A Little Elbow Grease?
July 30, 2017
DougMaynard.com

Last night, at the store, I noticed something and well, I probably shouldn’t talk about it, but what the hell. Nobody reads this blog anyhow and I found it funny. Well, I actually found it kind of disgusting and repulsive, but for some folks, repulsive and disgusting is kind of funny. Those people are weird. I love those people. Those are my people and I thank them for being weird because it means that I’m not alone. And what was I saying?

Oh yeah, at the store last night, we were busy. No big deal there because it’s Saturday night and people are going out and partying and getting their drink on and just having a good time. That’s what Saturday night is all about. Well that and fighting, at least according to Elton John. (Obscure song reference). And on the weekends and on holidays, you get a good mix of people, some dressed like they just got out of bed and others, dressed to kill, all made up and looking ready for the clubs or a wedding or something like that. The person I’m about to speak of was like that, all decked out, wearing a sun dress, displaying her killer hot and sexy body and damn, she was looking good. She was wearing just a little make-up and smiling and laughing and had it going on. On a scale of one to ten, I’d give her a definite 8. (Eight is pretty damn good since there are no tens and nine only goes to hotties who are also charming, funny and sleeping with me.) So for a woman to get an “8” from me, you know she’s smoking.

She made her purchases and came to my line and I waited on her, making small talk and ringing up her sales and then I noticed… IT! This incredible hot looking young lady standing in front of me had the nastiest elbows I have ever seen. They weren’t slightly discolored as some are, but just plain dirty, nasty and almost a different skin tone color. And my mouth just fell open and though no words came out, my mind was going, “what the hell?”.

This girl had obviously spent plenty of time fixing herself up to go out. She looked nice and smelled nice and was all glowing and stuff, but didn’t take the time to wash her damn elbows. Does she not wipe herself completely down while in the shower? Does she not look in the mirror? What the hell was she thinking? Was she even thinking? Oh vey!

I see it so often though. Women who are all dressed up and made up, but they have nasty elbows or a dirty ring around their neck. Or guys who are trying to get all hot and sexy for whatever reason and their hands are caked in dirt or grease. I get that with the guys, kind of, because a working man’s hands are going to show evidence of his labors and all the scrubbing in the world won’t remove the stains. That’s cool, but I’m talking about guys who don’t work like that, that don’t labor at all if it can be avoided and for who, washing dishes would put them down for the day. They come in wearing the clothes all tight and matching and be pimping and it looks as if they haven’t washed their hands or at least cleaned under their fingernails in a year.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

So here it is. A tip for men and women everywhere. Before you get all dressed up to go out and paint the town red, wash your elbows. Wash your necks. At least try and wash your hands and clean up under the finger nails. It’s all simple and easy stuff that can make a major difference between being a “Nine” and a “Nope”. Trust me on this. Clean is the way to go. It’s true. It’s damn true.

And nasty elbows? Don’t do deet! ‘Nuff said!

And now, I have to go out to buy cat food and run some errands. Yes, I made sure my elbows are clean… and my neck too. Have a great one and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Thanks for reading.

Ubuntu!