I’ve been watching a lot of “Married With Children” over at the YouTube and I think it’s time for a new series and remake of that classic television show. I know that Christina Applegate, Katey Sagal and Ed O’Neil are all busy folks with their own shows and careers, but their roles could be limited to cameos and the occasional appearance and it would still work. Here’s what I’m thinking. Have Bud and his new wife, whoever she may be, move back into the Bundy household after experiencing success and then having it yanked away from him, in typical Bundy fashion. Peggy and Al have finally moved away to live with Peggy’s family, the only thing that can make Al’s life worse than it already is and thus, that leaves the house free for Bud & his family. Have Kelly be a rich and successful model or business person who can drop by for the occasional visit. And bring back Marcy & Jefferson as the neighbors. And if the original writers and producers are available, bring them aboard and there you go. I want to see it happen. Come on Fox… do it for me. For all of the fans of Married With Children. Just do it!

RIP Alan Colmes, 1950 – 1917. You will be missed, Sir…

At my current job, which by the way, I do enjoy greatly, we get one weekend off a month. This is my weekend. I’m bored! I’d rather be at work. Yes, I said it! I really do need a life.

I cooked earlier today. I boiled eight boneless, skinless chicken thighs until they were cooked thoroughly and falling apart. Then I set the chicken aside while I cooked a box of noodles, adding a can of chicken broth to the water that I boiled the noodles in. After the noodles were cooked, I mixed in the chicken, two smoked sausages cut into thin slices, a can of mixed vegetables, a can of Cream of Mushroom soup and two cans of Cream of Chicken soup. After mixing it all together, I let it simmer for a few minutes. It looks good and tastes great too. I only tried a little bit because Ma brought me home a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger and onion rings from Burger King. She had coupons. So I ate my burger and I’ll be eating my chicken noodle / veggie mix tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it. It should be good. And if anyone wants any, just swing by the house and I’ll hook you up… cause that’s what I do.

Being single sucks! I need a good man to share my life with. Any volunteers?

My “Top Six” singers / bands from the world of music are Alice Cooper, Waylon Jennings, Soce the Elemental Wizard, Rickie Lee Jones, Sublime and the man himself, Frank Sinatra. My “Second Six”, who can pretty much do no wrong, are Aerosmith, David Allen Coe, Betty Wright, Jessi Colter, Hank Williams Jr. and Casey Abrams. These men and woman are awesome. ‘Nuff said!

Is the AWA up on “The Network” yet? I remember when I used to cover and do recaps for the AWA shows on ESPN Classics a few years ago for PWInsider.com. The matches were lame and compared to the the NWA / WCW and WWF at the time, the production values sucked ass. But there was still a magic and charm there and I really did enjoy doing those recaps. I wish I still had the time and patience to do stuff like that again. But I don’t. Damn!

And I think I’ve rambled enough about different things. I should at least pick one topic out of the Magic Bix to make this official as a part of the “Thirty Days of Dougie!” series. So for today, it will be “Ramblings”, which is the part you’ve already read and the other topic will be (drum roll please)… Stretchy Pants. Okay then. Yes, I know this had been pretty lame so far and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Oh vey! I guess I should do my official “Title” thingy, right?

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 6): Ramblings and Stretchy Pants…
February 25, 2017

I already did my rambling bit earlier so now let’s move on to “Stretchy Pants!”. Why is it that 99% of the time, the women that you see in public wearing the skin tight, extremely thin, often bright colored and well decorated stretchy-pants are generally the last people that need to be wearing those kind of clothes? If a person has a great bod or a great butt and actually look good, then go for it. Less is more and show us what you got. Express yourself. Yay!

But if you stand about 5′ 2″ tall and weigh in the area of 250lbs, all of it stomach, ass and boobs, three words for you. “Don’t Do Dat!” It’s not attractive and not sexy and is actually kind of creepy, at least to me. I know I shouldn’t judge and I try not to, but have a little self-respect. At least look in the mirror before you head out into public and to the club looking like a reject from Spandex R’ Us! And that applies to the guys too. I haven’t seen many wearing the stretchy pants, but there have been a few. Leave something to the imagination. When we can determine your religion by the outline in your pants, it’s too damn tight! And the rent is too high too, but that’s a story for another day.

I remember a woman coming into my job one night. It was on a weekend and she was obviously going out to the club to have fun and party hard. She was one of those I spoke of earlier who shouldn’t be wearing clothes that show off every curve because damn it, that was a whole lot of curving going on. She was NOT tiny and petite. Not even close. And she was wearing these extremely tight stretchy-pants that said, “I’m The Realest!” I have to let my inner-gay out here for a moment because I might not be the most fashionable person in the world, but if you have to advertise on your ass that you’re “the realest”, I’ve got news for you sister. You’re not! And then add to this that boob and belly are hanging out and flashing out everywhere. Just stop… please! I said it earlier and it bears repeating… “DON’T DO DAT!”. If you have the killer bod and can pull it off, then dress to impress and show that stuff. But look in the mirror first and if there’s the slightest bit of hesitation or doubt, go change. Stretchy pants are for gym class and aerobics. Real clothes are for everything yes. So put on some real pants and behave. I don’t want to have to say it again.

And with that, I’m closing this bad mama-jama up. I hear Netflix calling my name. I started watching the series, “Santa Clarita Diet” last night and so far, I’m liking it. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back tomorrow for Day 7. I’m Doug and I approve this message. Love ya – mean it!

Ubuntu!