Greetings and salutations and welcome to another edition of pro wrestling’s most eclectic column, the one and only “Tossing Salt – Worldwide News”.  Yes, I am running a few days late.  My apologies for that, but life has taken one of those crazy little turns that happen sometimes and my new job has gone from a nice little distraction to pay the bills to a time consuming beast that is trying to take over every waking moment of my existence.  It should smooth out as time goes by, but right now, things are nearly as crazy as The Iron Sheik on an alleged crack-binge.  Yeah, it’s been that bad.

 

So let’s play catch up while I’ve got a brief break from the insanity.  It’s time to put aside the responsibilities of the real world, if managing a Sweepstakes Parlor can be called that, and to jump head-first into the world of sports-entertainment, the craziness that we call professional wrestling.  In other words, let’s can the chit chat and get to work.  And we’ll start off with…

 

 

Who else has watched Slam City on the WWE Network?  I didn’t have many expectations for these short animated segments, but then my best friend told me that my best buddy and two-year old nephew, Kayden, loves them. So I had to watch and guess what?  I like them too.  I’d like to see the WWE put together a package of 3-4 episodes and work out a network deal for Saturday morning television.  It’d be a perfect fit for Saturday morning television program and would be great for the kiddies to watch in between eating their Fruit Loops and watching the Scooby Doo cartoons.  Do they still make Scooby Doo cartoons?  Anyhow, the WWE has a hit with Slam City.  It’s too short to be offensive, too cute to be annoying and just good fun for wrestling fans of all ages.

 

I’m not quite as thrilled so far with the WWE Legends House show on the WWE Network.  We’re only two episodes into the season and the potential is there, but so far, it’s been kind of… boring.  I’m hoping things will pick up as time goes on, but who knows?  I think part of the problem is eight old retired performers.  Of the entire group, only “The Fink” works a regular schedule and job.  The rest are either retired or semi-retired and are a bit, shall we say lacking, in the energy and enthusiasm department.  Tony Atlas is a trip, but the majority of the cast is depressingly normal and a little too real.  Maybe if they add a few younger “superstars” and maybe mix it up with some Divas as well in the upcoming seasons, it’ll get better.  Right now, things are not quite there. Not yet.

 

The WWE has silently sent out a warning to current and former talent not to appear or talk to Nancy Grace or her producers.  I don’t blame WWE at all.  Nancy Grace is just a joke that makes Jerry Springer look like Walter Cronkite by comparison.  Does anyone remember who Walter Cronkite was?  But anyhow, I’m sure that Nancy will try and make herself into the victim here, proclaiming that “the WWE is picking on her for just doing her job”, but I don’t care.  Unless it’s a one-on-one visit by “Dr. D” David Shultz to give that shrew the “John Stossel” treatment.  Nah, Dr. D is too sweet and nice a guy and has slightly mellowed over the years. How about a quick visit to Nancy DisGrace by The Iron Sheik?  That would be fun to watch.

 

I hate to admit it, but the recent Hornswoggle – Torito feud is cool.  I want to see more interaction between the two.  And Hornswoggle as the “mascot” for 3MB?  Works for me as well.

 

Word is that “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels is through with TNA and is now a free agent.  Doesn’t NXT need a new trainer?  And just on appearance alone, think about this.  Daniels as a new “Paul Heyman Guy”, teaming with Cesaro.  They all have that bald thing working for them as well. There’s a big money gimmick waiting there to be exploited. I know he’s slightly older than what the WWE is looking for in their new talent, but Daniels is good enough for a run with the big boys.  They really should give him a shot.  

 

I’ve also heard that there is some interest in the former TNA tag team, The Motor City Machine Guns (I’ve always hated that name), Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin by the WWE.  Both men are still young and have the talent necessary to make it in the WWE.  And if the WWE continues to give some focus and attention to the tag team division as they have for the past year, there’s a spot for these two former TNA standouts as well.  I’d love to see the rumors be true and the WWE bring these guys in.

 

Bring back “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters and Carlito.  

 

What’s up with all of the wrestling podcasts exploding all over the place as of late.  We’ve got Steve Austin, Chris Jericho, Jim Ross and Roddy Piper all now hosting their own shows.  It’s good listening most of the time and especially with Austin, you never really know what to expect.  Did you hear the news?  Austin supports “gay marriage”.  And he’s got Eric Bischoff coming up as a future guest.  That should be cool as well.  Jim Ross is plugging that he will soon be sitting down with former WCW Announcer Tony Schiavone.  That will be interesting to listen to considering the past heat with these two men.

 

And the best thing about all of these podcast that’s attracted attention as of late is Roddy Piper and Kevin Nash.  Piper and Nash had a great Twitter war last week over an infamous backstage incident from the old WCW days and the end result, Kevin Nash will be appearing on Piper’s podcast at a future day.  That should be an interesting sixty-plus minutes to listen to.

 

Speaking of Austin and his recent interview with Paul Heyman, they (Heyman and Austin) teased that maybe Austin would be willing to come back and wrestle against Heyman’s client, Brock Lesnar. Maybe if this was five or six years ago, I would be interested, but it’s all talk at this point.  Austin has nothing to prove and it wouldn’t be that great of a match, I don’t believe.  The hype would be great, but the match would suck.  It won’t happen.

 

But if Austin does ever decide to come back and do a match, how about Austin versus CM Punk at Wrestlemania 31?  Punk is capable of carrying Austin to a top level match and the promos would be great.  If you want to see Austin versus Punk at Wrestlemania 31, give me a hell yeah.  Or a double retirement match with Sting versus The Undertaker.  One match – one night – and both men, regardless of the match result, retire the next night on RAW.  

 

I’m talking too much so let’s move on to that Q&A part of the column…

 

 

 

Nope. Foley is a iconic figure in the world of pro wrestling and a true legend, but he’s not in the league of Hogan, Austin or The Rock.  The only other person I could see that was conspicious by his absence and would have fit in the opening segment with Austin, Rock and Hogan would be Shawn Michaels.  And since he allegedly has heat with Hogan and The Rock, that didn’t happen.  Flair would have been a possibility as well, but he’s tarnished his legacy so badly, I think he’s lost his standing as a character with the top stars of all time.  

 

 

Anything that involves Heyman and Colter sounds great to me.  I’d love to see this happen at some point.  

 

 

The first name that came to mind for me was Ric Flair, but that movie has already been made with “The Wrestler” and I don’t think we like how it seems destined to end.  I’d rather see a happy ending or at least a more positive ending. Nikita Koloff’s career and life started out well, but the career, at least as a wrestler, ended with a big fizzle.  This is a harder question than I originally anticipated.  I think I’ll go with the life and career of Blackjack Mulligan.  From the Marines to the NFL to pro wrestling and classic runs in the AWA, Mid-Atlantic, World Class, Florida and WWF regions.  Then there was the brief stay in prison, the success of the children (Barry & Kendall Windham), the success of the grandkids (Bo Dallas, Bray Wyatt), the Hall of Fame, etc.  He’s had a great career and life and is still going strong as the patriarch of the Windham family. So my answer would be Blackjack Mulligan.  He would be played by Joaquin Phoenix.  If Phoenix can pull off playing Johnny Cash as well as he did, he should be able to do Blackjack Mulligan as well.   And the name of the movie would be called “True Lies and Alibis”.  And there you go.

 

 

A match with talent like this could easily go any way and with any of these teams coming out on top.  The Freebirds would have the advantage of a third man outside the ring, as would the Midnight Express with Jim Cornette.  And The Enforcers are probably the most pure power and athletic wresting team in history.  It’s hard to make a call here, but I’m thinking it comes down to this.  Three “heel” teams and one “face” team with Ricky and Robert, the Rock & Roll Express.  Thus, Booking 101 says that the heels turn on each other and the face team, aka Ricky and Robert, sneak in and take advantage, snatching a win from the jaws of defeat.  So there you have it.  The winners would be Ricky and Robert, aka The Rock & Roll Express.

 

Ready for some words of wisdom?  It must be…

 

 

Bobby Heenan on the Rossati sisters: “The only thing they recognize is a buffet”

 

“I’m just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over.” — Scotty Anthony

 

“Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamanina and my 24″ pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?” — Hulk Hogan

 

Bobby Heenan on Frankie (Koko’s bird): “If he was in my house, he’d be in a shake ‘n’ bake bag.”

 

“Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!” — Larry Zbyszko

 

And finally, let’s go that little thing that we call…

 

 

Last week, I asked you this question…

 

I’m a former NFL star and ex-Marine who joined the ranks of professional wrestling in the late 60′s. I’ve had great success in all of the major federations as both a tag team wrestler and a singles star.  But despite all my success, the only title I never managed to get was a singles “World” Championship… However, my son did succeed where I failed and is a former World Champion.  I’m a multi-time NWA United States Champion and am famous for several of my long and bloody feuds with the likes of John Studd, Andre the Giant, Kevin Sullivan & Ric Flair.  For a while in the WWF, I was censored and the WWF would put a big “X” across the TV screen when I applied my finishing maneuver.  I also briefly hosted an interview segment.  I’m a Hall of Famer and two of my grandchildren are currently top stars for the WWE.  Who Am I?  

 

And of course, the answer was none other than the big man from Eagle Pass, Texas, the one and only Robert Windham, aka Blackjack Mulligan.  Correctly coming up with the right answer were:  Harold schwan, Lazaro M. Peralta, Kevin Haynes, Robert Buckley, Ryan Springer, Jason Vinduska, Michael Materacky, Chad Burttram and my former tag team partner, Russell Jackson.  Great job!

 

And now for the newbie…

 

I began my career in Florida in 1972 and had much success in the tag team ranks with a variety of partners. I also enjoyed some singles success as the NWA Junior Heavyweight Champion, a belt recognized in California and Florida and in New Japan, but not by the NWA as a whole. I eventually moved to Tennessee and found my niche as part of a fabulous tag team, a partnership that lasted nearly ten years until my partner decided he was more of a midnight type of guy.  I also moved on and reinvented myself as a tobacco spitting swamp man with a fondness for alligators.  I also clowned around a bit before heading back down south once more where I teamed with my former partner’s former partner and showed a little bad attitude.  After my in-ring career began to wind down, I opened a wrestling school in Florida and then eventually moved on to help train the NeXT generation of superstars, a role I hold today.  

 

Think you know the answer?  Please drop me a line via e-mail at Doug28352@yahoo.com and let me know your answer.  Or come visit me at Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/saltpalace and inbox your answer.  Add me as a friend while you’re there.  And I’m on Twitter at @doug28352.  

 

And I guess that’s it for now.  I still have a “Wrestling Fact or Fiction” column to write so I’ll go ahead and close this baby up and get to work on the next one.  I’m Doug and I am out of here.  Thank you for reading and I’ll catch you on the flip side.  Take it sleazy.

 

Ubuntu!