Short and Fast (Just Like My Ex) Survey…

Have you ever had a secret crush?
Of course. Who hasn’t had strange and weird feelings for that one person who you know is out of your league, or married, or just isn’t possible for whatever reason. So you talk, you’re friendly, you wish it was different, but make the best of it and just fantasize instead.

Do you love someone right now?
I love many people right now. My family, my friends, my BFF, my cat, etc. But am I “in love” with anyone at the moment? Unfortunately no. I hate this being single crap! 😦

Have you ever cheated?
On what? A test? My taxes? In a relationship? It’s possible, but I’ll take the 5th instead.

Would you kiss the last person you met?
The last person I met… probably not. She seemed nice enough, but I don’t think I’m her type and SHE’s not mine.

Would you stay home all day and listen to music?
Absolutely. There is nothing better than breaking out the vinyl and turning that stereo way up, as loud as it will go, and just jamming out. By the way, albums and vinyl was what was used back when music was actually good and not all of this auto-tune garbage we have to listen to today.

Would you stay home all day and watch movies?
If I didn’t have anything else to do and it was a particularly good movie or movies, then of course. I have a dream to sit here one day and watch all of the Police Academy movies, 1 – 7, in a row.

Have you ever committed a crime?
Again, I will plead the 5th on this one. I’m not sure when the statue of limitations is over, but I’m sure that if anything did happen, I was framed. Really!

Have you ever kissed a pole?
Yes, but the pole wanted it… the slut!

Do you want to die right now?
No, I want to at least wait until I finish this survey and delete my browser history. I also have to go visit my BFF and his daddy tonight. I made a pinky-promise.

Would you flirt with someone after kissing your bf/gf?
Probably not, unless they’re really, really cute. But enough about your boyfriend. Tell him to quit calling me. Use the text instead.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in a certain click that happens sometimes, where you just know that this person is special and will be important in your life. Is it love? Or is it just lust? That’s the hard part that has to be discovered.

Do you believe in a happy ending?
Happy endings are for fairy tales and Disney movies. Real life doesn’t always work out that way unfortunately.

Do you believe in fairytales?
Most of them, not at all, but I do think that somewhere, there’s a witch who has a house made of cookies that likes to prey on little children and lure them into her oven. Her name is Hillary.

And that’s all folks. Later…

Ubuntu!