Tossing Salt Presents:
Would You Rather:
Tough Decisions #9
June 15, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Our world is full of decisions that need to be made. Over in the land of Tweets, a lovely lady named Samantha decided to ask a few amazing questions where a choice needs to be made. It looks pretty cool and I decided to take a chance and make a call. This or that? Let’s find out.

Would you rather have no sense of smell or smell everything around you with extra ability?

As I’ve gotten older, my senses of hearing and sight have gotten worse, but my sense of smell seems to have gotten better, and guess what? People stink! I work with the public and people come in reeking of pot, flowery perfume, cheap cologne, stale sweat, and so many other ways. I’d rather just not be able to smell at all because way too many o these people just damn stink.

Would you rather be blind for the rest of your life or mute for the rest of your life?

I like to write and being blind might make that an issue. Not talking? I can deal with that. There aren’t but a few people I like to talk to anyhow and besides, I’m already a great listener. I’d just get better. So make me mute.

Would you rather look strong and be weak or look weak and be strong?

Looks matter so let’s go with looking all strong and sexy ad driving all the men wild.

Would you rather have a third eye or a third ear?

A third eye. It works for Dr. Strange in that last movie and if the Sorcerer Supreme can do it, so can I.

Would you rather have to crawl everywhere or run everywhere?

I don’t like running, but I’m not big on the crawling thing either unless he’s really cute. I guess we’ll do the running.

Would you rather wear a cape for a month everywhere with no explanation or wear an eye patch everywhere for a month?

Let’s go with the eye patch. It would just help complete my pirate look. Aaargh!

Would you rather wash the laundry or fold and put away the laundry?

Around here, I’m the one who does both. I don’t mind really, but I do prefer washing to having to fold clothes. Those towels and bedspreads can be a bitch sometimes.

Would you rather be able to live underwater or live in outer space?

Underwater. Under the ocean would be exciting and is a beautiful place. Space? It’s cold and a whole lot of nothing except for aliens. That’s why we need to build a wall.

Would you rather have the power to end war in the world or the power to end poverty?

End poverty, because ending poverty would save more lives than ending war and would also eliminate a large number of reasons that we even have wars.

Would you rather be able to sleep as late as you wish or be able to stay up as late as you like?

Those two kind of go together and I pretty much already do both, sleeping when I want and staying up as late as I want. I think I like staying up more though.

Would you rather have a dinosaur as a pet or a unicorn?

Dinosaurs are too big and would be hard to take care of. I think I’ll go with the Unicorn. It can’t be much different than a horse, right?

Would you rather have a submarine or a space shuttle?

I’ll take the submarine. I’d rather explore under the ocean than space.

Would you rather be able to fly everywhere you want or be invisible?

I don’t like heights so I’ll go with the invisibility. I can think of many pranks where that would be beneficial.

Would you rather stay up all night helping an irritating family member with a problem or babysit a baby that will not stop crying?

I’ll do either if necessary. I’m a nice guy. This is a tough call though. I’d probably help the family member.

Would you rather be able to dress in designer clothes or buy everything you want at a discount store?

I already buy everything I want from Walmart or online and I’m perfectly satisfied in continuing to do so. I don’t give a damn about fancy names or designer clothing. So long as it fits well, is comfortable, and covers my fat ass, I’m good.

Would you rather get everything you want materially or find your true love?

I think my true love got hit by a bus about fifteen or so years ago and died. But if he’s out there, I’d sure as hell love to meet him. Let’s go with the love thing. I’m feeling lonely tonight.

Would you rather date someone who is 10 years older or someone 10 years younger?

Ten years younger. I’m old enough already and someone ten years older than me, I’d have to keep breaking out of the home. But a younger man, be it ten, twenty, or even thirty years younger? I’d rock his world!

Would you rather have an arranged marriage or spend the rest of your life single?

Honestly, at this point, I’d go for the arranged marriage. Trying to find my partner hasn’t worked out very well and time is running out. I’m old, fat, and lonely. Someone hook me up with your father, brother, cousin, son, etc. I’m a good dude and I’ll make them happy and treat them right.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s close up shop for the day. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Karaoke Bar.

Ubuntu!