Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #119
Random Twitter Q&A
July 2, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What shows would be on the Mt Rushmore of the greatest TV dramas of all time?

This is a tough one, but I’d go with Sons of Anarchy, House, The Walking Dead, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

What tastes best as a chaser for alcohol?

A cold ass beer always works, but if you’re thinking more of something non-alcoholic, I’ve always been prone to keeping a Pepsi by my side when I drink. It works for me.

What’s the last manly beer commercial you remember?

All of the classic Bud Light “Real Men of Genius” commercials were great. The more recent ones, not so much. And the “Taste Great – Less Filling” commercials for Lite Beer from Miller, were classics too.

Funko Pops: Out of Box or In Box?

I’m not sure because I don’t do Funko Pops, but my bro-son and his utterly amazing Mini-Me both do and think they’re usually kept in the box.

What is your favorite beer?

I don’t care about the protests or boycotts or stupid media campaigns. If I’m putting down a cold one, it’s probably going to be either a Natural Light or a Bud Light. I’m a creature of habit and those have been my go-to brands for 40 years. Why change now?

Would you go on a blind date with a celebrity for $10,000?

Sure, why not. So when is Zac Efron picking me up? Or is it Taylor Lautner? I’ll be ready.

Flipper or Lassie?

As beautiful and fascinating as dolphins are, that squeaking and constant smirk on their face would get annoying pretty fast. I’ll go with Lassie. She was a beautiful collie and we needed her anyhow, to keep that dumb-ass, Timmy, from always falling into the Well.

Are you good at consoling people?

I’m a good listener and I guess that helps, but being the voice of sympathy and understanding is not of my strongest points. I’ll listen, nod, hug, and be there if I can though.

What’s the ideal time to fall asleep?

When I’m tired and my eyes are getting heavy. Then it’s time to go to bed and sleep. Sounds like the ideal time to me.

Pancakes, Waffles, or French Toast?

Of the three options given, I’ll go with pancakes, so long as I’m not the one having to fix them. Too much mess and work involved in mixing the batter, digging out the skillet, cooking, and then putting on a plate with butter and syrup, then cleaning up the dirty dishes. If I’m having to cook, it’s waffles. Throw them in the toaster, add butter and syrup, and you’re done. It’s much easier.

Are you descended from slaveholders?

It’s possible, but I have no idea to be sure. I’ve never owned slaves myself and that’s all that matters to me. Oh wait, I remember this one time with the leather, handcuffs, and the belt and that boy. Oops! But I was the “slave” then. Never mind. But damn, that was fun.

Who would be on your Mt. Rushmore of Dwarfs?

Aside from the seven little perverts who kept Snow White as their maid and servant, I’d go with Hornswoggle, Wee Man, Brad Williams, and Billy Barty.

Would you rather help one person a lot who needs it or make one hundred people’s lives a little bit better?

I’d rather aid one or two people who need it. I would be glad to help the big group too if possible, but I’d be wondering just how much impact I’m having on their lives and if it’s making a difference. With just one or two people, it’s easier to see the results and benefits.

What’s a sound you heard when you were young that you no longer hear?

I remember at nightfall when I was a kid, the crickets would always be chirping. I haven’t heard crickets in years. Where are all the crickets?

Who is the greatest fictional alien of all time?

Marvin the Martian from the Looney Toons. He was one of my role models and inspirations growing up.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap things up. Take care and be well, my friends. Watch out for the frogs because I’m sure that is what happened to the crickets. I’ll see you at the Lily Pond.

Ubuntu!