Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #118
Random Twitter Q&A
July 2, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Name a song that should NOT be played at a wedding reception.

AC/DC’s Highway to Hell is probably not appropriate. And the classic by Tammy Wynette, D-I-V-O-R-C-E, probably wouldn’t go over very well either.

What is the most elusive thing in the world?

Peace of mind and soul. Happiness! And a good man who’s worth a damn and interested. I’m getting lonely over here.

What’s a song by Alice Cooper that you really like?

For me, it should be more of “What’s a song by Alice Cooper that you don’t like?”, than asking what song I do like because I’m a huge fan of Alice. He and Waylon Jennings are forever my Top 2. A song I really like? How about this one?

What is the mistake you learned from the most?

Chris. I fell in love and trusted the man. I would have and generally did anything and everything I could for him. I got royally screwed over and not in a good way. I learned, that don’t trust ANYBODY with the heart.

You can go back to 1971 for only 1 night to see The Allman Brothers or Deep Purple…Who are you seeing?

Between these two, I’ll go with the Allman Brothers. I want to hear Midnight Rider.

Your best guess, bias aside, is who wins the 2024 presidency?

The Democrats learned in 2020 that they can blatantly lie and steal elections and now that the genie is out of the bottle, they’re not going to stop. Whoever the Democrat nominee is, and it won’t be Joe Biden, will “win” the election. And we’re pretty much fucked! If you think these past three years have been bad, you ain’t seen anything yet.

Do you keep your ketchup in the refrigerator?

Once it’s been opened, yes. Until then, the cabinet is sufficient for ketchup storage.

When was the last time you went to a drive-in movie?

Probably 1983. We used to have a drive-in movie place, the Flamingo Drive-In, just about a mile from my home, that showed XXX-rated movies. And as teenage boys are apt to do, I and several of my friends would go to the backside of the drive-in, cutting through Briarwood Apartments, and sit in the ditch/woods just under the huge screen and do teenage boy stuff. Damn, if only I had been aware of and open about my gayness then, If I knew then what I know now, I would have been in fag-heaven. Those guys were HOT!

Who’s your favorite Disney princess?

Dr. Frank N. Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Disney owns FOX now and the rights to that movie, so he counts. Don’t dream it. Be it! Woo hoo!

Which one of Snow White’s seven dwarfs best describes you?

I’d have to go with Grumpy. Hell, I can’t even remember all the names of all seven of the Dwarfs, but I remember Happy, Dopey, Sneezy, and Doc. Or am I remembering Smurfs? Same difference. Let’s go with Grumpy.

What are things that broke people always have money for?

Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, getting their nails done, take-out from McDonald’s, iPhones, etc. Anything, but gas money, diapers, food for the kids, or to pay that light bill. On that, they’re always a little short and asking, “Can you do me a favor?”.

What is your favorite kind of cheese?

The orange kind. American, I believe.

A plum or peach? Which one do you prefer?

I don’t like plums, but I love peaches. So let’s go with those.

Have you noticed diet affects your mood?

Of course, it does. If I’m hungry, I’m going to be grouchy and ill. I may look better with less of a belly, but I’ll be so damn pissed off and mean, no one will want to be around me. Hell, who am I kidding? Belly or not, I’m still a sexy beast. Ask your boyfriend. He knows.

Would you rather be a famous director or a famous actor?

The famous actor. For that, I’d have to learn my lines, become my character, and act. A director though has to be in charge of everything, make all the decisions, be second-guessed by everyone, and deal with all the headaches. I’ll write and I’ll have a role. I’ll leave the directing to someone else more qualified and controlled to do the job.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up. Take care and be well, my friends. Watch out for people blocking the highway with protests. If you see any, then run their asses down. I’ll see you at the Chinese Buffet.

Ubuntu!