Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #126
Random Twitter Q&A
July 11, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

How many Mormons do you know?

When I was 7-8 years old, my two best friends were Morman kids. No, wait, they were Jewish kids. William and Rosalie Huff. My bad. I don’t think I actually know any Mormons in person, although I have spoken to many “Elders” riding around on their bicycles and knocking on doors over the years. Some of them were pretty cool dudes… and hot. Something about that white shirt and that straight-laced attitude. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy in the tum tum.

What is a great new tv show you recommend?

I can’t think of any because I don’t watch TV and everything I can think of hearing about on television seems to suck. Get back to me on this one.

Best side dishes for steak?

I would say a baked potato, a small salad, and stuffing. I like stuffing with everything.

If for some reason Trump cannot be the nominee in 2024, who would you vote for in the primary?

It really doesn’t matter who we vote for in the General Election because the Dems are going to steal it again just like they did in 2020. They got away with it then and they’re not going to stop now. But of the people currently running, if not President Trump, I kind of like Governor Haley from South Carolina. I’m keeping an eye on everyone though to see how they perform in the primaries and who has the best chance of being elected.

What’s cool to do in Salt Lake City Utah?

Get married? I heard that they have seven or eight spouses there. It’s one of those Mormon things, you know. Or maybe go stalk one of the Osmonds.

What’s your favorite Olivia Newton-John song?

This classic is from 1981. It’s all about getting physical.

What is a movie you would watch just for the music?

I love musicals so this is a tough choice, but I’ll go with the movie Jesus Christ Superstar. I listen to the soundtrack quite often and it has some amazing sounds and tunes.

Inspector Clouseau or Maxwell Smart?

The famed Inspector from the Pink Panther movies or the weird special agent from the Get Smart TV series? A tough call to be sure. I think I’ll go with Inspector Clouseau. Peter Sellers was a hoot.

Are you hotter in real life or on Twitter?

I am truly a sexy beast either way, but on Twitter, I may come across as an asshole to some people. I can’t imagine why, but it’s true. Shocking, I know. So we’ll go with real life, where my grumpy, yet adorable teddy bear tendencies shine through and are apparent for all to see.

Plain or Peanut M&M’s?

I like the peanut ones better.

What’s the point of having competitions for women if they can be won by men?

There is no point so either keeping the men out or just canceling the events entirely and being done with them.

What is something positive and/or uplifting that’s happened to you today?

I’ve only been awake for twenty minutes and I’m already getting annoyed, volunteered to do things I don’t care to do, and my head is starting to pound with the approach of a major headache due to stress. Get back to me later on this one because so far today, I’m not a happy person. I hate this damn place sometimes.

Have you ever seen a milkman?

I’ve seen and met many people over the years who deliver milk to stores, but an actual milkman who goes door to door each morning, taking milk to people’s homes and picking up empty containers? Yes, I have. I used to see them quite frequently when I was a kid and growing up in Raleigh. I’m old.

You only get one restaurant to eat at for the rest of your lives. Which restaurant do you choose?

Just find me a Chinese restaurant with a good Buffet and that’ll work fine for me.

What’s the best marriage advice you could give to someone?

Don’t do it. Run for your lives and just say no. And if you do decide to take the plunge and be married, just be open, honest, and good to each other and the rest will work itself out as a result.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Be sure to share, like, and subscribe. Comments, thoughts, and questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap things up. Take care and be well, my friends. Watch out for killer bees from the Amazon forest. I’ll see you at the Chicken Ranch.

Ubuntu!