Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #101
Random Twitter Q&A
June 12, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What is the greatest commercial of all time?

These days, commercials are generally better than most of the actual television programs. I rarely watch TV. TV sucks. But the best commercial of all time? I’m kind of partial to Mr. Whipple. Please don’t squeeze the Charmin. Say what you will, but he was definitely a better character than those damn bears.

Would You EVER consider moving to “The Villages” in Florida?

I have no idea where that is, but if I was planning on moving, which I’m not, any place that is not California, New York, or Illinois would be an option to consider. So that would be a yes.

Which outfit would you never be tired of wearing?

A pair of shorts and a t-shirt, either with a band, a wrestler, or a sexual/sarcastic comment printed on it. I like to keep things casual.

Do you believe more women would have children if paid maternity leave was law and daycare costs were controlled?

Have a baby and get paid. That’s one of the things that our welfare system promotes and it doesn’t work well in reality for the parent or the child. Who’s paying for this maternity leave and the daycare costs? The taxpayers of course. It’s just another entitlement that we can’t afford so why not just encourage women to use birth control and wait to be parents until they’re ready and can take care of the children? Keep the legs shut and if a baby is conceived, suck it up and be a parent instead of expecting everyone else to pay you & take care of your responsibilities.

What small things do people do that make your day?

Just being friendly and polite/respectful instead of being assholes works for me.

If you could get 1 more season of a TV Show no longer airing, What would it be?

How about, on Netflix, Marvel’s The Defenders? Or any of the Marvel Series (Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Iron Fist, Daredevil, The Punisher). They were getting better and made for some good TV.

Would YOU support a 2028, Buttigieg/Ocasio-Cortez ticket, or vice-versa? Yes or No?

I’d support them to be locked up, tarred and feathers, pointed at and made fun of, and to be ridiculed in parody accounts and on late-night television. As for actually having any kind of power or political office, not a damn bit. I’m not sure who the bigger idiot of the two is and they would be, if it’s even possible than the garbage that Biden/Harris have been giving us for the past two years.

Be Honest, How many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Probably about a dozen or so most likely. I have most numbers stored on my phone and in an address book I keep for backup.

Who is your all-time favorite movie director?

Kevin Smith of course.

Two slices of bacon per egg is the proper bacon to eggs ratio correct?

Sounds good to me, but I would step it up a bit and go with three or four. What can I say? I like bacon.

Would you give up the ability to travel anywhere outside your hometown for the rest of your life for $10 million?

It’s not like I go anywhere anyhow and my entire life is essentially within a fifteen-mile radius so yeah, I can do that. Give me my money!

Who is the greatest sports announcer of all time?

Who was the guy who called the Quidditch matches at Hogwarts? Yeah, him.

What’s the Biggest News Story that happened while you were in High School?

Probably the taking of the hostages by Iran at the U.S. Embassy in Tehran, and President Carter’s ineffectual attempts to codify the Iranian terrorists and get them released. That was my first year of high school.

Which food could you never say no to?

Chinese food. If you don’t believe me, ask me out to lunch and we’ll go to Golden Run and hit that buffet table. You’ll see.

Sir Paul or Sir Elton?

I love Elton John’s music and he’s an amazing talent and performer, but Paul is a Beatle. Nothing trumps being a Beatle, so Paul it is.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the beach. I’ll be the one peeing on a jellyfish sting. Love ya, mean it.

Ubuntu!