I just figured out earlier today who Enzo Amore reminds me of. Kevin “K-Fed” Federline from his brief time in the WWE back in the late nighties when he was almost relevant. Except for one thing.. K-Fed was entertaining. Enzo though? How you doing?

I answered a question on Facebook earlier today. A meme asked me to “name a horror movie that scared you the first time you watched it.” And my answer? It was Bambi… He danced around with a hyper-active rabbit, talked sweet nothings with a skunk named Flower and then his Mama was blown away by a crazed hunter, plus his father was a dead beat dad when it come to helping to raise him. The horror of it all traumatized me forever. My mind hasn’t been right since.

I keep seeing things on Facebook about boycotting the Oscars. How can I boycott something I never watch anyhow? When Kevin Smith is up for an award, I may reconsider, but for now… BLEH! “Airplane” never won an Oscar and neither did any of the “Police Academy” movies. Hell, “Cannonball Run” was never even nominated so what do those Hollyweird freaks know anyhow? Just saying…

Oh, were they tonight (Sunday night)? And I missed them? Ooops! Boycott successful.

Eli Lieb and Steve Grand have an amazing song together on YouTube called “Look Away!”. The way their voices blend together is just incredible. Check it out if you get the chance.

Let’s go get the Magic Box and decide what the topics for today, Day 8, will be. I’m in a good mood tonight so I’m going to draw four topics from the box. We have “laughable”, “Nipsey Russell”, “Favorite Bug” and “Top Ten Announcers”. A weird assortment, but I can do all of these fairly easy. So are you ready? I said… Are you…?” Never mind. Let’s just do this…

Thirty Days of Dougie! (Day 8): Nipsey Russell, Laughable, Favorite Bugs and Top Ten Announcers…
February 27, 2017

I just realized something. Today is the first day in quite a while that I haven’t spoken to my BFF at all. Not even a text message. No wonder I feel so empty and incomplete inside. It’s just not right. I need to rectify that… soon.

Update: He texted me. I texted back. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. And all is good with the world once more.

Now on with the show.

Nipsey Russell was a comic and actor from the 50’s through the 70’s, known for his appearances on game shows, a role on the series “Car 54, Where Are You” as Sgt. Anderson, and spots on the Dean Martin roasts and assorted variety specials. He also made several “party albums” and played the Scarecrow in the movie, “The Wiz!” And he did short little limericks and poems. Lots and lots of poems. I remember the man so vividly from the days of my childhood. He was just a good, good egg from what I can tell. Here is a vintage Nipsey piece.

What is the secret of eternal youth?
The answer is easily told;
All you gotta do if you wanna look young
Is hang out with people who are old.

And one more…

The young people are very different today;
And there’s one sure way to know;
Kids used to ask where they came from;
Now they’ll tell you where you can go!

A true American icon to be sure. RIP Nipsey Russell, 1918 – 2005…

Laughable. I was going to talk about things and situations that are so crazy and stupid and messed up, that the irony is laughable. But after writing about Nipsey, I’m just going to make a short list of people that make me laugh, every time, without fail, thus they are “laughable!”

Joan Rivers, George Carlin, Steven Wright, Beth Donahue Weedman, Jay Hickman, K-Mak. Don’t know who these people are? Look them up. Most are comedians. K-Mak is my brother and BFF. They’re awesome and funny and will make you pee yourself. And who doesn’t like that? Really?

Favorite Bugs? I like the 1972 Volkswagen Convertible. It’s my dream car and I want one. Oh wait, wrong kind of bug. My bad! I’m not a big bug person. To be honest, they kind of creep me out and make me want to scream like a little girl seeing her first penis in the public bathroom because of screwed up laws passed by the liberal snowflakes in local government. Or like someone who has sat through an entire Kayne West concert and listened to him sing without the assistance of auto-tune. But if I have to pick one, and I’m assuming that since the topic was “favorite bug”, that I should, I’ll go with a cricket. No, how about a lady bug? Nah, that’s not it either. I’ll pick an ant. And yes Regis, that’s my final answer. Unless it’s Aunt Esther. And then, watch it sucker! I loved Sanford and Son. Aunt Esther, aka Lawanda Page, was the best. Add her to my list of laughable’s cause she could always make me laugh.

And finally, we have Top Ten Announcers. Are we talking about wrestling announcers, game show announcers, sports announcers or what? How about all of the above. It’s just a list after all. So…

Dougie’s Top Ten Announcers

10. Howard Finkel (WWE)
9. Ed McMahon (The Tonight Show)
8. Ivory (WWF Experience)
7. Lilian Garcia (WWE)
6. Don Pardo (Saturday Night Live)
5. Johnny Olsen (The Price Is Right)
4. Tony Schiavone (WCW)
3. Rich Landrum (World Wide Wrestling, JCP)
2. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (WWF, WCW)
1. Bob Caudle (Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling)

And there you go. And that’s it for another day. Happy Monday Peeps (if there is such a thing!) I love ya and mean it. I’ll see you tomorrow with Day 9. I’m Doug and “dat’ is all de’ people need to know!” Thanks for reading.