Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #122
Random Twitter Q&A
July 8, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What animal are you surprised isn’t extinct yet?

Man. People tend to get more and more stupid with each generation, as technology improves, but common sense seems to be dying away. How we haven’t blown our planet up yet or killed each other with the stupidity that is running rampant, I have no idea.

Who’s the most talented lyricist of all time?

Alice Cooper and Dolly Parton were the first two names that popped into my head, but then I thought of Bernie Taupin. He’s the man who wrote 90% of Elton John’s songs when Elton was first starting and is easily one of the most talented songwriters in existence.

What country other than your own feels like home?

I’ve never been to any other countries so I can’t say. Atlantis maybe?

If you own a business or even if you don’t. If someone turned a resume in with their preferred pronouns, what would you do with it?

It would be immediately tossed into the trash can. If I’m running a business, I need employees to be focused on doing their jobs and helping my business to prosper and grow. I don’t need employees who are more concerned with playing make-believe and causing potential headaches than doing their jobs. They can go play their games somewhere else.

Leftovers.. how do you feel about them?

I like leftovers. That means I get food that’s already prepared, I know to be good, and I don’t have to cook. It’s a win-win-win for me.

Apart from a gun, what would be your ideal weapon in a zombie apocalypse?

If I can’t blast them away with a gun, I’ll settle for mutant powers where I can create and control fire, much like the Fantastic Four’s Human Torch. And then I could just flash-fry the zombies into crispy critters.

What’s the craziest “toy” you ever bought yourself?

The craziest, I can’t speak of here, but Russ & Brent know what it is, from my days in Wilmington. So I’ll just say, Danny. He was expensive at times, but I had a lot of fun with him many, many times.

Who let you down the most, Joe Biden or Mike Pence?

I guess it would be Pence. I knew that Biden would be a complete fuck-up from his days in the Senate and he has not only not failed to disappoint, he has far exceeded my expectations on how much of a disaster he truly is. Pence, I never really had any expectations for the guy, but to be there for the President, so when he failed at that, it was sad to see.

What is better, hard shell tacos or soft shell tacos?

The hard shells. If I want a soft shell, I’ll get a Buritto Supreme.

What’s your favorite “Where’s Waldo?” book?

I have never read a book about Waldo, nor do I ever intend to, so a favorite book? I don’t have one.

What doesn’t exist but you desperately want/need it?

Someone who loves me for me and that could/would be here for me and not what I can do for them or how they can take advantage. That person seemingly doesn’t exist.

Who do you make happy?

Your boyfriend when I can spare a few minutes and don’t have much else to do. Just kidding (or am I?). I hope that I make a few people smile with my comments, observations, and sarcasm every so often. If I can do that, my day has not been wasted.

Would you rather be locked in a room that is constantly dark for a week or a room that is constantly bright for a week?

It matters not to me. I can sleep anywhere. But I think a week of darkness, so long as it’s quiet too, with no pets, family, phones, or people, would be pretty damn nice right now.

If you were an action figure, what accessories would you be sold with?

A cash register, a computer, and a damn cat.

Live in a house or an apartment?

I’ve always preferred a house, but right now, I would be good with either. I just need some privacy and alone time where I can relax, destress, and put my soul at peace for a while. It sure as hell isn’t here.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, take care my friends. I’ll see you at the Shrink’s office. Take care.

Ubuntu!