A few days ago on Facebook, I mentioned that I would like… no, I need to start writing again. I’ve fallen into a major slump and getting back to what I do best, well second best actually. My best skills are reserved for that cute guy standing over there. No, not you. The guy next to you. (In best ‘Joey from FRIENDS’ voice), “How you doing?”. Now, what was I saying?
Oh yeah, need to get back to basics and the daily grind of writing again. I like to write and as a pompous, egotistical, spray-tanned, loud mouthed billionaire who thinks he should be President would say, “it’s a wonderful and beautiful thing and when I’m in charge, we’ll make America great again!” Well, he has plans, but no details on how to make those plans work except for insults, being a bully and telling everyone how rich he is. I don’t do (many) insults, I’m not a bully and I’m sure as hell not rich, but I have substance and details for my plans.
I like to write. I need to write. And thus, for the next 12 days at least, I will do exactly that! I will write daily, in a new project I’m calling “A Dozen Days of Dougie!”. Much like two previous projects that I attempted here on my blog (and Facebook and Twitter since they’re all connected), called “Thirty Days of Dougie” and “Thirty (More) Days of Dougie”, it will be an exercise in discipline, skills and just plain getting it out there for the world to see and judge. Each day, for the next 12 days, I will sit down in front of this computer and write about something… and nothing (and the Rock says “NOTHING!”) is off limits. It might be politics. It might be wrestling. It might be music or tv or a movie. It might be the person who lives around the corner who’s a total dipshit, but I find myself thinking of them quite often. And on the days that I don’t have a topic in mind, I will reach into what I call the “Magic Box” and a topic will appear and I will use that topic for the focus of my piece for the day.
Now I can hear you asking, “What are his best skills?”, followed by “Damn, he’s a perv!”. That’s not the question for now (unless you’re a really cute guy and if you are, you should then inbox me on Facebook and I might even show you some of my talents. As Lawanda from the show “In Living Color” would say, “I’ll rock your world!”). The question you should be asking is, “What is the so-called ‘Magic Box’?” Let me explain. Several years ago, when starting my first “Thirty Days of Dougie” project for my blog, I listed hundreds of random words and topic on several sheets of paper. Then I took the scissors and cut the papers into small slivers of paper and put them all into a small plastic box with a lid. And every so often, I would add several more little slips of paper to that plastic box. And then, when I couldn’t think of anything appropiate to write about, I’d get the box, take off the lid, close my eyes and reach into the box and pull out two or three slips. And whatever word or topic is on the small sliver of paper, that’s the topic of discussion for the day and what I write about. It’s a great exercise to stimulate the brain and made for some rather interesting blogs. So now, I keep the so-called “Magic Box” on my desk and it’s full of topics, ideas, words and other assorted nouns to be used for my needs and amusement.
And now that I’ve explained the who’s, what’s, where’s and why’s of this whole thing, I think I’m going to go over to Netflix and watch “Fuller House”. Or maybe “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. Or maybe start on Part 1 of the “A Dozen Days of Dougie!”. Nah, that’ll wait until Tuesday. I want to start on the first of the month because that’s just how I roll. And I want to make sure that everyone has fair warning so they can hide the children, get Grandma off the front porch, dress up in their finest clothes and change the laces in their Nike’s. So, coming in just a couple of days, on my blog as well as on Facebook and Twitter, will be my new writing series, “A Dozen Days of Dougie!” And now you know.
I just realized something. I’ve gone and done all this writing to talk about what I’m going to do and why, but this is 2016 where everyone likes it short and to the point (kind of like that last boyfriend of mine. No, wait… he was just short, at least where it matters… lol Turned out to be a piece of crap too, but that’s a subject for another day.). So I should have, instead of doing this long-winded rambling “notice”, just pulled a Trump and used a Twitter post instead. Instead of all these words, I could have just said, “Writing Again! New Project On Tuesday! Look For It!”
I could have done that, but that just wouldn’t be me. After all, the motto I’ve always used for my writing and stories and everything else, unless it’s actual person to person conversation and for that, I prefer to use as little words as possible and make it as quick as possible or else avoid it all together. I like people, but people tend to suck so… Now what was I saying? “Why say in 5 words what you can say in 500!” That’s my motto and as you can tell by this, I stand by it and practice what I preach. I also tend to go off in random and slightly awkward directions at times too. Yeah, staying focused on one topic or subject, unless it’s something I’m really serious or disgusted about, is not an easy thing.
Okay, I’m closing this up. I have to go uptown and get some cat litter. I also am in the mood for a Whopper. I hope I have a coupon. So I’m Doug and I’m out of here. Thanks for reading all of this, the New Day rocks, Trump sucks and I’ll be back and see you on Tuesday (and the next 11 days as well).
“A Dozen Days of Dougie!”, coming Tuesday, March 1, 2016. Woo woo woo – you know it!