Tossing Salt Presents: Music Fact or Fiction
April 30, 2017

And here we are, back again and it’s time to step out of my comfort zone and the great sounds of Waylon, Alice and Sinatra, to listen to the crapola that passes as music. Yes, I’m looking at you, rap stars and stupid idiots such as Kayne, Beiber and Snoopy. It’s “Music Fact or Fiction” and as per the usual, the statements I’m commenting come from the lovely folks at 411mania.com/music. If it’s “Fact”, I agree. If it’s “Fiction”, I don’t agree. And if I don’t know, I’ll simply throw out some random comparisons and B.S. and try to bluff my way through. Let’s do this…

1. You enjoyed David Hasselhoff’s song for the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 soundtrack.

FICTION: It’s cheezy as hell and while normally, that would be a good thing in my eyes, this crap just doesn’t cut it. Is it supposed to be disco? It is supposed to be rap? It’s a mixture of both with lots and lots of “The Hoff”. I must be getting old because back in the day, I probably would have enjoyed this, but I don’t. I’m looking forward to watching the new Guardians movie. Mantis, one of the new Guardians, is a big time favorite character of mine and I’ve used her in many, many of my fan fic stories as part of my fictional “Avenging Shadows” universe. Go check those stories out at http://www.fanfiction.net. My writing name there is TSFiction19. What does that “TS” stand for? Heh! Heh! But so far as this goes, that song sucks ass. ‘Nuff said!

2. Prince’s unreleased songs should be available to the public.

FICTION: If Prince had wanted them to be released, then he would have released them. It’s that simple. Maybe the Estate of Prince will eventually go through the material and release some of it at some point and that’s cool if it happens, but that’s up to them. To release any subpar material or non-finished material would just tarnish the legacy of Prince and nobody wants that.
3. It’s good that Ivan Moody is sticking around with Five Finger Death Punch.

FACT: Who the hell is Ivan Moody? He’s the frontman and lead singer, so obviously, it’s good if he’s staying with the band. Most lead singers, when they go “solo”, might have a hit or two and then fade into oblivion. Most bands, when they lose a lead singer, struggle and have a hard time getting that chemistry right when a new face takes over on the mic. The band is staying together. Good for them. Now, who are they again?

4. 2 Chainz’ “It’s A Vibe” doesn’t stand out from the rest of his work.

FACT: I went and listened and wasted a few minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. 2 Chainz is nothing special in my eyes. Just another bad rapper with meaningless lyrics and lots of sexual innuendo that isn’t nearly as clever as he thinks it is. Some rappers are good – and I can’t believe I’m saying that, but I’m trying to be fair. Tupac was great. Eminem is great. Dre is great. Soce the elemental wizard is great. 2 Chainz… not so much!

5. Gorillaz’ new song “The Apprentice” is another solid track from them.

FACT: It’s okay and solid. No complaints. Not really my kind of music, but I listened and it didn’t totally suck balls so that’s a positive, right?

6. It’s exciting news that Snoop Dogg will release a new album next month.

FICTION: Who cares about Snoop and since when has his music been relevant as of late? He smokes pot and hangs out with Martha Stewart. That’s his schtick these days and how he stays significant. It was more exciting for me when Barry Manilow, to the surprise of absolutely no one, came out of the closet and admitted he was gay. Now, if only Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Justin Beiber will follow his example. As for Snoopy Dogg Dogg, my favorite characters from the Peanuts gang were Charlie Brown, Lucy and Woodstock. Snoop Dog, aka Snoop Lion aka Snoop Loser… eh!

And that’s all for now. Time to go jam to some “real music”, like Waylon, Alice, Sublime, Sinatra and Rickie Lee, artists that actually have talent and sing, write songs, play instruments and put on good shows. Maybe some Puddles Pity Party too. We’ll see. Thanks for reading. I’m down and I’m gone. Have a great one.

Ubuntu!