WWE Money In The Bank Thoughts & Predictions

WWE Money In The Bank Thoughts & Predictions
June 18, 2016

On Sunday night, the WWE will hold it’s annual Money In The Bank pay-per-view, live on the WWE Network. The card is stacked and looks as if it shall be a truly eventful night and one for the ages. Let’s put on the Jeanne Dixon mask and do some psychic style predicting and analysis. Are you ready? Let’s do this…

Roman Reigns defends the WWE Title against Seth Rollins

Regardless of who wins, this is going to be a tight and brutal slobber-knocker of a match. I’m glad to see Seth back in the ring after his injury and ready to jump right back into the main event picture. But that being said, should Seth be the next WWE Champion? Maybe, but not yet. Roman is growing into his role as the WWE Champion and I’d like to see him hold on to that title for a few more months at least. It’ll be a tight and solid match and they’ll try to steal the show, not an easy feat considering how many potentially 5-star matches are on this stacked event. I expect it’ll come down to a back and forth until the final seconds. Look for some shenanigans by Seth, only to have them backfire and allow Roman to pick up the win.

Winner and STILL WWE World Champion: Roman Reigns

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

AJ lost to Jericho at Wrestlemania XXXII. AJ lost to Roman last month at Extreme Rules. AJ can not afford another big loss this soon. Cena can win all day or lose all day and it won’t make a bit of difference because he’s John Cena. AJ needs to win here to stay strong. AJ will win here and pin Cena cleanly in the middle of the ring. ‘Nuff said!

Winner: AJ Styles

Money In The Bank Ladder Match: Chris Jericho versus Kevin Owens versus Sami Zayn versus Dean Ambrose versus Cesaro versus Alberto Del Rio

There are so many possibilities and ways for the WWE to go here. It won’t be Cesaro or Sami, even though they’re both awesome and deserving of a major push into the main events. Del Rio is back on his game and looking sharp these days, but I just don’t see him as the likely winner. Owens is the top mid-card to main event heel right now and has turned every event he participates in into the Kevin Owens show. He would be a great pick to win, but that would just be following the typical heel wins / cash in formula. So that leaves Ambrose or Jericho. Ambrose winning and then cashing in on his “brother” has a great feel to it. It’s what the fans want to see and wouldn’t a triple-threat match between Reigns, Rollins and Ambrose for the WWE Championship headlining SummerSlam be really cool? I think we’re ready for a swerve here. Chris Jericho “created” Money In The Bank. He’s never won “Money In The Bank” though. What the hell, it would be good to see. I’m calling it now. Money In The Bank is Jericho! Chris wins.

Winner: Chris Jericho

Fatal Four Way for the WWE Tag Team Titles: The New Day vs. The Club vs. Enzo and Cass vs. The Vaudevillians

And everyone thought that tag teams in the WWE were dead, right? The New Day is so over, they don’t need the tag team titles and actually would be better served to be chasing the gold instead of defending it. Enzo and Cass are on the rise and looking great. They’re bonifide G’s and you can’t teach that! They don’t need the gold right now either. How about this? The Club beats the Vaudevillians and wins the tag team titles. It gives the Club credibility. It keeps the New Day strong since they didn’t actually get beat to lose the titles. Enzo and Cass stay strong too and the Vaudevillians take the fall, but it gives them a reason to step up their game and seek retribution against everyone. It’s all win here. New tag team champs are “The Club”… and you can’t teach that! By the way, if the Vaudevillians are “old-school” and “retro”, why not give them an old-school style manager to increase their marketability. I don’t think Christian is doing anything these days and who would know tag team wrestling better than the man once known as “Captain Charisma”? Just saying…

Winners and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions: The Club

Rusev defends the US Title against Titus O’Neil

Rusev is getting his groove back and looking great. Titus is a tough hombre and has a big future ahead of him, but this isn’t his time. Not yet. Rusev retains.

Winner and STILL United States Champion: Rusev w/ Lana

Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs. Natalya and Becky Lynch

Charlotte is so awesome and they stick her in a tag team match? Really? I think Becky will turn on Natayla and join Charlotte and Dana as Charlotte sets the seeds to form her own version of the “Four Horsewomen”. Go find a video of the Barry Windham betrayal of Lex Luger when Windham joined the Horsemen. Wash! Rinse! Repeat! It’s going to happen sooner or later. I’m saying sooner.

Winners: Charlotte and Dana Brooke

Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin needs to win and win convincingly. Dolph needs to be laid out, beaten down, injured and put on the shelf for a few weeks at least. If that doesn’t happen, they may as well send Corbin back down to NXT and wait a year or so to try it again. His current main roster run has been ho-hum at best and the man is capable of so much more than he’s been given. Look for a Ziggler slaughter and beatdown. Corbin has to win.

Winner: Baron Corbin

Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

Speaking of ho-hum runs, Apollo Crews’ WWE debut and run thus far has left a great deal to be desired. Watching him perform, it’s as if he was called up way too soon and could use another six months to a year in NXT first. It should be an okay match I think Sheamus should (and will) get the win. Crews has a good look, but he’s just not cutting it yet.

Winner: Sheamus
.
Kickoff Show:

Tyler Breeze & Fandango vs. Goldust & R-Truth

FaBreeze versus Truth-Dust. This is actually one of the more interesting matches (for me anyhow) on the card. It’ll be short, mostly comedy and not considered of any kind of importance, but I’d love to see these four men come out and just steal the show. Breeze and Fandango could be a fun team to push towards the mid-card and top and Dustin / Truth… they’re always on their game and ready to work. It looks as if Breeze and Fandango have won most of the on-television battles, so with that in mind, I think we’ll see Truth and Goldust win this match. And that, my friends, is “What’s Up!!!”.

Winners: Goldust and R-Truth – The Golden Truth

The Lucha Dragons vs. The Dudley Boyz

It seems as if every time I turn around these days, the Dudley Boyz are losing, be it on TV, house shows, etc. They even lost on a recent house show to the team of Dolph Ziggler and Zack Ryder. If it was anyone else, I’d say they probably should be expecting a phone call from talent-relations before long. But it’s Bubba Ray and Devon and this match could be the start of something good. Don’t call it a comeback, but I will call it the Lucha Dragons taking a trip to the land of the extreme.

Winners: The Dudley Boyz

And there you go. My predictions for WWE Money In The Bank, coming live tomorrow night on pay-per-view and the WWE Network. Am I right? Am I wrong? How will the night go for the WWE and their superstars? Will the Social Outcasts make an appearance? I hope so. We’ll find out all of this tomorrow.

Thank you for reading. Comments and thoughts are welcome. Take care and I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: June 8, 2016

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
June 8, 2016
Doug Maynard
How you doing? Hell must have frozen over. Well, with Trump and Hillary as the two presumptive nominees for the office of President of the United States, it’s pretty much the same thing because it’s definitely hell for our country for at least the next four years. And why do I say that? Because they both suck! Oh wait, wrong topic. I say that hell must have frozen over because I am back and ready to talk the talk and walk the walk about the world’s greatest sport, professional wrestling. This is the return of “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News”, professional wrestling’s most eclectic column since 2002.

(Crickets chirping)

All-righty then. Let’s go over the agenda for today’s column and maybe we can get some excitement generated up in this place. Holla if you hear me!

(Crickets continue to chirp…)

I’m going to do predictions… lots and lots of predictions. Not only are we going to analyze and discuss the matches for tonight’s epic show, “WWE NXT Takeover: The End”, which airs tonight exclusively on the WWE Network, but I’m also going to have a few thoughts and some predictions for TNA Slammiversary, which airs live on pay-per-view and will probably be watched by absolutely none of you this upcoming Sunday night. Add a few random comments and thoughts about other different items of interest currently happening in and around our wrestling world and this might actually turn out to be a good column. I guess we’ll find out, won’t we? So, as the great Snitsky would say, “It’s not my fault!”. Let’s do this…

Before I begin, I want to offer my condolences to the friends, family and fans of the great Muhammad Ali, who passed away last week. A great boxer, a great showman and a great human being, Ali was truly an iconic figure and legend both in and out of that ring. He will be missed.

And also, my condolences to the friends and family of Kimbo Slice. A unique character who made his mark in both street fighting and MMA, there was only one. He will be missed. Rest In Peace, Kimbo.

And now…

STUFF…

Brock Lesnar is returning to the UFC to fight against Mark Hunt at UFC 200. This will be a one-time deal and Brock firmly remains under contract to WWE and is scheduled to participate at SummerSlam later this year. The way I understand it, Brock wanted to go back to UFC and give that part of his career some closure since he wasn’t satisfied with the way it ended. He spoke with WWE Owner Vince McMahon (and allegedly arm-wrestled him for the opportunity) and UFC Owner Dana White, the details were worked out and now, it’s Lesnar versus Hunt at UFC 200. Win, lose or draw (but preferably win), this is a great deal for WWE and if I was Vince McMahon, I’d make sure that the WWE fingerprints were all over this event. Have Paul Heyman walk with Lesnar to the ring. Have WWE Superstars placed in the audience to support Lesnar. This event will help promote Lesnar as a legitimate fighter and athlete and give the same rub of legitimacy to the WWE as well. Plus it helps promote the WWE product, the upcoming SummerSlam ppv event and everything else that is WWE. And most importantly, it keeps Brock Lesnar happy. This is big and exciting news that will hopefully have WWE fans watching UFC 200, UFC fans watching the WWE product, and I plan to watch both… because that’s how I roll.

It was great to see Teddy Long back on RAW this past Monday night. The idea of Long showing up to apply for the job of General Manager for Smackdown when it goes live on July 19th was fun to see and entertaining. Since we have ten more episodes of RAW and Smackdown coming up before Smackdown goes live and the brand split occurs, I’d love to see more former General Managers from both RAW and Smackdown keep showing up and trying to get their feet in the door to be the next Smackdown GM. We saw Teddy on Monday night. So how about Vickie Guerrero, Mike Adamle, Eric Bischoff, John Laurinaitis, Val Venis, Mick Foley, etc, all start showing up next. JBL used to be the General Manager for NXT, so he could make his presence felt. William Regal is the current NXT General Manager, but what if he “wants a promotion”? HBK was the WWE Commissioner for a while, as was Sgt. Slaughter so have them pop up. And if they really wanted to go crazy, how about Ernest “The Cat” Miller, Ric Flair or Sting? “The Cat” was the Commissioner in WCW for a long while and both Ric and Sting have “President of WCW” on their resumes. WWE just needs to run with it and have fun with it in the build to the brand split when Smackdown goes live and using all these past names looking for a chance to be the boss once more would be a great way to do just that.

And now, let’s go get crazy and prepare to channel The Amazing Criswell because it’s prediction time. We’re talking NXT Takeover: The End, coming live tonight from Full Sail University in Winter Park, Florida, exclusively on the WWE Network. Five matches have been announced and it’s a packed show from start to finish. Let’s do this…

WWE NXT Takeover: The End Predictions…

NXT World Heavyweight champion Samoa Joe vs. Finn Balor: Steel Cage Match

I kind of like that they’ve decided to go old-school with a steel cage match as a way to wrap up their feud. If I’m correct, this will be the first time that the NXT Championship has been defended inside a steel cage. That’s pretty cool. Historical note: When Ric Flair defeated Harley Race at Starcade 83 to capture the NWA World Championship, it was the first time that the NWA World Championship changed hands in a cage match. So will this match have the same historical precedence and will the NXT Title change hands? I don’t think so. Balor is ready to move up to the WWE main roster (perhaps as part of the Bullet Club?) and it’s time to have Joe move on to another challenger, rumored to be Shinsuke Nakamura, at the next NXT Takeover event. I expect to see a brutal and violent match and it wouldn’t even surprise me to see a little juice at some point during the match. It’s on the Network and not WWE TV so it could happen. And in the end, a bruised, battered and sore Samoa Joe will have that arm raised in victory with a successful defense of his championship.

Winner and STILL NXT Champion: Samoa Joe

NXT Women’s champion Asuka vs. Nia Jax

Honestly, this match, along with the Aries / Nakamura match, is the one I’m most excited to see. Nia Jax is coming along so well and is amazing in that ring. And Asuka is in a league of her own. I love her character and once the brand split in the WWE occurs, I hope to see her on that main stage stealing the show night after night. As for now, this match should be off the charts, but it’s not time yet to do a title switch, especially since there is so much left to do with Bayley when she’s ready to return. The Asuka / Bayley rivalry hasn’t even really gotten started yet and I want to see that come to a proper conclusion before everyone moves on. Look for Nia to freak out in frustration and get DQ’ed or something of that nature. Asuka retains the NXT Women’s Title and takes that belt home tonight though.

Winner (by DQ) and STILL NXT Women’s Champion: Asuka

NXT Tag Team Champions American Alpha (Chad Gable and Jason Jordan) vs, The Revival (Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder)

Two great tag teams that I would gladly watch all day long and twice on Sunday. I don’t really have a favorite here, but I think that, (just barely), American Alpha are the hotter team right now. I prefer the old-school style of the Revival and they remind me of Arn and Tully to a point. Great wrestlers and a great team. No title switch here though. I think, after a clinic of tag team wrestling that would make Jim Cornette smile, American Alpha squeak out with the win and retain their titles.

Winners and STILL NXT Tag Team Champions: American Alpha

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Austin Aries

This is going to be the match of the night and steal the show. Both men are so good and move so well in that ring, it could honestly and easily go either way and it wouldn’t be an upset. But something is telling me that there is contention for gold in Nakamura’s future and it’s not very far away. And for that reason only, I’m giving him the edge tonight. There will be no losers in this match tonight, but Shinsuke will be the man to have his arm raised at the end of the night.

Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura

Andrade ‘Cien’ Almas vs. Tye Dillinger

Dillinger has been on fire as of late and looking great. Almas, if I’m correct, is making his NXT debut tonight and has had some strong praise from the likes of Triple H himself and William Regal, so he should be there to make an impact and impress. Tough call here, but if the new kid loses his first match, the push is dead almost immediately. Thus, this one goes to Andrade “Cien” Almas. Yep, that’s how I see it.

Winner: Andrade “Cien” Almas

So that’s how I see things going for “NXT Takeover: The End” tonight in Florida. I may be right or I may be wrong, but we’ll find out tonight, exclusively on the WWE Network. Let’s move on with more stuff…

MORE STUFF…

I think it’s time for ACW Wrestling Icon Ethan Storm to come out of his semi-retirement and step foot inside that squared circle once more. Just saying…

The contract signing between Matt and Jeff Hardy their upcoming match at TNA Slammiversary was… interesting. It was weird and quirky and every bit of cheezy, but at the same time, I found it fascinating. Matt Hardy’s character as of late, with the accent, the crazed expressions and the whole “Brother Nero” bit, is hard to ignore. Jeff is just being Jeff and that works since Matt is so over the top right now. The only thing I didn’t like about the video was the bit with Reby tossing the baby at Jeff. That should have been saved for the match. And that table that Matt crashed Jeff through? Where did they find that table with the solid top? In Grandma Hardy’s barn? And it didn’t give a bit when Jeff hit it and the top broke off. OUCH! Watching the whole “directors cut” edition of that video made me smile though. And from somewhere up in movie heaven, I know that Ed Wood is looking down and smiling too.

After the brand split, there will be no reason for the WWE Powers-That-Be to continue to ignore Heath Slater, Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas, the Social Outcasts. Just for the mic work alone, I want to see a feud between the Outcasts and the New Day. I don’t know why the WWE doesn’t see it, but that would be money!

Thinking on my earlier comment about having former GM’s and authority figures show up on RAW and Smackdown to try to get a job, I just remembered that Zack Ryder was Teddy Long’s “assistant” for a month or so at one point. So… Zack Ryder as the GM for a night on RAW or Smackdown? That’d be fun to see. Woo woo woo – you know it!

How about unnanounced, surprise appearance by former “Guest Hosts”, who start showing up and trying to take control of RAW or Smackdown, only to have Stephanie or Shane give them the boot? People like Bob Barker, Betty White, Seth Green, Kevin Federline, etc. Folks who get it. It would be great publicity for some of them and would catch the eyes of social media. It’s something to think about.

I still think that Lisa Moretti, aka former WWE Superstar / Diva / Womens Champion “Ivory”, needs to have her own podcast.

G.L.O.W. is coming back to TV. Well, to Netflix anyhow as word is that they’ve ordered a trial series of ten episodes based on the former women’s wrestling organization. I hope that some of the former stars, such as the previously mentioned Lisa Moretti, who actually got her start in that company before moving on to the WWE, have roles and make appearances in the new series. I’m definitely looking forward to this.

And now, it’s time to go all fake-Jamaica and do that “Sister Cleo” thing. Are you ready for some TNA Slammiversary Predictions? Let’s do this…

TNA Slammiversary 2016: Thoughts and Predictions…

Before I get started on this, I have a confession to make. I don’t watch TNA or Impact Wrestling. If I could, I probably would just to see the Hardys and their craziness and Drew Galloway, who was a favorite of mind from the WWE, but I don’t get POP TV or whatever channel that is that they’re on so I have to rely on YouTube and wrestling websites, such as PWBTS.com, to get my TNA jollies. So I’m not as informed and knowledgable of some of these folks and their current storylines as I should be, but I’m doing the best I can based on what I know and have to go by. So now you know. Let’s make some predictions.

TNA champion Drew Galloway vs. Bobby Lashley: Submission or KO only.

Lashley is a tough hombre and since he’s also a MMA fighter, the advantage has to be in his corner for this match. But Galloway is awesome and the WWE was crazy to let him go when they did. TNA has given him the ball and he’s headed straight for that end-zone each and every time he gets in that ring. I think that we’ll see some slight of hand sneakiness in play and Drew will show why he deserves to be the TNA World Champion. He’ll be in a fight for his life, but will snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Winner and STILL TNA World Champion: Drew Galloway

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy: Full Metal Mayhem.

So Matt has gone crazy. Jeff has always been out there and this past week on Impact, brought back the “Willow” persona. I didn’t even know that Jeff was a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. Two brothers with full trust to go as crazy as they can and put on a match that will be remembered forever. Add in Reby Sky (Matt’s wife) and most likely, the currently undefeated Maxel Hardy (less than a year old and already holds a pinfall victory over the Disco Inferno), and anything can and will most likely happen. I’m thinking Jeff will throw the match to get his brother back… or something like that. Anyhow, look for the true “First Family of Wrestling”, Matt, Reby and Maxel, to walk away as the winners.

Winner: Matt Hardy

TNA Knockouts champion Jade vs. Sienna.

I’m not overly familiar with either of these ladies, but based on the few matches I’ve seen on YouTube, I think Jade will retain.

Winner and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Jade

TNA Tag Team champions Decay vs. The Bromans.

Decay are okay, but the few matches I’ve seen just don’t do anything for me. The Bromans, I like and always have since their inception. But trying to think like a TNA official (“Yes Dixie! That’s a great idea, Dixie! Let me kiss that, Dixie!” You’re the best Dixie!”), I think if they were going to put the belts on the Bromans, it already would have happened. So look for the champions to retain.

Winners and STILL TNA Tag Team Champions: Decay

TNA X-Division champion Trevor Lee vs. Eddie Edwards vs. DJ Zema vs. Andrew Everett.

It’s time for a title change and while I enjoy Trevor Lee and his work, I think this will be the match where a belt changes hands. Everett, I’m totally unfamiliar with so he’s out. Edwards is damn good and I remember watching him on YouTube a few years ago. He’s a possibility to win, but I’m going to go with DJ Zema here. There’s something about him and he’s damn sexxxy and hot! I’d love to have him as my next big life mistake. Damn!!! So Zema wins and we get a new X-Division Champion.

Winner and NEW TNA X-DIvision Champion: DJ Zema

TNA King of the Mountain champion Eli Drake vs. Bram.

I thought Jeff Jarrett had snuck in and gotten / won the King of the Mountain title? I guess I missed something and TNA managed to get it back. Oh well, whatever. Both men here are good talents and fun to watch in the ring. Bram had a few legal problems not so long ago, if I recall correctly, and I think he still might be on some kind of top secret, double-duty, probation with TNA officials as a result, thus I’m picking Eli Drake to retain.

Winner and STILL TNA King of Mountain Champion: Eli Drake

Mike Bennett vs. EC3.

The WWE was stupid to let Mike Bennett and Maria slip away when they had a chance to sign them away from ROH a few months ago (thank you Bellas), but it’s TNA’s gain. Bennett versus EC3 should be one helluva match. It’s kind of sad it’s on TNA because that means not so many people will be able to enjoy it, but I’m sure it will be one for the ages. It could go either way, but I think that EC3 needs it more than Bennett at this point, especially if Bennett gets some kind of retaliation after the match. My money for this one is on EC3.

Winner: EC3

Maria Kanellis vs. Gail Kim.

Who would have ever thought we’d be seeing Maria wrestle Gail Kim on a pay-per-view? Maria has come a long, long way since her early days in WWE and reminds me so much of Trish Stratus in her growth in that ring. This should be a fun match to watch and I definitely expect to see Maria give as good as she gets. And while Kim is definitely the better and more experienced wrestler, I think we’ll see some outside shenanigans and Mike Bennett get involved. And Maria will walk out with the win.

Winner: Maria

Grado and Mahabali Shera vs. The Tribunal with Al Snow

I’m not familiar with either team, but the Tribunal has Al Snow in their corner. I’m very familiar with Al Snow. Thus, I think the Tribunal will get the win.

Winners: The Tribunal w/ Al Snow

And with that, I think it’s time to call it a day. This is the first wrestling column I’ve written in a couple of months, instead spending the majority of my writing time working on fan-fiction stories about super-heroes, vampires and WWE Superstars. This was fun and a good start to getting back into the game. By the way, if you want to read some of my stories, go to FanFiction.net and look me up under the tag of TSFiction19. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. And I’m on Twitter at @doug28352 and Facebook at Facebook.com/saltpalace. Come find me and let’s chat!

Anything else? Nah, I don’t think so. Thanks for reading. I’m Doug and as the great Baron Von Raschke would say, “dat is all de people need to know!” Have a great one and I’ll see you at the matches.

Ubuntu!

Thinking About Stuff…

It has been so freakin’ long since I just sat down and cut loose with a rambling rant about this, that and everything under the sun. I used to do it quite regularly and it felt good. Real good! And since I have a little free time right now before I head out to go to work, what the hell? Let’s just go for it, right? Nothing too major or seious here, but just the topics of the day and a quick thought for each topic. Are you ready? I said, ARE YOU READY? DX makes it look so easy on television. Anyhow…

The whole deal with the kid falling in the gorilla section at the zoo and the zoo officials putting down the gorilla. It’s sad and the gorilla deserved better, but it was the right call and had to be done. The mother of the child needs to be smacked a few times for not keeping proper control of her child, especially when several reports claim that the child had made it very clear that he intended to try and get into the gorilla area. The mother was slacking and is partially at fault for that, but if it comes down to a split second decision about protecting a kid or killing a gorilla, the gorilla will always lose.

Donald Trump is an orange skinned, lying, two faced bully and ego-maniac. It’s sad and crazy that of all the people in our nation, he has managed to bully and spend his way to being just this close to the office of President of the United States. He’s a disaster waiting to happen and it doesn’t speak well of our country that he has so many supporters and fans. But all of that being said, he’s still a better choice than Hillary Clinton.

The bathroom question: If you have a penis, use the men’s room. If you have a vagina, use the women’s room. Or find a bathroom that is single person and then it really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter anyhow because how did people use the public restrooms for the past 200 years? Just keep doing what you’ve been doing. All of this is a political smokescreen to keep us all distracted from the real issues that really matter. While we’re arguing about transgenders, who compose roughly .03% of the population.. or maybe it’s .30%, I can’t remember for sure… but less than 1% of the population, what is Washington doing behind our backs? What new policies and laws are being put in place? What rights are being stripped away from us? They gain more power over us and we are less and less a free people… but at least people will be able to use the public restroom of their choice, right?

And for the musical artists who are “boycotting” NC because of their opposition to the so-called “Bathroom Bill”, the only people you’re hurting are your fans and the people who have absolutely nothing to do with that bill. They’re just the average joes trying to make a living and support their families. Think about that for a bit… losers!

On the local front, our City Council wants to spend between 5 and 7 million dollars on a new City Hall and a new police station. But our county is # 1 in unemployment for the state and we already have the highest property taxes of any county in NC as well. But none of that matters to our local elected officials. Why not? Conccentrate on getting the school dropout rate down, the number of teen pregnancies down, the unemployment rate down and the taxes that we’re forced to pay down first and when all of that is said and done, when Scotland County is thriving again and there are not several dozen empty buildings all up and down Main Street and when businesses are actually encouraged to come to Laurinburg instead of being driven away by the taxs and the “good old boy” network that holds a monopoly on this town…when all of that is said and done, then you can worry about City Hall and the police station. What we have works and is sufficent for our county’s needs. Deal with the real problems first before trying to fix what isn’t broken.

I want two new tattoos. One would be a championship wrestling title belt shaped like the original “big gold belt” of WCW, paying homage to my wrestling column “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News”, which I’ve been writing, off and on, since 2002. The other would be Marvin Martian.

Some people like muscles and firm, chiseled bodies. I like Dad-bods! Just saying.

Thoughts on kids: Kids should have a regular time to go to bed at night, a regular time for meals, a regular time for a nightly bath, do chores, and be taught to listen and do what they’re told, no arguments allowed. Kids need structure and routine in their lives when they’re small or else they won’t have it when they get older and will wind up being unruly, chaotic and brats.

Ringo Starr is the coolest Beatle. Paul is the most talented over all. And neither of them are Alice Cooper. Just saying.

And that’s all for now. I have to get ready for work. Time to sell that liquor and get this town all turnt up. More ramblings and rantings coming soon. Have a nice day!

Ubuntu!top-10-listverse-mistakes

Social Outcasts:Advice (WWE Fan Fic)

A/N:  The Social Outcasts receive some practical advice from a legend.

 

Sitting in a small dressing room, Curtis Axel, HeathSlater and Bo Dallas are together, looking over the format for the evening’s show.

“Looks like we’re jobbing again tonight to the Vaudevillians”. Axel sighed as he glanced over at Bo Dallas, who was texting on his phone.

“Again?”, Dallas asked, not even bothering to look up.

“Man, this sucks!”, Slater mumbled.

A loud knock on the door interrupted thdark and sour mood.

“Come on in”, Slater yelled at the door.

The dressing room door opened and in, moving slowly, but still standing tall with pride and dignity, walked a historic and legendary figure.

“Can I speak to you guys for a minute”, the man standing before them asked.

“Yes sir”, Axel said, quickly standing to give the man a place to sit down. Slater and Dallas quickly followed suit, but the man standing in the door just waved his hands and signaled them to sit back down.

“I’ve been watching you guys for a while”, the man said. “Hell, I’ve known you, Joe, and you, Bo, since you were babies. And Slater, I’ve known you for what now… ten years?”

“Almost”, Heath smiled.

“Anyhow, I’m going to be blunt here. Why the hell are you guys getting buried every night?”

All three men started to talk, but the man standing there shushed them with a look.

“I don’t get it! I don’t get it at all. I look at you guys. I know you guys! Hell, I helped train you, Joe and you’re damn good! You’re a third generation superstar and your grandpa… you dad… were two of the very best of all time and you’re just as good if not better.”

The man turned to Bo.

“And you’re so damn good too! I watched you grow up and watched you perform in NXT! I’ve been in the ring with your daddy, your uncles, your grandpa… man, he was a tough bastard… and I look at you and see so much potential and talent.”

And then the man looked at Heath.

“So good in that ring. A good talker and comedy wrestler, but I watched you coming up, as part of Nexus and teaming with Gabriel and showing that tough side. You are the perfect baby-face and remind me so much of Tommy Rich, but you’re so much better in that ring…”

“Thank you sir!”, Heath smiled again.

“I know what you can do and what you’re capable of. I just want to know why you’re getting buried and spending all your time back here in the locker room instead of being the go-to guys out there on TV.”

“They just see us as comedy and jobbers”, Dallas said.

“We don’t have the stroke with the writers”, Axel said. “And can’t get the push!”

“”Any suggestions?”, Slater asked.

“Damn right I do”, the legend replied. “You guys are called what… the Social Outcasts?”

“Yes sir”, Dallas said.

“Well, take advantage of that social media you guys use so much. In my day, we just had one booker or boss to talk to and I could always get the angles and work with who I want. Now you have writers and agents and then Steph and Shane and all sorts of hoops and ladders before you even get to Vince.”

“It’s crazy”, Axel admitted. “And if even one person decides to work against you or doesn’t like you, it’s pretty hopeless.”

“Well, here’s what I thinjk you should do. Get more serious in the ring. Joking and playing is fine. Look at the New Day. But in that ring, despite what the agent might say or the writers suggest, be serious. Don’t make anyone too mad and do what you’re told, but don’t act like it doesn’t matter. If you lose, show frustration and anger. The fans will notice and pick up on it. Use that social media to win the fans over, suggest and tease feuds, and live up to your name with the Social Outcasts trending constantly. Vince will eventually notice.”

“That makes sense”, Dallas admitted. “Grandpa told me something similar last summer when I was down at the farm and we were talking about my career.”

“I’m surprised your Grandpa didn’t tell you to storm Vince’s office and demand a strong push”, the legend said.

“Actually, he did mention that too, but Dad warned me that it would probably hurt more than help right now”, Dallas laughed.

“Well, let him know that you are serious and want to be used, want to make an impact and contribute in a bigger role. To hell with those snot-nosed punk writers. If you see Vince or Steph or Hayes or even Patterson around, approach them and give them your ideas, your suggestions, and so forth. Be polite and respectful, but if you’re there enough, they’re liable to use you for something just to get you to leave them alone. And if they give you the ball, run with it and score a touchdown. Once you’ve done that, you’re good to go.”

“You really think that’d work”, Slater asked.

The legend threw him a look and Slater just sat back and nodded, remaining silent.

“I have to go”, the man said. “I’ll mention to Vince and Linda at dinner tonight that I’d love to see him do more with the three of you. And I want to see you guys step up and grab that ball too! If I don’t see the Social Outcasts in contention for the tag team titles or in a major storyline within the next six months, I’m going to be pissed off… and nobody wants that!”

“No sir… not at all”, Axel agreed.

“So think about what I’ve said. And Joe, have your Grandpa call me this weekend.”

“Yes sir”, Axel said as he got up to hug the older, respected legend.

And with nods to Dallas and Slater, WWE Hall of Famer and former 8-time NWA World Heavyweight Champion Harley Race turned and walked from the room.

“Guys, I think it’s time to quit playing and get serious”, Slater said after the door closed.

“I think we need to get something going with the New Day… or maybe those new guys, Enzo and Cass”, Dallas said.

“I’m going to walk over to the Vaudevillian’s dressing room”, Axel said. “I’ll talk to them and Jamie and we’ll make this a match for the ages tonight.”

“Think they’ll put us over?”, Dallas asked, a small smile of hope on his face.

“Probably not”, Axel said. “But we can still steal the show and turn some heads!”

“Sounds good!”, Slater smiled. “Let’s make Harley proud!”

“Let’s make Vince take notice”, Dallas added.

“And let’s take that ball and run a touchdown”, Axel finished. “Time to put everyone in the company on notice.”

“The Social Outcasts trending worldwide”, Dallas replied.

“And as Enzo and Cass like to say, and you can’t teach that!”, Slater finished.

*** Finish ***