Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #121
Random Twitter Q&A
July 6, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Have you ever experienced white privilege?

Most likely since I’m a white guy, but I’ve also been turned down for jobs because of my race, treated differently for the same reason, and been refused help from DSS, again because of my race, so it works both ways.

You’re offered $100k to recite 90% of a movie. What movie are you choosing?

The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Clerks, or Airplane. Take your pick and bring it on because I’m ready, willing, and able. Give me my movie check.

Would you rather be able to be free from junk mail or free from email spam for the rest of your life?

Junk mail gets deposited in the garbage can almost immediately upon being brought into the house so that’s not a big deal. That e-mail spam though? That stuff gets annoying pretty quickly. Take it away.

Who is your least favorite actor?

Alec Baldwin. He’s not only an idiot and a murderer, but he sucks as an actor too.

What was the first thing you learned how to cook?

I can’t remember for sure, but most likely hot dogs or heating cans of soup. I was helping my Dad in the kitchen when I was 5-6 years old and have always been rather handy around the stove.

Do you have an inner monologue?

I do and he won’t shut up, always talking, analyzing, second-guessing, and making crude and sick remarks. I like him.

Do Pride Flags Belong In Classrooms? Yes Or No?

No flag of any cause, political movement, purpose, etc., belongs in an American school classroom unless it’s the United States flag or possibly the flag representing the state where the class is located at. No exceptions.

What can you celebrate today?

That I made it through another birthday, and that my Mom is okay. She fell this morning and I had to call an ambulance to help get her up, but aside from a bruise and sore leg, she’s moving around and seems to be getting better quickly. And that even though I’m old, fat, and moody as fuck, I’m still a sexy beast and the men love me. Well, at least three of them have so far in the past couple of days. Woof!

What’s a great song that mentions running?

The first that comes to mind is Van Halen’s Running With The Devil.

Name a Sequel That’s Better Than The Original.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes. The original, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, was a cult classic and is okay, but the second (and third) movies are much better. The second, which features a young George Clooney, plus John Astin at his crazy-ass best, is faster-paced, has a better story, and is just more fun with breaking the fourth wall and just lots of goofy stuff.

Do you have any health or fitness goals for the summer?

Get my sugar under control, make my doctors smile more, and get laid more often. Other than that, I’m good.

Do you tweet for you or do you tweet for everyone else?

It’s a combination of both. I tweet some tweets to poke the bear, stir the pot, and get a reaction from the other people on Twitter. The majority though, it’s just me being me and saying whatever is on my mind, and if someone doesn’t like it, two words for them. And any wrestling fan can tell you exactly what those two words would be.

You can go back to 1978 for one night to see Rush or Aerosmith!! Who are you seeing?

Rush is a talented band with some good music, but it’s Aerosmith all the way.

What is the greatest fictional hall monitor of all time?

Wasn’t Eric Cartman a Hall Monitor once or twice on South Park? I can’t remember for sure, but if he wasn’t, he sure should have been. “Quit running in the halls. Respect my authority!”. Let’s go with that. Cartman!

Is A.1. on steak sacrilege?

I prefer ketchup. And I don’t care who agrees or doesn’t. It’s good that way.

And there you go with another edition of Questions (Not) By Casper put to bed. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s close down the shop for today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the SubWay. I’m looking for a five-dollar footlong. Wish me luck.

Ubuntu!