Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #143
Random Twitter Q&A
August 2, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Water isn’t available, what are you drinking?

Probably a Mt. Dew Zero or Pepsi Zero.

Would you vote for a President if they were gay?

So long as they share my values and seem qualified to do the job and put America first, I don’t give a damn who they sleep with or are attracted to. That shouldn’t matter so long as it’s not children or animals.

How often are you cooking at home?

Usually, I go with frozen meals or chicken nuggets, but I cook real food regularly as well. I love to cook when I can.

Are you angry today? If so, what about?

Angry, no. Just lost, alone, and depressed.

Do you support term limits for members of Congress? YES or NO?
Why?

Because Congress is like a diaper and just like diapers, the members need to be changed when they’ve been on too long and are full of shit.

What dream matches are left with Chris Jericho?

A wrestling question on the Casper posts? Oy vey! Jericho is in the twilight of his career and there aren’t many dream matches left. Maybe Jericho versus LA Knight? Jericho versus Grayson Waller? Okay, I’ve got it. Jericho versus Dom Mysterio. There you go.

The average house has 2.5 bedrooms. How many bedrooms does your house have?

We have three, as we should.

How did you meet your best friend?

I was working at a gas station and my manager hired this kid and warned me, “Don’t scare him off”. I helped train him and we hit it off pretty well. I didn’t scare him off and he’s been my bestie and my brother ever since.

If you were building a country festival, who are your 3 headliners?

If we’re talking country, my headliners would be Dolly Parton, Jelly Roll, and David Allen Coe.

Twix or Milky Way?

Twix, but only the left ones.

What’s a gay man’s favorite meal?

That’s easy. Either a foot long or something from Five Guys.

What is the name of your local bowling alley?

I think it’s Laurinburg Lanes, but honestly, I don’t know for sure. I haven’t been there in nearly twenty-five years.

What is something you have done recently that you are proud of?

I have nothing. It’s been a rough past week. I made some chicken & dumplings. Would that count? And yes, they were delicious.

What’s a name you always thought was gawd awful?

Danny. It’s not so much the name, but the people who have that name. At least some of them, the ones that I know. They’re trouble. Really bad trouble.

Have you ever been discriminated against?

Yes. For being white, handicapped, fat, a man, and gay. All of the above.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s wrap it up. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Petting Zoo.

Ubuntu!