Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #102
Random Twitter Q&A
June 13, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What is a controversial opinion you hold?

There are two genders, male and female. And pedophiles should be locked up or worse. And the sad thing is, by today’s standards, these are considered controversial.

What is the most shocking moment of all time?

Way back in the day at St. Andrews, after consuming a very large quality of alcohol, I went to lie down and woke up a few hours later next to a woman. Luckily, we were both fully clothed and it was a good friend who just happened to lay down next to me because it was her dorm and bed, but still, the shock of it all. Too bad it wasn’t her boyfriend at the time. That might have been fun. Woof!

If you were given any one luxury item, but couldn’t sell it, what luxury item would you want?

A forty-plus room mansion in Maine on a large estate. Yes, I want Collinwood.

Around what group of people do you feel the best energy?

My peeps at work. I work with a great group of people and the personalities, the energy, etc., just work and bring out my better self.

Who is the greatest fictional uncle of all time?

From the TV show, Bewitched, how about Uncle Arthur, as played by the late, great Paul Lynde?

What is the largest organ of the human body?

It depends on whose human body you’re talking about because I saw some posts on Twitter and those guys? Their organs were massive. But if you’re talking about the average person, I have no idea. The head maybe?

What is your favorite color?

I have three: Black, purple, and hot pink.

What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever heard of someone drinking?

I’ve seen people drink tobacco juice, pickle juice, straight-up Everclear, and hot sauce. All of those qualify as disgusting, but the worst? Urine. Yeah, it’s a fetish thing and I get that, but just the thought turns my stomach and that’s saying something.

Name a famous person in your profession or expertise you would love to be BFFs with.

Which one? The customer service and selling liquor to the masses profession or the internet-wrestling-journalist job? Let’s go with the latter and who would be a fun person to chill with? I’ve already got a BFF so that position is filled, but I think Dylan Postl, aka Hornswoggle, would be fun to hang out with for a while.

When an entity(social media, government, etc) censors someone does that make you trust/believe them all the more?

It makes me wonder why they’re afraid of alternate thoughts and opinions. Censorship is never a good thing and when someone does it, I suspect that they’re trying to hide something.

Are you a fan of Chili with beans or without beans?

I’ve got to have my beans or it’s not real chili. That’s why those beans are called chili beans. They’re to be put in the chili.

Who is the greatest fictional aunt of all time?

From the town of Mayberry, North Carolina, Aunt Bee.

Red Hot Chili Peppers or KISS?

KISS may have makeup and great special effects at their shows, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers have Flea. Peppers win.

What would be your strategy for a zombie apocalypse?

Hope for the best and expect the worst. I’d try to make it to my bro’s apartment and be ready to fight. And if that’s not possible, I’d try to blend in and hide in plain sight. When the zombies’ approach, I’d just say, “Vote Biden”, so they’d think I’m a brainless, gutless living dead moron, just like they are, and leave me alone.

Do you smoke cigarettes or did you ever smoke and for how long?

I’ve never been a regular smoker, but back in the day, when I would drink heavily, I’d smoke too. It was relaxing. And now, if I’m incredibly upset or stressed out, I may light one up. Words to live by. If you ever walk upon me and see a cigarette in my hands, but don’t see a cold beer in the other one, just remain quiet and slowly back away. It’d be the best for both of us.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up and call it a day. Stay good and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Death House.

Ubuntu!