Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #105
Random Twitter Q&A
June 15, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

If you were running for president, what would be your slogan?

“Sit down and shut the hell up. It’s time to take care of bid’ness. And that is all the people need to know!”

Would you rather run with lions or swim with sharks?

I like the lions. They’re nothing but big old puddy tats. I’ll play with the big kitty cats.

What kind of art do you like the most?

Pictures of animals and nature. And naked men. I like pictures. ‘Nuff said!

When have you had enough of your pet?

The dog? All the time. He’s a good dog, but he stays on my freaking nerves. And the cats? It’s hit or miss. I love my fur babies, but they like to be in the way, a lot. The only time I can concentrate and work is when they’ve gone to bed.

What TV show did you love but the current generation won’t have any ideas what it was?

From the early 70s, Chico & The Man. I was also a big fan of BJ and The Bear, and The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.

Favorite Guns N’ Roses song?

I’m a big fan of GNR and especially the two Use Your Illusion albums, but my favorite of all time is when they teamed up with Alice Cooper and took a trip to The Garden.

What do you think of PETA?

I think PETA started with good intentions, but as time went on and they grew in influence and power, they changed. Power corrupts and PETA went from an organization that cared for and looked out for the welfare of animals everywhere, but now they’re just another political action group that espouses liberal views and is more about power and control rather than the day-to-day business of animal rights.

Do you ever feel like you just don’t fit anywhere?

Every day when I leave my house, yes. I used to have friends, associates, etc., but was always in the middle of everything and always had something going on. And now, I have nothing. I don’t belong to any groups. I don’t hang out with anyone. I’m just alone most of the time and on my own. It’s just how it is.

According to you, what is the perfect age for marriage?

There is no “right age”. It all depends upon the person and their nature and character. Some people can get married at age 18 and it works for them. Some folks will wait until they’re 40 and that’s the right thing for them. And for some people, they’re never the right age and never have that moment.

What are you starting to dislike more as you get older?

People.

What movie made you say “What The Hell did I just watch ” after it was over?

The movie, “A Serbian Film”. I had heard how disgusting it was said to be and felt compelled to watch. I did and I’ve regretted it ever since. It was so vile, so sickening, and truly disturbing. That movie had me feeling sick to my stomach. It was fascinating, yet so disturbing and appalling.

Did you ever go to summer camp as a kid?

No, I never did. I had four older siblings and our house was far more chaotic and exciting than any summer camp could ever hope to be.

When was your last sip of alcohol?

A small shot of Butter Pecan Moonshine, roughly about 15 minutes ago.

You’re on death row and with your final meal you get to watch one last movie. What movie are you watching?

I’d have to go out in style so let’s go with The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’d be a nice final hurrah.

Which Stand-Up Comedian should be more Famous?

My boss-man at ABC, Bill. He’s not a comic, but he certainly would make a great morning radio DJ with the jokes. He’s funny and I would love to see him at a comedy club on Open Mic Night. As for a real comic, I remember a lady named Beth Donahue, who went from stand-up to radio to being a normal person with a normal life. But she was awesome and her act, back in the 90s, was incredible. I’d love to see Beth make a return to the stage. She would do so well.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap things up. Take care and be well, my friends. Stay good and I’ll see you at the K-Mart.

Ubuntu!