Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #120
Random Twitter Q&A
July 6, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What’s something you can do better under the influence of alcohol or marijuana than sober?

Sing, deal with human interaction, make conversation, dance, and deal with stupidity.

What BAND would you NEVER see LIVE?

The Monkees, mainly because 3/4 of the group have passed away and only Mickey Dolenz sadly remains. And what would he be? The Monkee? Not a concert that I would want to see.

Worst animal in your opinion?

Spider Crickets. Those hellspawn little demons creep me out big time.

Michael Jordan is not available, who is the greatest NBA player of all time?

It’s a hard call here because I don’t follow the NBA, nor do I care. Larry Bird? Sounds good to me.

What’s something you’re not comfortable eating?

Dog biscuits. They are so damn bland with no flavor or taste to them. Also, I am not a dog, regardless of what your boyfriend has told you.

Is the Earth flat?

Not according to the so-called scientist who designed the globe. If it was flat, the cats would have already knocked Australia off the planet into space.

If your neighbor cut down your trees without asking you would do what?

We have seventeen pine trees in our yard, many of which I would love to be rid of. I’d probably not say a word and just encourage him to take down as many trees as he wants to.

Mr. Feeny is not available, who is the greatest fictional teacher of all time?

Mr. Garrison from South Park of course. Who else could it be, Mmmmkay!

If you took a whiskey shot for every wrong decision you made regarding relationships .. would you be buzzed.. tipsy .. wasted.. passed out .. or dead?

Dead, deceased, passed away, and six feet into the ground many times over. It’s not my fault though. Pretty eyes, a nice smile, or an awesome ass will get me every time.

Have you ever shoveled manure?

I’ve had to scoop up dog shit out of the yard a few times, so that would be a yes.

What’s the most incessant notification on your phone?

Those damn Facebook notifications, followed of course by Grindr.

Who is the greatest fictional magician of all time?

Fictional, as in not real? I wanted to say Harry Potter, but he’s a Wizard and not a magician. Also, given the way some people obsess over those books, is he just a figure of our imagination? Inquiring minds want to know. Dr. Strange is a sorcerer so he’s not eligible either. Let’s go with Merlin.

Do you prefer Peanuts or Crackers for a snack?

Crackers. White boys make for some delicious snacks when you only have enough time for a quickie and not a full relationship.

What issue in American politics is most important to you and who is your preferred 2024 Presidential candidate?

The political issue I’m most concerned about is who is going to bring our nation back together and restore sanity with common sense policies, cutting entitlements, reducing spending, curbing illegal immigration, and making our nation strong once again. Who will make America a place to be proud of and love once more instead of the chaotic disaster it’s become? And my preferred Presidential Candidate for 2024? Of the ones who are currently running, I’d prefer Trump, although I have doubts that he could win a nationwide election because the Dems already stole one and got away with it so they’ll keep doing it, and when the deck is that stacked and with that much cheating going on, Trump can’t win. No Republican can. If for some reason Trump isn’t the nominee, I’d like to see Greg Abbott of Texas have a shot.

Does fluoride in the water worry you?

No, not really. Unless it’s in the bottled water too, it’s not a big deal to me.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap things up. I’m playing catch-up today so I still have two more posts to go. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the parking lot.

Ubuntu!