Tossing Salt Presents:
Would You Rather:
Tough Decisions #7
June 12, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Our world is full of decisions that need to be made. Over in the land of Tweets, a lovely lady named Samantha decided to ask a few amazing questions where a choice needs to be made. It looks pretty cool and I decided to take a chance and make a call. This or that? Let’s find out.

Would you rather that no one shows up for your wedding or your funeral?

If no one showed up for my wedding, it would be very awkward. Just me, alone, standing there at the altar with no partner, no one to officiate, no guests, etc. That would be very disturbing. Let’s go with the funeral. I don’t plan on having one anyhow because my wish would be to be flash-fried and have the ashes tossed out over a lake or something like that. No funerals for me. They’re depressing and besides, to be honest, I doubt anyone would bother to show up anyhow.

Would you rather be without internet for a week, or your phone?

I despise a damn phone. Take it away, please.

Would you rather meet George Washington or the current President?

We don’t have a current President. We have a senile pedophile who was given a job as the fake figurehead for the people behind the scenes who rule our nation and control everything. So George Washington it would be.

Would you rather lose your vision or your hearing?

That’s tough either way. I’m already half blind so let’s go with the vision. I think I could adapt to that slightly better.

Would you rather work more hours per day, but fewer days or work fewer hours per day, but more days?

If I was still working full time, I’d prefer the longer hours and fewer days. I once worked at a store where I worked ten hours a day and had three days off each week. That was awesome.

Would you rather eat a small can of cat food or eat two rotten tomatoes?

I don’t like tomatoes and never have. They’re disgusting. But I love ketchup. The irony lol. Cat food isn’t much better, but I could probably handle that a little better.

Would you rather be completely bald or covered from head to toe with hair?

I don’t do bald. My head is too warped and scarred up to pull off the bald look. I’ll go for the Wookie look. Some of my favorite guys are hairy and fuzzy all over and if they can do it, so can I.

Would you rather always have to skip everywhere or run everywhere?

These days, I can’t do much of either without falling on my face. But if I was capable and had to go with one or the other, let’s do the skipping part. I’d just pretend I’m an 8-year-old girl and join the transgender movement of brain-damaged idiots.

Would you rather have hands instead of feet or feet instead of hands?

I’ve always been a handy kind of guy so let’s go with that. Hands, please.

Would you rather have a horse’s tail or a unicorn horn?

I would rock that horsetail. Since I already have one thing in common with a horse, what’s one more? What was that? What do I have in common with a horse? Ask your boyfriend. He knows. Yeah, we both like to be ridden hard.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Walmart.

Ubuntu!