Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #148
Random Twitter Q&A
August 9, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Would you ever become a competitive eater?

I like food. Food is our friend. But eating should be a pleasurable experience and not a game or competition. So I would say, no.

Jason Voorhees is not available, who is the greatest Jason of all time?

Jason Mewes, aka Jay of Jay & Silent Bob fame. Snootch to the motherfucking nootch!

Would you be in favor of WWE making SummerSlam a two-day event like WrestleMania?

I’ve answered this before in my regular column, The Ultimate Wrestling Q&A, exclusively at DougMaynard.com. Yes, I think it should be made into an entire week of events with Smackdown, SummerSlam, RAW, and the Hall of Fame ceremony all thrown together to make it truly the biggest party of the summer.

What was the best movie you’ve seen recently?

Recently? I watched Guardians of the Galaxy III the other night. I liked it.

Who thinks Michelle Obama is really a man?

Mike Obama? Yeah, that’s a man. He was trans before being trans was considered cool. He’s definitely far more of a man that his husband, Barry.

Have you ever experienced a culture shock? Where was it and what happened?

I was raised in North Carolina in a mid-sized town. Redneck Central if you will. I went to Connecticut to see some friends. I was going to move there, but it’s a whole different world. I did not belong there with my country-speaking, talkative, redneck ass. I came home after three weeks.

What’s one thing you were told growing up that you found out as an adult was a lie?

That politicians are actually here for us and police can be trusted. As I learned quickly, that’s more often than not, not the case.

Have you ever ended up in the “friend zone?”

Many times. I’m a gay man with a lot of good-looking, straight friends. I value friendships more than a quick piece of ass or a sexual encounter and make that clear. I still talk shit and always will, but I would rather be the bro, the bud, the dude to chill with than ruin it with some freaky man loving. And thus, I remain “just a friend”.

What is your pickiest food preference?

My Corn Beef Hash has to be Armour. Nothing else will do.

Do you know how to play chess?

No, I never learned how. I can kick ass with checkers, but for chess, there’s too much thinking involved.

Do you believe that the Department of Justice—and the federal government—have been weaponized against conservatives?

Look at the FBI and Department of Justice and their actions with President Trump, with the protection of Hunter & Joe Biden, with the persecution of the January 6 protestors. How can I believe otherwise?

Do you actually pray for people when they ask for prayer?

I do and I also pray for people I see who are having a rough time, regardless of if they ask for prayer or not.

Why isn’t Bill Gates serving life in prison?

Bill Gates has money and power and the laws that apply to you, and I don’t apply to the rich and powerful. He can do what he wants while the rest of us have to follow laws and face consequences.

Did you play with Matchbox cars when you were a kid?

I did and I even had the ramps and tracks.

You witness someone stealing food while grocery shopping, what do you do?

So long as they’re not stealing from the liquor store, I’m not saying a word. If I see them trying to steal from my store though, it’s on like a cat in heat and the fifteen strays that have wandered into the yard. At the grocery store, the employees aren’t allowed to stop them so why should I get involved when the employees can’t?

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the Wal-Mart.

Ubuntu!