Tossing Salt Presents:
Would You Rather:
Tough Decisions #5
June 9, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Our world is full of decisions that need to be made. Over in the land of Tweets, a lovely lady named Samantha decided to ask a few amazing questions where a choice needs to be made. It looks pretty cool and I decided to take a chance and make a call. This or that? Let’s find out.

Would You Rather?

Would you rather have disappointing sex every night for a full year or great sex for one night?

There is no such thing as disappointing sex. Yes, bad sex does exist, but hell, it’s still sex. And great sex is rare but overrated. No matter how “great”, it’ll still be over in thirty minutes and you still have to deal with the person. And from my experience, usually, the best sex is with the worst of people. That whole “forbidden” thing, plus crazy sex & ass-clown sex just has that special mystique about it. Who needs that crap? Give me the bad sex and then they go home. At least then, I’ll have something to blog about.

Would you rather live out in the country or the city?

Out in the country, but close enough to the city to reap the benefits, but not have to be around people all the time.

Would you rather be unknown and rich or be famous and poor?

I’m already semi-famous and poor. The perils of being an internet wrestling journalist, whatever the hell that is, and having a website with my name on it. Let’s try rich and unknown for a while.

Would you rather take your vacation at an exotic resort or go camping?

Camping, unless it’s in a motel room with a pool, air conditioning, and room service, is not my thing. I like the drinking and the campfire stuff, but there are also bugs. I don’t like bugs. An exotic resort would be kind of fun to try though. Get in the jacuzzi and just stay there for a week. I could do that.

Would you rather babysit crying infant triplets for six hours or go without food and water for 24 hours?

No food or water. I’ll manage. Six babies? One, I can handle. But six? I’d end up insane, pulling my hair out, and having a total breakdown. And then we’d have seven crying babies. Oy vey!

Would you rather be the teacher at your school or the janitor?

I’d rather be the janitor. Who the hell wants to deal with all of those damn kids?

Would you rather be invisible or be able to fly?

Are we talking about full-time invisibility or being able to turn it on and off again? Flying is cool, but I don’t like heights, and around here, some dumbass would be trying to shoot me down. Give me the no-see invisibility ability. Just imagine the pranks I could pull and the stuff I could get into. That would be awesome.

Would you rather lose your ability to speak or have to say everything you are thinking?

Saying what I’m thinking would get me killed rather quickly, plus I wouldn’t have any friends left. I’ll just quit talking.

Would you rather live in space or beneath the sea?

Space has many appealing factors, but those damn alien life forms. They’d end up getting on my nerves. I love water and under the ocean seems like it would be a fantastic experience. Let’s go with being a fish man.

Would you rather have to listen to music all of the time or not be able to listen to music at all?

All the time. I can block it out when necessary, much like I do with people and talking, but a life without music? That’s not a life at all.

Would you rather live one hundred years in the future or one hundred years in the past?

I’m an old soul in many ways and I’m not big on change, plus I don’t think, at the rate we’re going, that our nation will even be here in a hundred years. With that in mind, let’s travel to the past and see what’s shaking. I think I could adapt and fit in well there.

Would you rather be the best player on a losing team or the worst player on a winning team?

Probably the worst on a losing team. No one likes to lose, right? And even if I’m the worst, I’m still one of the best by association because my team is winning. So there you go.

Would you rather have extremely small freakishly eyes or an extremely large nose?

Give me the nose. That’s what plastic surgery is for, right? I could either brush up on Jimmy Durante impressions and the nose wouldn’t matter or else save up, see a doctor, and get it chopped down to proper size. Eyes though are harder to fix and someone with beady little eyes tends to creep me out.

Would you rather have friends that are smarter than you or friends that are much better-looking than you?

I’m not that superficial so I really wouldn’t care. I have some friends that are slightly more book-smart than I am, some that are slightly more street-smart than I am, and there are a few hot and sexy beasts that I call friends that are better-looking than me. But we all complement each other in different ways, and that kind of crap doesn’t matter. Smart people mean good advice and conversation. Good-looking people give me eye candy and something to enjoy while we hang out and chill.

Would you rather give a speech to the whole school, including teachers, for 30 minutes or work in the school cafeteria for a semester?

It would depend on what the speech is about, how much time I have to prepare, and several other factors. Oh wait, I just remembered something. I don’t like crowds, public speaking, or interaction with people I don’t know. Put me in the kitchen. I can cook.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. If you have any good “Would You Rather?” questions to share, let me have them, and thank you. And with that, let’s wrap things up. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Chinese Buffet.

Ubuntu!