Thirty Days Of Dougie III – Day 5: Truth, Lies and Alibis
November 26, 2013

One of the most popular things on Facebook as of late has been where someone makes a list of “truths” about themselves. You comment or “like” and they give you a number and you’re supposed to list that many “truths” about yourself. And a couple of my friends and I decided to put a different twist on things and we listed “lies” about ourselves.

So what I’m going to do for Day 5 of the “Thirty Days of Dougie III” series is list thirty things about myself. 15 are true and 15 are lies. Yeah, this is strictly filler material, but what the hell. It’s fun and I have to write something. So here we go…

The First Fifteen…

1. I have a hard time being comfortable around most people. I can “fake it” for a while, but people make me nervous.
2. I’m a registered democrat, but rarely vote for Democratic candidates.
3. I sing in the shower.
4. The person I most enjoy hanging out with these days is two years old. His parents are pretty cool too though.
5. I love to cook and am looking forward to going all out for Thanksgiving Day.
6. The earring I usually wear was given to me by a good friend many years ago and I wear it in his memory.
7. I have been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety attacks and am most likely bi-polar, but it was never officially diagnosed.
8. I refuse to take the medication that was prescribed for those issues I just listed because it kills my creative fires and leaves me feeling like a zombie.
9. I prefer cats over dogs.
10. I hate it when people text me and I text back and then don’t hear anything else from them.
11. I sometimes feel as if I was born in the wrong time and ear. Other times, I know it.
12. I don’t play PS-3. X-Box or any of those other games.
13. I have burned many bridges in my past and some I regret… others, not so much.
14. I had a great father AND a great step-father. I was truly blessed.
15. I’ve owned three volkswagens in my life and would love to have another one.

The Second Fifteen…

1. I was once a back-up singer for Aretha Franklin, but I left that job to go work as a hairstylist for Justin Beiber.
2. I once had a suit made out of human hair and raisins.
3. When I get bored, I read the dictionary.
4. I once auditioned for a role in a major movie, but was passed over for a woman named Linda because I was too young.
5. My favorite flower is poison ivy.
6. I love elevator music.
7. I once caught a 300lb great white shark using a paperclip and piece of bubble gum.
8. I love to put hot sauce on my ice cream.
9. I have a great recipe for boiled ice cubes.
10. I have a great pair of possum-skinned boots.
11. Captain Kangaroo taught me everything I know about “pimpin”.
12. I was married to Britney Spears for three and 1/2 minutes.
13. I like to use peanut butter as toothpaste.
14. I would love to perform stand-up in front of 100,000 people.
15. I only wear pink socks.

And there you go. See you next time.

Ubuntu!