A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 11): Imagine

Imagine a life where even the smallest interaction with others makes your stomach tighten up and your head spin
Imagine that every time the phone rings, you nearly jump through the roof and are overwhelmed with a major sense of dread
Imagine not walking out into your yard or going to the mailbox because neighbors are out in their yards and may speak
Imagine being anxious and tense every time you leave your house
Imagine having that feeling that everyone you see and meet and interact with is judging you and finding you lacking
Imagine that every conversation, be it in person, on the phone, via the internet or even text is an inquisition
Imagine that conversations with even the best of friends or family leaves you exhausted and drained
Imagine hating to be alone, but being so uncomfortable in the presence of others that there is no other option
Imagine being aloof and distant, not because you want to be, but you know no other way
Imagine all of that
Now try living it each and every moment of every day
I do
Explains a lot, doesn’t it?
‘Nuff said!

A Dozen Days of Dougie (Day 10): Four Things (FB Survey)

One of my friends on Facebook posted this short survey thingy and anyone who knows me knows I’m all about the survey thingys so… Let’s do this. And it counts for Day 10 of my “A Dozen Days of Dougie” blog series. “Why?”, you ask. Because I said it did. I’m playing catch-up. Woo-hoo! And away we go…
Everything is so serious on Facebook these days.
Let’s have a little fun… (And I’m genuinely curious to read other peoples’ if they fill it out)

Four names I go by.
1. Doug
2. Douglas
3. Dougie Fresh
4. Salty

Four things I don’t like
1. Bad Attitudes
2. Bigots
3. Blatant Stupidity
4. Extremely loud music

Four places I have worked
1. ABC Store
2. H&L Sweepstakes
3. Nic’s Pic Kwik
4. Dairy Mart

Four things I love to watch
1. Cartoons
2. Wrestling
3. HGTV
4. Kevin Smith Movies

Four things I love to eat
1. Chinese Food
2. Fried Chicken
3. Hamburgers
4. Your Boyfriend

Four people I think will respond
1. Theresa (if I tagged her)
2. Kenneth (if I tagged him)
3. Tecty (if I tagged her)
4. Fran (if she was still here – I miss that woman! RIP)

Four favorite drinks (not water)
1. Pepsi
2. Kool-Aid
3. Orange Juice
4. Vodka

Hold your finger down on this post to copy, and paste to make your own. I can’t wait to see your responses.

And that’s it for this one. Thanks for reading. Ubuntu!

A Dozen Days of Dougie (Day 9): Predictions for WWE Road Block…

In just a little less than twenty-four hours, it’ll be time for a pit stop on the WWE Road To Wrestlemania with the WWE Network Special, ROADBLOCK!! Four matches have been announced for this special event, being shown live from Toronto on the WWE Network, and thus, it’s prediction time. Let’s cut to the chase, put away the booty creme, comb the hair into a “Trump” and do this. Gary Spivey, eat your heart out!

WWE World Heavyweight champion Triple H vs. Dean Ambrose.

So the question is, will the WWE have a title change take place this close to Wrestlemania? Vince wants Roman Reigns to be the champ and everything that is WWE is geared towards Roman and HHH for the WWE Championship. But the fans would rather see Dean Ambrose as the Champ. I could care less about HHH versus Roman in the main event and would love to see Dean Ambrose versus Brock Lesnar for the WWE title in the main event of Wrestlemania. Vince and HHH are all about what’s best for business so how about this? Ambrose beats HHH at Roadblock to capture the WWE World Championship. At Wrestlemania, we get HHH versus Roman in a “grudge match” and have Ambrose defend the WWE Championship in his match against Brock. And the winners of these two matches face off in a third match, the final match of the evening and main event for Wrestlemania XXXII, for the WWE World Championship. So Roman beats HHH and Brock captures the WWE title from Ambrose and in the main event of Wrestlemania, it’s Brock defending against Roman, who goes on to win a brutal slobberknocker of a match and become the new WWE World Champion. Everyone is happy as we get some great matches for Wrestlemania and Vince gets his pick as the Champion at the end of the night. Works for me. But it all has to start at Roadblock and with Dean Ambrose defeating HHH to capture the gold. I think it’ll happen.

Winner and NEW WWE World Champion: Dean Ambrose

Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt

This should be a fun and brutal match and it’ll be a good fight for Brock, but let’s get serious. Brock is Brock and he’s headed into one of the main events at Wrestlemania in just a few weeks. There is no way in hell he’s going to lose.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

WWE NXT Tag Team champions The Revival vs. Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady

Both of these teams are damn good, but with Enzo and Colin preparing to move to the main roster, it really wouldn’t make sense to have them capture the gold at this point. But then again, that’s why the idea of a title change is so damn good. A title change here and a rematch at Wrestlemania? That would be aweome, but I don’t see Vince giving NXT that much exposure and if there is a NXT title match at the big event, it should be Finn Balor (and the debut of the Balor Club?) defending his title against Samoa Joe or something of that nature instead. No title change here.

Winners and STILL NXT Tag Team Champions: The Revival

WWE Tag Team champions The New Day vs. Sheamus & King Barrett

This match makes sense since the New Day have been verbally sparring with the League of Nations for several weeks now, ever since that awful disaster of a segment we called the “Cutting Edge Peep Show” a few weeks ago on RAW. But even so, it has a thrown together kind of feel to it and even though it is a rare “heel versus heel” match and is for the WWE World Tag Team Championship, the best I can say about it is “Eh!”. The New Day will get the chance to play faces for the night and it’ll be a solid match with lots of action, near falls and what not’s. I don’t see a title change though unless it’s a quickie with the belts going to the League and then back to the New Day on RAW Monday night. The New Day is on a roll right now and they should keep the belts at least until the big show in Dallas. And I think they will because… NEW DAY ROCKS! ‘Nuff said!

Winners and STILL WWE World Tag Team Champions: The New Day

And there you go. My predictions for the four matches announced for this WWE Special, live on the Network on Saturday night. This also counts as “Day 9” of my “A Dozen Days of Dougie” blog series. Now I’m only two days behind. I can’t help it. I had some bad days and now I’m feeling better and playing catch-up… because that’s how I roll. Thanks for reading and I will see you at the matches. I’m Doug and “dat is all de’ people need to know!”.

Ubuntu!

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 8): Matilda Bay, Managers & Returning Phone Calls…

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 8)

And here we go again, bright and early on a Tuesday morning. It’s only 8:30am and so far, so good. I’ve managed to call the man working on my Blazer to inquire how it’s coming along. I’m waiting on a call-back now. I’ve washed one load of clothes and have them in the dryer now. I’ve washed dishes left over from last night. And most importantly, I’ve talked to my cat, held her in my arms and told her how wonderful and special she is. She seems to like hearing that kind of thing. She was purring. And now, as I wait for the phone to ring and kill a couple of hours before I go do Food Lion, it’s time to tackle that elephant in the room. No, I am not talking about Republican politics. Not right now anyhow. I’m talking about my blog series, “A Dozen Days of Dougie”. It’s Day 8 and I’m ready to knock this sucker out of the ball park. Let’s just jump right to it, shall we?

We go to the Magic Box, open it up and pull some topics out for consideration. What shall we write about today? How about “Disgusted”, “Pizza” and “Homeless”. Talk about three downer and depressing subjects. I’m almost disgusted at the choices. Why don’t I ever pick a fun topic or something remotely entertaining out of the Magic Box? I know! The whole concept is to draw random topics from the box and just work with it, testing my writing skills and creativity levels. But damn it, it’s bringing me down. Pizza is okay. After all, how can a person complain about pizza? Pizza is like sex. Even when it’s terrible, it’s good. I think I need to demand a recount or a do-over. Let’s try this again.

Magic Box, what have you to offer me today? We reach into the box and the topics for discussion are “Matilda Bay”, “Managers” and “Returning Calls”. Now this is more like it, especially since I used to enjoy the first one quite regularly, I’ve had plenty of experience with the second topic and I despise and suck when it comes to the third topic. And if you’re not down with that, oh well… lol. Let’s do this…

A Dozen Days of Dougie (Day 8): Matilda Bay, Managers and Returning Calls…

Speaking of returning calls, I just had a phone call and have to leave for a little while. I’ll be back to finish this in a short while. Don’t go away! 🙂

(Update) Now, it’s Wednesday morning and I’m no closer to having this bad mama-jama up then I was yesterday, over 25 hours ago. “What happened?”, you ask. Well, life happened. That and some laziness and just lots and lots of things. I fell asleep. I went and voted. I went to Food Lion and Dollar General to get cat food, paper towels, kitty litter, tuna and a few other things. I got sick and puked my guts up. I fell asleep again. I spent an hour texting back and forth with my BFF. I was kidnapped by that same BFF for what I was expecting to be maybe 15 minutes and ended up as a trip to Rockingham and not getting home until after 1:00am. And my plans to sit here and write out “Day 8” of ADDoD? It just didn’t happen.

Let’s do this now. I’ll make it short and sweet though. We’re going to do this cliffnote style.

Matilda Bay was an awesome adult beverage that came out in the early 90’s and I enjoyed very much. It came in a box with a spout and truth be told, tasted like cough syrup. Well, more like Zima (remember that) than a typical adult beverage of the time, but it doesn’t matter. It had a spout, it was unique and I liked it… a lot. For some reason, it was discontinued in the mid-90’s and I never saw it again. It’s still out there somewhere though, albeit not in North Carolina. But it will forever be in my memories and mind. That was some good stuff.

Managers? I’ve had many and some, like my most recent and current manager, do a great job and are very good at their job. A few that I’ve had in the past, that wasn’t quite the story though. A good manager leads by example. A bad manager just sits there shouting out orders. A good manager does what is required and delegates responsibility if necessary. A bad manager complains about what they’re supposed to be doing and tries to pass the buck to someone else. A good manager is a stable and calming presence in the workplace. A bad manager creates chaos and instability. If everyone tenses up and gets nervous or frightened when their manager walks into the room, despite that they are doing their job and are good, reliable workers, they don’t have a manager. They have a boss. Give me a real “manager” any time.

And finally, “returning calls”. I suck when it comes to this. I admit it! And texts too, but I will get around to it eventually. If it’s a serious or legitimate matter, I’ll return the call or text promptly. If it’s just a “B.S.” call or text, I probably won’t. It’s not personal, but I hate phones. I hate “small talk”. And I’m an ass-clown sometimes. That’s just me. I still love you though. I despise phones. And there you go.

And that’s it for “Day 8”. Day 9 coming up when it comes up. I’m Doug and I’m down and gone.

Ubuntu!

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 7): Survey Time

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 7): March 7, 2016

Well, here we go again. It’s actually slightly past midnight as I write this so this should be what? Day 8? But I was a slack-ass today and didn’t do Day 7 yet. *sighs* It’s always something, isn’t it? Let’s do this the easy way, okay? How about a long, informative and fun survey. Yeppers, my friends. It’s called taking advantage of a loophole and instead of a long winded blog about something that no one cares about, I’ll do a long-winded survey chock full of useless information that no one cares about equally as much. Sounds like a plan to me. So…

A Dozen Days of Dougie (Day 7): Survey Time

001. What is Your Name? Doug (which is why this blog is called “A Dozen Days of Dougie”… lol)
002. How old are you? Too damn old to be worrying about it.
003. What is the link to your website, blog, or myspace? Look at the top of the page. There it is…
004. Where are you right at this moment? Sitting at my desk in the living room (and wishing I was in bed.)
005. Choose 5 words to describe yourself . Creative, quirky, thirsty, chunky, skilled
006. Do you smoke? Nope
007. Do you drink? Rarely, unless it’s Pepsi or Kool-Aid.
008. Do you swear? Sometimes.
009. Do you have low self-esteem? Sometimes.
010. Do you get online a lot? More often than I should.
011. Do you like taking pictures? Not really…
012. Do you like to have your picture taken? Not really…
013. Would you ever date someone 5-10 yrs younger than you? Yep! I like the young meat!
014. Would you ever date someone 5-10 yrs older than you? Yes, I would.
015. Do you think you’re weird or normal? Define normal and then we’ll talk.
016. What do you like least about your body? The belly…
017. What do you like most about your body? My feet – I have sexy feet.
018. Has there ever been a rumor spread about you? Many, many rumors… and some of them were even true.
019. Do you prefer to hang out with one friend or a group of friends? One friend mainly.
020. Who knows the most about you? My cat – she knows all and sees all.
021. Who do you trust the most with your secrets? A couple of certain people.
022. Name one person whose arms you feel safe in. My BFF’s…

Have you ever?

023. Been in love? Yes – I was an idiot!
024. Had your heart broken? Yeppers, by the guy I was so in freakin’ love with.
025. Spun until you were so dizzy you couldn’t walk? Yeah!
026. Screamed so much you lost your voice? I have.
027. Done something extremely unexpected? A few times.
028. Been caught doing you weren’t supposed to be doing? Once or twice.
029. Been called a tease? Nope. I don’t tease or bluff.

What what what?

030. What is your biggest fear? Being alone when I get old, spider-crickets and crowds.
031. What was your scariest dream? Reality.
032. What was your best dream? It wasn’t reality. That’s for sure.
033. What is your greatest strength? Resiliant.
034. Do you have any bad habits? All of my habits are bad ones – that’s part of my charm.
035. Do you think life has been good to you so far? It’s had both ups and downs.
036. Do you have any piercings? Not at the moment.
037. What does your underwear look like? Just a gray pair of boxers. Nothing fancy.

Which do you prefer?

038. Jeans or dress? Jeans. I look lousy in a dress.
039. Pizza or pasta? Pasta.
040. Rich or happy? Happily rich.
041. Shower or bath? Shower
042. Family or friends? Friends
043. Kiss or hug? I like both.
044. Bright or dark room? Darkness.
045. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla.
046. Laugh out loud or chuckle quietly? Chuckle quietly..
047. Foreign movies….dubbed or subtitled? Subtitles.

Lastly?

048. Last furry thing you touched? My cat, Goldie.
049. Song you listened to? Bob Segar – “Old Time Rock & Roll”.
050. Last person you talked to on the phone today? My sister, Terri.
051. Watched on TV? WWE Monday Night RAW.
052. Compliment you received? A comment about my writing skills.

More random thoughts…

053. What are your first thoughts waking up? Damn, I hurt! Damn, I have to pee!
054. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Burgandy
055. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? That they are the opposite sex… lol
056. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Sometimes.
057. Most memorable experience with a friend? Too many to name here.
058. Do you believe in soulmates? Yes.
059. Do you think that it’s possible your heart doesn’t give you a choice with whom it falls in love? My heart is an asshole sometimes.
060. What is something about you that people would be surprised to know? I’m not a total prick!
061. What is one thing you’ve learned about yourself in the last year or so? I’m the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn’t very nice (unless you’re the guy I’m doing it too..)

And there you go. Day 7 is in the books and I’ll be back later with Day 8. Thanks for reading.

Ubuntu!

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 6): Rabbit Dogs & You Think You Know Me…

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 6): March 6, 2016

Greetings, salutations and all of that. It’s Sunday afternoon and this is Day 6 of my blog series / adventure, “A Dozen Days of Dougie”. We’ve hit the halfway mark. Yay! Now let’s get started.

Former First Lady Nancy Reagan passed away this morning at age 94. Reagan, the widow of President Ronald Reagan, died of congestive heart failure at her home in California. That was the news I woke up to this morning. Sad news to be sure. She was a proud and strong woman who had only one focus in life and that was her love, her husband, Ronald Reagan. She had no agenda, but to look out for and protect him. And she did it very well. Rest in Peace, Mrs. Reagan.

I looked around on Facebook and Twitter to find out what had happened and to read the well wishes and comments about Mrs. Reagan. Probably 95% were of the same nature of mine, rest in peace, strong woman who loved her husband, etc. And the rest? I know that there are people in our world who are crude and nasty and general low-life scum. But to trash a woman like Nancy Reagan as I’ve seen today, before the body is even cold, is just totally beyond any comprehension. Where are these sorry, disgusting people coming from? It’s just plain sad.

I don’t like some people. I’ll use President Obama as an example. I don’t like his policies and the way he’s run our Government. I don’t like the way he acts or behaves or even the distaste he seems to have for the things that I believe make our country great. But if he was to pass away tomorrow, I’d still say “Rest In Peace” and offer my condolences to his family & friends, because it’s the right thing to do. And if I didn’t want to do that, I’d just remain silent. It’s called respect and unfortunately, there are way too many people in this world of ours who are majorly lacking in any kind of respect, be it for others or themselves for that matter. We live in an entitlement society where people are allowed to act anyway or say anything they please and not worry about consequences. They think the world owes them everything and if they don’t get it, then whoever denies them is a racist, a bigot, a homophobe, etc. This is so screwed up.

I went to a liberal, gay themed site this morning to see what they had reported, if anything, about Mrs. Reagan’s passing. And all I see are comments that she “turned on Rock Hudson”, “needs to burn in hell”, “RIP Bitch”, etc. That’s just a small sample and Mrs. Reagan was being blamed for everything from the 80’s AIDS crisis to the National Debt to weapons in Iraq. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Mrs. Reagan was NOT an elected official and never held any kind of public office. She was married to the President and ran the White House home, but what kind of political power did she hold? She was NOT Hillary Clinton who tried to be a Co-President with her husband and make policy. Mrs. Reagan was a loving wife of the old-school where, while she most likely had her opinions and thoughts on different matters, concentrated her efforts on supporting and protecting her husband. She can not be blamed any more for the government policies and activites at the time than you or I can. These attacks are groundless in merit, worthless and just plain blatant stupidity at it’s worse. Reading the comments from my “gay brothers and sisters” at this site almost makes me ashamed to be gay. One person starts the rhetoric and the rest of the sheep follow. Learn the history people and learn some respect. Damn! And as “Stone Cold” Steve Austin would say, “And that’s all I got to say about that!”.

Let’s go to the Magic Box and find topics for today. We reach in and what do we have? “Rabbit Dogs” and “You Think You Know Me!”. And now that we know what the topics are, let’s get to stepping. Let’s do this…

A Dozen Days of Dougie (Day 6): Rabbits Dogs & You Think You Know Me…

I know you’re wondering to yourself, what is a “Rabbit Dog”, right? Well, many years ago, I worked at a convenient store, doing that 3rd shift thing. It was a great time in my life and I worked there twice, once for 2 1/2 years and then again for almost ten years. One of our regular customers was a man named “Rabbit”. That’s not his real name obviously, but that’s what we called him and for the sake of this story, that’s the name I’m using. Rab is a fantastic guy and one of my favorite people I’ve ever known. We’ve been friends for a long, long time and even though we don’t hang out or talk anymore like we used to, he’s family in my eyes and I’ll always consider him that way.

Well, Rabbit used to go the clubs on the weekends, as many young men did. And then, after the clubs let out in the wee hours of the morning, Rab would come by the store, along with Pat, Jim and a few others, and get something to eat. We sold hot dogs at my store, along with sausage dogs, BBQ, hamburgers, etc. And when Rab or the others came in, they would go behind the counter and fix themselves something. I was generally too busy with the customers and the after-club crowds to deal with the food and my motto was, “if you want something, you’d better fix it yourself”.

One of the more memorable concoctions that Rabbit came up with was a sausage dog, covered with chili, cheese, mustard and BBQ. Yes, it was packed to the gills and just looking at it was heartburn city. But it was a very delicious heartburn city. Rabbit called his creation a “Rabbit Dog” and after a short time, it became a favorite with some of the regular customers, as well as a few of the store employees too, mainly me. Even now, I’ll occasionally get the urge for something a little different and only a “Rabbit Dog” will hit the spot.

Put cheese inside the hot dog bun, cover with BBQ, insert sausage dog, add mustard and chili and then prepare for a feast that will satisfy even the hungriest of souls. I want one right now. They are delicious. And we have my buddy, Rabbit, to thank for their creation. Mmmm Mmmm good! ‘Nuff said!

And as for the other topic, “You Think You KNow Me”, I could write about former WWE Superstar Adam Copeland, aka Edge. After all, those are the words that were used in his theme music before he came to the ring each and every night. I could write about him, but I’ll take this to the other extreme. How about five random facts about me, myself and I that you may or may not know. That sounds like a plan to me so…

1. I’m a licensed, ordained Minister and have been since 2000, thanks to the Progressive Universal Life Church. It’s amazing what you can find in the back of an old Rolling Stone magazine.

2. I’ve written over a thousand blogs, short stories, articles and columns over the past ten years.

3. I love to cook.

4. I used to weigh around 330 lbs. Now, I currently weigh 235 lbs and am still losing weight. One day, I will look like Rob Lowe.

5. My best friend’s nickname for me is an “emo, homo redneck”, whatever that means… lol.

And that’s it for now. I could do many, many more, after all, I am an enigma to most of you, but why? I have to save something for the next blog, right? And speaking of, I’ll have it up, Day 7, sometime tomorrow. Thanks for reading. I’m down and I’m gone.

Ubuntu!

A Dozen Days of Dougie (Day 5):Global Warming, God’s Not Dead & Necrophilia…

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 5): March 5, 2016

And I know that now it is actually March 6, 2016 instead of March 5, 2016 and I’m running a day behind in my “A Dozen Days of Dougie” blog series, but I won’t tell if you won’t. If I do two blogs today, for Day 5 and Day 6, no one will ever know. Damn, I’ve watched so much political crap on the television, I’m starting to think like a politican and trying to be all sneaky and stuff. I wonder if I can get $250,000 for a speech? Hillary can!

Anyhow, I missed yesterday due to being sick as a dog and also due to having to attend a birthday celebration type deal for my sister Terri, who turned a whopping 55 years old yesterday. Happy Birthday sis! I love ya! And after we did the birthday stuff at her apartment, we came home, I got sick and went to bed. And then I worked all day today so that’s why I’m late. And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I watched the GOP debate on Fox News on Thuirsday night. It’s sad that four men… well, three men and Donald Trump, were debating and campaigning to be the President of the United States for close to two hours and the only things I can remember standing out in this debate are: Trump talking about the size of his penis, “Little Marco”, Cruz eats a booger, Trump interrupts and Cruz tells him to calm down and breathe, Megan Kelly had two giant spiders posing as fake eyelashes, and Kasich was the only one who looked and acted like an adult. Did they even discuss policy or jobs or the economy or foreign affairs or anything like that? We are so damn doomed!!

Let’s go to the Magic Box for some topics. We’ve got “Global Warming”, “God’s Not Dead” and “Necrophilia”. Wow! What a threesome of topics. Let’s get this over with, shall we?

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 5): Global Warming, God’s Not Dead & Necrophilia…

Global Warming? It’s a myth and lie used by the doom and gloom liberals (I’m talking about you, Al Gore) to scare people and help keep the sheep loyal to the progressive cause. The data provided by scientists to support this supposed major disaster waiting to happen is inconclusive and doesn’t even begin to tell the whole story. It’s a lie. It’s a myth. It’s a sham. It’s about as real as Kayne West’s claim of musical talent and about as believable as Hillary Clinton on… anything. I might be wrong and it might be real, but I don’t think so.

God’s Not Dead: It’s the name of a fantastic movie that came out a couple of years ago starring Kevin Sorbo talking about faith in God. The gist of the story is this. Sorbo plays a college professor who has lost his faith. He is challenged by a student to prove that God is real and exists. In the end, though all seems lost, the student does just that and Sorbo realizes that he was wrong. God is real and is not “dead” as Sorbo had grown to believe. My description doesn’t really do the movie justice though. It’s an excellent film and regardless of how religious you personally are, you should check it out. I really enjoyed it and think that most others would as well. It’s on Netflix right now.

And on a personal note, though I’ve never been a strong believer in organized religion and I’m not what one would call a “spiritual person”, I know that God is real and alive and all around us. He’s why we live, why we breathe, why we exist. We are allowed to make decisions to determine our lives and fates, but even in our darkest hours, he is here and with us. God’s not dead. He’s right here by our side, ready to help when we ask. All he requires is that we ask… and believe. ‘Nuff said!

And finally, we have necrophilia. How did that topic even get put into the Magic Box for consideration. And of course, it would be drawn out on the same blog I was talking about God. Oh vey! For those of you who don’t know what it is, necrophilia is the act of getting intimate with a dead body or corpse. Talk about taking the term “frigid” to the next level. That’s just plain nasty and sick. All I’m going to say about necrophilia is “Don’t Do That!”…

Unless of course, you’re with a sexy vampire. And I’m not talking about the twinkling glowstick vampires that were featured in the movie “Twilight”. Forget about them! It’s Team Jacob all the way around here. That is a sexy ass man! Hey wolf boy – call me! Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, necrophilia in itself is sick, disgusting and just plain nasty. But if you happen to encounter a vamp that looks like Spike from the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” show, or “Angel”, or those dudes from the “Vampire Diaries”… well, then maybe it isn’t quite so bad. But those are the exceptions to the rules. Sexy vampires are okay. Other corpses, just say NO!

And there you go. I’m through for now. I’ll be back later today with Day 6 of this epic blog series. I’m Doug and dat’ is all de’ people need to know!

Ubuntu!