Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 9): Blast From The Past & Music Jukebox Survey…

Don’t you hate it when you first wake up and almost immediately, people want to talk to you? Before the first Pepsi or shower or even the first pee. It’s like that around here. As soon as she sensed movement and my bedroom door opened, my beloved mother, who I wouldn’t trade for anything but seems to have as her mission in life to drive me totally batshit crazy, started. She didn’t tell my sister, who has borrowed her car today, to check the oil in the car. The newspaper has changed and she’s not impressed with the new format, but she likes the bigger print. There are kitty cats outside. And what are WE planning on doing today? And this is all before the first pee. And my cat, Goldy, is in on it too. She wants attention. She wants treats. Her food bowl is empty (full except for one small hole in the middle of the bowl) and she just keeps looking at me and talking / meowing. I just want to damn pee!

And that’s how my day began. It’s Tuesday AM and this is Day 9 of the most recent series of “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. I was going to do a recap of last night’s WWE Monday Night RAW, but almost from the time I got home until when I finally went to bed, I was dozing off and on and barely paying attention. I know that HHH came back. Samoa Joe was seen frequently. Stephanie McMahon talked crap to Mick Foley. And I remember seeing Charlotte somewhere in all of that. And I guess that there were a few matches too, but who knows for sure.

So since there is no RAW to speak of, I’ll just reach into the Magic Box and see what we come up with. We get “Blast From The Past” and “Music Jukebox Survey”. Sounds simple enough so let’s do this.

Oh yeah, I think my BFF is mad at me. I texted him twice yesterday afternoon before I went to work and then three times last night after work. I got one reply, a text that said, “Hey”, and that was it. Damn, he’s starting to act like… ME. That’s not good. I’ll call / text him later after I do the Food Bank thing and maybe we will hang out. I love you bro / BFF/ heterosexual life mate. Then, Now and Forever. Now (again), let’s do this…

Thirty Days Of Dougie! (Day 9) – Blast From The Past & Music Jukebox Survey…

Blast From The Past: Here’s a letter I wrote to and was published by the local paper, the Laurinburg Exchange, five years ago…

Letter To Editor: “Same Sex Marriage Amendment” – April 20, 2012

On May 8th, the voters of North Carolina will be voting to decide whether or not to add an Amendment to the North Carolina Constitution that would define marriage in this state as between one man and one woman. Same-sex marriage is already illegal in North Carolina so it strikes me as kind of ridiculous to propose an Amendment that makes something illegal when it’s aleady illegal. But we’re dealing with politicians so what else do you expect, right?

But this Amendment, the so-called “Same-Sex Marriage Amendment” takes it a step further by stating that the marriage between a man and a woman is “the only domestic and legal that shall be recognized or valid in this state”. So for anyone with a Civil Union, a domestic partnership, a common-law marriage or just shacking up, this doesn’t effect just gay couples, but any couple involved in a relationship besides traditional marriage. Just think about it. Long time couples, who for whatever reason are not married, will not have their relationships recognized by businesses, hospitals, funeral homes, insurance companies, courts, city, county and state governments. It will be as if their relationships don’t exist and the couple, despite their time together and committment to each other, will be treated as totally unrelated to each other. Marriages, civil unions and domestic partnerships recognized and valid in other states will be ignored and considered non-existent. And this is just totally and absolutely wrong.

I understand that some people do not like the idea of a same-sex couple being “married” and even though I don’t agree with those people, that’s their right to feel that way. But is it right for two people who love each other and are committed to each other to be denied basic rights and privileges and a chance to find happiness and have a life together? I don’t think so.

If this Amendment is passed, then North Carolina voters are saying that it’s okay to discriminate and deny people their basic human rights. They’re telling us that what we think and who we love and want to spend our lives with and be committed to doesn’t matter. That my dream to one day have a formal committment to the person I choose to love, to live and love our lives in peace and happiness, doesn’t matter. That we don’t matter. How is this right?

I’m not asking people to like the idea of same-sex marriage or couples shacking up and living together. That’s a personal choice. But I am asking that everyone look deep into their hearts and consciences and think long and hard before allowing discrimination and hate to be placed into the North Carolina State Constitution via this very bad and poorly written Amendment. No one should be treated as second-class citizens or deprived fairness and equality and that’s exactly what this Amendment does. Think about it and please vote against the so-called “Marriage Amendment”. North Carolina deserves better than petty bigotry and discrimination. Thank you

See, I can be serious when needed. Just don’t expect it too often. It was actually a pretty good letter and I’m proud of it. It didn’t work though and Amendment won the vote and same-sex marriage was outlawed in North Carolina. And then the Supreme Court got involved, they agreed with much of what I mentioned in my letter and long story short, same sex marriage is legal in every state in the United States. And guess what? The world is still here. So the story had a happy ending after all. Yay!

And next, we have “Music Juke Box Survey” So…

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle
2.For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3.YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4.Have fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS ‘ARE YOU OKAY’ YOU SAY?
“No Place Like Home” – Randy Travis

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
“Jack Daniels If You Please” – David Allen Coe

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GIRL/GUY?
“Roving Gangster (Rollin’)” – Kid Rock

HOW DO YOU FEEL?
“Badfish” – Sublime

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“After The Pain” – Betty Wright

WHAT’S YOUR MOTTO?
“We All Sleep Alone” – Cher

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory” – Guns & Roses

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“I Am So Gay” – Soce the Elemental Wizard

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“Ass Man” – Billy Gunn WWF Theme

WHAT’S YOUR LIFE STORY?
“Disco Duck” – Rick Dees

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Play That Funky Music” – Vanilla Ice

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Summer Nights” – John Travolta / Olivia Newton John

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“Mean” – Taylor Swift

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“Waitin’ For My Ruca” – Sublime

WHAT IS YOUR PASSSION IN LIFE?
“Let’s Get It On” – Marvin Gaye

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
“Dirty White Boy” – Foreigner

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“In The Ghetto” – South Park

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
“Bang Bang” – Cher

WHAT DOES YOUR LOVE THINK ABOUT YOU?
“Her Name Is” – George Jones

WHAT WILL YOU TITLE THIS NOTE AS?
“There Are Worse Things I Could Do” – Rizzo / Grease Soundtrack

And with that, I’m calling it a night. This is the end folks, at least for today. Back tomorrow with Day 10. Thank you for reading. Thoughts, comments and suggestions for topics to write about are all appreciated. And I just went blank on what I was going to say so let’s really call it a night. Thanks again and may your hookers always be clean.

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 8): Nipsey Russell, Laughable, Favorite Bugs and Top Ten Announcers…

I just figured out earlier today who Enzo Amore reminds me of. Kevin “K-Fed” Federline from his brief time in the WWE back in the late nighties when he was almost relevant. Except for one thing.. K-Fed was entertaining. Enzo though? How you doing?

I answered a question on Facebook earlier today. A meme asked me to “name a horror movie that scared you the first time you watched it.” And my answer? It was Bambi… He danced around with a hyper-active rabbit, talked sweet nothings with a skunk named Flower and then his Mama was blown away by a crazed hunter, plus his father was a dead beat dad when it come to helping to raise him. The horror of it all traumatized me forever. My mind hasn’t been right since.

I keep seeing things on Facebook about boycotting the Oscars. How can I boycott something I never watch anyhow? When Kevin Smith is up for an award, I may reconsider, but for now… BLEH! “Airplane” never won an Oscar and neither did any of the “Police Academy” movies. Hell, “Cannonball Run” was never even nominated so what do those Hollyweird freaks know anyhow? Just saying…

Oh, were they tonight (Sunday night)? And I missed them? Ooops! Boycott successful.

Eli Lieb and Steve Grand have an amazing song together on YouTube called “Look Away!”. The way their voices blend together is just incredible. Check it out if you get the chance.

Let’s go get the Magic Box and decide what the topics for today, Day 8, will be. I’m in a good mood tonight so I’m going to draw four topics from the box. We have “laughable”, “Nipsey Russell”, “Favorite Bug” and “Top Ten Announcers”. A weird assortment, but I can do all of these fairly easy. So are you ready? I said… Are you…?” Never mind. Let’s just do this…

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 8): Nipsey Russell, Laughable, Favorite Bugs and Top Ten Announcers…
February 27, 2017

I just realized something. Today is the first day in quite a while that I haven’t spoken to my BFF at all. Not even a text message. No wonder I feel so empty and incomplete inside. It’s just not right. I need to rectify that… soon.

Update: He texted me. I texted back. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. And all is good with the world once more.

Now on with the show.

Nipsey Russell was a comic and actor from the 50’s through the 70’s, known for his appearances on game shows, a role on the series “Car 54, Where Are You” as Sgt. Anderson, and spots on the Dean Martin roasts and assorted variety specials. He also made several “party albums” and played the Scarecrow in the movie, “The Wiz!” And he did short little limericks and poems. Lots and lots of poems. I remember the man so vividly from the days of my childhood. He was just a good, good egg from what I can tell. Here is a vintage Nipsey piece.

What is the secret of eternal youth?
The answer is easily told;
All you gotta do if you wanna look young
Is hang out with people who are old.

And one more…

The young people are very different today;
And there’s one sure way to know;
Kids used to ask where they came from;
Now they’ll tell you where you can go!

A true American icon to be sure. RIP Nipsey Russell, 1918 – 2005…

Laughable. I was going to talk about things and situations that are so crazy and stupid and messed up, that the irony is laughable. But after writing about Nipsey, I’m just going to make a short list of people that make me laugh, every time, without fail, thus they are “laughable!”

Joan Rivers, George Carlin, Steven Wright, Beth Donahue Weedman, Jay Hickman, K-Mak. Don’t know who these people are? Look them up. Most are comedians. K-Mak is my brother and BFF. They’re awesome and funny and will make you pee yourself. And who doesn’t like that? Really?

Favorite Bugs? I like the 1972 Volkswagen Convertible. It’s my dream car and I want one. Oh wait, wrong kind of bug. My bad! I’m not a big bug person. To be honest, they kind of creep me out and make me want to scream like a little girl seeing her first penis in the public bathroom because of screwed up laws passed by the liberal snowflakes in local government. Or like someone who has sat through an entire Kayne West concert and listened to him sing without the assistance of auto-tune. But if I have to pick one, and I’m assuming that since the topic was “favorite bug”, that I should, I’ll go with a cricket. No, how about a lady bug? Nah, that’s not it either. I’ll pick an ant. And yes Regis, that’s my final answer. Unless it’s Aunt Esther. And then, watch it sucker! I loved Sanford and Son. Aunt Esther, aka Lawanda Page, was the best. Add her to my list of laughable’s cause she could always make me laugh.

And finally, we have Top Ten Announcers. Are we talking about wrestling announcers, game show announcers, sports announcers or what? How about all of the above. It’s just a list after all. So…

Dougie’s Top Ten Announcers

10. Howard Finkel (WWE)
9. Ed McMahon (The Tonight Show)
8. Ivory (WWF Experience)
7. Lilian Garcia (WWE)
6. Don Pardo (Saturday Night Live)
5. Johnny Olsen (The Price Is Right)
4. Tony Schiavone (WCW)
3. Rich Landrum (World Wide Wrestling, JCP)
2. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (WWF, WCW)
1. Bob Caudle (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling)

And there you go. And that’s it for another day. Happy Monday Peeps (if there is such a thing!) I love ya and mean it. I’ll see you tomorrow with Day 9. I’m Doug and “dat’ is all de’ people need to know!” Thanks for reading.

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 7): Mixing Drinks, Crushes and Pie…

I just finished watching the newest edition of “Table For Three” on the WWE Network. It’s Stan “The Lariat” Hansen, Mr. Bob Backlund and the “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko together and talking about “The Seventies”. It was a good episode and mainly left me wanting more, just as 98% of the episodes of these shows have done. Mainly, they talked about Bruno Sammartino, the common factor in all of their careers, but they touched on many other things as well. I find it ironic that Larry Zbyszko was a part of of the threesome talking about the seventies since, even though he did make his debut in the 70’s and enjoyed some success, holding the WWWF Tag Team Championship with Tony Garea, he really didn’t get his big break and break that glass ceiling until 1980. Still, it was entertaining and informative, as it should be and if you’re a fan of any of these men or just like to hear about how things used to be, check it out. I’d like to see even more of these shows and even have some ideas, of course, who would make great trios to use in future episodes. How about Jimmy Hart, JJ Dillon and Teddy Long together talking about the art and roles for managers? How about Stevie Richards, Ivory and Val Venis together in a “RIght To Censor” reunion? They could do Rick Steamboat, Ric Flair and Bret Hart together to talk about rivalries. How about Kidman, Jamie Noble and Brian Kendrick to talk about the Cruiserweight Division. Baby Doll, Terri Runnels and Dawn Marie (from ECW) to talk about being “Valets”. The possibilities are endless.

And while I’m speaking about the WWE and “The Network”, congratulations to the WWE for hitting the three year Anniversary a few days ago. I’m sure that there were those who had their doubts about how this would all work out for Vince and the rest of the WWE family, but I think it’s safe to say that they’ve exceeded all expectations. And that wasn’t what I was originally going to say. I just remembered that it was the third birthday for the Network and felt obligated to mention it. Now what was I going to bring up? Oh yeah…

There is so much already available for us fans on the Network with all of the pay-per-views, NXT, the specials, original programming and the other stuff. But what’s one more special, annual event right? I’d love to see the WWE put together a special event for the Network and air it live, a supercard of nothing but “legends, icons and wrestlers from the past!”. Look at what WCW did with their Slamboree events, making them a mixture of old and new. I know that WWE prefers to look ahead to the future, but there is a strong market for nostalgia and it really wouldn’t be that much extra work for the company. Throw together a two or three hour event with wrestlers who are no longer current stars, but are still healthy, viable and just let them go and do their thing. It could be called “Old School” or “Night of Legends” or anything really, but just give the spotlight for one last time to the past, which paved the way for what they have now. They could make it in conjunction with the Hall of Fame weekend, or since that’s already crowded enough as it is, work out something with a group like the Cauliflower Alley Club and when they hold their annual convention, the WWE could be there and make it bigger than ever with coverage on the Network and a super card of legends, icons and heroes from the past. It would be great P.R. for the WWE in the wrestling community and allow them to give back a bit more, plus it would help out the CAC and give them more exposure to those fans who don’t really know or understand what the CAC is all about. It’s just an idea I’m throwing out there and something to think about.

And now, let’s get on to why we’re here. It’s Day 7 of my blog series, “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Let’s go to the Magic Box and find out what the agenda is for today. We have “Mixing Drinks”, “Crushes” and “Pie”. Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too. But the topics have been drawn and I guess as Peter Griffin would say, “That’s a great idea Brian… Let’s do it!”. And do it, we shall…

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 7): Mixing Drinks, Crushes and Pie…
February 26, 2017

I nearly forgot. Happy Belated Birthday to the “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, who turned 68 years old yesterday. Diamonds are forever and so is the “Nature Boy!”. Hope that the day was great and wishing this true legend many, many more to come. Wooooooooo…

Mixing Drinks is something that I know very little about, which is somewhat ironic since I work in a liquor store, but when I was drinking adult beverages, I was primarily a beer drinker. Liquor is great, but give me a Bud Light every time. I have partaken in the world of mixed beverages a few (hundred) times though and am not totally without some knowledge. If it’s white liquor (vodka or rum), use orange juice or some kind of fruit juice. And if it’s a dark liquor, such as whiskey or… well, whiskey was all I liked for many years, use a cola or soft drink. Pour in about 1/3 of the cup with alcohol and then add the mixer and drink. It’ll be strong, but my Mama didn’t raise a quitter so I would just suck it up and keep drinking. Add more of the mixer as needed (or more of the liquor if preferred.) And after a few swallows, it’s all just good and drink on. And there you go…

Next up is “Crushes” and that’s exactly what it implies. Take something and smash, bang and crush it up until it’s nothing but a shattered mess. Works for me. Oh yeah, there’s that other type of “crush” as well, where you see a person and for some reason, the planets line up, the queasy feelings fill the stomach and even though your mind realizes that you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with that person, your heart takes over, caution is thrown to the wind and all common sense is thrown out the window, while you proceed to become a total idiot, just for a smile or kind word or maybe a one-time snuggle in the back of the van.

We all have crushes from time to time, those people who just show up and stand out in our eyes as the next big thing and something special. I have a few myself. Yes, I’m admitting it. There’s “Mr. Hideous”, a young guy who is so cute, so sweet, so nice and so straight, damn it! And the college wrestler guy who comes into the store. If I was only twenty-five years younger, he’d be my future ex-husband. A personality, a great body and what an ass… literally and not his public behavior. That booty… damn! And there are a couple of others, but you get the point. I’m older and more sensible now and know how the game works, but when I was young, dumb and full of… passion, those guys would have been on like lead paint on toys made in China. And like the character Wanda, from “In Living Color”, I’d rock their world. ‘Nuff said!

And finally, we have pie. I like pecan pie. Apple pie is good too and Cherry pie is so good, Warrant even did a song about it. But my own personal favorite is pecan pie. It must be something about the nuts. Who knows?

And with that thought stuck in your head, I’m out of here. It’s nearly 7:00am and this vampire needs to retreat to his chambers for the daily slumbers. Thank you for reading. Only three more weeks to go. I’m Doug and it’s cold outside. No, really, it is. After several days of warmth, heat and just beautiful weather, it’s freakin’ cold out there. Whazzup with that? Brrrrrrrrrr… I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you – mean it!

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days Of Dougie! (Day 6): Ramblings & Stretchy Pants…

I’ve been watching a lot of “Married With Children” over at the YouTube and I think it’s time for a new series and remake of that classic television show. I know that Christina Applegate, Katey Sagal and Ed O’Neil are all busy folks with their own shows and careers, but their roles could be limited to cameos and the occasional appearance and it would still work. Here’s what I’m thinking. Have Bud and his new wife, whoever she may be, move back into the Bundy household after experiencing success and then having it yanked away from him, in typical Bundy fashion. Peggy and Al have finally moved away to live with Peggy’s family, the only thing that can make Al’s life worse than it already is and thus, that leaves the house free for Bud & his family. Have Kelly be a rich and successful model or business person who can drop by for the occasional visit. And bring back Marcy & Jefferson as the neighbors. And if the original writers and producers are available, bring them aboard and there you go. I want to see it happen. Come on Fox… do it for me. For all of the fans of Married With Children. Just do it!

RIP Alan Colmes, 1950 – 1917. You will be missed, Sir…

At my current job, which by the way, I do enjoy greatly, we get one weekend off a month. This is my weekend. I’m bored! I’d rather be at work. Yes, I said it! I really do need a life.

I cooked earlier today. I boiled eight boneless, skinless chicken thighs until they were cooked thoroughly and falling apart. Then I set the chicken aside while I cooked a box of noodles, adding a can of chicken broth to the water that I boiled the noodles in. After the noodles were cooked, I mixed in the chicken, two smoked sausages cut into thin slices, a can of mixed vegetables, a can of Cream of Mushroom soup and two cans of Cream of Chicken soup. After mixing it all together, I let it simmer for a few minutes. It looks good and tastes great too. I only tried a little bit because Ma brought me home a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger and onion rings from Burger King. She had coupons. So I ate my burger and I’ll be eating my chicken noodle / veggie mix tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. It should be good. And if anyone wants any, just swing by the house and I’ll hook you up… cause that’s what I do.

Being single sucks! I need a good man to share my life with. Any volunteers?

My “Top Six” singers / bands from the world of music are Alice Cooper, Waylon Jennings, Soce the Elemental Wizard, Rickie Lee Jones, Sublime and the man himself, Frank Sinatra. My “Second Six”, who can pretty much do no wrong, are Aerosmith, David Allen Coe, Betty Wright, Jessi Colter, Hank Williams Jr. and Casey Abrams. These men and woman are awesome. ‘Nuff said!

Is the AWA up on “The Network” yet? I remember when I used to cover and do recaps for the AWA shows on ESPN Classics a few years ago for PWInsider.com. The matches were lame and compared to the the NWA / WCW and WWF at the time, the production values sucked ass. But there was still a magic and charm there and I really did enjoy doing those recaps. I wish I still had the time and patience to do stuff like that again. But I don’t. Damn!

And I think I’ve rambled enough about different things. I should at least pick one topic out of the Magic Bix to make this official as a part of the “Thirty Days of Dougie!” series. So for today, it will be “Ramblings”, which is the part you’ve already read and the other topic will be (drum roll please)… Stretchy Pants. Okay then. Yes, I know this had been pretty lame so far and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Oh vey! I guess I should do my official “Title” thingy, right?

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 6): Ramblings and Stretchy Pants…
February 25, 2017

I already did my rambling bit earlier so now let’s move on to “Stretchy Pants!”. Why is it that 99% of the time, the women that you see in public wearing the skin tight, extremely thin, often bright colored and well decorated stretchy-pants are generally the last people that need to be wearing those kind of clothes? If a person has a great bod or a great butt and actually look good, then go for it. Less is more and show us what you got. Express yourself. Yay!

But if you stand about 5′ 2″ tall and weigh in the area of 250lbs, all of it stomach, ass and boobs, three words for you. “Don’t Do Dat!” It’s not attractive and not sexy and is actually kind of creepy, at least to me. I know I shouldn’t judge and I try not to, but have a little self-respect. At least look in the mirror before you head out into public and to the club looking like a reject from Spandex R’ Us! And that applies to the guys too. I haven’t seen many wearing the stretchy pants, but there have been a few. Leave something to the imagination. When we can determine your religion by the outline in your pants, it’s too damn tight! And the rent is too high too, but that’s a story for another day.

I remember a woman coming into my job one night. It was on a weekend and she was obviously going out to the club to have fun and party hard. She was one of those I spoke of earlier who shouldn’t be wearing clothes that show off every curve because damn it, that was a whole lot of curving going on. She was NOT tiny and petite. Not even close. And she was wearing these extremely tight stretchy-pants that said, “I’m The Realest!” I have to let my inner-gay out here for a moment because I might not be the most fashionable person in the world, but if you have to advertise on your ass that you’re “the realest”, I’ve got news for you sister. You’re not! And then add to this that boob and belly are hanging out and flashing out everywhere. Just stop… please! I said it earlier and it bears repeating… “DON’T DO DAT!”. If you have the killer bod and can pull it off, then dress to impress and show that stuff. But look in the mirror first and if there’s the slightest bit of hesitation or doubt, go change. Stretchy pants are for gym class and aerobics. Real clothes are for everything yes. So put on some real pants and behave. I don’t want to have to say it again.

And with that, I’m closing this bad mama-jama up. I hear Netflix calling my name. I started watching the series, “Santa Clarita Diet” last night and so far, I’m liking it. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back tomorrow for Day 7. I’m Doug and I approve this message. Love ya – mean it!

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days of Dougie (Day 5): Respect & Stretch Armstrong…

It’s nearly 6:00 in the morning and it’s my day off from work. I’m actually off all weekend for a change. Yay for me! So why am I awake? Yes, there is a reason. And yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. I actually woke up so I could pee and then decided that since I’m up, I may as well be productive as well. So here we are and this is the 5th day, aka “Day 5” of the blog series, “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Are you surprised I’ve lasted this long? Yeah, me too. Only twenty-five more days to go until this project is over. And what will I do after this? It’s way too early to worry about it now. Let’s just make it though this first.

So what are the topics for today? I’m not sure yet. I could write about comic book heroes turned TV, which is something that has been on my mind since I watched a video on YouTube last night. I could write about Naked Turtle vokda, a small bottle of which is sitting on my desk in front of me. For some reason, the song “Angie Baby”, which was a big hit for singer Helen Reddy in the mid-seventies, is blasting through my head and mind this morning. I don’t know why, but it is. I could talk about that song, but I’m not. It’d be like living in a world of make believe… well, maybe. Did you see what I did there? I’m just so impressive this morning. Uuugh! I need to wake up… or go back to bed. Either one works for me. Should I just go to the Magic Box and find a topic? *sighs* I guess I’d better if I want to actually write about a particular object or topic and quit writing in cirlces, as I’ve been doing for the past two paragraphs. Let’s reach into the box and pick a topic. It’s “Respect”. Yeah, I can work with this. And the other topic is “Stretch Armstrong”. Sounds interesting. Let’s begin, shall we?

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 5): Respect & Stretch Armstrong…
February 24, 2017

First topic of discussion is… “Respect”. Or as Aretha Franklin would say, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T… find out what it means to me”. Two definitions of the word respect, from Dictionary.com are: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability; deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment. So essentially, what’s being said is if a person has some value to you and you think they’re the shit, you can be said to have some level of respect for them.

It’s a double-edge sword, this word “respect” though. I know many people who I don’t particularly care for personally, but I appreciate what they’ve accomplished or how they act (most of the time) and have a grudging respect for them. And there are some people out there, who I like personally and love their company and presence, but have learned to take what they say or do with a grain of salt and respect isn’t necessarily a major factor in our relationship. I’d much rather be respected than liked. If people don’t like me, I’ll get over it. My personality and habits are not necessarily the most endearing or charming at times. But I do want to be respected… for what I’ve accomplished with my writing, for my work-ethic, for keeping my word when I give it and being a straight up kind of guy. I’m not an angel by any means, but I don’t lie and I will do anything I can to help anyone until they burn that bridge or make me feel that they’re just taking advantage and using me for their own purposes.

When people take a person for granted and keep trying again and again to play a person, they’re not showing any kind of respect for me or themselves and it gets old after a while. Pretty damn quickly, actually. And then, to maintain my own dignity and self-respect, the brakes come on and things change. And life goes on.

I generally tend to like people. (Just don’t let it get out because I have a reputation as a loner / anti-social hermit to protect.) But it amazes me sometimes to watch and observe people, especially in my job capacity where I deal with the public and see just how little self-respect that people have these day. No respect for themselves or anyone else. They come into the store, yelling and screaming and reeking of three-day old sweat and looking nasty and smelling worse. And they don’t care. Clothes are dirty and appearances are rumpled and trashy. The profanity is shooting out in every direction and they’re hitting up complete strangers for change to give them money to get cigarettes or a beer. And these are the women.

What the… ??

Maybe it’s just me, but when we were young, I was taught that there’s a certain way to act in public. Be clean. Be respectful of others. Be self-reliant. Have a sense of pride and care about how others might see you. Watch your language. And treat others like you’d like to be treated. And now? None of this matters. People don’t care about themselves or anyone else. It’s all about what they can get for as little effort or putting out as possible. It doesn’t matter how rude they are or if they have to scream, lie or absolutely disrespect people they should be showing some sort of reverence for. It’s a “me, me, me” society and respect? It’s just like common sense, self-reliance and minding your own business – it’s just a casualty in the war of life and nearly dead in the water.

Some people have called me rude or cold or unfeeling because I’m not overly friendly and don’t socialize much. It’s not because I’m really cold or being spiteful – it’s just that it’s hard to be around and act nice to people who could care less about me or themselves. If they don’t give a damn, why should I? If you need to ask my help, that’s fine and dandy, but if you depend upon me time and time again, but can’t help yourself and don’t even care to at least make an effort to pay back, why the hell should I bother? Simple. After a while, I won’t. Something to think about, right?

Let’s move on to the next topic and then wrap this thing up. The other topic is “Stretch Armstrong”.

Oh wow, does that bring back memories or what? Back in the seventies, there was an “Action Figure” called Stretch Armstrong that did exactly as the name implies… he stretched. At least the arms and legs did. You could pull them and stretch them and then, slowly, they would go back into shape. He was a cool toy to have and I remember using him, along with my GI Joe’s of course, as a “hit squad of heroes”,with all sorts of adventures and battles against the evil Barbie and her minionn (my other action figures). Whatever my imagination at the time could come up with and it was total gang warfare. So cool and so much fun.

You know, I never really did find out what was used to make “Stretch Armstrong” stretch like that. Probably some toxic chemical waste that all of us kids were exposed to at the time, but didn’t care. Hang on a second and I’m going to go Wikipeida this and see what I can find out about this classic 70’s toy.

Here’s the Wikipedia thingy: Stretch Armstrong was in the shape of a small well-muscled blonde man wearing a pair of underwear. Its most notable feature was that the doll could be stretched from its original size (about 15 inches) to four or five feet. (If a tear did develop, it could be fixed with an adhesive bandage. Information on how to repair Stretch can be found inside the instruction booklet that was originally inside his box.) The original Armstrong figure was held in place inside its box by two polystyrene inserts; it could be placed back inside the box for storage.

The original Stretch Armstrong figure was conceived and developed by Bill Armasmith, and was in production from 1976 until 1980 when production was stopped. The original 1970s Stretch is very collectible now and commands high prices on the secondary collectors’ market, selling for hundreds, even thousands of dollars. However, finding one in mint condition is hard. Through storage and play, the figure can become damaged and rendered useless. There are still Original Stretch Armstrongs that have survived the passing of time and are remarkably preserved through sheer luck or being stored at the correct temperature. The figure keeps best at room temperature so thirty years later, collectors are still using Stretch.

Stretch Armstrong is made of latex rubber filled with gelled corn syrup, which allows it to retain shape for a short time before shrinking to its original shape.[2] The later 1990s figures had small beads inside them.

An interesting note here – there are plans for an eventual “Stretch Armstrong” movie and actor Taylor Lautner was said to be involved in the movie, but has since dropped out. A projected release date for said movie is listed as April, 2014. Did that movie ever even get made? I don’t remember ever seeing anything else about it so I guess not. Oh well.

So the toy was only out for about four years, but they’re making a movie about him now. Way cool. And I went through about three figures in those four years too. (I was rough on my toys.) I wish I still had them now. Wow! This is bringing back some memories. I think I might go dig out my pro-wrestling “action figures” and my GI Joes and my X-Men / Alpha Flight “action figures” too and check them out. The X-Men versus GI Joe and Stretch Armstrong. That would be a battle of epic proportions that I think my then ten-year old self would really have been able to appreciate. Hmmm!

And I think that’s all for now. Time for a shower and some other fun activities to get the day rolling. Have a good one and I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 4): Mr. Rogers and a Survey…

I really don’t feel like doing this today. There, I said it! It’s a beautiful day and I’d rather be outside enjoying the sun and warm weather. Okay, I’m lying again. It is a beautiful day and if I was to go outside, I’d probably enjoy it. BUT, it’s one of “those” days. Physically, I feel fine (for a change). There are some aches and pains and a slight headache in the back of my noggin’, but I’m used to that. And my feet hurt and my stomach is a little queasy, but all of that is normal and tolerable. It’s more psychological for me. I just want to be alone, in my room or anywhere that people will not be. I don’t want to talk or interact or be around anyone. I just want to sleep and cry and moan, “Why me?”, while pulling the blankets over my head and wishing for the embrace of darkness and death. I know it sounds morbid and probably is, but that’s how I feel sometimes. Depression can be a ass-kicker at times and today, it’s kicking my ass. Writing about it does help a little bit though. And there’s no need to worry or call 911 on me because I’m not going to do anything stupid. As bad as I may feel, I know that it’s not permanent and things are not truly as bad as it seems. I actually have a decent life, for the most part. I just get depressed and moody sometimes. I tried to get help, but the only solution the professionals could come up with were prozac and klonepins. Did I spell that right? Does it even matter? No one is reading this crap anyhow so I won’t even bother with the spell-check today. I’m just not in the mood. I just need a little alone / me time. Or a good, rough session of coitus with some young, hot studly. Either would work. Neither will most likely happen. I’m just going to do this and then either go back to bed for the rest of the day or go to the college and sit by the lake. I’ll decide when I finish writing this, the “Day 4” edition of “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. I’m reaching into the Magic Box and we have Mr. Rogers and A Survey. An interesting combination to be sure. Let’s just do it…
Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 4): Mr. Rogers and A Survey…

February 23, 2017

We’ll start off with Mr. Rogers. He was an icon and legend and loved kids. He taught about responsibility and caring and all the things that kids need and want and did it for over thirty years on his show, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, on PBS. The man was as real as it gets and the way he spoke to children, never talking down to them in any matter, but always being careful to talk and explain in a manner they could understand, was just good stuff. While I’m sure that off camera, he was as human as the rest of us and probably had moments of anger, fear, doubt, etc., he never showed that in public. He just wanted to be there for children and to do his part to make the world a much better place. The world needs far more Mr. Rogers in it and far less of the modern day trash that passes as celebrity. I remember Mr. Feeny and the Trolly and Daniel Lion and Pussy Cat and Lady Elaine and all of the characters he regularly interacted with. They were just puppets, but they were so much more as well. They were you and I, given an identity and form, with all of our mannerisms, flaws and character qualities. And Mr. Rogers, through his characters, and through that camera every day, spoke to us and said that we’re good and things are going to be okay. Rest in Peace, Fred Rogers. You were definitely one of the good ones and you are very much missed. I will always be thankful for the time you spent, giving and teaching us to be a good neighbor and a good person. Thank you. What more needs to be said?

And now, let’s do this survey thing. It’s an old MySpace survey that I don’t think I ever did before. It’s long and somewhat insightful and I promise to answer every question truthfully, unless of course I decide to lie. Are you ready? And away we go…

Survey #154 : Pretty Long

Do you think your ex still wants to be with you?
I doubt it. Most of my exes were assclowns and honestly, I was just their side-piece, convenient for when they needed or wanted something. Sad, but true. One has expressed interest in getting back together, but he’s a piece of crap too strung out on drugs and alcohol and I can’t trust him in the slightest, so it’s not happening.

Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you?
See my last answer. It’s happened, but it will never happen again. I refuse to go through that again.

Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
Can two men even have a baby together? I know there’s adoption, but… nah! Let’s don’t and say we did.

Will this Friday be a good one?
It’s my weekend off from work so it might be good. We’ll see…

When was the last time you completely broke down?
A couple of days ago. And I think, based on the way I’m feeling today, that an anxiety attack may be on the verge of happening today. I hope not though.

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
I know many people who like to partake of the smoking of the herb. That’s their thing and what they do.

Are you nice to the people you dislike?
I try to be nice and respectful to everyone, regardless of my personal feelings towards them. It’s called “being an adult!”

Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to?
To a point, yes, but he’s so wrapped up in his own problems that it’s a moot point. I wish I did have someone again.

What are you excited for?
Nothing in particular at the moment. I’m just kind of a take it as it comes person, but if I start to get excited or enthusiastic about something, it generally gets screwed up so I try to temper my anticipation and live for the moment instead.

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?
If it’s Chris, I call the law because that fucker is in prison and belongs there. If it’s Danny, I invite him in for a session of coitus. Anyone else, I just play it by ear and say, “what you want?”

Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for?
Yes!

Does sex mean love?
Not really. It’d be nice if that was the case, but sex is just that. It’s sex. No big deal and no feelings or emotions need be involved. It’s just a physical means to get off. I don’t have to love the people I have sex with (or even like them for that matter). It’s great when that happens and I do, but it’s not a major thing anymore.

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
Yeppers.

What’s something you really want right now?
To not be so stressed out and to have someone here with me, just giving me a hug and saying that things are okay.

What was the first thing you did this morning?
Woke up, looked at the clock, got up to go pee and then went back to bed.

What is your relationship status?
Single and it looks like I’m going to be that way for a while. My BFF / heterosexual life mate won’t let me date anyone unless he approves of them.

What did the last text in your inbox say? From Who.
“I love you bro, see you tomorrow.”, from my BFF / bro, Kenneth…

What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person?
About 8 years or so on Chris… I was in love so damn bad. What a freakin’ idiot I was.

Are you listening to music right now?
Yes, the soundtrack to Interview From A Vampire. I love this kind of music. No words, but just feeling.

Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
I do have a few fences I’d like to mend so yes…

What’s in your purse?
I don’t have a purse. I have a wallet. I’m a man. And in it are my ID, debit card, some business cards, a few receipts, two dollars and an uncashed lottery ticket where I won $3. I’m rich… lol

Is your name a common name?
I guess. I know a few others named “Doug”, but none of them are as cool and pull it off as well as I do… lol

What is your favorite color out of these 5: Green, yellow, blue, pink, or red?
Pink…

What are you doing tomorrow?
Waking up, writing the Day 5 edition of “Thirty Days of Dougie!”, eating, etc. I honestly have no idea. I’d love to get drunk and laid… lol.

Whats the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
Glared at my clock.

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say?
That’s nice…

You receive $500 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
Get the oil leak on my Blazer fixed and pay a few bills.

Where will you be in an hour?
Either out in the yard filling up the bird feeders or getting something to eat. I’m getting hungry.

What’s your relationship with the person you last texted?
He’s my BFF, my brother and my hetero-sexual life mate, the Jay to my Silent Bob.

Who do you hate?
No one really. Hate is a wasted emotion.

Is anything bothering you right now?
Many things…

What do you think about math?
I don’t know. I’m good at it and it’s an important thing to know. No real thoughts though. They just don’t seem to add up. (Lame, I know, but I’m trying!)

Whats irritating you right now?
Life and the world we live in.

How is your mood?
Not bad and starting to get better. Mayber doing this survey and the writing stuff was what I needed. I still want to be alone today, but I might be able to make a productive time out of it. We’ll see.

What time is it?
10:41am

Where’s your phone?
One of them (I have two) is sitting here on my desk, immediately to my left. The other is in my Blazer. I forgot to bring it in last night. I was tired… lol

Who was your last text from?
Haven’t I answered this like three times already? It was President Trump. He called me to tell me what a great and wonderful person I am.

Why did you last cry?
Because I get depressed, moody and I’m losing my freakin’ mind.

In the past week have you cried?
Yeah…

Do you want to see somebody right now?
Sort of, but only for the sex…

How tall would you prefer the person you’re dating be?
Doesn’t really matter. I’ve dated taller and I’ve dated shorter and it depends on the person and not their height.

What are your initials?
DAM

Do you call it sitting “criss-cross” or ” Indian-style”?
Neither really. It’s just “sitting” to me.

Who do you like?
Several people.

How many people have you liked in the past 8 months?
I’ve got lust-crushes on a couple of folks…

Has anyone laid on your bed besides you?
Yes…

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold?
Being hot… I can handle cold, but hot kills me…

How many cell phones have you had in your life?
Three – maybe 4…

What’s your middle name?
Alan

Are you happy with the way things are going?
Nope, but that’s the way life goes. You change what you can and make the best of the rest.

And there you go. Survey done and a little talk about Mr. Rogers is done and with that, for today anyhow, I’m done. I know that this series has been a bit on the lame side so far, but it will get better. Lord, I hope so anyhow. Thank you for reading and now, I’m going to go put clothes in the dryer and get some breakfast. See you tomorrow.

Ubuntu!

Thirty Days Of Dougie! (Day 3): Land Of Confusion, Stray Cats and Memories of Age 10…

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

And here we go again and it’s Day 3 of “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Are you having fun yet? It’s way too early in the morning and I don’t have much time to play, not if I want to get this posted this morning before I have to head out to do people, places and things. I guess I’d better unpack my adjectives. (Obscure School House Rock reference!) Yesterday (Tuesday) was a long, long day. Did the Food Bank stuff that I do every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then went to my sister’s house. The transmission on her car died a month ago and now it’s time to get it into gear and look for something new. Time was limited so I rode with her to three different car lots to look and see what was available in her price range. Not much, it seems. We listened to a country boy from hell throw his sales pitch at us at one place and he was cool enough, but really was more B.S. than substance. He just wanted a quick sale. Not gonna happen. The second place was just rude. And the third place was pretty cool and the guy who we spoke to is the same man who sold my Mom her car almost eight years ago. This is a small town. Nothing really accomplished, but at least it was a start.

And then, since my sister hates shopping alone and gets anxiety attacks inside crowded places, I went with her to the stores. Wal-Mart and Roses. I despise Wal-Mart with a passion, but it’s a necessary evil and sometimes, you just have to do it. Finished up with her and my head was pounding, so I went home for a quick power nap. Quick just about describes it because as soon as I lay down upon my bed, there goes that damn phone. My BFF and hetero-sexual life mate calling. We speak for a brief moment and after agreeing that I’ll come pick him up in about an hour, I try to lay down and get a moment of rest. The birds are chirping, the dogs are barking, kids outside are screaming and I can hear Mom talking to someone or something several rooms away. The mood is broken and I’m back up. No power nap today.

I go to Wal-Mart again (second time) to get oil for my Blazer and some extra-strength pain relief because my head is about to bust. And then to get my bro and his mini-me. It’s here and there and everywhere for the next several hours, including a birthday party for a relative of his. None of this do I mind because I love my bro, I love his mini-me, and they are two of the most important people and things in my crazy little world and life. But it just goes on and on and on. We go to Wal-Mart AGAIN and for me, it’s the third time today. I make a note and remind them that I need to leave relatively soon enough that I can go by Food Lion and pick up drinks before they close. That didn’t happen and it was 10:00 before I left. I was tired and ill and a little snappy by this point. My legs were hurting and my head was pounding again. And I had to go by Wal-Mart AGAIN to get drinks for today because it was now the only place open. That’s FOUR times. Have I mentioned that I hate that place.

I came home and thought about this. I was planning to do a Smackdown Live! review, but since I didn’t get to watch Smackdown Live!, that idea is kind of moot. My bro texted me and asked what I thought about the ending of the show. Ummmm, I didn’t get to watch it because I was with you. Oh vey! My head is still pounding and I couldn’t sleep for shit. And I have to be in Southern Pines in two hours. So how is your day going?

And now, here I am, ready to do Day 3 of this mess. Why am I doing this anyhow? Oh yeah, to enhance my creativity, generate traffic on my blog site and because I can. Just shoot me now… please! Let’s just reach into the box and find three topics to get this over with. Yes, Mr. Ray of Sunshine I am this morning. Don’t you love it?

And we reach into the Magic Box and my three topics for today are… (drum roll please)… Land of Confusion, Stray Cats and Memories of Age 10…Let’s do this…

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 3): Land Of Confusion, Stray Cats and Memories of Age 10…
February 22, 2017

Let’s start off with Land of Confusion. It’s the title of a song by Genesis that came out in the late 80’s. A great video with lots of puppets and it was pretty harsh with it’s mocking of then-President Ronald Reagan. And damn, those puppets were ugly. It was a great song though and I’ve always liked it, even to this day. There weren’t too many songs that Genesis and lead singer / drummer Phil Collins did that I didn’t much like to be honest. The man has talent. He’s ugly as hell, but so long as he can sing, who cares, right?

That term can also be used to describe my life at times. Why am I doing this? Who are these people? What day is it? Where’s my jello. My world! Welcome to it. Let’s move on.

Stray Cats! That can refer to a band from the 80’s who did such great tunes as “Stray Cat Strut” and “Rock This Town!”. Those boys, Brian Seltzer, Lee Rocker and Slim Jim Phantom, could really get down and go. They had a Sha Na Na type gimmick with a 50’s look and sound, but were definitely a product of the 80’s as well. And they still perform and rock today.

It could also refer to all of these damn cats that my Mom started feeding, which have quickly grown in number and now come to our house each and every morning, acting as if they own the place. “Where my damn food at?”, they seem to say. Oh vey! I love cats though and they’re pretty cool so no worries here. They do eat too much, but at least they’re getting fed so it’s all good. And the rent is too damn high.

And finally, memories of Age 10. It was 1976 and I remember the big thing that year was the bicentenial celebration of our nation’s 200th birthday. Jimmy Carter was the President of the United States and we had lines at the gas pumps sometimes. We ccelebrated my birthday staying at the beach for a week. My Mom was dating a really cool man named Stuart, who always called me “George” for some reason. My sisters were teenagers in their primes, my oldest brother was dating a woman several years older than he was (cougar) and rarely came around much. It was a good year and I was a typical, oblivious to the world, 10 year old kid. And really, what more needs to be said.

And that’s it for now. Yes, it’s short and lame, but I never promised you a rose garden. And I have to go check my car and do my stuff so I can get this trip up the road over with and be back here in Laurinburg by 10:30 so I can go do Food Lion. And then… a nap (because that’s what I do!) Thank you for reading and don’t worry, it will get better. I’m Doug and you’re not. See you tomorrow with Day 4.

Ubuntu!