Surveylicious
November 7, 2017
DougMaynard.com

I haven’t done a survey thingy in quite a while and here’s one that I originally took way back on November 5, 2011. I’ve decided to delete my answers from then and do it one more time. And “Why?”, you ask? Because I want to write something for the site, but don’t have a lot of time this morning to play around with and this is quick, easy and fun, all wrapped in one package. And mainly, just because I can. Let’s do this…

Surveylicious…

What shall I call you?:

“Sir” is fine. Or Doug, Dougie, Douglas, Mr. Maynard, Boss, Daddy… anything really so long as it’s not “tubby black man servant”. Only one person can call me that.

Why are you taking this quiz?:

Because I’m bored, I’m trying to get something up on the site and because I can. Take your pick.

Promise not to get offended?:

I have a very think skin and don’t get offended easily. I’m not a liberal snowflake.

Great! Any last words?:

Let’s do this…

Personal Life

How’s life treaten’ ya?:

It’s okay. Could be better, but could be worse too.

Are you happy with your life right now?:

Not really, but it’s getting better and on the upswing so I won’t bitch and complain too much.

What could make it better, even if you are?:

A steady relationship with a good man, a more reliable car, better time management, tickets to Wrestlemania XXXIII.

Who do you live with?:

I share a house with my female parental unit… the mother-figure.

How do you feel about this?:

I hate it and would much rather live on my own, but she’s not really able to live by herself anymore and if I wasn’t here, would probably lose the house and have to have help far more often.

Do you have a history of traumatic events in your life?:

There have been a few over the years. Hell, some days, just waking up is a traumatic event.

How is school?:

No school for me. I’m an old man who works for a living.

Do you have lots of friends?:

Not really. I have a large number of acquaintances, but so far as close, real friends, not quite as many. But the ones I have are pretty damn awesome. Just saying.

How do people generally perceive you?:

A bit odd, moody, nice, loving, creative and incredibly sexy. At least that’s how I think they perceive me.

How do you generally perceive people?:

Annoying, loud, to be avoided, etc. Well, most of them anyhow.

Are you a bitter person?:

I prefer to say realistic.

Do you easily get jealous of people?:

No need.

How do you channel your anger?:

I write, I listen to music, I scream into the night like a wounded animal and I take long walks under the moon.

How well do you trust others?:

I’ve been burned so many times in the past that trust is a hard thing to give. I trust a few people, but mostly, I always wonder what’s the catch?

Your Appearance

Do you think you are attractive?:

But of course… I am a truly sexy beast.

Why or why not?:

Because I am…

What is your favorite physical feature?:

My mouth.

Why do you choose this, above all?:

Because it can do some pretty amazing things when I want it too.

What do you think of your eyes?:

I’ve got nice eyes.

Do you like the person you see in the mirror?:

He kind of creeps me out actually, but he’s a cool person, a good soul and not too bad when he wants to be.

Do you have a nice body?:

Too much belly.

Have you ever been happy with your appearance?:

Not really. I have good days where my sexiness shines through and I have bad days where I feel like a bloated pig and I just deal with it either way.

What about unhappy?:

I’m moody and depressed as much as I’m not so yeah, unhappy might fit here.

Has anyone ever called you ugly?:

Probably, but what do they know? I’m a sexy beast, right?

Do you think you’re ugly?:

See my last answer…

Were you blessed with physical qualities?:

I have pretty eyes, a pretty mouth and no gag reflex. I think I’m doing okay.

How important is appearance to you?:

Not really. Looks are just the book cover, but it’s the content inside that matters most.

What 2 major things would you change about your appearance?:

Lose weight (the belly) and less gray hair.

Why do you choose these two things?:

Because I have a belly and the gray hair shows my age.

Friends and Social Life

Let’s be vague. In general, do you like people?:

I like people, but in small doses. I need my alone / me time too.

Why or why not?:

Because people can be ass-clowns and I don’t like dealing with that.

Do you have a high or low tolerance for stupidity?:

Low and getting lower all the time…

Are you accepting of others’ beliefs?:

I try to be.

Do you think you have lots of friends?:

I have a lot of acquaintances, but true, real friends? A few, but not as many as most would assume.

What do you think of the friends you do have?:

They are awesome and the best people in all ways, shapes and forms.

Do you believe that ‘friendship is golden?:

Yeppers.

Do you have a best friend?:

I do…

How long have you known this person?:

I’m thinking about 8 years, give or take a year or two.

Are they like a brother/sister to you?:

My brother, my son (everyone thinks so anyhow), my BFF, my heterosexual life-mate and the “Jay” to my “Silent Bob”. He’s an amazing person.

Are you shy?:

Not really, but it depends on the situation.

Are you outgoing?:

I have my moments, but again, it depends on the situation.

Have you been hurt by people?:

Way too many times.

Have you ever intentionally hurt anyone, physically or emotionally?:

I’m sure I have at some points.

Why or why not?:

If I have, it was probably retribution for something that they said or did to me… or maybe I was just being an asshole. Who knows?

Sex

First off, have you ever had sex?:

Once or twice.

First time (if yes) … Why not (if no)?:

A long long time ago.

Does your religion oppose sex?:

I don’t think so.

What are your personal feelings on sex?:

I like it.

Are you straight, bisexual, or homosexual?:

Homosexual.

Are you sure?:

I think I’m pretty sure, but if any good looking guys want to come test me, send me a pic and maybe we’ll work something out so we can be sure. (I’ll rock your world!)

Have you ever experimented with the same sex?:

Every chance I get.

Did you like it (if yes) … Why not (if no)?:

Yeppers, I enjoyed it a great deal.

Do you like sex or is it not appealing to you?:

I like it.

Does it frustrate you when people talk about it?:

It’s one of my favorite topics of conversation.

Is it a subject that makes you uncomfortable?:

Nope.

The things no one likes to talk about! (Touchy questions ahead.)

Has someone close to you ever died?:

Many people.

Do you think about suicide?:

Almost every day.

Have you ever tried to commit suicide?:

Long ago when I was younger, stupid and selfish.

Do you cut?:

Nope.

Do you suffer from Clinical Depression?:

I have been diagnosed in the past with severe depression and anxiety attacks.

Do you have an STD?:

Nope.

Have you ever taken illegal drugs?:

Yep.

Why or why not?:

It was long ago and I was young, stupid and looking for thrills.

Do you smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol?:

I don’t smoke or drink currently.

Why or why not?:

Smoking tastes nasty and stinks. I don’t drink because I’d rather have a drivers license than get drunk.

Last Questions

Did this quiz make you uncomfortable?:

Nope, not at all.

Were you honest?:

Probably too honest on some of the questions.

And there you go. The End! And now, I’m down and gone. Until the next time, thanks for reading and have a great one. Take care.

Ubuntu!