Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #117
Random Twitter Q&A
June 30, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Crocodile Rock or Maggie May?

Both songs are good, but hearing Rod Stewart talk about a former lover sounds better to me than hearing about reptiles dancing. Let’s go with Maggie May.

What is the most painful thing you’ve been told until now?

The deaths of my father, my stepfather, the suicide of my brother, and the deaths of my older brother and sister. That I need to have my leg amputated. Take your pick. It’s been a rough life at times.

You can broadcast one sentence to every TV channel and radio in the world and have it translated into each country’s language. What sentence do you say?

Please always remember and never forget, it’s your duty to shake your booty!

Name one athlete you’d love to sit next to on a six-hour flight.

Dylan Postl, aka Hornswoggle. He’s been wrestling for nearly two decades now so he’s an athlete. It would be fun to pick his brain for a few hours, plus I’ve always wanted to have a midget sidekick. So there you go.

Where would you love to haunt if you were a ghost?

That’s a hard one, but I’ll go with Hogwarts, from the Harry Potter movies. My modern self chillaxing with the centuries-old ghosts of Hogwarts and pranking Professor Snape and irritating Dumbledore. It would be awesome.

Who is the greatest referee of all time?

The man who controlled the action for Celebrity Death Match, Judge Mills Lane. “I’ll allow it. Let’s get it on!”

What is an ingredient you add to every meal that’s not in the recipe?

Garlic pepper is a must for 98% of my cooking recipes, plus if I’m frying something, a dash of Worcestershire Sauce is always a welcome addition.

Who’s the most famous band or artist from your state or province?

As a band, they had only limited success, but their spirit lives on with Ducky Medlock, Bucky Covington, Rocky Covington, etc. I have to say a group of guys I remember well and was proud to know, Skratched Apple.

WITHOUT GOOGLING, Name a famous astrologer.

The darling of the tabloids in the 80s and early 90s, Jeanne Dixon.

Does your town have a good and bad side of town? Which side did you grow up on?

Our town is more good and bad neighborhoods than actual sides, although East Laurinburg had a rep for being tough, while Washington Park and Carolina Park were considered The Hood. And The south side, where I grew up was the “good” part of town, even though I can assure you from personal experience, that reputation was a bit misleading.

Who’s the worst guest you’ve had in your house and what did they do?

That has to be my former love interest, Chris. And what did he do? He broke my damn heart. ‘Nuff said!

Would you buy an electric lawn mower?

So I can get half the yard mowed and then have to stop so I can go plug the mower in to let it charge? No, thank you. I’ll pass.

What is your favorite Christmas movie?

I’ve always enjoyed A Christmas Story, watching Ralphie in his struggle to get an official Red Ryder BB Gun and not put his eye out, but my favorite is a slightly lame, but always enjoyable treat called Mixed Nuts.

What was your FIRST job in High School?

My actual first job was at a place called Eno Bar-BQ in Hillsborough, NC, where I worked as a busboy/dishwasher when I was 14, so that wasn’t high school quite yet. That was my last summer before starting my final four years of indoctrination. I guess my first high-school job was at Sinclair Building Center, a building supply store, where I worked as a stock boy and a plant waterer. That was in 10th grade.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Please share, like, and subscribe. You’ll be glad you did and hell, I’ll be ecstatic. Make a middle-aged fat man happier than a night sipping moonshine with a daytime hooker. And with that being said, let’s wrap things up for now. The dryer has stopped. Take care and be well, my friends, and I’ll see you at the Soup Kitchen.

Ubuntu!