaprovingly.

“Yeah, we wouldn’t be that lucky”, Archie sighed. “So what’s the news?”

“We’re getting new neighbors”, Edith smiled. “A new family is moving into the Jefferson house.”

“Not no more coloreds, are they?”, Archie asked suspiciously.

“Archie?”, Edith started to say, but Archie cut her off.

“Louise was okay and I like Lionel… he got a smart mouth sometimes, but he’s a good kid. But that George Jefferson…”

“I miss George and Louise”, Edith said sadly.

“Yeah, I know you do”, Archie sighed. “But what about the new neighbors? Who are they?”

“Well, I met the young girl today. Her name is Marilyn and she said it’s her, her Aunt and Uncle, her grandfather and her cousin?”

“One of ‘dem there extended famila’s, huh!”, Archie said.

“She’s a beautiful girl, blond haired and very polite. I think her and Gloria could be good friends.”

“What’s their name?”, Archie asked.

“Munder or Munker… no, that’s not right. Oh yeah, Munster”, Edith said.

“Is that Italian?”, Archie asked.

“I don’t know”, Edith replied. “But Marilyn seemed really sweet. From what she explained, it’s just temporary. There was some kind of accident at their home and it’s being fixed and they’re moving next door until the repairs are done.”

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it!”, Edith said, jumping up and rushing towards the door. She opened the door and greeted the young woman standing there.

“Come in”, Edith said. “Archie, this is our new neighbor, Marilyn. And Marilyn, this is my husband, Archie Bunker.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Bunker”, Marilyn said. “You’ve got a wonderful wife.”

“Yeah, she’s a hoot!”, Archie muttered.

“I was just telling Archie about you and your family moving in next door”, Edith smiled. “What can we do for you?”

“Well, my Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman just arrived a few minutes ago. Grandpa and Eddie, my cousin, will be here tomorrow. But Aunt Lily was starting to fix dinner and realized she forgot to get any eggs from the supermarket. So I was hoping we could borrow a couple of eggs until tomorrow?”

“No problem”, Edith smiled. “I’ve got an extra carton in the icebox. I’ll go get them for you!”

“Thank you so much”, Marilyn smiled.

As Edith went to the kitchen, there was a knock on the door. Archie walked over and answered and there, in the door, stood a man, seven feet tall, with a flat head, green skin and bolts sticking out of his neck.

“Hi neighbor!”, the giant man bellowed. “My name is Herman Munster and I was looking for my niece, Marilyn.”

Archie just stood there, speechless, as the big man stood there grinning at him.

“Good Lord almighty!”, he finally muttered.

Marilyn called out to the man, “Hi Uncle Herman!”

“Marilyn, your Aunt Lily told me to tell you that she found the eggs. Grandpa had packed them with his portable lab equipment.”

“Oh, okay”, Marilyn smiled. “Mr. Bunker, this is my Uncle Herman.”

“Good lord almighty!”, Archie said once more as the huge man reached over and shook his hand.

“How are you doing, Mr. Bunker”, Herman bellowed once more.

“You’re… tall”, Archie said, looking for the right words.

“I was well buillt”, Herman laughed.

Edith came waling back into the room from the kitchen, carrying a carton of eggs.

“I found them”, she said. “Did I hear voices in…”

Edith stopped at the sight of Herman Munster, standing there in her living room.

“Mrs. Bunker”, Marilyn said with a smile. “This is my Uncle Herman. He came over to tell me that my Aunt Lily found her eggs. So I won’t need to borrow any.”

“Oh”, Edith smiled weakly, still staring at Herman. “That’s nice!”

“Uncle Herman, this is Mrs. Bunker”, Marily said to her Uncle.

“Always a pleasure to meet a beautiful woman”, Herman said as he politely shook Edith’s hand.

“You’re… tall”, Edith stammered out, unsure of what to say.

“Thank you”, Herman said.

“So as I was saying, Mrs. Bunker, my Aunt Lily found her eggs so we won’t need to borrow any. Thank you so much though.”

Pulling herself together, Edith smiled at the young blonde woman.

“No problem. If you change your mind and need them, just let me know!”

“I will Mrs. Bunker”, Marilyn smiled.

“And we need to get back over to the house”, Herman spoke up. “Lily is preparing dinner and if we’re late, she can be a real monster.”

“Her too?”, Archie muttered, but no one seemed to notice.

“Okay, Uncle Herman”, Marilyn smiled. “Thank you Mrs. Bunker. Mr. Bunker.”

“Nice meeting you folks”, Herman said as he and his niece exited out the front door.

As the door closed, Archie turned to Edith.

“What the hell was that?”, Archie asked.

“He was tall!”, Edith said.

“He had freakin’ green skin”, Archie said.

“Maybe he has a condition?”, Edith asked.

“He had bolts coming out of neck”, Archie pointed out.

“A fashion statement?”, Edith asked.

“Our new neighbors are monsters Edith… They’re monsters!”

“Nah, their last name is Munster… with a U”, Edith remarked.

“Shut up, you dingbat!”, Archie sighed. “My daughter married a meathead, my wife is a dingbat and now we got monsters living next door!”

“Munsters, not monsters”, Edith repeated.

“Could things really get any worse?”, Archie sighed.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it”, Edith squealed as she ran towards the door.

Edith opened up the door.

“Who is it?”, Archie asked.

“It’s Cousin Maude”, Edith screamed happily.

“Maude?”, Archie said, a look of disgust covering his face.

Archie turned and looked and there was Edith’s cousin, Maude, standing in the door way, two suitcases next to her.

“Archie, quit looking stupid and get my luggage”, Maude said. “Walter is an idiot and I’m staying with you and Edith.”

“What?”, Archie yelled as Edith smiled.

“But of course”, Edith said. “You’re always welcome here, Maude. Wait until you meet our new neighbors!”

“No, no, no, no, no!”, Archie kept saying.

“Archie, stifle!”, Maude said. “Put my bags in the guest room and I’ll go help Edith get dinner ready.”

Archie stood there, turning red and at a loss for words.

“How can this day get any worse?”, he muttered finally.

“Archie, you’re out of beer”, Maude yelled from the kitchen.

“Oh vey”, Archie muttered again as he sat in his chair.

“First monsters and now Maude! Next thing you know, ol’ Jefferson is going come knocking at the door!”

And suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

“Lord, no!”, Archie sighed. “Please, no!”

The End…

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II and SummerSlam Predictions

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
August 20, 2016
Doug Maynard

I’m Doug – how you doing? Are you ready for some predictions? It’s the WWE’s biggest weekend of the summer and they have taken over Brooklyn, New York. Tonight is the show, NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II and tomorrow night, it’s the hot weather equivalent to Wrestlemania… it’s WWE SummerSlam 2016… There’s no time for love, Mr. Jones. Let’s get right to it.
Coming up tonight at the Barclay Center in Brooklyn, New York is NXT: Takeover Brooklyn II. It’s a big show for the NXT brand and the WWE. Of course, that means predictions, right? Well, Sister Cleo died a few weeks ago and Jeanne Dixon has been dead for decades so I guess we’re stuck with channeling Gary Spivey now. Where is a good fortune telling psychic when you need one? Let’s look at the matches and pick some winners and losers. Let’s do this…

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II – Thoughts and Predictions…

NXT Championship Match
Samoa Joe (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

The build has been excellent and I expect this match will be pretty damn awesome as well. Nakamura ia a big star and huge deal just waiting to bust out and Joe… his reputation speaks for itself. He kills bitches dead! As much as I like Nakamura and expect many big things from him in the future, I think it’s too early to put the NXT strap on his waist though. Unless the WWE is planning to move Joe up to the main roster (and who wouldn’t like to see Joe versus Owens or Joe versus Brock?), his reign as the NXT Champion still has plenty of ways to go. It’ll be a good match and go above and beyond, but I think Samoa Joe will retain his title when the smoke clears.

Winner and STILL NXT Champion: Samoa Joe

NXT Women’s Championship Match
Asuka (c) vs. Bayley

This is probably the match I’m most looking forward to. Asuka is just amazing in my eyes and is well on the way to approaching “Ivory status”. Yes, I like her that much. And Bayley is a just awesome in her own right and is the next big breakout star for NXT whenever they decide to move her up to the main roster. I wouldn’t switch the title and think Asuka should retain, but I’m not the man booking this match. WWE is going to want at least one title change tonight and I think this will be it. The “feel good moment” of the evening. Look for Bayley to take a beating, but come back at the end for the win and the title.

Winner and NEW NXT Women’s Champion: Bayley

NXT Tag Team Championship Match
The Revival (c) vs. Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa

The Revival are doing a great job as champions and it’s too soon to have them drop the belts. No new champions here. The big story for this match is whether Gargano and Ciampa will still be a team at the end of the night. They’ve been teasing issues between the two men for several weeks now and I’m thinking that when / if Gargano and Ciampa lose the match and fail to get the titles, we’re going to see discord and chaos and probably a turn by one of the men. It’s just a theory at this point, but we’ll see. Anyhow, look for the Revival to retain the tag team gold.

Winners and STILL NXT Tag Team Champions: The Revival

Andrade “Cien” Almas vs. Bobby Roode

Andrade Almas is another talent that I see a big future in. He’s charismatic and exciting and really seems to connect with the fans. But that being said, he seems to have lost a little bit of his fire since his debut a few months ago. He’s still hot, but the flame seems to be flickering a bit here and there. And he’s facing Bobby Roode. ‘Nuff said! It’ll be another damn good match, but in the end, look for Roode to walk out with his arm raised as he takes that trip to the pay window.

Winner: Bobby Roode

No Way Jose vs. Austin Aries

No Way Jose is… okay, I don’t really get him or see what’s so special about the character. But admittingly, I’ve only seen him perform a couple of times so far so what do I know, right? Jose is facing Austin Aries and Aries is an amazing talent and great heel. He won’t be hurt by a loss and can use it to get over even more if that’s possible. Jose is a currrent NXT favorite and he’ll walk out with the win. Why? I don’t know, but he will. No way? Yes way!

Winner: No Way Jose

Ember Moon vs. Billie Kaye

Ember Moon is making her debut and the company is said to be very high on this young woman. Billie Kaye is said to be a tough lady and this should be a good match, but is there any real doubt to who the winner will be? I don’t think so.

Winner: Ember Moon

And there you go. Now, let’s move on and check out the big show (no, not the wrestler). I’m talking SummerSlam…

It’s WWE SummerSlam. It’s the biggest event of the summer and they have really packed the card, which will run over six hours between the Kick-Off Show and the actual event itself. A lot of action and a lot of great wrestling action, no doubt. And more predictions as well. It looks as if they’re trying to get the entire roster on the show. Well, at least the ones who aren’t suspended for Wellness violations… lol Let’s do this…

WWE SummerSlam 2016 Thoughts and Predictions…

Carmella & Becky Lynch & Naomi vs. Eva Marie & Natalya & Alexa Bliss.

Eva Marie is out due to a Wellness violation so this match will either be dropped, turned into a handicap match or there will be a substitution. I’ll go for the latter and predict a substitution. It could be Nikki Bella since she’s been cleared to return to the ring, but I don’t think they’ll waste her return on a match like this where she’d be lost in the shuffle. It’ll probably be Alicia Fox or Summer Rae filling in. And no one will really notice the difference or care. Naomi just debuted a new look and Becky is the top girl for Smackdown right now so I’ll give the nod to the Carmella, Lynch and Naomi team to take home the win.

Winners: Carmella, Becky Lynch and Naomi

WWE World champion Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler.

I keep hearing that Ambrose has some heat with management due to the Steve Austin podcast so that may be a factor here, plus Ambrose as the WWE Champion, to me, just isn’t really all that or cutting it. He’s just kind of… ‘eh! Would Ziggler do a better job if given the opportunity to run with the ball? Who knows because he’s never really ever been given the chance. I’m hoping that WWE decides that now is the time and place and gives Dolph the opportunity he deserves.

Winner and NEW WWE World Champion: Dolph Ziggler

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton.

If Heath Slater does NOT get involved in some way, shape or form, we riot! Just saying. As for this match, it should be good and stiff and all of the stuff we’ve come to expect from Brock Lesnar matches. I don’t think that Randy Orton is coming back from almost a year on the shelf to lose his first match back. I’m also thinking that, even though they’re playing it quiet, there is some major heat on Brock from management due to the UFC doping scandal and he’ll have to pay some sort of dues for that. So here’s what will happen. Let Heath come out at the start and demand that the match be a three-way dance. Both Brock and Orton beat up Heath and toss him from the ring. We have our match and it’s as tough and stiff and awesome as we would hope. Brock gets distracted by the man he’s been trading verbal jabs with all week, Bill Goldberg. Orton scores with the RKO for the win from out of nowhere and the seeds are planted for Brock versus Goldberg II at Wrestlemania. Sounds like a plan, right? Let’s roll with it.

Winner: Randy Orton

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins to crown the first WWE Universal champion.

Balor is awesome! Let me say that again. Balor is awesome! But is he ready, so soon after his call-up from NXT, to be the top guy for one of the two WWE Brands? Maybe or maybe not, but I can’t see Vince McMahon going in that direction. Seth is reliable, tried and true and is the hot ticket for WWE right now. Seth was the first NXT Champion and I can’t think of any man better suited to be the first WWE Universal Champion as well. Well, maybe Disco Inferno, but he’s not in the match. Seth takes a beating and Balor will look great, but in the end, Seth wins and takes home the gold.

Winner and FIRST WWE Universal Champion: Seth Rollins

WWE United States champion Rusev vs. Roman Reigns.

This one could easily go either way, but I’m thinking the smart money is on having Rusev as the Champion and letting Roman chase the belt, at least for a few more months. Rusev and Lana are awesome and really coming into their own once more. Look for a DQ or screwjob finish, but the Bulgarian Brute remains the champion, at least for now.

Winner and STILL WWE United States Champion: Rusev

WWE Women’s champion Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte.

As with Rusev, I think Sasha is just starting to come into her own as the WWE Women’s Champion. Charlotte was a great champ, but watching her get down and dirty in her attempts to regain the belt just seems to be more interesting right now. How long before she bites the bullet and goes to get some help from Daddy, right? These ladies can really go and this will be a great match, but at the end of the night, Sasha Banks retains the title and gets the win.

Winner and STILL WWE Women’s Champion: Sasha Banks

AJ Styles vs. John Cena.

Let’s cut the crap. AJ Styles needs a clear and clean win over John Cena. It won’t hurt Cena to lose and AJ needs to get it done so he can move on to the next level, perhaps against Dolph for the WWE Championship? The match will be awesome and tight and Cena will look like Superman, but let’s hope that AJ can finally find the kryptonite he needs and get that long awaited clean victory. And then, maybe Gallows and Anderson can join Cena in the ring and they can have an old-time reunion by beating up John Cena. One can only hope.

Winner: AJ Styles

WWE Intercontinental champion The Miz vs. Apollo Crews.

What is it about Apollo Crews? I don’t see it or get it. He looks like a mini-me Bobby Lashley, but with not as much personality. Crews has potential, I guess, but is he ready to be the Intercontinental Champion? Is he “awesome”? I don’t think so. Miz retains and remains champion.

Winner: The Miz

WWE Tag Team champions New Day vs. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson.

I like the New Day, but the schtick is starting to get stale to me. I would much prefer to see Gallows and Anderson get their due and be the new Tag Team Champions. I’d like to see it, but it won’t happen yet. Look for Big E to return and save his partners and the titles with either a distraction or blatant DQ. New Day retains and the Club has to wait for another day to get all booty.

Winners and STILL WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day

Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho vs. Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady.

With these four men in the ring, anything can and will happen. I expect that the pre-match promos will be just as good as the match… and you can’t teach that. Jericho and Owens don’t need to win. They’re both so over, it really doesn’t matter and just imagine the bickering on Raw Monday night if they lose. Enzo and Cass? They’re the local boys and bonifide G’s. They sure as hell ain’t S-A-W-F-T! A fun match that I’m looking forward to seeing and in the end, Enzo and Cass take the trip to the pay window.

Winners: Enzo Amore & Cass

Cesaro vs. Sheamus – First in Best of Seven Match series.

The Best of Seven? Shade of Magnum versus Nikita or Benoit versus Booker T. This should be a fun and exciting series to watch. First match always goes to the heel though so I’m looking for Sheamus to take Round 1. Why? Just because.

Winner: Sheamus

Neville & Sami Zayn vs. The Dudley Boyz

This is on the Kickoff Show and should be a good way to get the crowd fired up and excited. Neville and Sami are hot right now. The Dudleys have been losing more matches than winning as of late and sadly, I expect this trend to continue. Neville and Sami fly high and we see all sorts of Helluva kicks and Red Arrows and who knows what else going on. And Neville and Sami walk out with the win.

Winners: Neville and Sami Zayn

American Alpha, The Hype Bros and The Usos vs. Breezango, The Ascension and The Vaudevillains

And here is the cluster-f*ck match to get everyone a chance to be on the show. Where are Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel, Kane and the Big Show? I think they’re the only ones who are missing. Oh yeah, they forgot the Wyatt Family too. Maybe next month then. No one cares about The Ascension or the Vaudevillans (even though they’re fantastic performers) and American Alpha and the Hype Bros are making their WWE pay-per-view debuts as teams. It’s pretty easy to see. American Alpha, The Hype Bros and The Usos easily walk away with the wins.

Winners; American Alpha, The Hype Bros and the Usos

And that’s it for now. Tomorrow night is SummerSlam and it is going to be a long and (hopefully) exciting show for the ages. I’m excited and I hope that you are as well. That’s enough for today. I have to go now and get ready for work. Have a great one and I’ll see you on the flip side. Comments and thoughts are welcome. Until the next time…

Ubuntu!

WWE SummerSlam 2016 – Thoughts and Predictions

Coming up on Sunday night, live and exclusive to the WWE Network (and those few who still buy traditional pay-per-view events), it’s WWE SummerSlam. It’s the biggest event of the summer and they have really packed the card, which will run over six hours between the Kick-Off Show and the actual event itself. A lot of action and a lot of great wrestling action, no doubt. And more predictions as well. It looks as if they’re trying to get the entire roster on the show. Well, at least the ones who aren’t suspended for Wellness violations… lol Let’s do this…

WWE SummerSlam 2016 Thoughts and Predictions…

Carmella & Becky Lynch & Naomi vs. Eva Marie & Natalya & Alexa Bliss.

Eva Marie is out due to a Wellness violation so this match will either be dropped, turned into a handicap match or there will be a substitution. I’ll go for the latter and predict a substitution. It could be Nikki Bella since she’s been cleared to return to the ring, but I don’t think they’ll waste her return on a match like this where she’d be lost in the shuffle. It’ll probably be Alicia Fox or Summer Rae filling in. And no one will really notice the difference or care. Naomi just debuted a new look and Becky is the top girl for Smackdown right now so I’ll give the nod to the Carmella, Lynch and Naomi team to take home the win.

Winners: Carmella, Becky Lynch and Naomi

WWE World champion Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler.

I keep hearing that Ambrose has some heat with management due to the Steve Austin podcast so that may be a factor here, plus Ambrose as the WWE Champion, to me, just isn’t really all that or cutting it. He’s just kind of… ‘eh! Would Ziggler do a better job if given the opportunity to run with the ball? Who knows because he’s never really ever been given the chance. I’m hoping that WWE decides that now is the time and place and gives Dolph the opportunity he deserves.

Winner and NEW WWE World Champion: Dolph Ziggler

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton.

If Heath Slater does NOT get involved in some way, shape or form, we riot! Just saying. As for this match, it should be good and stiff and all of the stuff we’ve come to expect from Brock Lesnar matches. I don’t think that Randy Orton is coming back from almost a year on the shelf to lose his first match back. I’m also thinking that, even though they’re playing it quiet, there is some major heat on Brock from management due to the UFC doping scandal and he’ll have to pay some sort of dues for that. So here’s what will happen. Let Heath come out at the start and demand that the match be a three-way dance. Both Brock and Orton beat up Heath and toss him from the ring. We have our match and it’s as tough and stiff and awesome as we would hope. Brock gets distracted by the man he’s been trading verbal jabs with all week, Bill Goldberg. Orton scores with the RKO for the win from out of nowhere and the seeds are planted for Brock versus Goldberg II at Wrestlemania. Sounds like a plan, right? Let’s roll with it.

Winner: Randy Orton

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins to crown the first WWE Universal champion.

Balor is awesome! Let me say that again. Balor is awesome! But is he ready, so soon after his call-up from NXT, to be the top guy for one of the two WWE Brands? Maybe or maybe not, but I can’t see Vince McMahon going in that direction. Seth is reliable, tried and true and is the hot ticket for WWE right now. Seth was the first NXT Champion and I can’t think of any man better suited to be the first WWE Universal Champion as well. Well, maybe Disco Inferno, but he’s not in the match. Seth takes a beating and Balor will look great, but in the end, Seth wins and takes home the gold.

Winner and FIRST WWE Universal Champion: Seth Rollins

WWE United States champion Rusev vs. Roman Reigns.

This one could easily go either way, but I’m thinking the smart money is on having Rusev as the Champion and letting Roman chase the belt, at least for a few more months. Rusev and Lana are awesome and really coming into their own once more. Look for a DQ or screwjob finish, but the Bulgarian Brute remains the champion, at least for now.

Winner and STILL WWE United States Champion: Rusev

WWE Women’s champion Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte.

As with Rusev, I think Sasha is just starting to come into her own as the WWE Women’s Champion. Charlotte was a great champ, but watching her get down and dirty in her attempts to regain the belt just seems to be more interesting right now. How long before she bites the bullet and goes to get some help from Daddy, right? These ladies can really go and this will be a great match, but at the end of the night, Sasha Banks retains the title and gets the win.

Winner and STILL WWE Women’s Champion: Sasha Banks

AJ Styles vs. John Cena.

Let’s cut the crap. AJ Styles needs a clear and clean win over John Cena. It won’t hurt Cena to lose and AJ needs to get it done so he can move on to the next level, perhaps against Dolph for the WWE Championship? The match will be awesome and tight and Cena will look like Superman, but let’s hope that AJ can finally find the kryptonite he needs and get that long awaited clean victory. And then, maybe Gallows and Anderson can join Cena in the ring and they can have an old-time reunion by beating up John Cena. One can only hope.

Winner: AJ Styles

WWE Intercontinental champion The Miz vs. Apollo Crews.

What is it about Apollo Crews? I don’t see it or get it. He looks like a mini-me Bobby Lashley, but with not as much personality. Crews has potential, I guess, but is he ready to be the Intercontinental Champion? Is he “awesome”? I don’t think so. Miz retains and remains champion.

Winner: The Miz

WWE Tag Team champions New Day vs. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson.

I like the New Day, but the schtick is starting to get stale to me. I would much prefer to see Gallows and Anderson get their due and be the new Tag Team Champions. I’d like to see it, but it won’t happen yet. Look for Big E to return and save his partners and the titles with either a distraction or blatant DQ. New Day retains and the Club has to wait for another day to get all booty.

Winners and STILL WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day

Kevin Owens & Chris Jericho vs. Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady.

With these four men in the ring, anything can and will happen. I expect that the pre-match promos will be just as good as the match… and you can’t teach that. Jericho and Owens don’t need to win. They’re both so over, it really doesn’t matter and just imagine the bickering on Raw Monday night if they lose. Enzo and Cass? They’re the local boys and bonifide G’s. They sure as hell ain’t S-A-W-F-T! A fun match that I’m looking forward to seeing and in the end, Enzo and Cass take the trip to the pay window.

Winners: Enzo Amore & Cass

Cesaro vs. Sheamus – First in Best of Seven Match series.

The Best of Seven? Shade of Magnum versus Nikita or Benoit versus Booker T. This should be a fun and exciting series to watch. First match always goes to the heel though so I’m looking for Sheamus to take Round 1. Why? Just because.

Winner: Sheamus

Neville & Sami Zayn vs. The Dudley Boyz

This is on the Kickoff Show and should be a good way to get the crowd fired up and excited. Neville and Sami are hot right now. The Dudleys have been losing more matches than winning as of late and sadly, I expect this trend to continue. Neville and Sami fly high and we see all sorts of Helluva kicks and Red Arrows and who knows what else going on. And Neville and Sami walk out with the win.

Winners: Neville and Sami Zayn

American Alpha, The Hype Bros and The Usos vs. Breezango, The Ascension and The Vaudevillains

And here is the cluster-f*ck match to get everyone a chance to be on the show. Where are Bo Dallas, Curtis Axel, Kane and the Big Show? I think they’re the only ones who are missing. Oh yeah, they forgot the Wyatt Family too. Maybe next month then. No one cares about The Ascension or the Vaudevillans (even though they’re fantastic performers) and American Alpha and the Hype Bros are making their WWE pay-per-view debuts as teams. It’s pretty easy to see. American Alpha, The Hype Bros and The Usos easily walk away with the wins.

Winners; American Alpha, The Hype Bros and the Usos

And that’s it for now. Tomorrow night is SummerSlam and it is going to be a long and (hopefully) exciting show for the ages. I’m excited and I hope that you are as well. That’s enough for today. I have to go now and get ready for work. Have a great one and I’ll see you on the flip side. Comments and thoughts are welcome.

Ubuntu!

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II – Thoughts and Predictions

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II – Thoughts & Predictions
August 20. 2016
Coming up tonight at the Barclay Center in Brooklyn, New York is NXT: Takeover Brooklyn II. It’s a big show for the NXT brand and the WWE. Of course, that means predictions, right? Well, Sister Cleo died a few weeks ago and Jeanne Dixon has been dead for decades so I guess we’re stuck with channeling Gary Spivey now. Where is a good fortune telling psychic when you need one? Let’s look at the matches and pick some winners and losers. Let’s do this…

NXT Takeover: Brooklyn II – Thoughts and Predictions…

NXT Championship Match
Samoa Joe (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

The build has been excellent and I expect this match will be pretty damn awesome as well. Nakamura ia a big star and huge deal just waiting to bust out and Joe… his reputation speaks for itself. He kills bitches dead! As much as I like Nakamura and expect many big things from him in the future, I think it’s too early to put the NXT strap on his waist though. Unless the WWE is planning to move Joe up to the main roster (and who wouldn’t like to see Joe versus Owens or Joe versus Brock?), his reign as the NXT Champion still has plenty of ways to go. It’ll be a good match and go above and beyond, but I think Samoa Joe will retain his title when the smoke clears.

Winner and STILL NXT Champion: Samoa Joe

NXT Women’s Championship Match
Asuka (c) vs. Bayley

This is probably the match I’m most looking forward to. Asuka is just amazing in my eyes and is well on the way to approaching “Ivory status”. Yes, I like her that much. And Bayley is a just awesome in her own right and is the next big breakout star for NXT whenever they decide to move her up to the main roster. I wouldn’t switch the title and think Asuka should retain, but I’m not the man booking this match. WWE is going to want at least one title change tonight and I think this will be it. The “feel good moment” of the evening. Look for Bayley to take a beating, but come back at the end for the win and the title.

Winner and NEW NXT Women’s Champion: Bayley

NXT Tag Team Championship Match
The Revival (c) vs. Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa

The Revival are doing a great job as champions and it’s too soon to have them drop the belts. No new champions here. The big story for this match is whether Gargano and Ciampa will still be a team at the end of the night. They’ve been teasing issues between the two men for several weeks now and I’m thinking that when / if Gargano and Ciampa lose the match and fail to get the titles, we’re going to see discord and chaos and probably a turn by one of the men. It’s just a theory at this point, but we’ll see. Anyhow, look for the Revival to retain the tag team gold.

Winners and STILL NXT Tag Team Champions: The Revival

Andrade “Cien” Almas vs. Bobby Roode

Andrade Almas is another talent that I see a big future in. He’s charismatic and exciting and really seems to connect with the fans. But that being said, he seems to have lost a little bit of his fire since his debut a few months ago. He’s still hot, but the flame seems to be flickering a bit here and there. And he’s facing Bobby Roode. ‘Nuff said! It’ll be another damn good match, but in the end, look for Roode to walk out with his arm raised as he takes that trip to the pay window.

Winner: Bobby Roode

No Way Jose vs. Austin Aries

No Way Jose is… okay, I don’t really get him or see what’s so special about the character. But admittingly, I’ve only seen him perform a couple of times so far so what do I know, right? Jose is facing Austin Aries and Aries is an amazing talent and great heel. He won’t be hurt by a loss and can use it to get over even more if that’s possible. Jose is a currrent NXT favorite and he’ll walk out with the win. Why? I don’t know, but he will. No way? Yes way!

Winner: No Way Jose

Ember Moon vs. Billie Kaye

Ember Moon is making her debut and the company is said to be very high on this young woman. Billie Kaye is said to be a tough lady and this should be a good match, but is there any real doubt to who the winner will be? I don’t think so.

Winner: Ember Moon

And there you go. Those are the matches announced for tonight’s show as of this writing (at 6:25am on Saturday morning) and those are my predictions as to who will win and lose. I’ll be back later today or late tonight with predictions for SummerSlam, the WWE event of the Summer, coming Sunday night at the Barclay Center in New York. Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

Slater And The Beast (WWE Fan Fic)

Slater And The Beast  (WWE Fan Fiction)

Shortly after their encounter on RAW, Heath Slater has a conversation with Paul Heyman and “The Beast” Brock Lesnar…
Backstage at RAW, Heath Slater is sitting in the trainer’s room, getting medical attention. Moments earlier, Heath had interrupted “The Beast” Brock Lesnar and his advocate, Paul Heyman, as they attempted to promote Brock’s upcoming match against “The Viper” Randy Orton at SummerSlam.

“You’re going to be all right”, the trainer told Heath as he placed the compress on the back of Heath’s neck. “Just take it easy for a few days if you can.”

“Thanks”, Heath told the trainer as he sat up, only to see Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar walking into the room.

Heath quickly jumped up, his hands flexing into fists as he prepared for a fight.

“Relax”, Heyman said. “Just relax. I want to talk to you!”

Heath cast a weary eye at Brock, but allowed his fist to uncurl as he sat back down.

“What do you want, Paul?”

“Well”, Heyman began. “First off, I wanted to tell you that going out there, live on RAW, and cutting into my time, into Brock’s time, was either the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen or the craziest. What the hell were you thinking?”

“I explained it out there”, Heath said. “I was doing what I had to do.”

“Oh yeah”, Heyman sighed. “Have to feed the family, get that contract, etc. etc. I get all of that, but to purposely antagonize the Beast, Brock Lesnar… Was it worth it? Really?”

Heath stared at Heyman for a few seconds and said, “Yeah, it was! I knew I was going to get my ass kicked, but I made a statement. I did what I needed to and yeah Paul, it was worth it!”

Heyman stared at Heath and shook his head. Brock decided then to speak up.

“Slater, I looked in your eyes tonight and I saw a lot of things. Dread. Determination. But you know what?”

“What Brock?”, Heath asked.

“I didn’t see any fear. You were in there and you knew what would happen, but you stepped up and did what you felt you needed to do like a man. And I respect that!”

Brock reached out his hand towards Slater, offering a handshake. Slowly, Heath returned the gesture and shook Brock’s hand. The two men stood there in silence, staring at each other.

“You’ve been here in the WWE for a long time and mostly, you’ve been used as an enhancement guy, a comedy guy, a third stringer”, Heyman interjected, breaking the silence. “But I think you’re finally ready to break that glass ceiling and reach for the brass ring that Vince likes to talk about.”

“So does that mean you’re willing to take me on as a Paul Heyman guy?”, Heath asked, a small smile forming on his face.

“Let’s don’t get ridiculous”, Heyman shot back with a smile. “I am the representative and advocate for Brock and only Brock at this time.”

Heath’s smile started to falter a bit but then Heyman continued.

“But I think you just took a major step tonight towards moving to the next level. I’ll talk to Stephanie and Shane for you and see if we can’t help speed things up a bit. You’re finally ready! And if you ever need a little advice or help… well, maybe?”

“Thank you Paul”, Heath smiled, reaching out to shake Heyman’s hand.

Brock reached over and smacked Heath on the back, causing him to wince in pain.

“Go get dressed and meet me and Paul after the show. I’ll buy you a beer!”

Heyman and Brock walked off, leaving Heath sitting there. The trainer walked back over.

“What was all that about, Heath?”, he asked.

“I’m not totally sure”, Heath said. “But I think everything is going to be okay.”

END