Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #133
Random Twitter Q&A
July 21, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Do you think animals have accents when they talk to other animals based on where they’re from like people do?

I would like to think so, yes. A cat from here in NC with exaggerated, drawn-out meows, while a Pit Bull from New York uses short and blunt barks. Sounds right to me.

Besides a raise or more vacation time, what’s the best perk a company can offer employees?

Drugs and hookers. Okay, no drugs, but maybe a beer or bottle every so often. I still stand by the hookers though.

Do you have any secrets you’ll take to your grave?

Yes, I do. Or I’ll write the book one day and just change a few names to protect the not-so-innocent and tell everything. Not sure which would be better.

Where do you like going for walks?

I used to enjoy walking around my neighborhood in the middle of the night, walking on the Motorcross between my neighborhood and Country Club Estates, before they cut down all the trees, and walking around St. Andrews University with my bro and his son. Now, with this damn prosthetic, I like making it to the bathroom, my bed, or the truck and I’m happy.

What’s a great solo album from a musician who is normally part of a band?

Phil Collins, when he took a break from Genesis and did the solo stuff, he essentially ruled the 80s. I still don’t even know what a Sususuddio is. Let’s go with Mr. Collins.

Dynasty or Dallas?

I never could get into the lives of the Carrington Family, but I loved me some Ewings. My life on Friday nights was to hang out with my friends, go home by 9:00 pm to watch Dallas, and then head back out at 10:00 to be sociable again. True story! Dallas was my show.

Has an ocean creature ever touched you while you were swimming?

I’ve been touched many times while swimming and I’m sure that one or two of those swipes and gropes belonged to a creature of the sea.

What is the greatest soup of all time?

Homemade Veggie Soup. It doesn’t get any better than that on a cold winter day.

What’s an innocent crime that people commit?

No crimes are just innocent crimes. They’re illegal for a reason. But one that seems harmless to me is… Is ripping the tags off a mattress still illegal? I’m drawing a blank here. I had a joke in mind when I copied and pasted this question from Twitter, but that was a couple of days ago. And now, I have nothing. My bad!

Would you ever eat random mushrooms you found in your backyard?

No, I would not. I’m not big on mushrooms anyhow. I might lick a frog or two, but for the mushrooms, just say no.

Do you consider onion rings an “upgrade” from fries?

An upgrade? That’s a nice way to say it and yes, I do.

Do you prefer the Dad bod or ripped abs?

The ripped abs are nice to look at, but I want a belly and some meat on the bones. Give me that Dad bod anytime.

We just met at the bar and I’m gonna buy you a drink. What are you ordering?

Just a cold beer works fine for me. I’m a simple man with simple tastes and I don’t want to get too messed up too soon. I’ll wait until we get to the house or motel room for that.

Why would someone vote against a bill that would make sex traffickers face harsher penalties?

Either they’re protecting someone who is a sex trafficker or they’re involved in that business in some fashion themselves. Either way, they’re proving themselves to be a piece of shit.

Did Carole Baskin kill her husband and feed him to the tigers?

This video/song by Joe Exotic says it all.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to share, like, and subscribe. And with that, let’s wrap things up. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Salad Bar.

Ubuntu!