Tossing Salt Presents: Wrestling Q&A
May 9, 2017

As most are aware, wrestling is my passion. I used to have several bad habits, but life, time, age, wisdom and lack of money have forced me to give up a great deal of them. But three things remain strong. My love of comics, my love for writing, and my love for the “King of Sports”, professional wrestling. Oh yeah, and my love for freaky love, but that’s a story for another day. Right now, it’s all about the ‘rasslin. Time for a little Q&A with some questions from different places that I frequently roam. The first six come from Facebook and the other two come from my Inbox, which is Doug28352@yahoo.com. If you have any questions about anything or suggestions for topics to write about or even if you just want to know about the “freaky love”, it’s all good. Contact me there or on Facebook and let me know. I’m always looking for ideas, suggestions, new friends and sexy guys, not particularly in any particular order. Now, let’s talk professional wrestling and answer these questions.

Paper Champion asked, “In their prime, who would win between Rick Steamboat and Magnum TA?”

This would have been a fascinating dream match between two men that the fans loved above all others. Both were fantastic wrestlers and while Magnum was a better talker and promo guy, Steamboat did his talking in the ring and was the ultimate baby-face for that era. He could do no wrong. As for a match between the two, Magnum worked a rougher style and was probably the more aggressive in that ring. Magnum could wrestle or brawl and wasn’t afraid to get down and dirty, as the infamous “I Quit” match with Tully Blanchard proved. Ricky was a better and more technical wrestler who mixed arm-drags and flying body-presses with chops. It’d be an interesting mix and contrast of styles to be sure. In the end, I think Steamboat was the better “wrestler” though and while Magnum would definitely take him to the limit, eventually Steamboat would have wore Magnum down and using a cradle or roll-up, would have won the match, at least in the first match. If they had a series of matches, it would eventually even up and Magnum would get his wins back, but if it was a one-off match where there had to be a winner, my money would be on Steamboat.

Travis Voletz asked, “Who was the better Garvin? Ronnie, Jimmy or Terry?”

I can’t honestly say about Terry because I’ve never seen him wrestle. Ronnie is tough as nails and as solid as they come. Jimmy was the one with the energy and charisma and the stand-out “star” of the group. It’s a tough call because both were so solid and unique in their characters, a true contrast in styles and image. I personally prefer Jimmy of the three, but I think I’m going to go with Ronnie. He wasn’t all that exciting and was never really my cup of tea, but the bottom line is that he’s a former WCW World Champion, something that neither Terry or Jimmy can say. And that trumps everything else.

Chris Black asks, “Bret Hart vs Kurt Angle in their prime. Who wins?”

If it’s a shoot fight, it’s definitely Angle, although I think Bret might give him a slight challenge for a few minutes first. As for in the ring, it’s a tough call, but I’ll go with Angle again. Bret was good, but not nearly as good as he thinks he was. And Angle, he won a gold medal in the Olympics with a broken freakin’ neck. It’s true – it’s damn true. Angle wins.

Ilan Woll asked, “How did WWE get Jeff Hardy into the U.K? I thought he was banned due to his drug issues.”

The way I understand it, he did his time and Jeff and his lawyers have worked out and completed all the requirements set down by the courts. Thus any restrictions he had upon him, like the travel to Europe, have been lifted. Besides, he works for the WWE now and if Vince McMahon wants him in Europe, do you really think any wimp-ass Government officials are going to say no? Jeff has settled his legal issues and so long as he stays out of trouble, he shouldn’t have any problems in traveling… unless it’s to Canada or Japan. Trips to those two nations is not, I think, going to happen anytime soon.

Tim Woytych inquires, “Who do you think should be the next to challenge The Beast Incarnate for the Universal Title?”

Since Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns are tied up with each other at the moment, that leaves the two of them out of the picture. Seth Rollins has a been there / done that kind of feel to it. Finn Balor is the obvious choice, but I think I’d go with Bray Wyatt. Bray was the WWE Champion until he lost the title to Randy Orton at Wrestlemania, but since then, he’s never had a rematch for the title. He had that awful “House of Horrors” match where he defeated Orton, but the title stayed with Randy. So let him have a match with Brock instead. It would be a good match between two very physical men and it would make sense for a storyline because Bray is a former WWE Champion and since the option of wrestling Randy Orton doesn’t seem to be happening, he can demand a shot at the Universal Title as compensation for not getting his contractually obligated rematch against Orton. And Brock, being the bad-ass that he is, and wanting to show that he’s the dominant “World Champion” in WWE, would agree as a way to look stronger than the WWE Champion. It’s a win – win and that’s not even mentioning the dueling promos with Bray versus Heyman on the mic. It really needs to happen.

Isaias Beltran said, “If you were to debut today, give me your theme music… I’d go either Disturbed ‘Sounds of Silence’ or Tech 9/Brotha Lynch ‘Welcome To My World’.”

Honestly, I’m not a big music guy and most of my tastes and favorites are from the 70’s and 80’s. Today’s music is just too cookie-cutter and eh for me. It all sounds great, but there is no real soul or feeling and it’s about as memorable as an ingrown toenail. I want something that is real and fresh and moves me and will still do so in ten years or twenty years from now, even after listening to it a hundred times or more. So my theme music, if I was to debut as a wrestler today, would have to be something from an earlier time and era. I honestly have no idea. When I was a kid, I used the song “Dirty White Boy” from Foreigner as my “theme music”, but that wouldn’t fit me today. Maybe an updated version and remix of “Welcome To My Nightmare” by Alice Cooper. Yeah, that would be cool.

Theresa Williams asked, “Who would your picks be for the 2018 WWE Hall of Fame class?”

Obviously, this will probably change a hundred times between now and next April, when the next WWE Hall of Fame class is inducted, but if I was the man who could call the shots and name the men and women to be inducted, my Class of 2018 would be, The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton, Dennis Condrey, Stan Lane) w/ Jim Cornette, Vader, Lisa Moretti (Ivory), “The Russian Bear” Ivan Koloff (RIP), Kane, “Magnum TA” Terry Allen, Cyndi Lauper (as the Celebrity Induction). Oh yeah, and The Undertaker. And for the “Legacy Inductees”, I’d go with the WCW Hall of Fame members who are not already members of the WWE Hall of Fame, such as Mr. Wrestling II, Lou Thesz, Ole Anderson, Gordon Solie, Angelo Poffo, Dick the Bruiser, Crusher, Eddie Graham, The Masked Assassin (Jody Hamilton) and Wahoo McDaniel.

Vince Phillips asked, “If you could bring back five former stars to the WWE, who would you pick and why?”

Five former stars from the past that I think could make a major impact in the WWE today and really be major assets to the company? My picks would be Carlito, Chris Masters, Justin Gabriel, John Morrison and Matt Morgan. So much talent and potential in that group that just wasn’t used correctly. I’d also bring back Victoria for one last run with the women, much like Mickie James is doing now and then move her to the position of a trainer for the Performance Center or maybe even as an agent working backstage. She’s incredible and deserves the opportunity.

And that’s going to do it for me. My eyes are burning and my body is hurting. I feel like I just got thrashed by a 300lb transvestite hooker named Shaniqua. Yeah, I’m feeling that rough. Time to go lay down. Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Have a great one.

Ubuntu!