Wrestling Fact Or Fiction: December 16, 2013

Wrestling Fact or Fiction
December 26, 2013

I hope that everyone has had a happy holiday season and a Merry Christmas. It’s time to do that weekly “Fact Or Fiction” thing I love to do. The questions, except for the last one, came from 411mania.com/wrestling. The answers, on all the questions, are mine. Let’s do this.

1. You want to see a Batista return at WrestleMania 30.

FACT: I’m not really what one could call a big fan of Batista, but he’s a strong presence and he add freshness to the top of the card. Look at the potential matches: Batista versus Orton, Batista versus Punk, Batista versus Brock, etc. That’s money waiting to be made. Batista is coming back at just the right time and his presence is welcome, be it at Wrestlemania XXX, The Royal Rumble, or just as part of the WWE roster. Good move by the WWE.

2. Magnus was the wrong guy to win the “vacated” TNA Title.

FICTION: Wouldn’t have been my pick, but what the hell. He’s a fresh face and as good as anyone else. TNA screwed up by letting AJ Styles (and Jeff Jarrett) go and I could really care less right now whatever they want to do.

3. The Survivor Series buys being down 30,000 from last year was not a surprise to you.

FACT: The prices have gone up, the matches were pretty predictable and no one has any extra money to spend, due to high unemployment and the whole “Obamacare” fiasco. The WWE should be happy that they had the buyrate that they did because for the forseeable future, I would expect that all cards, except for Wrestlemania, will be having fewer viewers.

4. According to reports, the plans for Roman Reigns are, “bigger than anyone would have thought.” With that being the case, Reigns will be the man to challenge the Undertaker at WrestleMania 30.

FICTION: Reigns may be on his way to being a big name, but he’s not ready to face Taker and the “streak” yet. It’s too soon.

5. Chavo Guerrero was the right guy to win the “fired” briefcase in TNA’s Feast to Fired match.

FICTION: Chavo may not be one of the biggest names in the company, but unless he has a sweet backstage deal as an agent or a trip back to the WWE in his future, he is not someone that TNA should be cutting loose. He’s a good in ring talent, a good talker and has that whole “Guerrero” thing going on. I doubt we’ve seen the last of Chavito, but if he truly is gone from TNA, it’s their loss and a bad move.

6. The Shield has been the best tag team in wrestling for the year 2013.

FICTION: They’re good – that’s for sure, but what about The Uso’s, The Prime Time Players, The Real Americans, The Rhodes Brothers, The Wyatt Family, Punk and Bryan, 3MB, etc. There are a ton of good and potentially great tag teams in the WWE and pro wrestling in general right now and while The Shield is damn good, are they the best? Only time will tell.

7. Sin Cara (aka Mistico) should be considered one of the biggest busts in WWE history.

FICTION: This whole Sin Cara experiment has been a bust to be sure, but one of the biggest? What about Nathan Jones, Mike Adamle, Mantaur, the “new” Midnight Express, Jim Ross as a heel, the fake Razor Ramon and Diesel, Coach as a wrestler, the “Anonymous GM” for RAW, Hornswoggle as VInce’s son, etc. So many to choose from and those are just the ones that I thought of while sitting here. Sin Cara never found his stride and it was pretty much a disaster, but still, one of the biggest? Not even close.

8. Xanta Claus was a better evil Christmas character than the Christmas Creature.

FACT: Xanta Clause was better than the “Christmas Creature” – that’s true. But to be honest, they both sucked!

9. Jeff Jarrett’s resignation is a major blow to TNA.

FACT: When the founder and minority owner of the company quits, you know that things are going downhill fast. AJ Styles was the heart of the company and he’s gone. Jeff Jarrett is the founder and now he’s gone too. Methinks that there are some hard times coming for the management of TNA and unless they get a major miracle and some good investors to step in and help rebuild, their days are numbered. ‘Nuff said!

And that’s all for me. See you in 2014.

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days Of Dougie III – Part 18: Breaking The Streak (Possible Opponents For Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXX)

Thirty Days of Dougie III – Part 18: Breaking The Streak: Possible Opponents For Undertaker At Wrestlemania XXX
December 22, 2013

We are just a mere four months away from Wrestlemania XXX and the speculation and talk has already started. Who will be in the main events? Who will be the WWE World Champion? Will The Rock be there? Will Hulk Hogan be there? And of course, who will be facing Undertaker as he defends “the streak”. I may as well add my own speculation and guesses on that particular topic… and I will. That’s why we’re here. So let’s just do it.

Top 14 Possible Opponents for The Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXX…

14. Chris Jericho: I can’t honestly remember if Jericho and Undertaker have ever had a major feud against each other. I’m sure that they have at some point, but if so, that’s been a long time ago and wouldn’t matter now. Just picture this: Jericho makes a surprise return on RAW. He does the usual promo about being the first undisputed champion, the Ayatollah of Rock & Rolla, etc, a rock star, a tv star, etc. And then he gets to the point. There’s nothing left for him in the WWE except… the biggest dog in the world of sports-entertainment against the biggest dog in WWE history. How about Jericho going after “The Streak”. There are so many ways that this could be pulled off and just imagine the promos and antics as they build to this match. The respect factor between Taker and Jericho is there and even though there’s a size difference to be considered, Jericho is one of the biggest names in this business and one of the best workers. It could be a match for the ages.

13. Bad News Barrett: I hate this new gimmick that Wade Barrett is doing at the moment andI wish they’d just go back to the bad-ass character that Barrett was doing previously. But that being said, how about Wade coming out and saying he has some “bad news” for the Undertaker. He’s going to be facing Barrett at Wrestlemania. They’re roughly about the same size and it would be a good matchup from a physical point of view. Barrett has all the tools and a match like this would be exactly what it takes to propel Barrett from obscurity to top level status. The WWE would have a lot of work to do to get the fans to view Barrett as Taker’s equal, but a few weeks of domination on RAW and Smackdown, just decimating other wrestlers and some serious, no nonsense promos would do the trick. It could be a really good match.

12. William Regal: This one probably won’t happen since the WWE doesn’t see Regal as a “top guy”, but that could be changed so quickly with just the slightest bit of effort and with a man as skilled, both on the mic and in the ring as Regal, it could easily turn out to be one of the best Undertaker / Wrestlemania matches of all time. Just picture this. Regal comes on RAW and starts talking about his career. He’s wrestled over thirty years and all over the world, but he’s viewed by some fans as a joke. Despite all the titles and great matches, the fans don’t take him seriously. He realizes that he’s getting older and probably on borrowed time, but he wants to cement his legacy and put the exclamation point on his career, so he’s decided to do what no one else ever could and that’s take out the streak. Just have Regal be cold and totally serious. And then, the next week, we get a rare Taker appearance and when asked about Regal, he laughs. He doesn’t take it seriously. He wants a real challenger. Regal takes exception and goes after Taker’s friends, sending a message. Taker confronts him on RAW again and we get a major brawl, but Taker still won’t agree to match. Regal offers to put up career and we get match like the HBK- Taker match last year. Streak versus Career. It’s money and would be big. It would definitely work.

11. Ryback: Ryback is a genetic freak and a monster in that ring. I don’t think he’s really a top-level guy, but he’s got the size and it could be an interesting match to watch, especially if they bring back Paul Heyman to represent Ryback and let him handle the build and the talking. It wouldn’t be a great match and there’s not really any major doubt who would win, but still, if nothing else works out, this could be a strong possibility.

10. Kane: Yeah, I know that it’s been done a million times already, but still, the history between the two “brothers” indicates that it could easily be done again and again if needed. The past few encounters between Kane and Taker, where they were against each other, had Kane coming out on top more often than not. It wouldn’t be the same without Paul Bearer (RIP) there to lend a hand and stir the pot, but it would be a good, solid match and since Kane is now a member of “The Authority”, that would also add to the tension and the mix.

9. The Rock: As it stands now, it doesn’t look like The Rock will be able to be there for Wrestlemania XXX as he’s scheduled to be filming one of his many movies overseas, but still, just imagine it. The “Great One” versus “The Phenom”. Much like Jericho earlier, the Rock has done it all and conquered both wrestling and Hollywood. What’s left? How about the Streak? The match wouldn’t be the best, but it would be passable. And just imagine the promos and build. Rock is such a major name that no one would believe he would come back to the WWE just to lose, even to the Taker. And thus builds the suspense and anticipation. It would be huge.

8. Antonio Cesaro: Another rising star in the WWE who would benefit greatly from a match against the WWE’s resident “Dead Man”. Cesaro has proven that he can perform in that ring and despite the bad booking by the WWE creative team and being stuck in a tag team gimmick as part of the “Real Americans”, the fans have started to notice. Just have Zeb Coulter come out and do some promos about Taker is a “traitor to the American way of life” and he’s actually an “Unamerican Bad Ass” and let it go from there. Taker could retaliate and “take out” Cesaro’s partner, Jack Swagger and then we get the revenge factor as Cesaro and Zeb are out to end the streak as revenge for Taker’s “treason” against them and the American way. Taker would probably win pretty easily, but it would be a great match and who would’t want to see if Cesaro can put Taker in the “big swing” and spin him around. That would be a “Wrestlemania moment” for the ages.

7. Bray Wyatt: Bray Wyatt and his “family” are all about the weirdness and have that major “strange as hell” factor going on, much like a certain other big named star did with his “Ministery” a few years ago. All you have to do is have Bray come out and cut a promo that “Sister Abigail” is disturbed by the presence of another entity, the Phenom of the WWE and he (Bray) has been instructed to either bring Taker to their side with an alliance or end the legacy and powers of Taker by destroying that which gives him his power, the streak. The theatrics and craziness of the build would be fun to watch and the match would be a great contrast in styles that could be really fun as well.

6. Mark Henry: The World’s Strongest Man, in a pissed off mood, determined to enter the biggest legend in WWE history into his “Hall of Pain”. The story writes itself and Mark is at the point in his career where you can’t count him out. As he proved with his “retirement speech” a few months ago, the man is ready for that major, final push as his career begins to wind down, and while I wouldn’t expect him to beat the streak, a great match against Taker at Wrestlemania XXX would be a great way tostart that “one last run”.

5. Batista: We’ve all heard the rumors and seen the spoilers about Batista. If they’re true, that leaves a major WWE player joining the game and starting that ride down the “Road To Wrestlemania”. He’s been gone long enough and he’s a big enough name to definitely be deemed a credible challenger to “The Streak” and much like The Rock, who would think that Batista has come back just to lose? He wouldn’t be and that makes all the difference. Batista versus The Taker? I’ll like to see that.

4. THE SHIELD: The basis for this is already in place. The last time we saw The Undertaker on WWE TV, he was taken out by the SHIELD. Now he’s back and he wants revenge. So we get either a tag match with Taker and two partners of his choice (a great way to give a rub to two undercard players who can “step up” and be his partners, or else we get a handicap match, much like we saw at TLC with Taker taking on all three members of the SHIELD in a 3 versus 1 setting. As CM Punk and Daniel Bryan both proved at the TLC pay-per-view, a handicap match, if booked correctly, can be entertaining. And just imagine what “bad communication” between the SHIELD members could do. It could give Taker possibly his biggest win ever, adding another exclamation point to his legacy, but at the same time, lead to the often rumored SHIELD break-up, thus setting their roles in the WWE storylines for the several months following Wrestlemania. It could be the catalyst for so many potential things.

3. Brock Lesnar: There is so much history here to build on, dating back to Brock’s first run with the WWE and even during Brock’s days in the UFC, I’m surprised this match hasn’t already taken place. Brock is a monster, pure and simple, and honestly, would be the most credible and dangerous man for Taker to go against. The match would be so stiff and brutal. I think that’s why it hasn’t happened yet. Brock is so stiff that Taker would face a strong possibility of being too banged up and his body, at this point, might not be able to take it. Paul Heyman as the mouthpiece and building up Brock versus Taker though. That would be must see TV and would be one helluva match as well.

2. John Cena: John Cena is the biggest star in the WWE right now, pure and simple. He’s the WWE’s resident “Superman” so why not just go ahead and do it. Cena doesn’t lose… period! Taker doesn’t lose at Wrestlemania… period! That would free up the WWE World Championship contention for some other challenger and would also free up “The Rock” if he is able to come back, to face someone else as well. It’s the biggest match possible for the current WWE roster and before Taker decides to call it quits, it needs to happen. Taker is the unoffical leader of the WWE roster and it could be like a passing of the torch for Taker and Cena. Win or lose, it would be the ultmate honor for Cena to go against Taker at this point and time and it’s one that the WWE fans (and I) would so love to see.

1. Sting: This one has to be number one because for the past several years, it’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue. Will Sting come to the WWE? Will we ever see this ultimate dream match? Can it happen? Honestly, I don’t think it would be a great match in the ring. Sting, while being so full of charisma and definitely having that “it” factor, has never really been a strong “in ring” performer. He knows and hits his spots, but he’s not a Ric Flair or Bret Hart or CM Punk. Against a good wrestler, he can have a good match, but against a less than stellar performer, he’s not all that. Taker is a good wrestler who knows how to turn it on and make a good match great and make a good wrestler look great if needed and against someone like Sting, especially at this point in his career, would have to really pull out all the stops. But honestly, none of that matters. It’s Undertaker versus Sting. Even if all they did was stand there and stare at each other, it’d be awesome and cool to watch. Sting would be the ultimate opponent for Taker at Wrestlemania XXX… and that’s the bottom line because I just said so. ‘Nuff said!

So there you go. Those are the top guys that I think could (or should) be considered as possible opponents for The Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXX. It could be any one of these people (or three if it’s the Wyatt’s or The Shield), or it could be someone else that we haven’t even thought of or considered yet. Right now, it’s all just pure speculation.

So who do you think should be facing The Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXX? And why? Comments and thoughts are welcome so let me know what you think.

And with that, I’m out of here. Have to go now and watch the Carolina Panthers take on New Orleans. Go Panthers!

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days of Dougie III – Part 17: Random Musings

Thirty Days Of Dougie III – Part 17: Random Musings
December 20, 2013

Time for some rambling and ranting and all of that stuff about the many topics on my mind, but not really worthy enough of their own blog.

Santa is white. Every picture I’ve ever seen and every drawing and every cartoon depicts Santa as white. It’s a fictional character based on a real person, but the bottom line is this fictional character is and has always been depicted as white. Maybe it’s wrong, but so what? It’s just the way things are. I did see a black Santa one time at a Christmas parade over in Maxton, NC. And the thing that stands out most from that experience for me is that I remember a small black child seeing this “black Santa” and turning to his Ma and saying, “That ain’t Santa. Santa’s a white man!”. From the mouths of babes, right. Believe what you want. It doesn’t matter anyhow, but Santa, to me, is a crusty old white dude. ‘Nuff said!

I like M&M’s – the peanut variety. The plain are pretty good too. Don’t much like the almond types and the pretzel kind… they suck!

The Duck Dynasty controversy. It’s a work by A&E and the Robertson family. Nothing wrong with what Phil said and it’s what I’d expect to hear from a religious, sixty-plus year old man in the south. It shouldn’t surprise anyone and if it did, you’re kind of a dumb-ass! A&E suspended him even though they’ve already filmed the next season. The Robertson’s say that Duck Dynasty might not go on if Phil isn’t part of the show. And eveyone is going nuts, signing petitions and buying up the Duck Dynasty merchandise. And both the network and Phil and his family are raking in the bucks as a result. We’re being swerved folks. And in the end, we’ll get a compromise and all will be back to normal. Except that they’ll all be richer and we’ll have a shitload of cheezy merchandise laying around that we bought in our irrational fear that the show might be cancelled and to support Phil’s free speech. I’m already sick of all of this crap.

If you make a promise or have a deal, fufill your obligations and do what you said you would do. Don’t make excuses and don’t make false promises that you’ll make it up later. Do what you said and promised or don’t be surprised when people quit trusting you and quit trying to work with you. A person is only as good as their word and if you keep breaking your word and taking advantage of people, it will eventually come back and bite you in the ass. Karma is a bitch and she doesn’t play games.

White paint is too damn bright.

I wish someone would go ahead and just bitch-slap Obama every time he lies. That man would be f*cked up!

Ole and Gene Anderson (RIP) aka “The Minnesota Wrecking Crew”, belong in the WWE Hall of Fame. Just saying.

And speaking of Hall of Fame inductees, I want to say congratulations to Nirvana, KISS, Hall & Oates, Cat Stevens and Linda Ronstadt on their selections for induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Class of 2014. And now, what about Deep Purple? Long overdue and needs to be done. And hell, what about Bon Jovi or Def Leppard? Their time is coming soon (I hope).

Four days before Christmas. I have no money, no tree, and very little holiday spirit going on right now. But I have a few good friends…. hell, let’s call them what they are… family… to keep me on the straight and narrow and to make things good. So I’m not gonna complain or fuss… too much.

Been over at the “Meet Me” site on Facebook playing around a little bit. Some nice faces and bodies to look at, but not much going on for a gay man. Guess I’d better just stick with Craigslist…. or find a way to get to the next county over where the sexy-ass rockers all stay. I so much want to rock his world!

Does anyone even bother to read real newspapers anymore? I remember a time, not all that long ago, where I was reading at least two and usually more papers a day, cover to cover. Well, not really. I didn’t read much in the sports section unless it concerned UNC Basketball, the Carolina Panthers or wrestling. But so far as the other sections would go, I’d read it all in the Laurinburg (local) paper, the Raleigh News & Observer and the Fayetteville Observer. And I loved the Charlotte Observer too until they raised the price and then I gave that one up. That was then and this is now. I glance at the headlines and read the criminal sections, the obituaries and the political stuff, but the rest… it’s a joke and just not worth the trouble. It used to be the papers were the facts, simple and unbiased and the TV news was all slanted towards this or that agenda. The TV news is still screwed up and a joke, but now the papers are just as bad. No one bothers reporting “news” anymore. Now it’s all just propoganda and fluff stories. It’s a shame. Really it is.

James Dean only made three movies and he’s still the greatest movie actor of all time. Johnny Depp is pretty damn close in second place though. If you ever get a chance to see the movie “Ed Wood”, go see it. Depp is awesome!

I wonder if they ever caught that reindeer that keeps running over Grandma every year. I’ll bet it ended up as venison in someone’s freezer.

With all these reality shows on TV these days, it’s pretty obvious that anyone can be a TV star, no talent needed. I think I’m going to get together with my extended family, the “La Krew Familia” and see if they want to put together a pilot to sell to one of these cable networks. We need our own reality show. We just need to find a good schtick to use as a selling point. Put Kenneth, Tam, Kayden, myself, my better half and maybe one other together in a house and the cameras roll. Either instant TV success and high ratings or else criminal charges and prison for everyone. Either way, it wouldn’t be boring.

I wish there was a way to see all the dreams that the “dream-catcher” I keep over my bed has “captured”. There are some doozies there.

Does anyone else remember a puppet show that was on Saturday morning TV back in the 70’s called “Kukla, Fran and Ollie”? I remember the name and I remember puppets, but I didn’t watch the show much. Didn’t like it. But for some reason, I keep thinking about it now. Maybe I should go to YouTube and watch some old episodes? Nah, maybe not.

I like to burn candles. I also like to snuggle, eat popcorn and read about serial killers. And dragons are real. Just saying!

And I think I’ve talked enough for now. I’ve got furniture to move and people to facebook-stalk. Is it you? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! If you’re sexy and you know it, it probably is.
So now, I’m closing this up. Have a Merry Christmas, my peeps! I need a job!

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days of Dougie III – Day 16: No Man’s Land

Thirty Days of Dougie III – Day 16:  No Man’s Land

I wrote this nearly 21 years ago this week.  A little retro for everyone.  Enjoy.  

Ubuntu!

 

NO Man’s Land

Coming in or going out
standing on the porch
take a moment to look back
and reflect

has it ever cost me more
between the restless crowds
and the silence of this room
I spend an hour in no man’s land
you’ll be leaving soon

friends come and friends go
there are always some to spare
one is a victim of tragedy
another stops to stare
yet another just keeps walking by
pretending not to see
they’re all out there in this no man’s land
it’s the safest place for me

but a sanctuary never comes without a cost
and some risks
all these illusions
without any freedom

is it supposed to be like this
the haunting of the haunted
it’s a game no one can win
I feel a presence long about midnight
and then it’s gone again

that seems to be my destiny
to go forth and never rest
to ride that massive wave
scared to do my best
to shiver in the darkest night
afraid to make my stand
then head on back
to serve my sentence
out there in no man’s land

December 24, 1992

Wrestling Fact Or Fiction: December 19, 2013

Wrestling Fact Or Fiction
December 19, 2013

Time to take a break from the job-hunting and the looking for sexy men online to do that wrestling thing I do so well. Yeppers, my friends… It’s “Fact or Fiction” time. As per the usual, the questions came from http://www.411mania.com/wrestling. And as per usual, the answers are me, myself and I’s… Let’s do it!

1. Randy Orton was the right call to become the Undisputed WWE World Champion.

FACT: Well, look at the choices. It was Randy or Superman Cena and of the two, Randy was definitely the best choice. There are far more ways to go with this story now, plus it gets Cena far away from the whole title picture, which is a plus as well. Cena has a role to play in the WWE, but his character is overexposed. Let Cena go fight with the Shield now or maybe help build some new stars with new feuds (Cena versus Ryder, Cena versus Sandow, Cena versus Wyatts). Randy isn’t my ideal choice, but he’s better than the other option.

2. TNA’s recent contract negotiations with AJ Styles do not send a good message to other long time employees who are about to negotiate for new deals.

FACT: AJ Styles was the face and soul of TNA and he was pretty much given a big “F.U.” by the company. If I worked for TNA and my contract was coming up soon, I’d be very nervous.

3. Following in the footsteps of the recent World/WWE Title Unification, WWE should unify the US and IC Titles.

FICTION: The top title was unified, but that just makes the two secondary titles even more valuable and important. Let’s keep those titles seperate and give the mid-card wrestlers and former champions something to work towards. The problem isn’t too many titles in the WWE. It’s just lack of focus by the creative teams and the powers-that-be in the company. Now is a great time to change that and restore some of the past glory and honor to those titles.

4. Matt Hardy’s return to Ring of Honor makes you less likely to watch a show that he is involved on.

FICTION: Having Matt there makes me more likely to tune in and at least follow the ROH product, as opposed to now where I barely recognize most of the talents and have no interest. Matt, when his head is straight, is a talented performer and fun to watch.

5. You are excited to watch this week’s Final Resolution edition of TNA Impact Wrestling.

FICTION: I have no interest at all and could care less.

6. TNA made the right decision when they decided not to re-sign AJ Styles.

FICTION: TNA not re-signing AJ is comparable to WWE not re-signing CM Punk or WCW, back in the day, not re-signing Ric Flair. Dumb move that will most likely come back and bite them in the ass.

7. You are more interested in the WWE Network as an online property than you would be if it was a traditional cable channel.

FICTION: Online is okay, but I want to watch the old shows, the new shows, the superstars and Divas and legends of the WWE and their affiliated programming on my television set. I like traditional. What can I say?

8. Chris Hero returning to Ring of Honor makes you more excited for the ROH product in 2014.

FACT: I don’t really follow ROH and have little interest, but I have tried to follow Chris Hero. He’s a talented guy and a valuable player that WWE let get away. ROH signing him to their roster can’t be anything but an asset and I’m glad to see that Hero is getting the opportunity to show the world (and WWE) just how good he really can be. Kudos to ROH for their wise decision.

And that’s it for now. Later, my friends and have a very Merry Christmas!

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days of Dougie III – Day 15: The Horsemen versus The WWE

Thirty Days of Dougie III – Day 15: The Horsemen versus The WWE

December 16, 2013

So I’m here and I’m kind of bored and I have wrestling on the mind. Is it going to be an edition of pro wrestling’s most eclectic column, the infamous “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News”? Nah, I don’t think so. When I bring that back, and have no doubts, it will be coming back at some point, I want to do it right. This is just something that was a part of the “Tossing Salt Universe” that I did occasionally in the column. It’s what I called “One On One”.

And if you remember correctly, I would do some fantasy match-making and then try to determine who would win each match. Simple, but always fun. And I’m doing it again with some classic matches between the most elite and iconic wrestling faction of ALL TIME, The Horsemen versus the WWE Stars of today. So let’s just jump to it and make the matches. And by the way, Jeff Jarrett is NOT a Horseman. That’s what Arn Anderson says in his book and what “Double A” says is what goes. ‘Nuff said!

The particpants for the “Horseman” team are: Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Ole Anderson, Barry Windham, Lex Luger, Sid Vicious, Brian Pillman, Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Curt Hennig, Paul Roma and Steve “Mongo” McMichael.

And their rivals, from the 2013 WWE Superstar roster, we have Triple H, CM Punk, Mark Henry, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, The Big Show, Daniel Bryan, Bray Wyatt, The Shield, Randy Orton and John Cena.

And how I’m doing the matches is pretty simple too. Random drawing. Two boxes, each filled with tiny scraps of papers with names written on them. I draw from the Horseman box and then from the WWE box and that’s the match. In the case of The Shield, I’ll draw three Horseman names to determine their opponents. Let’s do this.

The Horsemen versus The WWE Universe

Ole Anderson versus Randy Orton

Man, this would be an awesome match to see Ole, in his prime, taking on “The Viper”. Two men who basically wrestle instead of brawl, but do it with attitude and, dare I say it, ruthless agression. Ole is just a tough old S.O.B. and would push Randy to the limits and beyond. But as much I hate to admit it, since I’m definitely an Anderson fan, I think Randy would have the advantage in speed and endurance and that would make the difference. Randy would take a beating like he hasn’t seen since his daddy last spanked his hiney, but in the end, he would still come out on top.

Winner: Randy Orton

Dean Malenko versus Daniel Bryan

It’s showtime folks with a clinic in pure wrestling by two of the very best ever. Malenko has the edge (slightly) in strength, but Bryan has it in speed. These guys would be so evenly matched, it’s not even funny and it honestly could go either way at the drop of a hat. I’ll just flip a coin on this one since they’re both that damn good. And the winner would be… Daniel Bryan.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Chris Benoit versus The Big Show

Benoit was nothing but pure intensity and determination. Big Show is power personified. Show would dominate most of the match, but I think he’d get worn out pretty quickly and the tenacity of Benoit would take over. Gotta go with the Crippler here.

Winner: Chris Benoit

Paul Roma versus Dolph Ziggler

Pretty Paul Roma against The Show Off. This would actually, in my mind, be a close match and steal the show. We all talk about how Roma was not a good pick for the Horsemen, but he was a good talent in the ring and could hold his own against anyone. And I think he proved when he was teaming later on with Paul Orndorff that he was a top talent for WCW. Roma is good, but I think Dolph is ready to break out and really be a big time player and in the end, he’d be too much for Roma to handle.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Ric Flair, Flyin’ Brian Pillman & Curt Henning versus THE SHIELD

As much as I like The Shield and the things they can do in that ring, we’re talking about the “Nature Boy”, the “Loose Cannon” and “Mr. Perfect” here on the other side of the ring. And while it would be a great and competitive match, is there really any kind of doubt who would walk out with their arms raised in victory?

Winners: Ric Flair, Brian Pillman and Curt Hennig

Sid Vicious versus Triple H

Sid is a big man, called “Psycho”, with a lot of good power moves. Triple H is the “Cerebral Assassin” and he’s earned that nickname many times over. Sid is tough, but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. HHH outsmarts and outwrestles Sid and takes home the win.

Winner: Triple H

Tully Blanchard versus Mark Henry

Tully is the thinking man’s wrestler and would try to wear down and out-wrestle Mark Henry. Mark is the power man and would just attempt to out-muscle Tully. Tully would dodge and weave and just try to stay away from Henry, with a rope-a-dope hit and run attack. Henry would wear himself out trying to catch Tully and in the end, it would go to the “Super Brat” for the win.

Winner: Tully Blanchard

Steve “Mongo” McMichael versus John Cena

Mongo is a legit tough guy outside the ring. Inside the ring, he just plain sucked. He tried, but he’s no John Cena in that ring. Cena, for all his faults, is a good performer, a tough hombe and a decent wrestler. It wouldn’t take him very long to put Mongo away and take home the victory.

Winner: John Cena

Lex Luger versus CM Punk

Luger, in his prime, had one of the best bodies in the world. CM Punk doesn’t have a great body, but he’s one of the best performers and wrestlers in the world. Again, like so many other matches listed here, it would be a fun match to watch. But the outcome really isn’t in any doubt. The nod goes to the “Best In The World”.

Winner: CM Punk

Arn Anderson versus Alberto Del Rio

“The Enforcer” versus the muilti-time World Champion. Another match that would be a contrast in styles, but fun to watch. Arn and Del Rio have a similar style in that they’re both focused, more mat orientated wrestlers. They don’t leave the ground too often, and when they do, it’s usually not one of their better moves. Both like to focus on the arm with Del Rio using the “Cross-Armbreaker” as his finisher and Arn, being an Anderson, was trained to focus on one body part (usually the arm) and just break it down. Arn has the strength advantage, while I think Del Rio would have the edge in speed and mat wrestling moves. It would easily go for a long time before anyone could achieve any kind of domination. And while there might be a lot of people that disagree, considering the differences in the levels of their success, I think in the end, it would be “Double A” who walked out on top and, as Dusty Rhodes used to say, took that trip to the pay window.

Winner: Arn Anderson

Barry Windham versus Bray Wyatt

Barry Windham against his nephew, Bray Wyatt. How cool is that. It would be a fun match to watch and the contrast in styles would make it even more interesting. Bray is the more interesting character and far more unorthadox in his wrestling, but we really haven’t had a chance to see what he can really do in a long match or against a variety of opponents. Barry is and was one of the best wrestlers of all time, who could either brawl or wrestle with the best of them. Bad gimmicks hurt his career, but in the ring, he took a back seat to no one. This would be fun to watch, but I don’t think anyone can argue who, if both men were to compete, would come out on top.

Winner: Barry Windham

And there you have it. The Horsemen win 5 of the matches, while the WWE Superstars take home 6 wins. Damn! I thought the Horsemen would do better, but it was the luck, or bad luck if you will, of the draw. Still, these were fun matches to analyze and think / write about.

And with that, I’m out of here. Thoughts and comments are welcome.

Ubuntu!

A friend of my mother’s recently wrote a letter to her local newspaper. This is the letter that she wrote…

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I am writing this article in reply to Mr. Roy Young’s theory about the Republicans, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News.

First of all, Mr. Young, where is your proof to back up your information to these things you speak of? I have watched Fox News for at least 10 years and find that they are the most reliable news source of news on television. They have been No. 1 in cable news for more than 13 years, and so has Bill O’Reilly, who tries to get to the bottom of things, and tries to help people who have been wronged.

To be exact, President Obama will only remain in office for two more years and about one month, as his term expires in Jan. 20, 2016, when the new president takes the oath of office. We sure do hope that a Republican is elected at that time, in order to get this country back on track, if there is any money left after the Democrats and the president gets done with his waste of government money. He wants to bankrupt this country, and is doing a good job of it so far.

The Republicans still have a lot of work to do. So don’t count on the Democrats too much in the coming year of 2014, as they have sided with the president on about every issue, including the Affordable Care Act, which they signed in the middle of the night, and implemented on March 23, 2010, and the president has refused to meet with the Republicans still, on other issues, as he seems to think he has the authority to do as he pleases without their consent. He is violating the Constitution every day. Also, don’t forget that he took out more than $500 billion dollars to finance his ACA and still plans on cutting Medicare.

So don’t blame the Republicans for everything. You should blame the Democrats for going along with him on legislative matters. So wise up, Mr. Young! Let’s put the blame where it belongs.

(The writer lives in Little River.)

And a few days later, in her mailbox, she opened it up to find this letter…

This isn’t the first time you’ve written some pathetic latter to the Sun News in defense of the raw sewage that passes for information at FOX “News”. Could it ever enter your dim mind that Hannity and Limbaugh and O’Reilly and the rest of those idiots are professional liars and paid propagandists for the Republican Party? After 10+ years of swallowing their filth, do you even have a functioning brain? Hey, you forgot to mention the “death panels”, you dumb old twat.

Jesus Christ, it took exactly ten sconds to determine that (name omitted) of Little River, SC is 81 YEARS OLD! Why does some elderly moron who is collecting Social Security and getting Medicare have a reason to oppose the Affordable Care Act? Well, the phrase “fucking hypocrite” does come to mind. Perhaps you’re suffering from senility, but in case you haven’t noticed, the Republican Party easily lost the elections of 2008 and 2012 and is FINISHED as a national party since you illiterate angry old white people are dying off in droves. Have no doubt that you will not live to see a Republican elected president in 2016 or any time after that, assuming that you’re still alive and stealing oxygen from somebody more deserving.

You profess to worry about the Government wasting money. Did you give one good Goddamn when the cretin George Bush and his cronies spent trillions of tax dollars to invade and occupy Iraq and Afghanistan, the longest and most unnecessary wars in the country’s history? Of course not; It didn’t affect you personally. Nobody in your family was killed or crippled. Asshole.

I was prepared to simply ignore your profound ignorance as just the rant of another stupid, selfish old person, but then I got to reading stuff like this:

“I was out on a business trip and I’m still catching up. Reading Soonergrunt’s post about his daughter reminded me of how I felt the day Obamacare passed. I was relieved because I knew that my daughter, who has a serious, lifelong pre-existing condition, will always be able to get insurance. Obamacare saved her, my wife, and me thousands of dolars and years of worry.

My dad is a lifelong Democrat because he felt that Roosevelt and the Democrats gave a shit about their kids during the Depression. I’m a Democrat because it’s clear who gives a shit about my kid, and none of them have an R after their name.

They don’t give a shit that hating gays leads to teen suicide.

They don’t give a shit if kids go hungry because food stamps were cut.

They don’t give a shit if teenagers can’t get birth control.

And they certainly don’t give a shit that a kid who has epilepsy, or Crohn’s, will be saddled with a life of worry over whether she’ll be able to buy insurance.

After all the noise over the website dies down, after the Republicans try to shut down the government three more times and vote to repeal another dozen times, this is what’s going to be left for thousands of American families: a man and a party that gave enough of a shit about them to endure a five year temper tantrum from a party that clearly has a broken give-a-shitter when it comes to children.”

I read that and tehn go back and read your swill again. It wakes we want to track down dispicable scum like you and bash in your worthless skull with a baseball bat. Maybe you could learn to sleep with one eye open, you evil old hag!

Here’s another opinion on vile people like you:

“Take all the shit characteristics that a human can possess – greed, violence, self-absorption, bigotry – all of them, EVERY shot characteristic that makes a human indecent; leave out every deent characteristic a human can possess – empathy, humility, honesty – all of them, and what you have, THAT being (not really human) is the prototypical modern day Republican: all crap, no redeeming value. Republicans are a pox on humanity and what it means to be human.”

May you and all the degenerates at FOX “News” die in a fire.

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Yes, she has contacted local law enforcement authorities in regards to this. I think that this, regardless of how a person thinks politically, is extremely disgusting and kind of frightening. Thoughts? Comments?