A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 5): March 5, 2016

And I know that now it is actually March 6, 2016 instead of March 5, 2016 and I’m running a day behind in my “A Dozen Days of Dougie” blog series, but I won’t tell if you won’t. If I do two blogs today, for Day 5 and Day 6, no one will ever know. Damn, I’ve watched so much political crap on the television, I’m starting to think like a politican and trying to be all sneaky and stuff. I wonder if I can get $250,000 for a speech? Hillary can!

Anyhow, I missed yesterday due to being sick as a dog and also due to having to attend a birthday celebration type deal for my sister Terri, who turned a whopping 55 years old yesterday. Happy Birthday sis! I love ya! And after we did the birthday stuff at her apartment, we came home, I got sick and went to bed. And then I worked all day today so that’s why I’m late. And that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I watched the GOP debate on Fox News on Thuirsday night. It’s sad that four men… well, three men and Donald Trump, were debating and campaigning to be the President of the United States for close to two hours and the only things I can remember standing out in this debate are: Trump talking about the size of his penis, “Little Marco”, Cruz eats a booger, Trump interrupts and Cruz tells him to calm down and breathe, Megan Kelly had two giant spiders posing as fake eyelashes, and Kasich was the only one who looked and acted like an adult. Did they even discuss policy or jobs or the economy or foreign affairs or anything like that? We are so damn doomed!!

Let’s go to the Magic Box for some topics. We’ve got “Global Warming”, “God’s Not Dead” and “Necrophilia”. Wow! What a threesome of topics. Let’s get this over with, shall we?

A Dozen Days Of Dougie (Day 5): Global Warming, God’s Not Dead & Necrophilia…

Global Warming? It’s a myth and lie used by the doom and gloom liberals (I’m talking about you, Al Gore) to scare people and help keep the sheep loyal to the progressive cause. The data provided by scientists to support this supposed major disaster waiting to happen is inconclusive and doesn’t even begin to tell the whole story. It’s a lie. It’s a myth. It’s a sham. It’s about as real as Kayne West’s claim of musical talent and about as believable as Hillary Clinton on… anything. I might be wrong and it might be real, but I don’t think so.

God’s Not Dead: It’s the name of a fantastic movie that came out a couple of years ago starring Kevin Sorbo talking about faith in God. The gist of the story is this. Sorbo plays a college professor who has lost his faith. He is challenged by a student to prove that God is real and exists. In the end, though all seems lost, the student does just that and Sorbo realizes that he was wrong. God is real and is not “dead” as Sorbo had grown to believe. My description doesn’t really do the movie justice though. It’s an excellent film and regardless of how religious you personally are, you should check it out. I really enjoyed it and think that most others would as well. It’s on Netflix right now.

And on a personal note, though I’ve never been a strong believer in organized religion and I’m not what one would call a “spiritual person”, I know that God is real and alive and all around us. He’s why we live, why we breathe, why we exist. We are allowed to make decisions to determine our lives and fates, but even in our darkest hours, he is here and with us. God’s not dead. He’s right here by our side, ready to help when we ask. All he requires is that we ask… and believe. ‘Nuff said!

And finally, we have necrophilia. How did that topic even get put into the Magic Box for consideration. And of course, it would be drawn out on the same blog I was talking about God. Oh vey! For those of you who don’t know what it is, necrophilia is the act of getting intimate with a dead body or corpse. Talk about taking the term “frigid” to the next level. That’s just plain nasty and sick. All I’m going to say about necrophilia is “Don’t Do That!”…

Unless of course, you’re with a sexy vampire. And I’m not talking about the twinkling glowstick vampires that were featured in the movie “Twilight”. Forget about them! It’s Team Jacob all the way around here. That is a sexy ass man! Hey wolf boy – call me! Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, necrophilia in itself is sick, disgusting and just plain nasty. But if you happen to encounter a vamp that looks like Spike from the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” show, or “Angel”, or those dudes from the “Vampire Diaries”… well, then maybe it isn’t quite so bad. But those are the exceptions to the rules. Sexy vampires are okay. Other corpses, just say NO!

And there you go. I’m through for now. I’ll be back later today with Day 6 of this epic blog series. I’m Doug and dat’ is all de’ people need to know!

Ubuntu!