Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #116
Random Twitter Q&A
June 29, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

You’re being forced to give an impromptu 20-minute TED Talk on any subject you want, what’s the topic of your speech?

This is an easy one. Customer service and what to and not to do when dealing with idiots. Also, pro wrestling, comics, music, and weird sexual behavior.

Do you ever put peanuts in your Coke?

I’ve seen people do it, but I have never partaken in such an activity. I’ve put M&M’s in my Dew Zero though. It was good.

Who is the greatest fictional bartender of all time?

That legendary bartender found in every bar song ever written, Joe. Set ’em up Joe and make it one for my baby and one more for the road.

What is the craziest thing you debated about?

So many things come to mind here, but the craziest? Is oral sex really sex? Is strictly flirting considered cheating? Is wrestling real? Those would be my favorite three. And by the way, the answers for those three are no, yes, and no.

Would you rather remember everyone’s name you’ve ever met or know how to mix every cocktail ever made?

I don’t need to remember recipes. I have Google. But I do suck badly with names so being able to remember a few of them would be pretty nice.

Ranch or Blue Cheese?

For me, neither. They both look like… I’m not going to say what they look like because I have friends who like both brands of dressing, but I think anyone who knows me can guess. I’ll pass on both though.

What’s your favorite actress over 50?

Linda Hunt, who plays the role of Hettie Lange on NCIS: Los Angeles. That woman is amazing.

Would you rather be a practicing doctor or a medical researcher?

Definitely a researcher. I don’t mind learning stuff, but being an actual doctor means dealing with sick people and I couldn’t handle all that damn whining.

Have you ever eaten the same thing for every meal for longer than a week?

For longer than a week, no. But I’ve gone as long as five days with just one thing back in my younger days. Rice and homemade gravy or Ramen Noodles. Hard times.

Do you prefer to receive recognition in public or private?

Private. I don’t like crowds or being the center of attention. I work better and feel better blending into the background and scenery.

When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

What truth are you talking about? The lie about Santa being fake? It’s not true! He’s still real to me, damn it!

Would you rather hang out with your family or your friends?

My friends are my family far more than most of the blood-related people I am forced to associate with. I love my blood family, but they are not comforting or enjoyable to be around most of the time. I prefer the family that fate & choice have given me instead.

Is Dr. Pepper better than Coke and Pepsi?

Of the three, Pepsi is the best by far. Coke is next and the Doctor, while enjoyable at times, falls into a distant third.

The White House says Americans feel better about their personal finances because of President Biden’s policies. Do You Agree? Yes Or No?

Personal finances? We make less money than ever, but the prices of everything have jumped dramatically and it’s harder than ever to get buy or survive. And all of this is BECAUSE of President Biden’s policies. Do I feel better? I worry more, stress more, and things are much harder now than ever before. So no, I do not feel better.

Is steak and eggs, at midnight, psychopathic behavior?

It sounds more to me like getting hungry and enjoying a good meal. I’m sure that it’s abnormal and dangerous in some way because everything good is, but I doubt it’s anything to worry about.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up for a bit. I need to go shower, eat breakfast, and take my meds. Be good and I’ll see you at the Haunted Castle.

Ubuntu!