WWE Survivor Series (2013) Predictions
November 22, 2013

Coming up on Sunday night is the WWE Survivor Series. It looks like a fairly solid card on paper, but the hype and build hasn’t really been all that great by the WWE. But then again, the WWE hasn’t really been all that big with the push for any of their pay-per-views as of late. Just take the fans for granted, expect that they’ll buy it, and move on to the next show. At least that’s how it seems to me. Anyhow, let’s look at the show and try to pick some winners and losers.

WWE Championship Match
Randy Orton (c) versus The Big Show

Randy Orton and The Big Show… in 2013? Really? Really? Really? This is not a match I want to see and even though Show has been looking good as of late, this match is going to blow chunks big (show) time. Randy says he’s can’t beat Show on his own.This is Show’s golden moment and opportunity to be the “face of the WWE”. Just shoot me now. Orton wins with the RKO and retains the title after some outside help.

Winner and STILL WWE Champion: Randy Orton

World Championship Match
John Cena (c) versus Alberto Del Rio

And in our other big match, John Cena (again) versus Alberto Del Rio (again). I’m so tired of both of these men. Where is Christian? Where is Mark Henry? Where is Chris Jericho? Where is the Disco Inferno? Anyone… please! *sighs*. Cena is hurting again with the arm and may have come back too soon. They’re going to want him healthy for the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania XXX, so I’m saying he needs to take some more time off. “Injury” to Cena and a new World Champion.

Winner and NEW World Champion: Alberto Del Rio

Intercontinental Championship Match
Big E. Langston (c) versus Curtis Axel

Langston just won the title on Monday. Axel, thus far, has been somewhat of a letdown for the WWE. I like him, but most fans don’t seem to get him and his booking against CM Punk was terrible. So Langston retains and Axel moves on to fight his former mentor and manager, Paul Heyman and the next “Paul Heyman guy”.

Winner and STILL Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston

Daniel Bryan & CM Punk versus The Wyatt Family (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan) w/ Bray Wyatt

I like all five of these guys and don’t want to see any of them have to lose, but to be honest, I don’t think it really matters here so long as the match is good (and I think this will be the show-stealing match of the night). It’s the “feel good” moment for the fans so we’ll see “The Beard and The Best” take the pin and victory. But the war will continue and it’ll just make the Wyatt’s stronger and better as they lose the match, but leave Punk and Bryan laid out.

Winners: Daniel Bryan and CM Punk

Kofi Kingston versus The Miz

This is the match that kicks off the event and it’s two of the best. Miz just turned heel so he probably should win, but he won’t. Kofi takes the pin and that leaves Miz something to bitch, piss and moan about on MizTV on RAW. Works for me.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Jey & Jimmy Uso, Rey Mysterio versus The SHIELD (Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins) & The Real Americans (Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro) w/ Zeb Colter

Rey Mysterio shouldn’t be in this match. He’s not ready to come back and I expect he’ll be eliminated early in the match. It’s elimination style so it should go fast and furious and we’ll see a lot of quick pins and submissions. And I just have a feeling that the push isn’t over yet as The Shield / Real Americans team takes the win, with Ambrose and Cesaro as the final two men standing.

Winners: The Shield & The Real Americans

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
The Cast of Total Divas (Natalya, The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki Bella), The Funkadactyls (Naomi and Cameron) Eva Marie, & JoJo) vs. AJ Lee, Tamina Snuka, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Aksana, & Summer Rae

Total Divas means money and ratings, so even though all of the ladies who can actually wrestle are on the AJ & friends team, the TV hotties will take the win and victory. I’m throwing up in my mouth already.

Winners: The Total Divas Cast

Ryback Issues An Open Challenge…

He’s going to call out someone… and I’m expecting (hoping) that the World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry will answer. And as for the potential match / brawl, they’ve got some unfinished business to settle from a couple of years ago and I want to see Ryback enter the “Hall of Pain”…

And there you go. That’s all folks. See you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!