Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #87
Random Twitter Q&A
May 29, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What are three words better than I love you?

Want a beer?

Why do dogs hate delivery folks?

It’s ingrained in their instincts that the mailman, the salesmen, and the delivery guys are all natural enemies and they act accordingly.

How do you feel about take-a-book-leave-a-book, mini libraries?

I think they’re cool. They wouldn’t work around her though because some dumb ass, who probably can’t read, would tear it down and steal all of the books just to show what a badass they think they are for TikTok or YouTube. Sad, but true. I think they’re cool though.

What TV network do you think has the best shows?

Either the Cartoon Network or Boom! Nothing beats cartoons 24/7.

What restaurant would you recommend to someone visiting your city for the first time?

I wouldn’t. I’d suggest going to either Fayetteville or Florence and getting some real food because, to be honest, Laurinburg has fast food garbage, but little else. This town sucks!

Is it easy for you to accept help when you need it?

Nope. I’ll handle it on my own.

The rainbow-colored chocolate sprinkles are called?

Skittle sprinkles so you can taste the rainbow. I’m kidding. That one was just for the assholes on Twitter that keep calling me a homophobe. They’re rainbow-colored sprinkles. Nothing more and nothing less.

What’s your favorite thing about President Donald J Trump?

That he truly loves our country and expects the best from everyone he’s around or associates with. The man has many flaws, but no one can doubt that he loves America and wants the U.S. to be as great as it can and should be.

Why would you attempt to fry an egg on your car?

I have no idea. I’ve seen it in commercials, but it sounds kind of stupid to me. That shit will ruin a paint job so why? I don’t get it.

Would you rather go to bed without eating dinner or not eat all day until dinner?

I often forget to eat breakfast or lunch so it’s nothing but a drink or two until dinner. That’s normal for me. But going to bed hungry? Not if I can help it.

Name a famous Queen.

The band was led by Freddie Mercury. Duh! And if another Queen is needed, how about Queenie from the movie, Fortune In Men’s Eyes”. If you’ve never seen the movie, go look it up.

What kind of impact do you want to have in this world before you die?

I just want to know that I’ve made an impact and made a few people smile for a few minutes. That’s enough for me.

What is the greatest pick-up line of all time?

Hey bro. Wanna make some money? It always works.

Do you ever buy pre-made cookie dough?
Yes or no?

Yes. Pre-made is quick and easy, just like I like it.

Where does a LeBron James statue belong?

At the bottom of the ocean, in a dumpster, or in Michael Jordon’s bathroom so he can piss on it whenever he gets the urge.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up. I’ll catch you later, gators.

Ubuntu!