Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #99
Random Twitter Q&A
June 9, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What is the greatest music video of all time?

There are so many great ones out there, but this is the first one that came to my mind. It’s David Lee Roth and yes, he’s just a Gigolo because he ain’t got nobody.

What is something overpriced that you still buy?

All of the groceries at Food Lion and Wal-Mart. Have you been shopping lately? What would have been $20 worth of groceries a year ago is now almost $50. Yes, it is that damn bad. And I’m not talking about anything fancy. Some drinks, fruit, and chicken nuggets. It’s damn insane.

Is it easy for you to sunburn?

Not for me because a sunburn would require being exposed to the sun and going out during the daylight hours. And guess what? Homie don’t play that. I don’t go out unless I don’t have any other options or I’m getting paid or booty from the deal. I don’t like sunburn so I’ll just say no.

What’s your favorite “poverty” meal that you still eat regardless of where you are financially?

Rice and homemade gravy. It was good when I didn’t have any other options and it’s good now. Ramen noodles are good too. Add an egg or two to the boiling water and it’s damn good.

What’s a new sport you picked up in adulthood that you never tried as a kid?

Have I done any sports since becoming an adult? Well, some adult sports, but hell, I was exposed to those as a kid so they probably wouldn’t count. Let’s go with doing that cornhole thing. I didn’t know what it was when I was a kid and when I first heard of it, it raised a few eyebrows and had me wondering. Now, I know what it is and it sounds interesting. It had me interested when I thought it was something else and it still sounds kind of cool.

Do you enjoy fishing? When’s the last time you’ve gone and what’s the last fish you caught?

I do enjoy fishing It’s been a while, but sitting and relaxing at the side of a fishing hole is always a good time. I’m there for the atmosphere and peace of mind. And who cares about catching fish? I’m just there to chill and drown worms.

What does love mean to you?

What’s love got to do with it? What’s love, but a secondhand emotion? Sorry, but I’m listening to Tina Turner on my computer and I couldn’t resist. Love, to me, is caring for a person more than you care for yourself and being willing to sacrifice for that other person. I can’t explain it, but I can feel it and live it.

Who’s a brave soul for speaking out?

Anyone who has dirt on the Clintons or the Bidens. Our condolences to their families for their suicides.

Do you find yourself attractive?

I know I have a belly, need to shave, and come across as a bit of a weirdo sometimes, but yes, I am a sexy beast in every way that matters. Ask your boyfriend. He knows.

What percentage of the time would you say buying something for somebody else on your account goes wrong?

I don’t buy things for other people on my account, but the few times that I have, it worked out well and went fine. If I’m buying something for someone, it’s going to be for a gift so that doesn’t leave much room for problems or issues.

What would be your dream movie to be made?

I’d have to talk with my friend, Brent, first, but I have an idea for a movie. A buddy-style comedy, situated in a bar/store, with references to wrestling, music, podcasting, and customer service. And of course, there will be a dog running down the beach with a dildo in its mouth (inside joke). It’s essentially just a thousand ideas running through my head right now, but if I can ever get focused and put all of this together, watch out Hollyweird! And if that can’t happen, an MCU movie about Dr. Druid would work too.

What’s the next movie you plan on seeing?

I don’t know. I’ll probably go to Tubi or Max in a little bit and see what’s going on and the first movie that catches my eye, it’s on.

What is the purpose of life, in your opinion?

To make things better than they were previously, to guide and teach, and to be happy. And to keep my cat and the sexy guys in the neighborhood happy. Luckily, I’m good at both of those.

Name a Store your parents would take you shopping at that is NOT around anymore.

The first that comes to mind is Super Dollar and then Jones. My Mom worked at both of these stores as a manager many years ago. Think of Roses or Dollar General and it’s the same kind of store. Both vanished many years ago.

What do you think holds people back the most from achieving their goals and dreams?

Fear and lack of support. The fear of failure, the fear of success, and having those who mean the most to you shitting on those dreams and goals and reinforcing in your mind what a waste of time or bad choice pursuing those dreams and goals are.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated, as are any jokes or good food recipes. And with that, let’s wrap it up. Take care and be good, my friends. I’ll see you at the Nudie Bar.

Ubuntu!