Tossing Salt – Worldwide News

March 18, 2014

Doug Maynard

 

It’s that time again.  I’m Doug and it’s time to talk some wrestling.  Are you ready?  I said…. Are you ready?  No time for that chit chat today.  Let’s get to work, Tossing Salt style…

 

 

Time to play the game.  HHH is here.  No more “Yes movement!” Batista is here.  Boos.  He’s not happy with HHH.  Orton comes out. He’s not happy either. Orton asks for match against Bryan and HHH says OK.  HHH says that the “old man is right” and when HE beats Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania, HE will be in the Triple-Threat title match with Orton and Batitsa.  HHH leaves.  Orton gives Batista a RKO.  Great tag match as Cesaro and Jack Swagger defeat The Usos. WE THE PEOPLE!  Batista is shown leaving the arena.  Kane and The Shield have words again, but seem to be on the same page… or are they?  Hornswoggle is here.  Sheamus and Titus O’Neil have a match.  We see midget abuse by Titus. A Brogue-Kick by Sheamus and he collects a win.  Christian with an ambush and Shemaus is laid out. Next Week is Arnold.  A promo by Cena about how he believes in himself, but is scared of Bray Wyatt and what he represents.  Wyatt is an abused child and not exactly Mr. Positive.  A great No DQ match with Daniel Bryan over Randy Orton when Batista gets involved.  He didn’t leave after all.  Paul Heyman cuts a promo and says that Brock Lesnar will defeat death.  Goldust w/ Cody beats Fandango w/ Sumer Rae.  Looks like a mishap. Goldust is mad.  Tomorrow night on Main Event is The Undertaker. Kane comes to the ring and says that Daniel Bryan’s “Occupy RAW” movement had help from Jerry Lawler. The Shield comes down and takes Lawler to the ring. Kane threatens Lawler, but ends up with a Shield three-on-one beatdown. The Shield always does what’s best for business.  The Funkadactyls defeat AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka.  AJ is psycho and blames Tamina.  Tamina says enough is enough and it’s time for a change and shoves AJ to the mat.  We have Bellas on commentary.  Mr. T to the Hall of Fame.  Eight man action as Big Show, Dolph, Mark Henry and Big E defeat Del Rio, Ryback, Curtis Axel and Damien Sandow.  A great video package for Bray Wyatt with the sounds of Eminem playing. Bray crushes Kofi Kingston.  HHH is back and calls Daniel Bryan to the ring.  Lots of talk about respect and some subtle shots at the still “on sabbatical” CM Punk.  Steph is out and in bitch-mode.  Cops to ring for the beat-down on Bryan.  HHH calls them off and delivers a “Bow Down To The King” kick-ass beat-down of his own.  Steph and HHH set Daniel up and beat the young man like there’s no tomorrow. The Authority stands talk and declares an end to the “Yes Movement!”.  The end!  And that’s how to recap RAW in 500 words or less.  My head hurts.  I must be having…

 

 

Hardly any chants or thoughts of CM Punk this past week on RAW and Smackdown.  Have the fans finally forgotten him?  He’ll be back eventually and when he does return, how about Punk versus Bryan for the WWE World Championship at SummerSlam?

 

I keep hearing talk about a faction forming for disgruntled, ignored wrestlers in the WWE consisting of Zack Ryder, The Miz and Dolph Ziggler.  Yeah, why not?  We see how well that whole “faction” thing has worked for 3MB.

 

Actually, if this new group forms, we’ll have four three-man groups competing in the WWE with the Awesome Show-Off Woo’s, 3MB, The Shield and The Wyatt Family.  Is it time to bring back the Six-Man Tag Team Championships?  Hmmmmm.

 

Congratulations to Mickie James, who may or may not be pregnant.  Congratulations to Stacy Keibler who is pregnant.  And no matter what Maury might say, I AM NOT the father. 

 

Layla is back?  I didn’t even know she was gone.

 

I’d love to see Arn Anderson step out from backstage and become the manager / mentor for a couple of young talents in WWE.  A “manager versus manager feud” with Double-A against Zeb Colter would be lots of fun.

 

Whatever happened to Nidia?  Is she still involved in the business?  

 

Carlos Colon and Mr. T are going into the Hall of Fame.  Not sure about Carlos, due to his whole “accessory after the fact” relationship to the Bruiser Brody murder, but as a performer and for his legacy in Puerto Rico, it’s hard to say no.  Maybe we’ll get a Carlito appearance.  That would be cool. As for Mr. T, I pity the fool that don’t want him in the celebrity wing.  But where is Cyndi Lauper?

 

I would love to see Carlito and Chris Masters back in the WWE.  No advance notice or spoilers either.  Just come from the crowd, get into the ring and kick someone’s ass.  Maybe The Usos? 

 

Sting will be in New Orleans on Wrestlemania weekend. He’s appearing at WrestleCon early in the day, getting finished at 2:30pm.  I wonder what he has planned for the evening?

 

Say what?  Time for some…

 

 

Paul E. commenting on War Games: “This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound.”

 

Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: “Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!”

 

Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: “Ladies & Gentlemen, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!”

 

“Want a hot dog, McMahon?” — Jesse Ventura

 

And now, guess what?  I sense answers so it must be…

 

 

Ric Flair’s is great and I love the DX theme for Degeneration X as well, but the two best in my mind will always be the Jimi Hendrix version of the nWo theme that Hogan always used and “Boy From New York City” for Jimmy Valiant.  The song fit so well, it was almost as if it was written just for him, even though it wasn’t.

 

 

Lashley is not all that and can’t talk very well, so I’d put my money on MVP.

 

 

The gimmick itself (Chicago mobster) wasn’t so bad, but the man who portrayed Enforcer Luciano was just horrible.  He was not a good talker and couldn’t perform in the ring.  The only thing he seemed to be able to do correctly was chew lightbulbs as part of his character.  He was brought in, only worked a few matches as a bounty hunter after Blackjack Mulligan and then vanished into obscurity.  So far as just plain bad gimmicks go, Mighty Wilbur is the first name that pops into my head.

 

 

Absolutely.  Nikita was so into the character, he wouldn’t even speak english.  He was a physical monster and would have been perfect for the Drago character.  I’m not sure how well he would have done with the boxing, but he was a quick learner and athletic enough that I’m sure that wouldn’t have been too much of a problem for him.

 

 

I absolutely would have watched if this match had ever taken place.  As for who would have won, it would be Dusty, Andre, Lex and Sting because if you look back at all the War Games matches, the faces always won. 

 

 

I agree with you.  As faces, they were bland and boring. As heels, they were really great and stood out and definitely deserved their spot at the top of the card.  That being said though, the best match I ever saw Jack Brisco work as a fan favorite was in a TV match against Roddy Piper.  All Jack kept doing the entire match was put Piper in the headlock again and again and Piper sold it like crazy with his “frustration”.  Just an amazing and fun match to watch.

 

 

The biography would be of none other than the Ruler of Latveria, the one and only Victor Von Doom, aka Dr. Doom.  And the title would be simply “Doom”.

 

Moving on…

 

 “I would rather hurt a man than love a woman.” — Cactus Jack

 

“Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling.” — Rowdy Roddy Piper

 

“Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!” — Jesse Ventura

 

 

The last “Who Am I?”, which was two weeks ago because I’m slack, had a great response. Correctly answering Ed Wiskoski, aka Col. DeBeers were:  Bob McGee, Shane Briggs, Chad Burttram, Jason Vinduska, Ryan Springer, Russell Jackson, Joe Hugelman, Dennis (no last name given), Harold Schwan and Mark Chapman.  Great job, my Peeps!  Well done!  And now for the newbie…

 

I wrestled for thirty years, starting off in California and Texas, eventually moving to the Georgia area and the Carolinas, but am probably known for my attempts to start a wrestling union than my in-ring activities.  I’m also known for my mouth and promo ability, which was a running, shuck-jive style that was quickly “stolen” by guys like Dusty Rhodes.  I am also famous for my claims that I was constantly being held back by promoters due to racism and being blacklisted and even went on some talk shows to air my dirty laundry in public.  I did manage to hold several titles in my career, including my last belt, a tag team title in the Georgia territory, where my then-partner used our tag team break-up as the basis to turn heel and begin to work with his “family”, which in turn eventually led to the forming of an extremely well known faction.  My last match was on a pay-per-view in 1993 as part of a “Legends Match”.  Who Am I?

 

Think you know the answer?  Send your guess to my e-mail at Doug28352@yahoo.com or to my inbox at Facebook (www.facebook.com/saltpalace).  And now…

 

 

TNA is reportedly spending $300,000 to run the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City for three months this summer.  They allegedly can’t pay their employees on time, but are spending that much to play in the WWE’s back yard?  What are they thinking?

 

Did you catch Triple H’s shot at CM Punk last night?  I guess negotiations are not going quite so well at the moment.

 

No one can play a hateful, spiteful, you just want to smack that face biatch better than Stephanie McMahon.  Dixie Carter, take note.

 

An Eminem song on RAW?  Very nice.  When will we hear an Alice Cooper song on RAW?  That would be even better.

 

Kane and friends versus The Shield at Wrestlemania XXX?  That would be cool, but Kane doesn’t have any friends, does he?

 

Triple H versus Randy Orton versus Batista for the belt at Wrestlemania XXX. That would be cool, but they would need Flair as the guest referee to really make it right.  

 

Hornswoggle got TV time last night, but no Miz or Zack Ryder.  At least we did get to see Dolph crammed into that eight-man tag.

 

I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when Goldust and Fandango got backstage last night after their match.  Dustin was pissed!

 

JBL versus Lawler at Wrestlemania XXX.  Why the hell not?

 

And with those thoughts, I think it’s time to call it a day.  I have a fan fiction story to work on and write.  And by the way, go check out some of my stories at http://www.fanfiction.net/tsfiction19.  Stories about The Avengers, Dark Shadows, NCIS and a lot of wrestling-based stuff too.  Check it out if you get the time.  And now, I’m out of here.  Questions and comments can be sent to the e-mail listed above or to my Facebook page, also listed above.  Have a great week and I’ll see you again on Thursday when I’m back with “Wrestling Fact or Fiction”.  I’m Doug and as the great Baron Von Raschke used to say, “Dat is all de’ people need to know!”.  Take it sleazy!

 

Ubuntu!