WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 Thoughts and Predictions
February 11, 2017
Doug Maynard

Coming up on Sunday night, exclusively on the WWE Network, or so they say, is the WWE Elimination Chamber 2017 pay-per-view. Seven matches, thus far, have been announced. And you know what that means, right? It means that you just made the list! Oops! My bad! That’s something else entirely that I need to save for when I do the RAW pay-per-view prediction columns. In this particular case, it means I put on my Gary Spivey wig, my Sister Cleo robes and channel my inner Jeanne Dixon as I attempt to impersonate THe Amazing Criswell. (How many of those references did you get?) Break out the crystal ball because it’s prediction time. Let’s do this…

Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship…
John Cena (c) vs. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin vs. Bray Wyatt

I do not want to, nor do I expect to see John Cena go into Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion. He’s the “golden boy” of WWE so there is always that possibility, but I don’t want to see it so let’s eliminate Cena right off the bat. Ambrose had his shot as the WWE Champion and let’s be honest about it. He sucked! I don’t see WWE repeating that mistake, especially this close to their biggest event of the year so he’s eliminated. Miz, I think, will be having other plans at the big show with a certain retired General Manager who is way too positive (YES! YES! YES!) so that should eliminate him from the victory. I keep hearing that Bray Wyatt is the favorite and while I’d love to see him defending that title at Wrestlemania, I think that dealing with lost souls and family issues will take priority for the Eater of Worlds. So that leaves Baron Corbin and AJ Styles. Baron is good and would make a good opponent for Undertaker or Kane or many others on the roster, but I don’t see him as WWE Champion just yet. That leaves AJ Styles as the victor and the man going to Wrestlemania as the WWE Champion. And you know what? That suits me just fine…

Winner and NEW WWE Champion: AJ Styles

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

Natayla should win this and be a part of the top of the Women’s division, wrestling against Mickie James, Becky Lynch, etc and for the championship. She deserves it and would make a great Smackdown Women’s Champion. Nikki is… well, she’s tough and better than most give her credit for, but let’s be serious. She’s no Charlotte or Mickie or Sasha or Natayla. She tries and works hard, but the twin thing and the reality TV thing and her relationship with John Cena keeps her at the top far more than her wrestling ability or promo skills ever will. From what I’ve heard, she’s having a few medical issues and may end up being forced to retire sometime down the road, maybe even after Wrestlemania is finished. I wish her the best always, but this match should belong to Natayla. And I’m calling it for her right now.

Winner: Natayla

Tag Team Turmoil Match – WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship…
American Alpha (Chad Gable and Jason Jordan) (c) vs. Heath Slater and Rhyno (Heath Slater and Rhyno) vs. Breezango (Fandango and Tyler Breeze) vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) vs. The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor) vs. The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch)

It seems to me that ever since American Alpha won the titles, the Smackdown tag team division seems to be the forgotten red headed stepchild of the WWE. The teams and talents are definitely here and with all of these names in play, Smackdown Live could really be on fire each and every Tuesday night with some great tag team matches. WWE is dropping the ball big time. The Ascension got a big win for their team in the twelve man match on this past Tuesday night and could be considered the dark horse team to win it all. If they’re booked in WWE like they were in NXT, they could really be over and be huge. But I don’t think it’s going to happen. The Vaudevillains are amazing too, but it seems as if they’ve got too much heat backstage to do anything or get any kind of push. Slater and Rhyno are possible favorites and no one can count out the Usos. American Alpha is great, but I think the tag team scene needs another major shake-up to make things interesting again. Usos versus American Alpha at Wrestlemania would be awesome, but I’m going for a shocker and a major upset. Aiden English and Simon Gotch, the Vaudevillains, steal the win at the end and capture the gold.

Winners and NEW WWE Smackdown Tag Team Champions: Simon Gotch & Aiden English – The Vaudevillains

WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship Match…
Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Naomi

While Naomi is athletic and talented in that ring and has come a long way since her days as a Funkasaurus, I just can’t see her at this point as the Smackdown Women’s Champion. If she would happen to win the title, it would be one of those short reigns that lasts only until the next TV taping. I expect that she’ll give Alexa a good match and it will be entertaining and all that, but when that final bell sounds, the Harley Quinn fashion rip-off will maintain her hold on to that title belt. She’ll take a beating and Naomi will prove she’s not one to overlook or take for granted, but Alexa retains the title.

Winner and STILL WWE Smackdown Women’s Champion: Alexa Bliss

Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

Becky is the favorite, but Mickie just came back and has a point to make. And damn, she’s hotter than ever. And I’m gay and still saying that. This should be another really good match and Becky will dominate most of it and get her moves in, but at the end of the night, Mickie will be the one taking that trip to the pay window.

Winner: Mickie James

Two On One Handicap Match
Apollo Crews and Kalisto vs. Dolph Ziggler

This match, I don’t really get. I know that Dolph said that he could beat both men at the same time, but it’s two faces taking on a heel. If Dolph wins, he’s a bad-ass and makes the faces look like wimps, but he’s a heel. He’s not supposed to be able to do that and it only hurts Crews and Kalisto, a man who was fighting Baron Corbin only a couple of months ago. And if Crews and Kalisto win, so what? It’s two on one so they’re supposed to win. This match doesn’t really help anyone and wasn’t really thought out well in my opinion. This will probably end up on the Kickoff show and just as well because no one really cares about any of these guys right now. Dolph wins.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Luke Harper vs. Randy Orton

This is the last Smackdown pay-per-view before Wrestlemania and since Randy is the winner of the Royal Rumble and will be facing the WWE Champion, whoever it may be (AJ Styles) at Wrestlemania, there is no way he’s taking a loss here, right? Well, one wouldn’t think so anyhow, but just imagine if Luke Harper beats him here, but then Randy goes on to win at Wrestlemania and capture the WWE title. Harper is immediately the number one contender and ready to step up and challenge The Viper. Bray Wyatt will be there too and his presence has to be taken into consideration. I think there’s a slight chance of an Erick Rowan return, but that most likely will wait until either at or after Wrestlemania. A loss won’t hurt Randy and Harper is ready to move to the next level and a feud with his mentor, Bray, will do just that. So look for Luke to capture a win and then Bray to lay him out afterwards because… why not?

Winner: Luke Harper

Curt Hawkins vs. Mojo Rawley

Ever since his return to the WWE a few months ago, Curt Hawkins has been wasted and just an afterthought to the highest degree. Mojo is the new beastly flavor of the month and the man has charisma and that special mojo-magic. What I’d love to see happen is have Hawkins approach Mojo and offer himself as Mojo’s new tag team partner since Mojo’s current partner, Zack Ryder is out of action with an injury. Hawkins could play up on the history he and Ryder have together as the “Edgeheads” and try to convince Mojo that he’s the solution to the problem that Mojo may not even realize he has. They could team and then, when Zack comes back, we could see a rivalry between the former “Major Brothers” with poor Mojo caught in the middle. But that’s just an idea for the future to keep both Hawkins and Mojo in a program until Zack comes back. As for this match, Mojo wins. No questions asked or excuses made. It’s Mojo time!

Winner: Mojo Rawley

And there you go. Thanks for reading. Thoughts and comments welcome.

Ubuntu!