WWE and Wrestlemania 33: Two Scenarios…

Two Scenarios For Wrestlemania 33 and the WWE…

As I’m getting ready for work, a glorious eight hours of selling liquor to the masses, a couple of ideas popped into my head about the “King of Sports” and more specifically, the biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania 33. Well, one idea is actually mine and the other, I saw being talked about on one of my favorite wrestling websites. Both ideas are pretty awesome though and I want to touch on them here.

The first scenario takes place at Wrestlemania itself. As I mentioned in my prediction column a few days ago and as many others have noticed, the Smackdown Tag Team Champions, the Usos, are not scheduled for a match at Wrestlemania. I guess they’re going to be part of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, but that’s pretty much a slap in the face and insult to the titles and the Champions in my opinion. If the women get two title matches and the Cruiserweights get a title match, why wouldn’t the Smackdown Tag Team Champions? So here’s the deal.

Jimmy and Jey Uso come out to hijack Wrestlemania. They have mics, come to the ring and talk about what a travesty and insult it is that they, the Smackdown Tag Team Champions, are not scheduled to defend their titles at the biggest show in WWE history, Wrestlemania 33. And so they issue an open challenge for any team that wants to take them on and wrestle for the title belts, to come down and step into that ring.

And here come… Matt and Jeff, aka “Broken Matt” and “Brother Nero”, the Hardys. With their entourage in tow, Reby, King Maxel and Senor Benjamin, the Broken Universe has come to the WWE, to Wrestlemania 33, and are challenging for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. The place would go crazy and erupt. It would be awesome and work so well. And by the way, Broken Matt and Brother Nero are in Orlando this weekend. They’re wrestling on Saturday night, but I believe that their Sunday is pretty free so…

And the other scenario would be more for a nostalgia pop and take place on either RAW or Smackdown, but I’d prefer Smackdown just because they have more of a tag team division and several more established teams to work with. And it’s simple, but it would grab some major attention and good will from all the old school wrestling fans if this was to happen.

Have a team, The Ascension would be my picks, come to the ring and start talking trash about the tag team division and the lack of respect they get by management and the fans, etc. They can mention about all of the old timers from the weekend’s Hall of Fame Ceremonies hanging out backstage and specifically bring up Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson. The Vaudevillains would work great here too now that I think about it and probably even better given their wrestling style. But back to what I was saying. The WWE team comes to the ring and puts out insult after insult about Ricky, Robert and even a few shots at Jim Cornette for inducting them.

And naturally, after this goes on for a few minutes, Ricky, Robert and Cornette come out with a reply. SInce Ricky and Robert both still wrestle regularly, how about a tag team match right there, live on Smackdown? The WWE team accepts and we get a match. And since the WWE team, be it the Ascension, the Vaudevillains, or whoever it might be, are younger and stronger, they dominate most of the match, until they get cocky and start mouthing off too much to Cornette. Long story short, Cornette ends up nailing one of the WWE guys with the tennis racket and Ricky and Robert, the 2017 WWE Hall of Famers get the win and pop. It’s a good moment for them, for the fans, and probably for ratings, plus it won’t hurt the WWE guys because they lost due to Cornette and his loaded tennis racket. It’s a win – win for everyone involved.

So what do you think? Should these events happen and these scenarios play out this week on WWE TV? Both would be great to see and I’d definitely pop for either to happen. I think most fans over the age of 25 probably would. It’s just an idea though. Let me know what you think.

And now, I’ve got to finish getting ready for work. Have a great day.

Ubuntu!

Music Fact Or Fiction: March 31, 2017

Tossing Salt Music: Fact or Fiction

As most of my regular readers know, for a long time, I was involved in a weekly wrestling column called “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”, where “The World’s Most Dangerous Man” Russell Jackson and myself would look at several statements concerning the world of professional wrestling and state if we agree or not and explain why. The questions, most of them anyhow, came from the site http://www.411mania.com/ wrestling. Well, my good friends at 411mania also have a music section and one of the regular features there is a “Fact or Fiction” column about popular music culture. And it got me to thinking that if doing the wrestling thing was fun, why not expand things a little bit and do music too. So I am and here you go. The questions come from 411mania.com/music. And the other comments and answers, that’s all me baby. So let’s just do this…

Kanye West would have been a poor choice to host the American Idol reboot.

FACT: Kayne is many things, but can anyone really picture him trying to smile and be positive about up and coming new talents? Kayne is only happy when he’s talking, speaking and promoting one thing and that’s Kayne West. Well, he likes Beyonce too, but that’s a moot point here. Kayne is too negative, too controversial and too much of an ass-clown to do anything like hosting a new version of American Idol. Better someone like… anyone else, unless Taylor Swift just happens to be one of the judges. Then maybe she and Kayne together could make it worth watching. Nah, not even then.

It’s a good idea for Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre to be involved with Tupac’s Hall of Fame induction.

FACT: They both knew Tupac, worked with Tupac and probably still both exchange e-mails and text with him from his secret home in Cuba. But in all seriousness, since Suge Knight isn’t available, Snoop and Dre are the best choices available.

You enjoyed Gorillaz’ new video “Saturnz Beatz.”

FACT: I had to go look it up on YouTube and while it’s not really something I would normally listen to, it’s not too bad either. The video is pretty cool and the song sounds good so yes, I will admit that I did kind of like it.

Rick Ross’ “Idols Become Rivals” wasn’t very good.

FICTION: I can’t really comment or judge on this one because I’m not a fan of Rick Ross anyhow and all of his stuff sounds the same to me. My general opinion of most rap anyhow is roughly the same as that of the legendary “West Texas Rednecks”. So is it good or is it bad? Don’t know and don’t care. I’d rather listen to Luke Bryan or Taylor Swift. Oh wait, no I wouldn’t. Where is Waylon or Cash when you need them?

Kendrick Lamar’s “The Heart Pt. 4” was a disappointing track.

FICTION: I went to YouTube and listened and I kind of liked it. Again, it’s not my kind of music usually, but Kendrick Lamar has some good talent and I tend to like most of his stuff. I’d never buy it for myself, but I won’t immediately turn the radio station either. I liked the song.

You’re not interested in the 2 Chainz’s upcoming collaboration with Nicki Minaj.

FACT: I have no use for 2 Chainz and with Nicki Minaj added to the mix, my interest is even less if that’s possible. How do people listen to these two? That is NOT music or talent, at least not in my opinion. Can they actually sing? Do they play actual music? What kind of skills do they actually have? Nicki likes to stir up trouble and play the Diva, as we saw during her laughable attempt to be a judge on Idol last year. And 2 Chainz, Eh! And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

And that’s it. Yes, this was short but it was still fun. I’ll be back with a wrestling edition of “Fact or Fiction” hopefully in the morning. Thanks for reading and with that, I’m down and I’m gone. Bed is calling me. Have a great night.

Ubuntu!

Outrageous Questions (Survey)

Outrageous Questions That Need To Be Answered…
“If you were to get rid of one state in the U.S., which would it be and why?”

It comes down between Montana and California. If I picked Montana, the only thing we would lose is a lot of buffalo and Ted Turner would lose some land, but that’s about it. If I picked California, we would lose Jerry Brown, Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Walters, etc. Sure, we’d also lose Hollyweird and Los Angeles, but is that really a big loss? I have a few friends who live in CA and if they want to come back to NC to stay, they’re more than welcome. But the rest of that state would be, in the words of “Broken Matt Hardy”, “DELETE DELETE DELETE!”…

“How many cows are in Canada?”

Take the number of bulls, subtract the moose and wolverines, add in a sasquatch with a touch of polar bears and there you go. Common core animal math. And the answer is “Six”…

“How many quarters would you need to reach the height of the Empire State building?”

Only 9, but they’d have to be really really big…

“A penguin walks through that door right now wearing a sombrero. What does he say and why is he here?”

He asks directions to the bathroom and he’s here for the party. Why else would he be here?

“What songs best describes your work ethic?”

“Work / Play – the Bar Mitzvah Remix” by soce the elemental wizard…

“Jeff Bezos walks into your office and says you can have a million dollars to launch your best entrepreneurial idea. What is it?”

Who is Jeff Bezos and why would he give me a million dollars? It doesn’t really matter, I guess. What’s my entrepreneurial idea? How about a professional wrestling website, managed by ME? And a low budget (meaning no budget) musical about serial killers. It’s going to happen. Believe that!

“What do you think about when you are alone in your car?”

“I really need to get that oil leak fixed”, “I’m hungry”, “Do I need to get gas?”, and “I need a new radio”…

“How would you rate your memory?”

If it’s totally obscure and matters to absolutely no one, I remember it well. If it’s actually important, I run with about a 60% memory rate. And if it’s matching a face to a name, I absolutely and totally suck.

“Name three previous Nobel Prize winners.”

Mother Teresa, Barack Obama (why?) and Bob Dylan…

“If we came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us?”

Probably a mixture of things, depending upon how much advance notice I had. Spaghetti or chili if I only had a few minutes warning and we might go with BBQ chicken, baked beans, potato salad and slaw if I had the time to fix it all. I love to cook so anything is possible.

“How would people communicate in a perfect world?”

How about by actually talking to each other instead of using phones, texts and social media… you know, like we actually used to do…

“How do you make a tuna sandwich?”

I don’t. That stuff is absolutely nasty and disgusting. I know my brother disagrees and likes that foul smelling toxic mess (and so does my cat), but I can’t stand it. I never have liked it.

“My wife and I are going on vacation, where would you recommend?”

The beach or the mountains, depending on what you like to do. Wilmington is a great place to visit and I personally would love to go to Washington DC and New York City and actually have a chance to visit all the historical sites and places of note worth seeing.

“You are a head chef at a restaurant and your team has been selected to be on ‘Iron Chef.’ How do you prepare your team for the competition and how do you leverage the competition for your restaurant?”

We pick a meal to be prepared and we practice, practice, and practice some more. That’s how to win any kind of competition. Be prepared.

“What’s your favorite song?”

It changes from day to day and moment to moment, but generally anything by Alice Cooper, Waylon Jennings or Sublime qualifies as one of my favorites. I think my current favorite right now, or at least the song that is currently echoing in my head, is “Out Of The Rain” by Waylon, Jessi Colter and Tony Lee White. Also, “All American Boy” by Steve Grand. I wish I could find my own “all American boy”. I need a hug. 😦

“Have you ever stolen a pen from work?”

Most likely, but I’m more likely to bring in pencils and pens from other places to work and leave them there. It’s what I do.

“Pick two celebrities to be your parents.”

How about Vincent K. McMahon and Linda McMahon. Wait, that would make me Shane and Stephanie’s brother and part of the WWE. I’d be a boss. Oh hell yeah, that would work.

“What kitchen utensil would you be?”

A spatula because then I could be used to smack that ass… lol

“If you had turned your cellphone to silent mode, and it rang really loudly despite it being on silent, what would you tell me?”

“Ooops! My bad! Excuse me while I ignore this call.”

“If you could be anyone else, who would it be?”

While I wouldn’t mind having the bank accounts of a few other people, I’m pretty much content with who I am and being myself. Why mess with perfection, right? But keeping with the spirt of this question, if I could change places with someone for a short time, I’d be Batman. Who doesn’t want to be Batman, right?

“How would you direct someone else on how to cook an omelet?”

Crack open a couple of eggs and dump them in a cup. Mixed in some chopped onions, peppers and diced ham. Stir and pour into a preheated skillet and let it cook for about a minute or so and then flip it over. Repeat the process and then use a spatula to scoop it all on to a plate and go munch. And there you go. It won’t be pretty, but it should be yummy. Or just say to hell with it and go to Burger King instead and get a Sausage, Egg and Cheese Croissant. They’re even yummier and better for you anyhow.

And there you go. Survey complete. Have a great one.

Ubuntu!

Tossing Salt: Wrestlemania 33 & NXT Takeover Thoughts & Predictions…

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
Wrestlemania 33 & NXT Takeover Thoughts and Predictions
March 30, 2017
Doug Maynard

We are just mere days away from the biggest weekend of the year for fans of professional wrestling, the “King of Sports”, and that’s Wrestlemania 33 in Orlando, Florida. It seems that every major wrestling promotion in the world, with the exception of Impact Wrestling, home of that damn ow!, has gathered in Orlando this week, and the centerpiece of it all is the WWE. On Friday night, we have the WWE Hall of Fame Inductions for the Class of 2017. It’s a top of the line group from start to finish and should be a night to remember. Then it’s tme to take it to the ring and get serious on Saturday night and Sunday.

Saturday night is when the folks from NXT get their chance to steal the spotlight and showcase their talents in a homecoming of sorts with NXT Takeover: Orlando. And then on Sunday, with a start time on the Network at 5:00pm (Eastern), the WWE main roster gets busy with a packed card showcasing all of their superstars and talents. It’s’ Wrestlemania 33 and with twelve matches, as well as the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal taking place, it could well turn out to be either the greatest show of the year or a total cluster-f*ck of matches, or most likely somewhere in between. That’s eighteen matches booked for both shows on Saturday and Sunday night and that’s quite a large number of matches to attempt to make predictions for. I’m up for it though and ready to give it a shot. The question is, are you ready? I said… Are you… Never mind. That bit never works well with the written format. I’m Doug and this is the “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News” prediction column for NXT Takeover: Orlando and Wrestlemania 33. Let’s get to it, shall we?

NXT Takeover: Orlando Thoughts and Predictions…

Sanity (Alexander Wolfe, Killian Dain, Eric Young, and Nikki Cross) versus Roderick Strong, Tye Dillinger, No Way Jose, and Ruby Riot

This match was added on Wednesday night on the last episode of NXT by Commissioner William Regal, a man who was rumored to be part of the Hall of Fame Class of 2017 for this year, but then it didn’t happen. Too bad because he’s very well deserving. As for this match, we have the established group versus the four individuals come together to fight a common enemy, but otherwise, have no real connection. It should be a good and fun match. Sanity have been a joy to watch since Day 1 and all of their opposition, especially Dillinger and Jose, are really good and will be main roster talents, not if but when, sooner rather than later. I think this match should open the show and get the NXT all jacked up, not that they need any extra motivation. That crowd is always wide open and crazy. And the faces should win to get everything rolling on a positive note for the audience. Let’s give the new kid, Ruby Riot, the honor with a pin over Nikki Cross to take that big “W” for her team. Sounds good to me. By the way, what’s with that name? Ruby Riot? G.L.O.W. called and says that they want their corny-ass, 80’s name back. Just saying.

Winners: Roderick Strong, Tye Dillinger, No Way Jose and Ruby Riot.

NXT Championship Match
Bobby Roode (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

These two men are going to do their best and steal the show. Both men are major stars and so talented in the ring, I expect that we’ll see both of them up on the main roster for the WWE before this year is over. I love to watch Shinsuke work in that ring. He’s so good with all of the little things, the facial expressions, the mannerisms, etc. And what can be said about Bobby Roode that hasn’t already been said. TNA wasted him for so many years and now he’s in the WWE, in a manner of speaking, and things are truly glorious (pun intended). I can’t wait to hear the crowd sing along with his music as he makes his way to the ring to defend that NXT Championship against the former champion. The match will be off the charts and in the end, it will be another glorious day for the Roode one.

Winner and STILL NXT Champion: Bobby Roode

NXT Women’s Championship
Asuka (c) vs. Ember Moon

Asuka is currently the longest reigning champion in the WWE, for both NXT and the main roster. She’s just amazing to watch in that ring and an incredible talent. Unless the WWE is ready to call her up to the main roster, there is no reason for her to lose that belt. I don’t think it’s time for that to happen just yet as the Women’s roster for WWE is still a bit crowded and she’d probably be lost in the shuffle right now. Ember has a great look and she’s come a long way in a short time in NXT, but is she ready to carry that title and the crown as the top woman? Nope, not yet. Asuka retains.

Winner and STILL NXT Women’s Champion: Asuka

Triple Threat Match – NXT Tag Team Championship
The Authors of Pain (Akam and Rezar) (c) (with Paul Ellering) vs. #DIY (Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa) vs. The Revival (Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder)

The Authors are big men and certifiable monsters, but without Paul Ellering, they’d just be two more big guys in a world full of big guys. I don’t really get them or see the appeal. #DIY are really good and fun to watch and the Revival seem like they’re lost in the shuffle, but are probably my favorite tag team in NXT right now. I’d love to see these guys move up to the main roster, but as we’ve seen with the Vaudevillains and American Alpha, the “creative teams” for Raw and Smackdown don’t really know what to do with tag team wrestling these days. If any of these three teams gets the move up to the main roster, where they will be lost in the shuffle and forgotten about, I think the Authors of Pain will be the first team called up. I hope that Jim Cornette gets the chance to attend this event while he’s in Orlando and see his favorite tag team, the Revival, in action.

This match should be damn good, as should all of the matches on this card really. There are three contrasting styles in play with the power of the Authors, the old school tag team wrestling, shades of the Anderson Brothers, with the Revival and a mixture of both with #DIY. I think we’re going to see a title change here, especially if the other two titles at stake remain with the current champs as I’ve predicted. Hell, I’ll go with Gargano and Ciampa, if for no other reason than the “Glorious” videos that they did with Bobby Roode. Plus they’re a helluva team with a lot of charisma and talent and they barely got a chance to show their stuff with their previous run as the tag team champs. So look for the tag team belts to switch hands.

Winners and NEW NXT Tag Team Champions: #DIY (Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa)

Andrade “Cien” Almas vs. Aleister Black

Every time that I see Almas perform, I want to see more. That young man certainly has that “It” factor going for him. I don’t know much about Black and haven’t had the chance to watch him in action very much as of yet so I’m not sure what he can or can’t do. He seems capable enough, but then again, he wouldn’t be in NXT if he wasn’t talented in that squared circle. I’ve got to go with Almas here though. He’s ready to break out and move up in the ranks and I think in that ring on Saturday night will be a good place to really start.

Winner: Andrade “Cien” Almas

And that’s it for NXT Takeover: Orlando. Now we move on to the big show, the main event, the reason we all give a damn, the biggest spectacle of the year, the Showcase of the Immortals, Wrestlemania 33. It’s a packed event with thirteen matches booked, including a thirty man Battle Royal. So at least we know that everyone on the WWE roster who is capable of wrestling and performing (sorry Daniel Bryan), will be participating in a match of some type. Every title in the WWE, with the exception of the Smackdown Tag Team Championship, is being defended. And the Usos and American Alpha deserve better and should be having a tag team title match, but instead are being stuck in the Battle Royal. I told you earlier that the “Creative Teams” don’t know how to book tag team wrestling. Ever since Heath Slater and Rhyno lost the titles to the Wyatt Family, the tag team belts on Smackdown have been largely forgotten about. They have the teams and talents to make the titles important and get the tag team division over, but no one in WWE management seems to give a damn or care. It’s a shame really.

But what was I saying? It’s the biggest show of the year and there are a ton of matches, most of which should be solid and really good. And it’s time to once more break out the “Sister Cleo” outfit and do this Prediction thing again. Let’s take a deep breath and get busy, shall we? And away we go…

WWE Wrestlemania 33 Thoughts and Predictions…

Six Pack Challenge – WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Mickie James vs. Carmella (with James Ellsworth) vs. Naomi

I kept hearing that we might get some kind of tag match with women from the past, such as Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly coming back and going against the current women, but honestly, this is better. Eve and Kelly are scheduled to be in Orlando this weekend, but what roles they’re playing, if any, haven’t been revealed yet. They’re probably just appearing at Axxess or some other signings. And if the WWE was going to bring back women for a one-time shot, I’d rather see Trish, Lita, Ivory, Jackie, Victoria, new Hall of Famer Beth Phoenix, Madusa or Santina Marella instead of Kelly Kelly. And how about that long rumored “dream match” between Team Besties (Lita and Trish) versus The Bellas. I guess that’ll never happen either.

But forget about all of that. This match, which I believe is taking place on the Kickoff Show, should be okay, The talent is here and all of these women are really good. I think the favorite is Naomi since this match is taking place in her hometown and for some reason, the powers-that-be seem to have really taken a shine to her as of late. She’s okay, but anyone who uses a butt to the face as her finisher just doesn’t do it for me. I just hope she always remembers to wipe thoroughly. I’m thinking that we’ll see a title change here. Alexa is good, but with all of these bigger names as part of the match, I just feel a title switch has to happen. I’m leaning towards Natayla because she really is the glue that holds the Women’s Division together on Smackdown and with all she’s given to the WWE over the years, she deserves a big “Wrestlemania moment”. The other one that sounds good to me is Mickie James, coming back to the WWE after so many years away and cementing that return and her career with a title win at Wrestlemania would be pretty damn awesome. It’s a tough call, but I think I’ll go with Natayla. She really does deserve it the most.

Winner and NEW WWE Smackdown Women’s Champion: Natayla

WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries

Another potentially show stealer of a match relegated to the Kickoff Show. These guys are so good and so fast, I hope they’re given enough time to show their stuff and put on the match we all know they’re capable of. All the signs point to Austin Aries getting the title and kicking the “King of the Cruiserweights” off his throne, but I don’t quite agree. It’s way too soon and there is way too much money that can be made with this feud. Maybe it’s my old-school thinking, but these guys are so good and can put on matches like few others and WWE would be best suited in just letting them go for as long as possible, both in this match and this rivalry. Austin should come just thisclose to winning, but let Neville snatch a victory from the jaws of defeat, albeit with some controversy. Then the rematches can start and the WWE can just sit back and watch the money pour in. These guys are that damn good and I hope that this lasts for a long time.

Winner and STILL WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Neville

2017 André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal – 30-man battle royal for the André the Giant Memorial Trophy

Also known as the match where everyone who isn’t already involved in a match is thrown so that they have a spot on the card. It’s surprising to me that Big Show and Braun Strowman are being tossed in here since they deserve so much more. Show has busted his ass to lose weight and get in shape and while his potential match against Shaq turned out to be a bust, he’s already done the “Battle Royal” thing and deserves so much better. And Braun has really grown in that ring and looks great, truly embracing his potential as a monster to be reckoned with. He deserves better as well. In days gone by, the WWE would have made the best of this by booking a match with Show versus Strowman for the big event. After all, we had a match between Booker T and Edge over doing a “shampoo commerical” so would a match between the two resident giants, especially after the great match they did on RAW a few months ago, really be so bad? But WWE needs all of the bodies they can get to fill out this event and make it to thirty men. I guess that explains why Luke Harper is here too. A few weeks ago, he was the Number One Contender for the WWE Championship against Bray Wyatt and now, he gets to be in a Battle Royal against The Ascension, Breezango and Titus O’Neil. Yay for him! (Rolls eyes). And what really irks me is that the Smackdown Tag Team Champions, The Usos and the former Tag Team Champions, American Alpha, are stuck here too. The title just switched between the two teams, so wouldn’t you think that Booking 101 would say “rematch for the titles”? One would think, but instead, they’re doing the Battle Royal too.

But I’ll quit complaining now and get to what really matters and that is who will win this esteemed honor. Just look how much it has helped the careers of Big Show and Baron Corbin, right? I’m pretty sure that Big Show and Braun Strowman won’t be winning. It’d be too obvious and I’d just have them take each other out. James Ellsworth won’t win either, if he’s even in there. That would be funny to see though. I think there will be an underdog coming out on top to get the victory, much like they did with Zack Ryder winning the Intercontinental Championship last year. Mark Henry would be great, but I think he’ll be in there, throw a few people out, and then be eliminated to help get someone else over. Same thing for Kane. I keep hearing a lot of noise recently about Bo Dallas and I would personally love to see Bo take home this win. I don’t think that will happen though. Heath Slater is a great choice. After all, he has kids and that story has yet to be really used to the best potential. How about Curtis Axel? That would really be good to see and I think Axel could really benefit from something like this. So many choices and names to choose from. Dolph Ziggler is there too, but he’s been so buried and hardly even a blip on the WWE radar as of late so I won’t pick him either, especially with all of the rumors out there that he’ll be leaving when his contract expires. This is so hard. What the hell. I’m a “Bo-Liever”. I’m going with Bo Dallas.

Winner: Bo Dallas

WWE Championship Match
Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

Bray needs to win. Bray has to win. Sister Abigail has said so. I’d expect the return of Erick Rowan during this match, if he’s not too busy being wasted in that Battle Royal during the Kickoff Show. But his influence should be pretty much null and void. I expect that we’ll see a fantastic match with plenty of near falls and close calls. And in the end, we all will “Follow the Buzzards!”.

Winner and STILL WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Bray Wyatt

WWE Universal Championship Match
Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman)

I can’t see Brock losing again. I can’t see Goldberg sticking around though and remaining the WWE Universal Champion. So all signs point to Brock. It’s just too obvious and easy. And we still have Kevin Owens running around talking about his “rematch” for the Universal Championship that he’s still owed. Maybe we’ll see Owens pull off a “Seth Rollins” deal and come out towards the end of the match, demand to be made part of the match, and pin Goldberg to get his title back. He is pretty tight with the boss, Triple H, so it could happen, right?

That would be ideal and awesome and a great swerve that I think, would make everyone happy. But when has the WWE ever cared about making everyone happy? Let’s just stick with the match as it’s being advertised and that’s Brock versus Goldberg. I expect it to go longer than 2 – 3 minutes and actually be a pretty okay match. Goldberg will go to the outskirts of Suplex City, although I can’t see him taking more than one or two. His body couldn’t handle it. And I think Brock will eat a spear and maybe a jackhammer, only to have Heyman provide a distraction and allow him to escape a pin. It won’t be Flair versus Steamboat, but it will do what it has to do and the fans will enjoy it. And Brock walks out as the new WWE Universal Champion.

Winner and NEW WWE Universal Champion: Brock Lesnar

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns

So does the old dog keep his spot as the top dog in the yard? Or does the upstart young pup manage to take him down and become the new leader of the pack? Taker hasn’t looked all that great during the build for this match and I think age and injuries have really taken their toll. His time is drawing near. Roman is the future and a win over the Dead Man, especially at Wrestlemania, would really cement his place as one of the top stars in the company and as one of the top heels, a spot he should embrace and would be great at. The fans already despise him for being forced down our throats before by WWE Management and just imagine the heat if he took out Taker too. I don’t want to see Taker lose anymore at the biggest event of the year, but I think that it would be “best for business” if it did happen. And it probably will.

Winner: Roman Reigns

Non-Sanctioned Match
Seth Rollins vs. Triple H

The build has been good and the match should be really good too. I expect that we’ll see Samoa Joe make an appearance and cause some craziness for Seth during the match. I also kind of expect that this should be the place that Finn Balor makes his return and helps to counter Joe, thus cancelling any advantage that the man who “kills bitches dead”, gives to HHH. Bottom line though is that, if Seth doesn’t win, what was the point of all of this? HHH is “The Game” and all of that, but Seth will be the winner. And that’s how it should be.

Winner: Seth Rollins

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

I think this match will be more entertaining than most people are expecting. AJ is truly a phenomenal talent and Shane is a spot monkey who can be carried to a good match. Look for Shane to do something crazy and stupid and get his “spot” in. And AJ will put on a clinic of moves and show everyone why he truly is one of the best wrestlers, if not THE best wrestler in the world today. And the “face that runs the place”, the “champ who runs the camp”, the former and future multiple-time champion, will walk out with his arm raised as he takes that trip to the pay window.

Winner: AJ Styles

Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match – WWE Raw Women’s Championship
Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

This should be another great match with the ladies of WWE RAW. I’m not really a big fan of Nia Jax, but she has a role to play as the resident monster and I think she’ll perform that role quite well in this match. And then you have Bayley, Charlotte and Sasha, three of the “Four Horsewomen” of NXT. So far, all of Sasha’s runs with the title have been short and sweet and I don’t really see another title reign in her immediate future. Bayley just doesn’t do it for me and I think her future has a possible match and face-off against Stephanie McMahon in it. At least I hope so. So that leaves “The Queen”, truly in my my opinion, the best overall female performer on the WWE roster. She’s not the absolute best in ring or talker, but she’s like her dad and has that total package going on. When you see her, you think “Champ”. I think she’s ready to get that Raw Woman’s Championship back around her waist and this match, in front of millions of fans, both live and on the Network, will be her night.

Winner and NEW WWE Raw Women’s Champion: Charlotte

WWE United States Championship Match
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens

Common sense says that since Jericho is going to be leaving the company to work some tour dates with Fozzy for the next few months, that he should lose this match and drop the title to Owens. But for me, that seems just too straight forward, especially if Owens plans to get involved in the Goldberg versus Brock match, as I hope he does. I’m thinking that Owens and Jericho will put on a great match full of action and excitement, as only these two are capable of doing. Owens will dominate most of the match, trying to “put his former BFF out of action for good!”. But in the end, with victory in his sight, the slightest of errors by Owens takes place and the wily veteran, Jericho, takes advantage to capture the win and retain the title. Then they can do an “injury angle” the next night on RAW, causing Jericho to lose the belt and help build another star, Sami Zayn perhaps. And Owens can move on to business with the WWE Universal Championship. Works for me.

Winner and STILL WWE United States Champion: Chris Jericho

Mixed Tag Team Match
John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

I’ve really enjoyed the build for this match and that is something I never thought I’d be saying about a John Cena or a Nikki Bella match. Miz and Maryse have been incredible. Miz has really cemented his spot as the heart and soul of the WWE and a top heel for the company. He’s really come into his own as probably the hardwest working man in WWE, just behind his rival, John Cena. I’m torn as to how this match should go though. Cena is moving into a part time role with the company and winning or losing, it won’t affect him in the slightest. He and Nikki are pretty much teflon at this point. Miz is awesome (pun intended) and a win here would be a great way to really cement that spot at the top of the roster and maybe move on to the WWE Championship picture. But a frustrated and pissed off Miz, as he would be if he had to eat a loss on Sunday night, is just great entertainment and would only give him more fuel to add to the incredible amount of heat he already generates. No matter how it goes, I think it’s a win – win for Miz. As long as the match delivers and his reaction afterwards is classic Miz, he’s moving on to bigger and better. It has to happen. I think that the WWE Power Couple of Cena and Nikki will take the win when Nikki pins Maryse. That gives Miz a scapegoat to blame for the loss, it makes the fans happy and it makes everyone wonder what happens next. Sounds like a plan to me.

Winners: John Cena and Nikki Bella

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin

Talk about a match that’s lost in the shuffle and here we go. I remember a few things going on between Ambrose and Corbin, but the build for this has been pretty lackluster at best. Ambrose has gone from so hot and on fire to just “eh” at best and Corbin isn’t doing much better. He’s still on the track to be a strong mid-card player, but the momentum has slowed. But despite all of that, this should be a good match too. These guy have a good chemistry and it may end up being the dark horse match of the night where no one expects anything, but it turns out to steal the show. These guys have the potential and it all depends on booking and how much time they’re given. I think that we’ll see Corbin manage to get a good, solid victory here and the title. Ambrose is better chasing a title than as a Champion and it’s time for Corbin to get a taste of wearing some gold.

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Baron Corbin

Triple Threat Ladder Match – WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Match
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Cesaro and Sheamus

This is the wild and crazy spotfest match of the night and I’m expecting that we’ll see a little crimson, especially after Sheamus was busted open, hardway, this past Monday night. All of these guys are so big though, with the exception of Enzo, that it might end up being a little messy with all of that flesh mixed with steel ladders thrown together. For a feel-good moment, I could see giving Enzo and Cass the titles. Everyone loves Enzo for some reason and it would make the fans happy. I don’t think Cesaro and Shemaus have a future as tag team champions again. They had their run and while they’re a good and solid team, it was okay at best. The best option, in my opinion, would be to have Anderson and Gallows retain so that they could have bragging rights about how great a team they are and keep daring people to try and knock them off. That makes the most sense in the long run, letting Gallows and Anderson be the tag team they were meant to be. But WWE doesn’t think like that and I think they’ll go for a “happy moment” instead. Gallows and Anderson can regain the titles at Raw or on the next pay-per-view, but for Sunday night, we’re getting new champions. How you doing?

Winners and NEW WWE Raw Tag Team Champions: Enzo Amore and Big Cass

And there you go, my predictions and thoughts for NXT Takeover: Orlando and Wrestlemania 33. Both should be really good shows and I’m looking forward to sitting here and watching both events on my computer. I’m not as psyched as I should be, but as we get closer to the weekend and once I watch the WWE Hall of Fame Ceremony on Friday night, I’m sure that will all change and I’ll be in prime form and ready for all of the action.

Before I go, I want to do a little of quick Q&A with a few questions that I found in my Facebook groups over the past few days. They’re wrestling related, of course and I haven’t done any kind of Q&A column in quite a while (except for over at my blogsite, http://www.tossingsalt.wordpress.com, where I write about anything and everything on a regular basis). Here are the questions and my responses.

Wrestling Q&A…

You have your own promotion. Who would be your Champions? Please NO WWE GUYS. ONLY GUYS FROM THE CROCKETT ERA OR LIKE TERRITORIES.

World Champion : Ric Flair
US Champion: Rick Steamboat
NWA TV Champion: Arn Anderson
Mid Atlantic Champion: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine
World Tag Champions: The Midnight Express w/ Jim Cornette
Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Champions: Ole Anderson & Stan Hansen

Who was the best commentator?

I would love to say Bob Caudle since he’s the voice of Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling and that’s what I grew up on, but it’s not that easy to answer anymore. Tony Schaivone, when he first started out and before he was burnt out, was excellent. Jim Ross is damn good and Michael Cole can do a great job when he’s not being over-produced by Vince and his earphones. I think though, for my personal favorite, I’m going back to the old school and the then-host of World Wide Wrestling for Jim Crockett Promotions, Mr. Rich Landrum. And Bobby “the Brain” Heenan and “Dirty” Dutch Mantell were my two favorite color guys of all time.

Has there ever been a PPV in which every current wrestler on the roster appeared?

The only ones that I can think of is way back when WCW held their World War 3 pay-per-views with the three ring sixty man cluster-f*cks they called a Battle Royal. I think WWE has come close with the past few Wrestlemania’s, with the Andre the Giant Battle Royals, but I’m just guessing at that. I’ll give WCW the nod for this question. And of course, Wrestlemania 33. With twelve matches and a 30-man Battle Royal, I think they’re going to be bringing everyone available, as well as pulling people in from off the streets (or WrestleCon) to fill all of the available spots.

If you are a WWE employee in charge of promotional material, which five individuals would you include on the WrestleMania poster this year?

Brock Lesnar, AJ Styles, The Undertaker, Bill Goldberg & Charlotte Flair.

And with that, I’m going to bring this to an end. Thanks for reading. Comments and thoughts are welcome and much appreciated. I’m Doug and as the great legend, Baron Von Raschke (why isn’t he in the WWE Hall of Fame?) would say, “dat is all de’ people need to know!”. Have a great one and enjoy all of the action this weekend. Don’t forget to support your local Indy wrestling. I’ll see you next time.

Ubuntu!

Maxine Walters and A Really Weird (And Fun) Survey…

I was planning on writing a column today, doing the “Wrestling Fact or Fiction” thing, as well as predictions for NXT Takeover: Orlando and Wrestlemania 33, but I’m just not feeling it right now. So that gets put on the back burner until late tonight or tomorrow at the latest. As for today, what is there to talk about? Has that giraffe had the baby yet? I guess I’m going to do a survey. I found this one online and it’s slightly weird and odd. It’s a great way to pass the time and it’s even more entertaining than Maxine Walter’s fake hair. I would make a comment, as Bill O’Reilly did about how it looks like a “James Brown wig”, but I don’t want to insult a musical icon and legend like James Brown by comparing him in any way to a fake, lying, two-faced, hypocritical, stupid idiot like Congresswoman Walters. This woman is so dumb, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose JIF. Yes, that’s a very old and dated joke, but admit it, you laughed. Or should have. Maxine Walters is dumb! (How dumb is she?) She is so dumb, she couldn’t tell you which way an elevator was going if she had two choices. She is so dumb, her intellect is only rivaled by garden tools. She is so dumb, not even Google can translate her. She is so dumb, she put two M&M’s in her ears and thought she was listening to Eminem. She’s so dumb, she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s. She’s so dumb, she took her dog to Pet Smart to get an IQ test (and the dog scored much higher than her). She’s so dumb, she picked Dunkin’ Donuts as her favorite basketball team. She’s so dumb, she cut open a pineapple and yelled, “Spongebob, where are you?”. I could do this all day. She is so dumb, she thought a runny nose was an exercise.

I guess I’d better quit before someone sees this and accuses me of being racist, which is of course, the usual argument against anyone who doesn’t have any use for a person of another race. I don’t care about her skin color. I just care that she’s a total idiot. And the really bad thing is, compared to Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Walters is a Mensa candidate. But that’s all a blog for another day. You’ll have to vote for that blog to see what’s in it. But if you like your plan, you can keep your plan. And if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. How did all of that work out? At least “the Donald” will save us all. We’re totally f*cked! But it could be worse. It could be Hillary. Oops! Sorry. The comments keep coming out and I can’t help it. Our choices were Donald & Hillary, aka “Turd” and “Douchebag”. How did Trey Parker and Matt Stone get it so right. Oh vey!

Let’s just go ahead and do this survey. I’m going to go do this and then either go make a pot of homemade chicken and dumplings (or) go out in the middle of the street and do my impressions of “Gene Gene the Dancing Machine”. Which will it be? Have to wait and see. Let’s do this…

A Very Weird Survey…

001. What is Your Name?
Well, you can call me Ray or you can call me Jay or by my birth name, Doug. But I prefer “Sir” or “Master”.

002. How old are you?
Old enough to know better, but young enough to be in denial and try anyhow.

003. What is the link to your website, blog, or myspace?
I can’t even get on my MySpace anymore. But find me on Facebook at facebook.com/saltpalace. I think that’s it. Let me know if it’s not.

Weird & Random 😉

004. What is your favorite talking fruit?
The guys from St. Andrews wearing skinny jeans and man-buns on their head.

005. What’s you favorite talking animal?
My cat, Goldie. She talks to me all the time. She has a strong accent in “Felinebonics”, but I understand her.

006. What is your best friend’s Mom’s name?
That would be Amy… And he’s not just my “best friend”, but also my “heterosexual life mate”. Yeah, my nigga, you stuck with me… lol

007. Where is the weirdest place you have a mole?
I am currently mole free, although I have seen some trails in our yard where they’ve been out there digging.

008. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
I can’t really think of any teachers I had that were all that. But then again, it’s been almost 35 years since I was in school and my memory sucks so what do I know anyhow?

009. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
I’m not sure if it would count as “making out”, but there was some activity. Yeah, we can call it “making out”. Works for me.

010. What body part do you wash first?
Stomach, chest and privates. I got to be clean and smelling fresh.

011. Do you hover over the toilet in public bathrooms?
I try to avoid public bathrooms as much as possible. This is NC, after all, and there might be some confused transgenderites in the stall next to me, trying to figure out if that’s a penis or a vagina in between their legs, totally unsure of what to do next. (I’m joking by the way. Don’t hate me!)

012. What’s the strangest talent you have?
Thats for me (and your boyfriend) to know and for people who want to watch the video to find out. Damn, I sound like WWE’s Paige, don’t I?

013. What’s your favorite flavored Pringles?
The regular, plain, simple ones. I’m not into all those fancy flavors. Thats why they make dips.

014. Have you ever been tied up? Do you want to be?
With neckties and with licorice. Also handcuffed, It was kind of fun and I’d do it again with the right person (like your boyfriend),

015. What was the last thing you ever got grounded for?
I have no idea. That was a long, long, long time ago. Probably would have been for going somewhere without leaving a note, but I’m just guessing on that.

016. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
Yeah, I guess we can call them “dates”… lol

017. How many times have you been cussed out?
I’ve worked in customer service and with the public for over thirty-five years. Use your imagination, multiply that by ten and add twenty-five. It’s more than that…

018. Which shoe do you put on first?
Whichever one happens to be closest to my hand when I reach out to pick up a shoe. Duh!

019. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
Yeah. That’s where I met your boyfriend.

020. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
They’re human and generally alive and breathing. Well, there was that one, but that was just a passing fancy and he was cold to my advances. But the rest, all alive and not on life support.

021. Did you French kiss before you were 16?
Yes, but it wasn’t with a French… it was with an American.

022. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
Cow tipping – yes. Snipe hunting? Nope. I can’t remember when they come into season.

023. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
It varies, but generally it’s my BFF or one of my exes (damn you, Mr. Haney). And sometimes, it’s a fictional character from one of my fiction stories that I’m working on.

024. Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you?
YES!

025. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel ever again, which would you rather not wash?
The bath towel.. I can drip dry if it gets too nasty. But bed sheets. I know who and what has been in that bed and they have to be washed weekly (at least that often).

026. Have you ever found anything in your parents’ bedroom that was questionable?
I have, but I won’t talk about my dad’s “smoking habit” here. And that was 38 years ago, by the way.

027. What was your childhood nickname?
I don’t know if I even had one. My Mom’s friend Stuart, used to call me “George”.

028. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
I don’t play the air guitar. I prefer the air drums or the skin flute.

029. If Abe Lincoln and George Washington got into a fight who’d win?
Abe Lincoln. He has the height and reach advantage and was an accomplished wrestler in his youth. George was a soldier and I’m sure was a tough guy, but if Abe could ever get him down, it’s be over pretty quickly.

030. How far east can you go before you’re heading west?
Is this one of those trick questions trying to show why we needed to learn algebra in school or is it just some kind of Common Core problem. I say, “Green”.

031. Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
I don’t think they could properly look into their own mouths or over-charge themselves with their billing very well, so they probably go to their former partners / proteges and let them do the dental work needed.

032. Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hotdogs?
I don’t know, but I guess it’s because no one could keep a straight face ordering a “McWeiner”. Thats why Burger King is better. They have hot dogs… and they’re good too. Overpriced, but still quite yummy, especially if you’re hungry and have coupons.

033. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
The one that my arm is resting on. And it’s not really mine. It belongs to the theater and I’m just borrowing it while I watch the movie and make out with your boyfriend.

034. What is Satan’s last name?
Smith

035. Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don’t have toes?
Hang it on the thumb.

036. If corn cobs could go to the toilet, would they use the male, female, or the unicorn bathroom?
In North Carolina, they would use the bathroom that matches their birth certificate.

037. If you went to a store where everything costs $1.00, then shouldn’t you be able to buy everything for $1.00?
That’s a nice idea. I’ll mention that next time I go to Dollar Tree and see if they’ll go for it.

038. Why is it called a missile if it’s meant to hit a target, shouldn’t they change the name to succeedile or hitile?
If it’s meant to hit Target, then Wal-Mart probably sent it. Wal-Mart is the most evil place on earth.

039. If you’re addicted to smoked cheese, can you get cheese patches?
Now you’re getting silly. Cheese is not addictive. Unless it’s in the can. Canned cheese is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity.

040. If the answer is blowing in the wind, then is the question swimming in the waves?
I refuse to answer any questions. Ask your boyfriend. He knows.

041. If you jaywalk in a J shape, then are you automaticaly considered a criminal mastermind?
Or a stupid idiot. Either way, guess where you’re going. That’s right. You’re going on “the LIST!”

042. If you’re your own grandpa and you commit suicide, then is it also considered grand-patricide?
Only if the DNA matches and you’re somewhere else besides West Virginia or South Carolina.

043. How can you ‘lend’ someone a helping hand when you can’t take it out?
I know how to lend “a hand”… Ask your boyfriend and he’ll tell you.

044. If a bus stops at a bus station, does your work stop at your workstation?
Work stops and comes to a complete standstill at my “workstation” all the time. I ain’t getting paid enough to work AND socialize too so something had to give.

045. Wrong to go wrong always? How many wrongs did I say?
Just enough to be considered a stupid idiot. You are on “the List!”.

046. Favorite: Is this even a question? I plead the fifth. Or drink a fifth. Or something like that.

047. Favorite Food? – Chinese (all of it. I’m hungry!)

048. Favorite dessert? Banana Pudding

049. Favorite Planet? Planet of the Apes

050. Favorite Country? Willie, Waylon, Bare & Jones, with a touch of Conway thrown in for good measure… and Jessi.

051. Favorite Movie? The one that I write, produce, direct and makes me millions of dollars… or Clerks.

052. Favorite Game? The game of life…

053. Favorite Song? The Barney song.

054. Favorite Anime? I don’t do anime (except for with your boyfriend. He’s a kinky freak. Did you know that?)

055. Favorite Fictional Character? To write about, Barnabas Collins (from Dark Shadows) and Dr. Druid (from Marvel comics).

056. Favorite Non-Fiction Character? My BFF… He’s as real as it gets and far better than any TV show or book. How is this guy still alive?

057. Favorite Pokemon? Poke Man? Too easy to make a joke about your boyfriend so I won’t. But your brother knows.

058. Favorite Place? In bed or out walking late at night.

059. Favorite Toy? The “your boyfriend” jokes are getting old, aren’t they? But when that’s the answer that fits best, what else can I do?

060. Favorite Parent? Mom – she’s all I have left and if I don’t say her, she’ll smack me in the head with her shoe. Love that woman!

And that’s all for now. Now, do I go cook or go dance? I think I’ll go call my BFF and see what he and the mini-me are doing. Love them guys. I’ll be back either later tonight or tommorow. See you then (and tell your boyfriend I said “Hi” and to “Call me!”). Later gators.

Ubuntu!

Interview With Myself…

I found something called an “Interview With Myself”. It’s not too much different than the surveys that I like to do sometimes except that the questions are a little more on the serious side. You know that I have to do it, right? So let’s just do it…

Before I get going, I’d like to thank myself for agreeing to this interview with me. I’ve been a big fan of myself for a long time and it’s a thrill and honor for me to sit down with myself and ask myself these questions. I can’t wait to hear how I answer.

And now, if I’m ready, shall I begin? Let’s get started, shall I?…

1. What Do You Do For A Living?

I do many things including write this blog that you’re reading, write the occasional wrestling column, write fan-fiction stories, pick up contributions for Hope In Christ Ministries and their food bank, give great massages and sleep. But the thing I do to earn a paycheck and pay my bills is work in retail, providing great customer service to the men and women of Scotland County at the local store that distributes Fine Spirits.

2. Who Do You Love?

I love my friends, my family, my cat, myself, etc. No particular person right now am I “in love” with, but I have a great many that I care for and appreciate, some more strongly than others.

3. Do You Have Enough Money?

Unfortunately, not really. The bills and expenses generally tend to add up to more than my current income, but I adjust and get by as best I can. There are many others in far worse financial shape than I am and I’m pretty good at stretching a dollar and managing my money. Would I like to make more? Absolutely, but money isn’t everything and I’d rather be struggling and be generally happy / content than have a ton of money and be miserable.

4. Are You Healthy?

Nope, not really. I live in daily pain and while some days are better than others, I hurt constantly. I also suffer from depression, anxiety and am moody as hell. Some may call it bi-polar, but I jujst blame that on being a writer. We’re supposed to be crazy. So am I healthy? If I ever actually went to a doctor and got a full physical, blood work, x-rays and everything else, I would either be put on medication the rest of my life and declared to be disabled or else they would just put a “condemned” sign around my neck and tell me to get the hell out of their office. I wish I was joking on this, but it is what it is. I’ll be okay though. I’m too damn stubborn not to be.

5. Do You Think You Are a Good Person?

I think that for the most part, I am pretty decent. I don’t think I’ve ever intentionally ever hurt anyone and I try to look out for others whenever I can. That’s a question more for others to answer though instead of me.

6. How Old Are You?

Physically, I am the big “50”. Mentally, it varies from day to day and moment to moment. Age is just a number anyhow.

7. Who’s Your Best Friend?

I have several people who would fit that description, each in a different way. But currently, my BFF and the Jay to my Silent Bob is the infamous K-Mak, aka Kenneth. It’s an odd relationship and most people don’t get it because of the age difference and the lack of things in common, but he’s my little brother, my best friend and a great guy. Age doesn’t matter. Like I said earlier, it’s just a number. And the stuff we don’t necessarily share in common or agree on, so what? We connected, almost from Day 1. I get him and surprisingly enough, he seems to get me too. It is what it is and despite the occasional bumpy trail, I know that when push comes to shove, he’s got my back, no questions asked and he knows I’ll alaways have his as well.

8. What’s Your Childhood Dream?

When I was a youngster, I wanted to be one of three things. Either a professional wrestler, a writer or a weather man. Now, I write about professional wrestling, along with about a million other things, so I think that’s a happy compromise. As for the weather man part, I look out the window to see if it’s raining or not. That’s about as far as it goes.

9. How Often Do You Laugh?

Internally, I laugh quite often. I’m a hilarious guy and I amuse the hell out of myself. But externally, not very often. I might crack a smile every so often and that wicked little smirk likes to show up sometimes too, but a real and true laugh, it’s a rare thing to see.

10. What Makes You Smile?

A funny joke, Kayden cutting up, a guy with a great ass and a great smile, getting to sleep the whole night through without interruptions, Are You Being Served, and someone playing with my hair.

11. Who’s Your Most Dangerous Enemy?

Myself. No one else is allowed to get close enough to harm me or cause me problems. Every major problem I’ve ever had was a direct result of my own bad judgement or an error I made, even if it was just trusting the wrong person or having faith in someone who didn’t deserve it. The old saying is that “the buck stops here”, and in my life, that’s how I feel. I can’t blame anyone but myself.

12. Where Do You Live?

Right here, in my home, where I’m at…

13. Do You Think You’re Strong?

That I haven’t stepped out in front of an 18-Wheeler or gone on a mass shooting spree as of yet… Yes, I am kind of strong or at least very resiliant.

14. What Was The Most Important Thing You’ve Done So Far?

That’s a hard question to answer. I think the work I’ve done with Hope In Christ is pretty important and had made an impact. I like to think I’ve reached out and touched some people with my writing over the years. But I guess it’s just trying to be a good son to my Mom, a good “human” to my cat, a good friend to my friends and a semi-decent person at least to the world at large.

15. What Was The Most Stupid Thing You’ve Done So Far?

Do we have all day? Allowing others to influence me and making bad decisions as a result. The DWI’s back in 1997. Danny and James. Chris. Letting my temper get the best of me many times. Letting others take advantage and take me for granted. Not staying in Wilmington when I had the opportunity and coming back to Laurinburg. Take your pick.

16. Do You Love Yourself?

At times, I do, but at other times, not so much. I’ve done so many stupid things and made some bad calls in my life and that’s a hard thing to look past. I’m getting better at thinking about myself more often and that’s a good thing, but it’s a love / hate deal at best.

17. What Do You Fear The Most?

Being alone and forgotten when I get older. I am essentially a loner and prefer my own company over that of others, but to be totally alone and not have anyone to talk to or share things with, the idea scares the hell out of me. And also, being unable to take care of myself and having to depend on others. I see how certain members of my family live and that’s not living. It’s just existing and waiting to die. If I couldn’t be independent and self-sufficent, I’d rather be dead. And I just want someone, one day, that I can share my life and experiences with as I get older. It doesn’t look as if that will ever be happening though.

18. What Is Your Favorite Word?

“Bird”… cause “Bird is the word!”… Just ask Peter Griffin on Family Guy.

19. When Was The Last Time You Cried?

Last night. I was having an anxiety attack, I was pissed off, and I couldn’t blow properly into the Ignition Lock on my car, so now I have a violation that I’ll have to go get taken care of on Wednesday morning in Southern Pines. That’s a lot of money I don’t have that I’ll be having to spend to have the machine recalibrated and I’ll eventually have to go to a hearing at the DMV Office because of this as well, where they could end up revoking my drivers license. Thinking about it all is almost making me want to cry right now. But anyhow, I have anxiety attacks sometimes and depending upon the severity of the attack, tears are a pretty common thing.

20. What Is The Best Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?

Right now? My phone would start ringing and a certain friend from New York, who I’ve been a total ass too, would be calling and we could talk. Or I’d go to Facebook and get an IM from someone wanting to hang out right now. I’m not really in a mood to be alone right now and wish I had someone to just sit outside with on the porch to talk to.

21. What Is The Worst Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?

I could fall over dead in this chair and before I had a chance to clear my browser history. That would be terrible.

22. Picture Yourself In 5 Years From Now

Hopefully, still alive and breathing. Still working at the ABC, but hopefully full time by then. Writing and blogging every day. Living here alone most likely with a bunch of cats. And all slim and sexy and looking like Rob Lowe… lol

23. Do You Regret Anything?

There are many things in my life that I have regrets about. I try not to dwell on them too much because what’s done is done and there’s nothing I can do to change the past. Plus every experience, both good and bad, is a lesson to be learned from. So yes, I have regrets. We all do. We just adjust as best we can and move on.

24. What’s The First Thing You Do In The Morning?

Wake up, get out of bed, get tangled up in my blanket, put on pants and go pee.

25. What Are You Thinking Just Before Going To Bed?

It varies from night to night, but usually it’s either about the people in my life, past and present, or about the fiction stories that I’ve written or am writing. Some of my best plots and stories come when I’m trying to go to sleep.

26. What Was The Highest Point You’ve Ever Been To?

I really don’t know. I guess it would be Pilot Mountain, NC or Blowing Rock when I was a kid. I’ve never been a big fan of high places.

27. If There’s One Thing In Your Life You Want To Change Right Now, What Is It?

I want someone here, by my side, that I can trust and love and who will always be there for me. I’m tired of being alone.

28. What Are You Proud Of?

My writing. I’ve been writing in some capacity for over twenty years and when I’m on and in the zone, some of the stuff is pretty damn good. Admittingly, some of it is pretty lame too, but I think the good exceeds the bad. I’m a writer, damn it, and I’m proud.

29. Sum Up Your Life In One Sentence

Walking that edge and not quite sure which road to follow.

30. Name The Thing That Annoys You The Most.

People… ‘Nuff said!

31. What Is Your No 1 Question To God?

I’m really not sure what I’d ask. Why is there so much suffering in the world? What is the one true religion or is there even such a thing? Why are we here? What is your plan for us? Who let the dogs out? I honestly don’t know and if given the chance, I guess I’d just have to wing it and play it by ear with whatever the first question that comes to mind might be. It could be anything.

32. Do You Have Secrets?

Everyone has secrets of some type. Some have more than others and some secrets are bigger than others, but we all have them. And yes, that includes me, although with these surveys and all of my blogs over the past years, I probably have fewer than most people. The answers are all there. You just have to know where to look. Or just ask me. That’ll work too.

33. What Makes You Laugh?

Things that are funny.. or dark & twisted, depending upon my mood.

34. Are You Happy?

Not really. I have my moments, but overall, things could be better.

And with that, I’d like to thank me for sitting down with me and allowing me to ask these questions of myself. And thanks to all of you for reading. Questions and comments are welcome. And now, I’m going over to Netflix to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Have a great night.

Ubuntu!

Music Fact Or Fiction: March 25, 2017

Music Fact Or Fiction
March 25, 2017

As anyone who has known me for any length of time is well aware, I really do hate when a customer refuses to talk. They walk into the store, a sour expression on their face as if they stepped into a pile of horse crap, the nose way up into the air. I speak as they enter, “Good morning!”, and they don’t say a word except for maybe a huff of breath. Then they approach the register to have their purchase rang up and I repeat, “Good morning!”, or “How are you today?”, or something of that nature. They just glare, never saying a word or even acknowledging that they’ve been spoken too. I ring up their sale and tell them the amount and they are just standing there, an air of arrogance mixed with a look of disgust all across their face. The transaction is completed and they just pick up their bagged item and walk away, still refusing to say anything. I say, “Have a great one!”, “Take care!”, or something of that nature. I may get an evil leer, but generally, still no response at all. I really do hate and despise these people. They need to be smacked, in the face, with a steel chair. “Will you acknowledge me now, ass-clown?”. Those people… they belong on “The List!”.

But what was I saying? Oh yes, I remember now. As anyone who regularly reads my material knows, I sometimes write an article called “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”, where the questions come from the site, 411mania.com/wrestling and the answers are all mine. It turns out that 411mania.com also has a music section and that they also do a “Fact or Fiction” column for music too. I saw this and decided that, what the hell, if I can “borrow” their wrestling questions, then I can “borrow” the music ones too and do a “Music Fact or Fiction” column. Also, I’m bored. So now we have this. The questions come from 411mania.com/music. The answers come from me. Let’s do this…

Snoop Dogg’s latest video for “Lavender” went too far with its mockery of the President.

Fiction: If Snoop was still relevant or important, this might be a big deal, but he’s not (and never really was) anyone of any major importance in my opinion and is just trying by any means possible to grab some attention and spotlight. Is it disrespectful as hell? Yes and I’d love to see someone stand up at the record company and maybe drop him as an artist or maybe some endorsements be lost as a result. It won’t happen and he wouldn’t care anyhow. The only thing that would hurt Snoop would be if his weed-connection was cut off. He’s a dumb-ass.

You’re not interested in Drake’s More Life.

Fact: Who is Drake and why does he matter anyhow? A pretty boy with an okay voice who I could care less about. “More life” or “No life”, it’s all the same to me. Next!

Frank Ocean’s song “Chanel” was a step down from his other works.

Fiction: I had to go to YouTube and look this up because I had never heard this song. It’s pretty decent and I like it. The man is an excellent singer and the song is good. What more matters than that?

Ed Sheeran will do well on Game of Thrones.

Fact: I don’t watch Game of Thrones and only have a faint notion of who Ed Sheeran even is, but I saw something about this on some site and he’s got some acting experience and a loyal following of fans so why the heck not. I don’t think the GOT producers would have hired him if they didn’t think he’d be a positive addition to the show. They hired him and he’s there so what more needs to be said?

Imagine Dragons have yet to recapture the quality of the first hit album.

Fact: I’m not even sure who the Imagine Dragons are so I had to go to Wikipedia and YouTube to find out. Not bad. As for not matching the quality of the first album, that’s a pretty common thing in the music industry. It’s called the Sophmore Slump and it happens more often than not to most musical artists. So long as they’re happy and the music company is happy and both parties make money, it’s not really a big deal. It’s just part of life in that business.

The music video for Future’s “Use Me” was below average.

Fiction: I’m not even sure of who “Future” is so I again, had to go to YouTube and watch this video. It’s not bad and I was entertained. It’s nothing special, but it’s not anything to be ashamed of or bad either.

Future’s back to back #1 debuts in the Billboard 200 is impressive.

Fact: Anytime a band can debut at #1 on the Billboard charts, it’s a good and positive thing and should be celebrated. Good for them.

Lorde’s new song “Green Light” is a good preview of her second album.

Fact: I listened to the song and liked it. Lorde has a great voice and unique sound and if this single is any indication of what the upcoming album will bring us, then good for her.

Black Sabbath will never get back together.

Fact: While never is a long time, look at the facts. Everyone who matters with Black Sabbath is old. Very old. And Bill Ward, when the last opportunity to reunite came up, was a bit of a prick about his pay scale and role. Ozzy doesn’t need Black Sabbath and without Ozzy as the frontman, what is the point of a reunion anyhow? Stick a fork in them – they’re done.

Jay Z is right about the state of modern radio.

Fact: I generally don’t give a damn about anything that Jay Z says, but he’s right in that radio’s role in making music stars and promoting new songs is as low now as it’s ever been. It’s all about YouTube, I-Tunes and the internet now. Radio still has a role, but most artists can take it or leave it with little consequence or effect on their career. Video killed the radio star and now, the internet and I-Tunes are killing the radio stars. It’s a nasty and vicious cycle.

Even after the casting announcements, you’re still not sold on the Tupac/Biggie TV series.

Fact: Let the two men rest in peace. Biggie is dead and Tupac lives in Cuba. They’re history. Forget about it!

You’re interested in Coldplay’s new EP Kaleidoscope.

Fiction: Coldplay doesn’t interest me, period.

A Taylor Swift streaming service would have to be cheap to be successful.

Fact: If I want to listen to Taylor Swift, and honestly, why would I anyhow, I just go to YouTube and pull up her videos. She’s a good singer and songwriter and all of that, but all Taylor, all the time? Would I pay for that? Would anyone honestly pay for that? I don’t think so.

Breaking Spotify records isn’t as big a deal as music websites say it is.

Fiction: I personally don’t care, but what the hell. Records are made to be broken and if a band breaks a record on Spotify, they should tell everyone and shout it to the wind. Be proud and loud because it’s all about perception in the entertainment industry and any successes do matter.

As it turns 20 this year, Selena is still one of the best music biopics.

Fiction: I watched it once and have never watched it again. In comparison, the movie “The Doors”, starring Val Kilmer, I’ve watched at least a dozen times. “I Walk The Line”, the biopic of Johnny Cash, I’ve watched probably fifteen or more times. The Selena movie is okay, but one of the best? Nah, I don’t think so.

Mariah Carey’s animated Christmas movie won’t be very successful.

Fact: Mariah Carey has gone from a talented singer to an over-rated joke of a Diva over the past several years. The only one who really cares anymore about Mariah is Mariah. This attempt at staying relevant will bomb, just like she did back on New Year’s Eve. A waste of everyone’s time to be sure.

You’re not interested in a memoir from Gucci Mane.

Fact: I had to ask my brother who Gucci Mane is and after he clarified for me and told me a bit of the man’s story, I admit that I was a bit interested. I like some of his songs (but don’t tell anyone because I have a reputation to maintain.) But I expect, if he does write a memoir, he’ll leave out the best stuff, sugarcoat the rest and who really wants to read something like that. If he tells the full and honest truth, someone will probably end up killing him (or at least trying to again). He hasn’t had enough of a career to fill out a book yet anyhow and except for killing people, there’s nothing to see or read. Forget about it!

Chuck Berry’s legacy as a rock and roll pioneer is intact.

Fact: He sang “Johnny B. Goode”. He made singing about his “Ding-A-Ling” a big hit that was even parent approved. He’s a legend, an icon and has a legacy as one of the first and one of the best. No matter what else happened in his life and history, that legacy remains strong and will go on for years to come. RIP Chuck Berry. You were definitely one of the best.

And there you go with my first trip into the music world, at least in this format. What do you think? How did I do? Thoughts and comments are welcome. And now, it’s time for breakfast… and maybe then, a nap. I’m Doug and I’m down and gone. Catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!disco 2