Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #129
Random Twitter Q&A
July 16, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

If Mark Zuckerberg showed up at your door and offered you 5 million dollars to never use Twitter again, would you take the money?

Of course, I would. Twitter is okay, but it’s not all that. Give me the money.

What do you think people automatically assume about you when they look at you?

That I’m probably better in the sack than their girlfriend. And they’re right. I’ll rock their world.

Would you go to Mars tomorrow if you could? $1,000 round trip ticket.

Probably not. I despise going to Walmart and it’s only three miles away, so a planet millions of miles away, I don’t think so.

Do you talk to yourself?

Of course, I do. I like intelligent conversation every so often.

Who’s an actor that doesn’t have a bad movie?

Leo DiCaprio comes to mind, as do Robert Downey Jr. and Johnny Depp. I’m sure that there are some stinkers among these three gentlemen, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head.

How do you know if someone is ‘non-binary’? How we can tell?

Unless they’re wearing a t-shirt or tell me, even though I don’t care, I can’t, nor can any reasonably sane person.

What’s the most unusual food you’ve ever tried?

Squid. It was okay until I was told what it was. Then my stomach and mind said, “Hell no!”.

Pete Rose isn’t available… who is the greatest Cincinnati Reds player of all time?

The only other Cincinnati Red I can think of is Johnny Bench. And by the way, Pete Rose belongs in the Hall of Fame.

What do you do when you can’t sleep?

I write, listen to music, watch videos, and lay in bed overthinking every single aspect of my life and existence.

What food reminds you of the family?

Salmon Patties. My sister, Lynn, used to make them and they were damn good!

What would be the cutest infestation to have in your home?

A swarm of Smurfs riding kittens. That would be amazing, just like your boyfriend.

What % of the time are you able to do your grocery shopping without using a buggy?

Zero percent. I always find other things that I can’t live without and need with every trip to the grocery store.

Who immediately comes to mind when you hear “insanely hot”?

I have a few friends who would fall into that category. I won’t name names since the people in mind are all straight, good friends, and so damn sexy, but I don’t want to embarrass them or make them think that I want their bodies. I do, but they’re friends so I’ll refrain. I won’t mention Carmen, Larry, Chris, Bryan, Chad, Richard, Jim, or Joey’s names.

Mr. Beast isn’t available, who is the biggest “Beast” of all time?

Who the hell is Mr. Beast? The only two beasts that matter are Hank McCoy, aka The Beast, of X-Man fame, and myself, who is and has always been a sexy beast. Just ask your boyfriend. Ask your dad. They both know.

Have you ever mooned anyone?

Once or twice, I’ve been responsible for a full moon or two. Just a nice way of saying hello.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, questions, and any dirty jokes are welcome and appreciated. And with that, take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Soccer Field.

Ubuntu!