Thirty Days Of Dougie III – Day One: “Stoopid” and “Grandpa Raymond”.

So what, you ask, is the “Thirty Days of Dougie” series? It’s pretty simple actually. It’s an opportunity for me to write and think and communicate to the world. What I do is take a random word, drawn from a box full of slips of paper, and write about that subject or topic. Doesn’t that sound like fun? And the challenge here is to see if I can keep doing this for thirty days straight, keep it at least semi-interesting and in the overall scheme of things, learn more about myself and the world in which we exist. Oh, what a load of crap. I want to write and damn it all, I’m going to write. And that is what this is all about. For the next thirty days, I’m doing this every day and nothing is off limits or too taboo. Stick around for the ride. It’s going to be fun.

And let’s just jump right into it, shall we? Shall I write about the person who keeps coming into my store and starting trouble. Note that I called her a “person” and not a “two-bit curb whore”, “piece of gutter trash”, “ass-clown”, “piece of garbage with two legs” or “”chicken-head slut”, even though all of those descriptions certainly would apply. But I’m trying to stay on a higher level here. She had the freakin’ nerve to say that she was “going to get me fired” and that I “don’t like black people”. She’s welcome to try on the first part, but I’m not stressing it. And as for the second declaration, I could care less about a person’s race, religion, sexual oritentation or gender. I just don’t like her. It’s that simple. And if she wants to have at it, so be it. Two words for you, my sleazy little gutter-slut ho’ friend… Bite Me!

Okay, I probably shouldn’t write about that. It might turn people off and offend someone and I certainly wouldn’t want to do that. So what should I write about? How about that idiot over at MSNBC saying that someone should defecate in Sarah Palin’s mouth? Not Ed Shutltz… the other idiot. No, it’s not Keith Olbermann… the other idiot. Not Rachel Maddow… it’s the other idiot. Hell, there are so many low-life scum-buckets at that network of liars, hypocrites and pinheads that’s it’s hard to pick just one. Martin Boogersheer or whatever his name is. The imported British racist penciled-necked geek. I could talk about how repulsive his comments (and the guy in general) is, but that’s kind of boring.

I can talk about wrestling! Nah, I’ve got plans for a “Survivor Series” prediction column either tomorrow or Saturday so I should leave the wrestling talk for then. I just don’t know what I should do this epic beginning of the series piece about. Damn, I hate decisions.

I guess I’ll just reach into the “magic box” and pull out two topics and that’ll be what I get to ramble on and on about. Why the heck not. So let’s go for it and see what comes up. The topics for today are… “Sitcoms” and “Commercials”. Oh great, two subjects I have absolutely no interest in writing about right now. Can I do a recount and draw a couple of other topics instead? I know it kind of defeats the purpose of this whole exercise to show that I can write about anything and make it interesting, but give me a break (which incidentially happens to be the name of a sitcom from the 80’s that starred Nell Carter). It’s my blog and my rules and I’m going to draw two more topics to write about instead.

So here we go. And the topics are… “Stoopid” and “Grandpa Raymond”.

This is much better. So let’s get the easy one out of the way first and that’s “Stoopid”. By the way, the wrong spelling is intentional. Alice Cooper, the greatest musical entertainer of all time in my opinion, spelled it that way on his album (and song), “Hey Stoopid”. The song was an anti-suicide message and the album was simply awesome and amazing. If you haven’t listened to it, go find it and listen. The whole album is great and Alice is de’ man!

So what is “stoopid” to me? People who spend their whole life just looking for that next drink or rock or pill. People who would rather blame everyone else for their problems rather than look in a mirror. People who put on that fake-ass character just to “fit in” and “be part of the crowd”. People who voted for Obama in the second election. (I give the people in the 2008 election a pass – Obama talked a good game and John McCain is an idiot so America bought the hype and elected him. Anyone who voted for him the second time around after already seeing what kind of a piss-poor President he’s turned out to be… no pass for you. That was stoopid!) And people who are closed minded and hate something simply because it’s not what they’re used to or is different, be it music, a person because of their race or gender or sexual orientation or religion), or anything really. If your mind is so closed that you can’t appreciate the differences between people, places and things, I have to tell you something. You’re stoopid!

I wonder how many of my “friends” I’ve pissed off so far?

Summing it up, go with the flow and keep that mind open. Accept responsibility for yourself and your situation and don’t be so quick to pass the buck or blame. And be yourself and be real – not a fake. If you can’t do these things, guess what? ‘Nuff said!

And now, for Grandpa Raymond.

This is about my dad’s father, who I barely remember. He died when I was eight, but the few memories I have and the stories I’ve heard are pretty cool. He smoked almost constantly and was rarely without a Winston in his mouth. He was a great cook and took care of most of the cooking for his family up until his death. He worked most of his life as a shop-keeper and postmaster for a small post office. Picture Ike Godsey on “The Waltons” and you have my Grandpa Raymond. And he was a great guy who loved his children, his family and his grandkids.

I wish I knew more, but unfortunately, that’s not the case. All we have are a few old pictures and everyone who might possibly be able to tell me more is either too far away or dead now, so my resources are limited. But the few memories I have are good ones. He was a good guy. Rest in peace, Grandpa Raymond Maynard.

And there you go. It’s kind of rough and all over the place, but that’s the end of Day 1 of my “Thirty Days Of Dougie III” blog. Only 29 more to go. See you tomorrow.

Ubuntu!