Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #114
Random Twitter Q&A
June 28, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Have you ever dealt with addiction? What’s the worst drug?

So far as being personally addicted, I’ve been fortunate. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with alcohol for a long time, but it’s never controlled me and is more of an annoying old friend who gets on the nerves, but you still enjoy their company more than anything else. But I’ve dealt with it many times with family members, friends, and other people in my life. I’ve seen good people do bad things and families and lives destroyed. It’s not a life I’d wish on anyone. And the worst? It depends on the person addicted and their demons, but to me, it’d be Fetanyl. That shit kills and I’ve lost way too many people I love due to that poison.

Can you clean fish and mow the grass?

I’ve never learned how to clean fish, but mowing grass isn’t a big deal. I hire someone to do it. Damn, all the yard work. Dougie don’t play that!

What is your favorite lyric from a song?

“I want everything that the world owes me. I tell that to myself and then I agree.” – from Alice Cooper’s “Caught In A Dream”.

Who would win: Brock Lesnar or Bruiser Brody?

How did a wrestling question get mixed up in here? Oh well! In a legit fight, Brock would win. Brody was big and tough as hell, but Brock has the amateur and UFC background going for him, plus he’s a genetic freak of nature. If Brock managed to get Brody cornered or locked up, it’d be over quickly.

What’s your last meal request on Death Row?

Probably just a tray from the local Chinese buffet. True, I’d be hungry again in two hours, but hell, if I’m being put to death, what would that matter?

Have you ever traveled to Canada?

No, and why would I ever want to? Their so-called leader is even more of an idiot than ours is. I have a few awesome Canadian friends, but that country is absolutely a messed-up place. I think South Park says it best.

Should parents who expose their kids to naked unrelated adults have their children taken from them?

That sounds like a good idea to me. And to the adults that are willingly exposing themselves to children, just go ahead and shoot the bastards already.

Why do people hate it when you go the speed limit?

Because people are fickle, stupid, impatient, and overgrown children.

Would you get on a submarine owned and operated by the U.S. Navy?

Not willingly, but if I had no choice, then yeah, sure. I’d have more faith in the Navy than any privately owned tourist submarine.

What causes some people to be frequently and chronically late for everything?

I wish I knew, but it drives me damn crazy. Waiting until the last second to do things. It’s annoying as hell.

Do you prefer fruits or vegetables?

Would I rather hang out with a flaming homo or a brain-dead clown in a wheelchair? It’s a tough call. A happy-go-lucky party guy or a woken, liberal moron. Give me my fruits anytime.

Should students be allowed to have cell phones while in class at school?

While in the classroom, no, not at all. Phones should be left turned off and put away while at school. If a student is caught on their phone while in class, they should be suspended or expelled.

No sex for two years and get $700,000,000. Can you do it?

Easily. Since the days of Clinton, oral isn’t sex, right? So with that in mind, no real sex for two years. Give me the money!

What’s your favorite subgenre of horror?

I love serial killers and slasher flicks.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the playground.

Ubuntu!