As the late, great Blackjack Mulligan would say, “Go get Mama from the kitchen. Go get Granny from the rocking chair and get gather up all the kids cause I’m only going to say this one time and it’s something everyone needs to hear.” I have something to say. And… are you ready? I said… ARE YOU READY? Just like that rash that popped up after the night in Tijuana, Mexico or that psycho ex-girlfriend who you thought had finally realized that you’re not together anymore, it’s back. And the world will never, ever be the same again.

And what exactly is the “it” that I’m talking about? I haven’t done this since 2013, but it’s time for a brand spanking new (and who doesn’t like a good spanking?) edition of the infamous blog series, “Thirty Days Of Dougie!”. And now, for all of you newbies or those who may have forgotten, I’ll explain just exactly what “Thirty Days of Dougie!” is all about.

I like to write. I think that’s pretty obvious to anyone who knows me even the slightest bit. But as of late, I’ve gotten a big slack. Ok, I’ve gotten majorly sorry as hell when it comes to writing. I used to write wresting columns, parodies, short stories, political commentary, etc all of the time. My blogsite, tossingsalt.wordpress.com, is full of things going back many, many years. But even the best of intentions and ideas sometimes don’t quite make it and that has happened far too often recently. I’ve gotten lazy and unfocused and my attention span is now like that of our current President. And yes, he IS our President, like it or not. Mine and yours too. If you’re a citizen of the United States, he is YOUR President so suck it up, sit back and enjoy the ride. He wasn’t my first choice or even my 10th or 12th choice, but he’s still better than Hillary. Of course, so is a bag of dog feces covered in maggots. Oops! Forgive the political commentary. I do that sometimes. Now what was I saying?

Oh yeah, I was explaining just exactly what the whole “Thirty Days” deal is all about. For the next thirty days, I will write every single day. I will post something every single day. I will be great again. Okay, maybe not great, but I’m going to give it my best damn effort. “But what if your mind is a blank?”, you ask. “What will you write about then?” Well, my mind is quite often a blank. After over thirty-five glorious years of working with the public and providing customer service to the masses, any sanity or mental stability I ever had vanished years ago. People suck! But I’ve got it covered. On my desk, I have a box. It was originally a container that held a bottle of 18-year old Glenlivet Single Malt Scotch Whiskey, which is some nasty stuff by the way. Scotch is an acquired taste, but it’s one that I’ve never acquired. Give me some Jack Daniels or some Fireball anytime. But the container is cool and since my current occupation is working in a liquor store, I have access to many of these containers. And so I have one on my desk. And from here on in, it shall be known as the infamous “Magic Box” because what it contains are stimulants to the mind and creative process that can only be described as magical. Inside the “Magic Box” are small scraps of paper. And on each piece of paper is a word or a series of words. There are well over 600 little scraps of paper in this box. And when I can’t decide what to write about, I’ll reach into the box, draw out two or three of these little prompts, and that’s the agenda / topic for the day.

Damn, I’m getting long winded here and taking far too long, with too many words, to say what’s going on. Let’s simplify this. I’m gonna pick topics from the box, lots of random stuff, and write about it for the next thirty days. And there you go….

So, long story short, check your timeline for the next month because each and every day, there will be some Dougie magic taking place. It might be interesting and exciting and fun to read. It might suck big time. It might be about the world’s greatest sport, pro wrestling. It might be a stupid little survey from the MySpace days. It might be a rant about boogers or birds or mailboxes. I have no idea what the topics will be until I draw them from the box and start writing each day and that’s the fun part of it. It’s a writing exercise for me and a journey we’ll take together. So buckle up, my little snowflakes because it starts bright and early tomorrow (Monday) and it’s going to be one helluva ride.

And I guess that’s it for today. Thank you for reading all of this and I’m looking forward to writing for you and hopefully entertaining you for the next month. It’s back. Don’t call it a comeback. It’s just “Thirty Days of Dougie!”. Have a great day… if you can.

Ubuntu!