I’m just sitting here surrounded by darkness, a lost child of the night.
There was a time, not so long ago really, that I not only would enjoy this, but would have thrived in the blackness of the night air.
Those days are now past though and I find myself alone, scared and totally lost.
I’ve always tried to be optimistic, looking for the good in everyone and everything
and even though I prefer to dwell in darkness, I always found myself looking towards the light.
I don’t see the light anymore.
I have lost all that matters and have nothing left to give.
Nothing left to fight for. My career is in shambles.
My friendships are non-existent and unreal.
And those that I hold in high esteem have proven to be too far away, in both body and spirit, to reach out to.
I have nothing.
I live for nothing.
I am nothing.
I’ve always had dreams, but the dreams have become nightmares.
I’ve always had hope, but those hopes have been shattered.
My body had betrayed me.
My soul is twisted and rotting away and I can’t stop the decline.
I don’t even want to anymore.
I’m alive, but I don’t live.
I smile, but I’m not happy.
I embrace, but I can’t trust.
I write, but the words won’t come.
I am here, but I don’t exist.
I’m tired, but there is no sleep or peace.
I continue, but I don’t know why.
I’m just sitting here surrounded by darkness, a lost child of the night.

04-09-14