Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions:
TV, Wrestling, Comics & More
June 9, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Sometimes I’ll get questions that are too good for the simple Q&As. Maybe they require more thought and insight and go far beyond the usual reply of thirty words or less. A good friend of mine, Vince Phillips, sat down and wrote these for me. He spent a lot of time coming up with these as they’re tailored more to my interests than most. I’ve known Vince for a long time and he’s often contributed to the site and worked with me on other projects. He’s a great dude so I know these will be fun. So here you go. It’s 5 Questions. Let’s do this.

The President of NBC calls you and says that Jimmy Fallon is out and they want you to put together a new version of The Tonight Show to take his place. You pick the host, the co-host, the band, and the first four guests for the show’s debut. Who would be your picks?

So we’re taking over the Tonight Show. Johnny Carson would be rolling in his grave at that concept, but what the hell? Let’s do this. For a host, you need, in my opinion, someone who is funny, appealing, quick on the draw, and a good talker. How about Brad Williams? He’s one of my current favorite comics, he’s quick-witted and funny, and he’s a midget. That’s instant history right there and with his personality, he’d be great in a role like this.

And now we need a side-kick, someone who can laugh at Brad’s jokes, add to the conversation when needed, warm up the audience, and play the straight man as needed. How about Mike “The Miz” Mizanin? He’s good on television, is entertaining, has a history and background of his own as an entertainer, and is well-known enough to bring in an interested audience. Miz, on his own, can be annoying, but as a comic foil and a straight man to Brad, he’d be perfect.

As for the band, Paul Schaffer probably isn’t available, but if he is ready to work a steady job after all of those years with Letterman, snatch him up and put that guy to work. Paul essentially set the bar for what a talk show’s music should be and why not get the best if possible? And if Paul’s not available, there’s a guy named Joshua Kadison who had a few hits in the 90s including “Jessie” and “Beautiful In My Eyes”. The guy is amazing and I’m sure would do an excellent job.

And finally, the first four guests. It’s a debut show so you want big names that attract attention, draw fans, and would be interesting and entertaining. So how about Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake, Roseanne Barr, and Alice Cooper? I know I’d watch. And admit it. Brad Williams and Miz as the leads, Joshua Kadison as the bandleader, and Depp, Justin, Roseanne, and Alice as the guests, you’d be watching too. And there you go.

Vince McMahon calls you and offers you a job in the WWE as a manager. You get to pick any three WWE superstars as your faction, plus bring in any two wrestlers who are available and not under contract anywhere else. Who would be on your team and what would your faction be called?

Let’s tackle the name first. I’d want a name that is memorable, intimidating and makes sense in a personal and historical context. That’s hard because all of the best names for factions were taken long ago. Let’s just go simple with Maynard’s Army. If it worked for Jim Cornette and Paul Jones, it can work for me too.

As for my wrestlers, three current WWE superstars, who are not part of any current faction and have a strong upside. I’d go probably with Baron Corbin, Jinder Mahal, and Chelsea Green. As for my two new additions to the WWE roster, it’d be two local guys I’ve seen wrestle often who I think have a big future ahead of them. Nathan Cross and Sammy Love. We have a team that could work in any division, are all strong performers, and could make an impact on WWE wrestling. And I could wear an army helmet and be their esteemed leader. Just call me the General. Works for me.

You win the lottery and are now a billionaire. What would you do next?

Throw one hell of a big party. Okay, I’m kidding about that. My partying days are over, Just a few of my closest friends, favorite people, and potential life mistakes for a drink or two and that’d be it. And then, after hiring a good accountant and set of Attorneys, it’s time to get busy. My top three projects would be to buy a local radio station to employ some of my more creative associates and have fun with them. I’d invest in a wrestling promotion where I could be like Tony Khan and play with my new, shiny toys as a booker and promoter. And finally, I’d build on my previous experience with Hope In Christ Ministries and work on feeding and helping the needy.

Marvel Comics calls you up and they want you to repackage two of their comics. For one, you will pick any character you want and make a comic focusing on this character. And for the other, it’s The Avengers. You’re told to establish a new Avengers team with 8 heroes. The only restrictions will be that six characters must be heroes who are or have been part of the Avengers, and the other two must be characters that have not been part of previous Avengers lineups. Who would be your solo comic project and who would be on your team of Avengers?

For my solo Marvel comic, I think that anyone who regularly reads my stuff already knows the answer. Dr. Anthony Ludgate Druid, aka Dr. Druid. He’s a poor man’s Doctor Strange, well-versed in Celtic Magic, and is known as the Master of the Unknown. He has ego problems, a snobby attitude, and self-esteem issues, but I’ve always been fascinated by this character. I’d try to build on his background, establish his skills a little more, and make him more of a factor in the Marvel Universe. He’s a great character with a lot of potential that has yet to be explored, plus he was one of Stan Lee’s first creations, even predating the Fantastic Four and Spiderman. So a Druid comic by me. Absolutely!

As for a team of Avengers, I’d probably go with the big three for my core team, that being Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man. The Wasp would be the Chairman and leader and Hawkeye & She-Hulk would round out the old-school part of the team. As for the two new Avengers, I’d go with Storm from the X-Men and Isaac Christians, aka The Gargoyle, a former member of The Defenders. While I think Storm may have briefly joined the group at some point, I went on a long break with comics after the 90s and she was never a part when I was reading regularly. As for Isaac, he’s just a great character and made a great Defender so I’d love to see him step up to the big leagues.

The same question, but with DC Comics instead. You can do one solo comic with any character you choose and the other would be to create a new Justice League, with six characters who have been part of the Justice League and two who would be new to the JLA. Who are your picks?

This one is harder because I’m not a DC Comics kind of guy. I like continuity and common sense, something that DC was never a big advocate of. I read some of the titles like The Justice League, Batman, etc., but I was more of a Marvel guy and haven’t kept up quite as well with the happenings of the DC Universe so keep that in mind.

For my solo comic, how about the adventures of Captain Cold? He was my favorite Flash villain and Wentworth Miller did a fantastic job of portraying the good Captain in the Flash TV series and on Legends of Tomorrow. He’s a villain but has a sense of honor and some hero-like tendencies so with all of that shades of gray to work with, it could make for a great comic.

As for my version of the Justice League, my favorite time was when they were stationed in Detroit, with mostly unknown, B-characters making up the roster. So playing on that, my Big Six would be The Martain Manhunter, Vixen, The Blue Beetle, Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner), and Hawkgirl. And my two rookie Leaguers, who may have been part of the team at some point after I quit reading, but I don’t remember for sure, would be The Flash (Jay Garrick) and Nightwing (Dick Grayson).

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up. I need to go fix dinner. Sloppy Joes or Chicken Nuggets & Tater Tots? I haven’t decided yet. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you next time.

Ubuntu!