10 Days Of Dougie – Day 4: Day Dreaming, One Night Stands and Ebony & Ivory…

Ten Days Of Dougie – Day 4
Day Dreaming, One Night Stands And Ebony & Ivory
September 30, 2017
DougMaynard.com

It is way too early on a Saturday morning. Hell, it’s not even morning yet actually as I haven’t even been to bed yet…

And I wrote that and then went to bed. Okay, not really. I wrote that, answered a tapping on my living room window, dealt with a little bit of drama as true colors showed themselves and a “fun little diversion from life” turned into what Chris Jericho would refer to as a “Stupid Idiot!”. I pulled a Barney Fife and nipped it in the bud pretty quickly and then actually did go to bed. And this little column, this little project, was ignored and cast aside for a few hours. And now I’m up (again) and getting ready for work and instead of my usual “get dressed, eat, daydream for a hour, go to work routine”, I’m now sitting at my computer and writing this. Oh vey, this is going to be a long day.

And now, before I do anything else, let’s find that “Magic Bag” and get to picking. What are the topics of the day? We have day dreaming, one night stands and “Ebony & Ivory”. Okay, I think I’ve got this. It’s Day 4 and away we go…

Day Dreaming…

I am one of the world’s worst about sitting around and letting my mind wander, aka “day dreaming”. I can be engaged in a conversation (listening to someone just go on and on and on, much like I do with these blogs when I’m pissed off or in a mood) and just totally zone out with my thoughts and mind millions of miles away. And usually, they’ll never know. So what great dreams or thoughts occupy my mind when I go into one of these spells? Sometimes, it’s looking at a person and constructing in my mind, a whole different life or identity for that person, not who they really are, but who I think they could be. Sometimes, it’s my mind working on a story or fiction or future blog that may or may not get written at some point in the immediate future. Sometimes, I’m having memories of what we would call the “good old days” and my so-called “glory days”. And sometimes, I’m just thinking about what I’ll be having for lunch or dinner. When the mind starts to wander, anything is possible and it can go anywhere, unhampered by physical restrictions of even logic. And sometimes, in the middle of the day, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of real life, reality and that loud woman screaming “how much is dis?”, it’s a great escape. It’s a tool to keep it real and keep sane. Always a wonderful thing.

One Night Stands…

Sometimes, you just have to say “what the hell!” and be a little reckless or take a crazy chance. And if it involves another person and a little “knock out the cobwebs and casual, no commitment booty”, that’s what we call a “One Night Stand”. You don’t really have to know this person or have any kind of real relationship with the person, but you both have an itch to be scratched and have mutually agreed to serve as the “back-scratcher” for the other. Some people are not comfortable with this kind of situation and I get that. It’s not for everyone and I’m not saying that it’s right or wrong, but it is what it is and sometimes, the arms of a stranger, even if it’s just for one night, can be mighty comforting and necessary. If it’s two adults and neither are in a relationship, what happens in Vegas, right? Sounds like a plan to me and I say, “What the hell? Have fun and go crazy!”. And there’s not a thing wrong with that. ‘Nuff said!

And finally…

Ebony and Ivory…

It was the title of a song by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney, performed way back in the early 80’s, that promoted racial harmony and togetherness. It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white, we’re all brothers and in this together. That’s a great thought and concept and something that seems to have been forgotten in these days of BLM, taking a knee, statues being removed and everyone playing that damn race card. The song said it very well. Here are the lyrics…

Ebony and Ivory (written by Paul McCartney)

Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord, why don’t we?

We all know that people are the same where ever we go
There is good and bad in ev’ryone,
We learn to live, we learn to give
Each other what we need to survive together alive.

Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh lord why don’t we?

Ebony, ivory living in perfect harmony
Ebony, ivory, ooh

We all know that people are the same where ever we go
There is good and bad in ev’ryone,
We learn to live, we learn to give
Each other what we need to survive together alive.

Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh lord why don’t we?

Ebony, ivory living in perfect harmony (repeat and fade)

I think more people these days need to listen to this song and learn this. We’re all the same and the color of skin is a stupid reason for hatred and discrimination. If you want to hate someone, do it because they’re an idiot or obnoxious or belong on “the list”, reasons that matter. Maybe it’s time that someone did a remake of this song and spread some common sense and love for a change. Wait a moment. Promote racial harmony and unity. Promote brotherhood? In today’s America? What the hell am I thinking? Someone will probably call me racist for even suggesting that, what with my “white privilege” and all that. Hey Stevie and Paul, it’s time to get back into the studio and do a Part II for this song. If America doesn’t need it now, I don’t know when would be better.

And I’m through. I have to go get ready for work. Back tomorrow with Day 5 of 10. Have a great day and if you live in Laurinburg, four words for you. “No New City Hall!”. Until the next time, thoughts and comments are welcome. Take care.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 tawondr ccartney

20 Question Survey – September 29, 2017

20 Question Survey

1. Do you make your bed every morning? Of course… well, kind of straighten it, sort of…

2. What was your first vehicle? Toyota Corolla

3. What two grocery items do you try never to run out of? Peanut Butter & Caffeine

4. At what age did you start doing your own laundry? Probably around 12 or 13…

5. If you could, would you go back to high school? Damn skippy I would…

6. Can you parallel park in under 3 moves? I probably could, but why bother. Give me a real parking spot or I’ll just keep driving.

7. A job you once had which would surprise everybody? Newspaper route

8. Do you like Sushi? Nope

10. Guilty TV Pleasure? Golden Girls… lol

11. Pets names? Goldy is my feline fur baby… We also have about a dozen strays that live here (off and on), but the names I usually call them are too rude to be posted here… lol

12. What was your last meal? Taco Salad

13. Sweet or salty? Salty

14. Shoe size? 12

15. Have you been in a fist fight? Many times

16. Something people do that drives you crazy? Exist… lol

18. Something you love to do that others hate? Get sloppy drunk and become an obnoxious “sex freak”.

19. Who annoys you the most? Loud-ass people

20. First thing you remember wanting to be? Super Hero, followed by a weather man.

Copy and paste. I would love to see your answer!

@ 00 survey meme template

10 Days Of Dougie – Day 3: Dream House, The Lottery & Create A TV Show…

Ten Days Of Dougie – Day 3
Dream House, The Lottery & Create A TV Show…
September 29, 2017
DougMaynard.com

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, finally starting to cool off a little bit. And it’s Friday. Should I start singing the old George Jones classic, “It’s Finally Friday”? Nah, probably not. I’ll save everyone’s ears and just sing it inside my head. You’re welcome. Let’s go ahead and get to the reason we’re all here and that is Day 3 of the epic “Ten Days Of Dougie” series. Where did I put that “Magic Bag”?

I found the bag. Now, let’s open it up and find out what the topics of discussion will be for today. We have Dream Houses, Winning the Lottery and Create A TV Show. Interesting topics to be sure. Now let’s get busy and see what I can do with them. Let’s do this…

Dream Houses…

Everyone has that one particular house engraved in their minds that they feel would be perfect. It’s their dream house, built and designed to cater to their every desire, need, practical use and fantasy. We all have them and I guess this is my opportunity to describe what my own personal dream house would look like. Have you ever seen the mansion “Collinwood”, from the TV series “Dark Shadows”. In a lot of ways, that would pretty much cover it. Over 40 rooms, magestic and yet brooding, the sounds of the nearby ocean echoing through the air. And that’d be nice for a while in theory, but in reality, it’d be too much and I’d get tired of it pretty quickly. Too big and lonely, especially when it’s taken into consideration that I’m not a huge “people person” and would probably be living alone or with only one or two others at the max. I’m a simple man with simple tastes so I wouldn’t really ask for much in a “dream home”. I don’t need a mansion, but more like an old farm house in the country. Plenty of land, preferably woods and a small lake or pond. Far enough away from town to be private and peaceful, but close enough to be practical. As for the house itself, maybe four bedrooms, three baths, a nice open kitchen and dining area where I can partake in and practice my cooking skills. A couple of fireplaces and a good sized office and library where I can go to relax and create. Plenty of cats and maybe even a dog or two and I’m set. And there you go.

Winning The Lottery…

And just like that dream house, another big idea in most people’s minds is to one day win that big Powerball payoff and win the lottery. Yes, I want to win it too. And what would I do if I managed to score about a hundred and sixty million dollars, give or take a few dollars? I would do this. After getting an investment lawyer to help manage the money and take care of all of the B.S., my first act would be to pay off all my old bills. Yes, I hate being in debt or owing money and that would be a big priority. And then, Step 2 would be paying off my Mom’s house and making sure that she and my siblings, both by blood and by life (they know who they are) are well taken care of. A certain amount would go immediately into the bank to be considered “untouchable” and “for emergencies only”, thus it could generate interest and keep growing. And then the fun starts. A nice donation to Hope In Christ, the food bank where I’ve volunteered and worked for the past ten years and a decent, reliable car. Nothing fancy because I’m not a flashy or fancy person, but something dependable, roomy, comfortable and that I feel suits me. And a 1972 VW Bug with the convertible top just because. That dream house I spoke of earlier, would be mine and a nice condo down in Wilmington, NC would be mine as well. One good shopping spree with no limits or cares to get it out of my system and then it’s back to life as usual and my normal routines, as best as I can. I might start dressing a little better and the site here would be upgraded big time, but I don’t really think that money would spoil or change me all that much and I’d just be the same old me, regardless. I would definitely love to find out for sure though. One can dream right?

Create A TV Show…

How about a situation comedy about a middle-aged and crazy gay man who works as a liquor store clerk and freelances as a blogger and writer. He hates people, but has a passion about the sport of professional wrestling and it’s his obsession in life. He has a crazy mother (played by Betty White), a much younger, but totally cool best friend who’s a single parent and YouTube sensation and several wild and whacky friends. He lives in a small town with dreams of one day moving to a Condo at the beach with his cats. And did I mention he hates people, but still feels a need for them and hates to be alone as well. Wait, that’s not a TV show. That’s my life. Well, it would make a great TV show with the right writers and people playing the characters (my family and friends). Think Drew Carey meets Friends meets Will & Grace meets Rosanne. And then toss in a little Addams Family and Monday Night RAW for extra bonus points and there you have it. Call it “Tossing Salt”, put it on Thursday nights on either CBS or ABC (not NBC because they suck and they screwed Conan) and wait for the Emmys to start rolling in. I like it. It’d work.

And that’s all for today. Day 3 is in the books. Thank you for reading. Thoughts, comments and dirty jokes are welcome and appreciated. I’m out of here for now, my friends. I have to work in a few hours for what promises to be a long and busy day and I think I need a nap. Back tomorrow with Day 4. Thanks again.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 ten days homer

Wrestling Q&A – September 29, 2017

Tossing Salt Presents:
Wrestling Q&A
September 29, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Are you ready for some football? Well, you’re in the wrong place because we only deal with real sports here. Let those pansies wear their helmets and padding and take their knees and whatever else. Who needs them? It’s time to talk a man’s sport and that’s professional wrestling. It’s Q&A time. You had the questions and I have the answers. Let’s do this…

From Michael: Got a question for you, several actually. Ok, who was the greatest tag team of the 70s? Who was the greatest tag team of the 80s? And who was the greatest tag team of the 90s? Last question, of all the tag,teams you pick from those decades, who of the 3 would come out on top today as the 1 tag team being the best of that 3?

For the seventies, it’s pretty easy for me. The greatest tag team of that era was, in my opinion, Ole and Gene Anderson, the Minnesota Wrecking Crew. They wrote the book on and defined tag team wrestling for that time period. For the eighties, it was a little harder since there were so many great teams to choose from such as The Rock & Roll Express, Rick Steamboat & Jay Youngblood, Sgt. Slaughter and Don Kernodle, The Brisco Brothers, The Hart Foundation, The British Bulldogs, Tully and Arn, etc. But in the end, and it was very, very close, the team that gets my nod as the very best is the Jim Cornette managed team of the Midnight Express, Stan Lane and Bobby Eaton. For the 90’s, again there are so many great teams like Demolition, Harlem Heat, The Steiner Brothers, Luger & Sting, the Nasty Boys, Anderson and Eaton, Anderson and Zbyszko, etc. It was a tough call, but in the end, I went with the team of Steve Austin and Flyin’ Brian Pillman, aka The Hollywood Blondes. Austin and Pillman were so damn good as a team and if jealousy and politics from the WCW office hadn’t forced them to break up as a team, they would have easily cemented a legacy in tag team wrestling second to none. And for the final question, it’s The Anderson Brothers versus The Midnight Express w/ Jim Cornette versus The Hollywood Blondes. And the winners would be… The Hollywood Blondes, Steve Austin and Brian Pillman. Yes, they were just that damn good. ‘Nuff said!

If you could put any 5 Heenan guys vs any 5 Heyman guys in War Games,who’d you pick?

For the record, I love these fantasy booking questions. In this match, which would be epic by the way, for the Heenan Family team, I would have Andre The Giant, Ravishing Rick Rude, Nick Bockwinkel, Haku and Mr. Perfect. For the Heyman team, I would go with Brock Lesnar, CM Punk, Steve Austin, Arn Anderson and Rob Van Dam. And the winners would be… the fans and the people getting to see this fantasy match take place. But I think I’d have to go with the Heyman team on this, but just barely.

If you could only watch ONE Wrestlemania again – which one would you pick?

Wrestlemania III. It’s still one of my favorites and set the bar for the rest of the Wrestlemania’s to come over the next thirty years. One of the first and one of the best.

What are your thoughts on Braun Strowman?

A remarkable young man who has come a long ways in a short amount of time. WWE has finally managed to get it right in creating their own home-grown monster and Braun is getting better all the time. He can work, he can talk and he looks and fits the role of a human wrecking machine perfectly. I’m very impressed by this guy and barring injury, I think he has a great future ahead of him.

Best masked wrestler?

Of all time, it has to be none other than Bill Eadie, aka The Masked Superstar. A great worker and truly iconic legend in every sense of the word.

Bruiser Brody, Stan Hansen, Vader and Harley Race (in their primes) versus The Shield & Brock Lesnar. Who wins?

Nothing against the WWE superstars of today, but this match would be awesome, would be a slaughter and the four Gajin legends of Brody, Hansen, Vader and Race would make short work and win in convincing manner pretty easily.

And that’s enough of this for now. I have to go do some stuff so I’m quitting here. Thanks for the questions. All feedback and comments are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take it easy. Don’t forget to read my blog series, “Ten Days Of Dougie!”. And I’m down and gone.

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 a wrestling meme

10 Days Of Dougie – Day 2: Rude Customers, Kool Aid Man & The Real World…

Ten Days Of Dougie – Day 2
Rude Customers, Kool-Aid Man & Real World
September 28, 2017
DougMaynard.com

And here we go again. Day 2 and I’m already beginning to question my committment. Do I eat a Hungry Man TV dinner for lunch, as I’ve been doing, and make that my big meal for the day or do I change up a bit and eat a bowl of soup or cereal for my ealry day meal and save the filling, good stuff for after I get home from work? Decisions suck! But while I’m pondering on that, I can come here to the computer keyboard for a little while and do something that there is no questions about, Day 2 of the “Ten Days of Dougie” series. I’ll get the “Magic Bag” and pick my topics in a moment, but first I would like to send my condolences out to the family and friends of Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner, who passed away yesterday at age 91. For every young boy, even the gay kids like me, Playboy magazine was a part of our youth and coming of age, where we first realized about the joys and wonderment of sex and the beauty of the human body. And we have Hef to thank for that. Plus how many of us have dreamed that ultimate dream of living in a glorious mansion surrounded by nothing but beautiful women? Ok, I never actually had that dream. My tastes lean more towards Mexican pool boys, but it’s still a pretty big deal and cool thing. Hef lived that dream. Kudos to the man. You will be missed, Sir. Rest in Peace.

And now, let’s go get the “Magic Bag” and draw a few topics out from it’s vast and deep opening. The topics for today will be, “Rude Ass Customers”, Kool-Aid Man” and “Real World”. I think I can work with these. Let’s do this…

Rude Customers…

Anyone who has ever worked even a moment with the public or in any form of customer service can relate to this topic. The customer who snaps at the clerk, yells and gets loud, tries to cut in line, has the attitude from hell, throws money and generally acts like Satan’s ex-mother-in-law while having her time of the month. I think Randall, in the movie “Clerks”, said it best. “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the customers!”. But as bad as all of these people are, and they are bad, there is one that is even worse in my opinion. The one kind of customer that grinds my gears the most is the one who is just there and won’t say anything or even acknowledge the person waiting on them and trying to assist them. They step up to the register and just set their merchandise on the counter and just glare at you. You try to make small talk or even just ask them if that’s all for them today or ask how they’re doing and they just stand there and glare. You tell them the costs of their purchase and they hand you the money or more likely, just sit it on the counter and just keep staring straight ahead, that look of contempt and pompous ass in their eyes and on their face, still not saying a word like it’s totally beneath them to even speak to or even be spoken to by a common “clerk”. You finish the transaction and hand them their change. They look at your hands, holding their money and you can just feel the disgust and contempt coming from them as they reach out and reluctantly take their change, still not having said a word or uttered a single sound. If their eyes weren’t burning with hatred and telling you to just hurry it up so they can leave your presence, you may even think they were dead or just stupid. I always go for the “stupid!”. They take their change as you give a final comment, acknowledging their sale and thanking them for their patronage. And they still never say a word, just giving one final look of disgust and contempt as they leave.

These are the most annoying and rude people in the world in my opinion. I can handle being ignored while you’re talking on the phone or to your friends because I know eventually, you’ll have to give me some attention if you want to make your purchase or get your change. At least the loud and annoying ones have a reason to be idiots. They’re on their phone or talking to their friends or something like that. But the quiet Zombies don’t have any reason to be so damn rude except for that they are just being ass-clowns, pure and simple. If confronted with one of these, I’ll just go extra slow and keep talking until they’re forced to either spontaneously combust with anger or else mutter something under their breath in disgusted response. Either way, I win. The bottom line is this. If a clerk or cashier or whoever is trying to be nice to you, at least acknowledge their presence. They don’t want to be there dealing with you any more than you want to be their yourself and if they can suck it up and make the best of it, so can you. It’s a people thing. Come join the human race and be a people. Talk to me willingly or else I’ll make you break eventually, cause that’s how it goes. ‘Nuff said!

Kool Aid Man…

We’ve all seen those commercials for kool aid where the kids are playing and getting sweaty and just being kids as they were before the X-Bx or Playstation was invented and someone complains about being thirsty and they yell, “Hey Kool Aid!”, and then a giant pitcher of kool-aid with a face and arms comes busting through the walls yelling, “Oh yeah!”. It’s a great classic commercial with an awesome visual image, but it always left me wondering a few things. To start off with, Kool Aid Man keeps busting through all of these walls. Who is fixing the walls when he’s through? Is there a special construction company that follows him around and repairs the broken walls at a reduced rate? And how do the kids explain that the living room wall has a ten foot hole in it to their parents? “Well Dad, we were thirsty and a giant jug of kool-aid came busting through the walls…” Dad ain’t gonna believe that crap and Junior is going to get his butt spanked for telling lies. And the cost of repairing that wall? Guess who has to find a summer job working for Mr. Hubert down the street? All because the kids wanted some kool-aid. I like to drink kool-aid as much as the next person, unless it’s at a cult like gathering where the psycho leader is talking about a new beginning and new worlds while encouraging his followers to drink. That kool-aid, I will pass on. But what was I saying? I like kool-aid as much as the next person, but if I have to do construction work and fix giant holes in the wall every time I get thirsty, it’s just not worth it. It needs more sugar anyhow. Give me a Pepsi anytime. So while the whole idea of Kool-Aid man is great in theory, there are too many holes (literally) in the character. He needs to start using the door and quit all of that destruction. Plus, he’s just creepy as hell. ¬†Oh yeah!

Real World…

And finally, we have “Real World”, which I suspect was probably in reference to the MTV reality show which hasn’t been good since Real World 10: San Francisco. What ever happened to Puck? But I’m not writing about that. I’m going to talk briefly about the real “Real World”. It’s where people win and people lose and life isn’t always fair. It’s where for every action, there is a reaction and there are consequences. It’s where people have different view points and opinions and just because you may not like what they say or how they feel, your opinion isn’t any more important than theirs and they have just as much right as you do to have that opinion. It’s where running to “safe spaces” just because your feelings are hurt doesn’t work and you either get over it or not, but that’s your problem and not anyone else. It’s where no one owes you or me anything and nothing is free. If you want something, you work for it and earn it or else you go without. It’s where responsibility and commitment take precedence over everything else and if you’re not good for your word, you’re not good for anything. It’s where you take two steps forward, get knocked three steps back and still continue on. This is the real world and not the foolish land of unicorns, puppies, safe spaces and you can say what you want unless you disagree with me that so many young people seem to want to embrace these days. Delusional fools. Life can be great, but it can also be a bitch at times. Deal with it. No one owes anyone anything and no one is better than anyone else in the overall scheme of things. It’s life. It’s crazy and wild and fun and sad and stupid and emotional and invigorating and depressing and boom boom goes the dynamite. It is what it is.It’s the real world and not some made-up land of make believe. Live it and embrace it, cause it’s either that or be miserable and die. And who really wants to do that? Welcome to the real world.

And there you go. I think that’s all for today. I have errands to run and people to piss off so I’m closing this up here. Comments and thoughts are welcome and appreciated. Let me know what you think and thank you for reading. Like and share this or else I’ll come to your house and spill kool-aid all over your carpet. Back tomorrow with Day 3.

Until then…

Ubuntu!

@00 @ 1 kool aid man meme

Wrestling Q&A – September 28, 2017

Tossing Salt Presents:
Wrestling Q&A
September 28, 2017
DougMaynard.com

When it comes to the greatest sport in the world, you have the questions and I have the answers. It’s time to do another fun filled “Wrestling Q&A”, exclusive to the pages of my site, DougMaynard.com. The questions come from Facebook and the KoK (Kult of Kayfabe). The answers come from me. And let’s go do this…

Why wasn’t Enzo a heel this entire time?

Because when partnered with Big Cass, to kind of even things out, he was bearable and tolerable. Without the big man and all of the catch-phrases to balance out his general annoying and cockiness, his true self shows and it was time to move him to the heel column.

In your opinions, out of the wrestling gimmicks you remember (per wrestler) what was the worst in your opinion?

We can go with Hornswoggle being Mr. McMahon’s son as one, but that was more of a story-line than a wrestler gimmick. How about the Yeti in WCW? Or when Chavo Guerrero became white (Kerwin White that is). Terry Taylor as the Red Rooster was a classic bad gimmick. And to top it off, how about Dustin Rhodes as Seven in WCW for all of one week. Those are the first ones to come to mind.

Who will be the first first WWE wrestler to take a knee?

And who will be the first wrestler that Vince McMahon fires for real? Unless it’s part of a story line, I can’t see any WWE superstars legit taking a knee during the National Anthem. If Rusev or maybe Kevin Owens was to do it as part of their characters, so be it, but for real? Nah, it’s not going to happen.

If you could own one piece of wrestling paraphernalia that has some kind of historical or even sentimental value to you, what would it be?

The gold domed NWA World Heavyweight Championship title belt is the first thing that comes to mind. Anything else would pale in comparison.

Shield vs Miztourage at TLC: Winner takes all 3 belts. Thoughts?

I’d love to see this match happen, but with all the belts on the line, the Intercontinental Championship and the RAW Tag Team Titles, that might be a bit of overkill, at least for now. Maybe somewhere down the road, it could happen, but give it time to build and fester for a while first.

Out of all the In-Ring relationships (any promotion) what pairing did you think was the best (not including couples who are still together e.g Triple H/Stephanie McMahon).

The story-line created couples that I consider the best are / were: Jamie Noble & Nidia, Stevie Richards and Victoria and Chuck & Billy…

What are your favorite championship belts? Any promotion or era.

Aside from the NWA World Championship gold domed belt, my other two favorites, above all others, are the red and silver NWA World Television Championship, held by Arn Anderson among others and the classic Mid-Atlantic Championship title belt. It had a unique look and was just a distinct and attractive title belt.

Will Carmella cash in at Hell in a Cell?

It’s Charlotte going against the champion, Natayla, at Hell In A Cell. Will Carmella cash in her Money In The Bank briefcase? It’s possible, but I don’t think so. Not yet anyhow.

And that’s all the questions so it’s time to close this up. Thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts and questions are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care. Love you – mean it.

Ubuntu!

@@ 0 @ 1 nwa q and a

10 Days Of Dougie – Day 1: Do I Know You?, Dogma & Characters…

Ten Days Of Dougie – Day 1
Do I Know You, Dogma and Characters I Like
September 27, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Well, it’s finally time to get the ball rolling and bring back the always popular “Ten Days Of”, not to be confused with “A Dozen Days Of” or “Thirty Days Of”. Same concept of course, but the number of days committed to the task at hand differed greatly. I’m so ready to get this thing started, but I’m also dreading it. “Why?”, you ask. Because I know that as soon as I start writing and getting into the groove, something will happen to distract me. My cell phone will start ringing. The house phone will ring. My cat will come into the room wanting attention. My mother will come over and say, “I don’t want to bother you” and then proceed to tell me something I don’t have any interest in about someone I’ve never heard of and this will go on and on and on. It never fails, no matter what time of day or night I try to write. I need a private office or a condo at the beach or even a small cave somewhere hidden deep in the jungles of Brazil. But then there would probably be spiders, savage head-hunters and poor internet reception so I’d still be frustrated so I guess I’ll just live with it.

For those of you who didn’t get the memo, let me briefly explain what “Ten Days Of Dougie” is all about. It’s me (Dougie) writing for the next ten days straight with no days off. I do that pretty much anyways with the “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”, “Music Fact or Fiction”, “Opposing Views”, Facebook Q&A” and “Wrestling Q&A” things, but this is different in so many ways. Instead of coming in with a topic in mind, doing my research and trying to (generally) stick to the genre at hand, for “Ten Days”, it all goes out the window. I reach into a bag (the “Magic Bag”) and draw out two or three slips of paper. On those tiny slips of paper are words, phrases, topics, etc and that’s what I’m writing about. I have no idea what I’m getting until I’ll pulled it out of the bag and then, I’m committed. It’s like meeting someone on Craigslist, but not nearly as much driving involved. And that’s where it gets fun. No advance warning. It’s just “write about this and go”. And I’m going to do this every day for the next ten days straight. It might be lame. It might be great. It might change the world. But we’ll never know until all is said and done. And with that in mind, enough of this “intro”. Let’s get to work.

I’m reaching now into the “Magic Bag” and the topics for today, “Day 1” of the “Ten Days Of Dougie” blog series are… “Do I Know You”, “Dogma” and “Characters I Like”. Okay then. Nothing too earth shattering here and I don’t think any of these three topics will be too wild or crazy. Well, with “Dogma”, I’ll be talking about a Kevin Smith movie so that could get a little weird. Let’s do this…

Do I Know You?…

When you live and work in a small town, especially if you work in a job where you deal with the public, there will always be people coming up to you asking where they know you from or “did we go to school together” or some kind of similar question. And Scotland County is about about 30,000 people if I recall correctly and I’ve been working in stores and with the public since I was 16 years old so people around here definitely know me. They might not know my name (although far too many actually do) and they might not be sure where we’ve met before, but they know me. At least two to three times a week at work, I’m asked this question. And then, usually before I can give an answer, they tell me where “we met” and what I used to do. And usually, it’s wrong. Very, very wrong. I’m not sure if I can remember all of the places that I’ve been told that I know people from, but I’ll list as many as I can. I know people from, “working at McDonald’s in South Carolina, working at the plant J.P. Stevens, working at Wal-Mart, being a school teacher in South Carolina, being a school teacher at Scotland, working at Eaton, working at Campbell Soup over in Maxton, Crackers, living in Maxton, living in Rockingham, working at the Wal-Mart in Rockingham. There are so more, but these are the ones I can think of right off the top of my head. And of course, the always popular “we went to school together” and then, when I ask what year they graduated, they’re off by about ten to fifteen years. For the record, every single place that I’ve been accused of working at in the past or where people know me from, it’s wrong. They’re wrong. I just have one of those faces that people remember and recognize and know. Oh yeah, I just remembered, I’ve been accused of being an EMT, a plumber and a police officer as well. Me, a cop? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Nothing against police officers. I have a great deal of respect for the men and women of law enforcement (most of them) and many of my friends and associates are cops. But my fat ass wearing a badge and having authority? That would be scary. Picture a real life “Cartman” driving a Blazer and there you go. “Respect my Authority!”. Not a pretty sight at all. Now, back to our program.

So where do these people actually know and remember me from? Not quite four years working as the Assistant Manager at Nic’s in North Laurinburg, by the Fire Department, five years of Kangaroo doing the third shift thing and close to ten years working at the Food Bank as a volunteer. Ten years at Dairy Mart too for the older folks, but Kangaroo or Nic’s are the biggies where I’m actually most remembered from. I did C-stores for a long, long time. And have the gray hairs and battle scars to prove it. So now, when people ask me where they know me from, I just smile and say, “Do you watch porn?”. And there you go…

Dogma…

A fantastic movie by Kevin Smith starring Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, George Carlin, Chris Rock, Carrie Fisher and so many others. It’s in many ways a shot at the Catholic religion, but its not nearly as disrespectful at it may seem at first. Did I forget to mention that Alan Rickman and Selma Hayek are also in the movie. The plot is simple. Bethany, a woman who’s lost her faith, is assigned on a mssion to help find God, who is missing. She’s joined on her quest by Jay & Silent Bob and Chris Rock and by the way, they also have to stop two fallen angels (Affleck and Damon) from re-entering Heaven and negating all reality. Jason Lee is here too and cameos by all the View Askew Universe regulars. A damn good movie that’s far better and way more insightful that anyone would expect or that it has a right to be. And in the end, all is well and God (played by Alanis Morrisette of all people) is saved. It’s probably my third favorite Kevin Smith movie after Clerks and Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and it’s well written, well acted and entertaining and insightful at the same time. The religious theme might frighten a few people off, but it shouldn’t. In the end, I think that Jesus and everyone else up above would approve. I surely do. Check it out if you get the chance.

And finally…

Characters I Like…

I guess this is referring to characters that I like to read about and in my case, write about when I writing my fan fiction stories, which by the way are available for your reading pleasure at http://www.fanfiction.net. Look under the writer name of TSFiction19 and there are sixty-five (and more to come) stories of several different genres waiting and ready to be read, reviewed and enjoyed. Go check it out. So I’m taking this as an opportunity to list the characters most near and dear to my heart when I’m in the mood to write a story. Sounds good to me.

For wrestling based fics, my favorites are The Miz, Steve Austin, Mae Young, Zack Ryder and the old school wrestlers of the 70’s and 80’s. They’re better because they were characters and had defining styles and manners of speaking, cutting promos and all that fun stuff. Most of the wrestlers of today are bland and more generic and trying to use them as characters is not quite as easy.

For my comic book based fiction stories, I like using from the Avengers, Dr. Druid, The Black Widow, Hercules and Mantis (from the comics and not the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. That character was lame!) I also have included the characters from the gothic soap opera, Dark Shadows, in the mix when I write my stories and BArnabas Collins, Quentin, Dr. Julia Hoffman and Elizabeth Collins Stoddard are among my favorites to write about.

And for anything else, my go-to’s are Joan Rivers (RIP), Kermit the Frog, Keith Olbermann and of course, our President, Donald Trump. He’s a great character and I can’t resist sometimes.

And that’s who I like to write about. Other characters come and go, but generally if I’m writing a fiction story, in some way, shape or form, depending upon what kind of story it is, some of these characters will make an appearance. Count on it.

And I guess that’s all for today. This wasn’t so bad and was relatively painless. I hope that it was enjoyable enough and didn’t bore you to tears. Back tomorrow so look for it. Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated. And for now, I’m out of here. See you tomorrow.

Ubuntu!

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